Recent content by Aardvark

Ultimate Fighter. But only because I skip most of the show and go straight to the beatings.

If you need to learn parenting from a TV show, you've already failed as a parent.

They should've just called it "Crusader Bob's Hellish Crusade... through Hell," then let the punters pick up the Dante parallels.

There we are, case in point. As for the actual article of clothing itself, only girls can pull it off. Guys look like wannabe thugs or oversized children.

Too Human. As shit and godawful as it was, I just couldn't bring myself to put a bullet into it.

But beware. Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.

The Hoodie. Why are you silly twits still wearing the stupid things? You're not tough, you're not a lad, you're a skinny little git who shies away from anybody your size or larger, in case they demand to know if you're hard enough. If your head is cold, wear a hat.

Slayer's alright in society, but crank it too loud and you'll scare old people and midgets. Nobody knows why Mandatory Suicide causes the little bastards to run around and bump into things, but I can tell you from first-hand experience, it's funny as hell.

Anybody who laughs at this either hasn't seen it, therefore aren't human, or just aren't human. They're some breed of robots, failing at social infiltration. As we all know, robots are not to be trusted.

Painkiller's hardest difficulty was harder to unlock than the actual game. I swear, I had to use glitches to get some of that treasure. But in the end, it was worth it, not just for the real ending, but for the experience playing without the constant healing and demon powers.

It's one of the things IBM's David Bradley will always be remembered for. Before that, whenever a program crashed the machine, you'd have to hard reset the thing, which was arduous and slow in those ancient times. Originally meant to be ctrl+alt+esc, he found it too easy to bump, so tried...

I hit hard, have high pain tolerance and have a tendency to go for the eyes/testicles, not stopping until my opponent loses enough of either to think better of taking me.

Little known fact: LHLA is really a front for Azazel's Chosen, a dark sect of the Abaddonites, a group devoted to bringing about the end of The Lord's reign on Earth, by breaking the 7 seals and unleashing the Apocalypse. They believer that if 666 gamers play all 8 games (8 being the number of...

I never did get American Football at all. Whistle blows, large, armoured men crash into eachother, another whistle blows, then there's 5 minutes worth of replays for that 5 seconds of game time. Repeat ad nauseum.

Dante's Inferno is highly anticipated? Really? By whom? I know they had some original marketing, but really, did anybody, at any point over the past year or so, think to themselves, "Holy shit, Dante's Inferno on it's way! Man I'm chomping at the bit for that one, I'll be faking illness...