Stolen Pixels #230: The History of Civilization, Part 1

[Shamus Young]

Stolen Pixels #230: The History of Civilization, Part 1

Videogames can teach you things you never knew about the history of mankind.

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[Moriarty]

I agree about the imbalanced civilisations part, germany can crush three civilisations before leaving ancient era thanks to their barbarian "allys".

And don't get me started on the japanese, as long as they heal every turn, even single units are a huge effort to defeat without seriously out-teching them.

 

[Adanos]

But I thought America realy built the Piramids. It made their workers build faster. It makes sense.

 

[oliveira8]

Well Americans get the best bomber of the game. I think...

 

[SomeLameStuff]

According to Civilization 5, Stonehenge was built by the Japanese, who then sent a rocket to the moon by 1300 AD, while United Nations was founded in 900 AD.

The more you know...

And don't get me started on the japanese, as long as they heal every turn, even single units are a huge effort to defeat without seriously out-teching them.

Ahhh... Bushido, the only way a single scout can take an entire squad of warriors.

I'm currently having so much fun beefing up the city states with advanced units, so whichever empire tries to attack them gets annihilated.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I only played the demo and I had Thebes build every single one of the Wonders available.

Methinks a few modifications are needed here.

But how can we make sure that everyone gets those modifications, which couldn't really have been spotted in beta testing.

Oh wait, it's on Steam, already done.

 

[Tiamat666]

Civ2.. the memories...
...of AI units pointlessly wandering back and forth,
and fortifying right next to my cities for 200 turns,
and attacking me slowly, gleefully, always one unit at a time,
and generally just sitting there waiting for my Dragoons and Tanks to roll over them.

Yes, Civilization 2 was great, but the AI really only started to get interesting from Civ3 upward.

 

[Jared]

Heh, It does seem some a pretty unbalanced, especilly if the AI controls the Japanese...it hurts!

 

[Irridium]

Yeah, I got the "Seriously?!" achievement because Egypt kept building all the damn wonders.

Then I took them over. Now its all mine.

NOT SO SMUG NOW, ARE YOU EGYPT?!

Also, Big Ben is really located in Cleveland, not London. Who would have thought...

 

[Andronicus]

I love how the first few turns see you jumping forward several hundred years at a time. This is exactly how I'd imagine their reactions in the game. Absolutely hilarious.

Oh, and according to the last game I was playing about an hour ago, the Romans were annihilated by the Ottoman Empire, who built the pyramids. Unfortunately, I was the one playing the Romans...

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

Got over the Chime addiction, and replaced it with Civ, eh?

 

[WaderiAAA]

After reading this and Cirtical Miss I must say Civilization V sounds hilarius.

EDIT: Oh, and it is only part 1. Looking forwards to more.

 

[DTWolfwood]

I agree about the imbalanced civilisations part, germany can crush three civilisations before leaving ancient era thanks to their barbarian "allys".

And don't get me started on the japanese, as long as they heal every turn, even single units are a huge effort to defeat without seriously out-teching them.

man it sounds like fun as hell reading this XD I never got into the Civ series cause i got scared by it in one of the early iterations. It all seem too complicated >.< But i hear this one is actually a good starting point for beginners?

as for the comic Hah! XD

 

[Moriarty70]

I agree about the imbalanced civilisations part, germany can crush three civilisations before leaving ancient era thanks to their barbarian "allys".

And don't get me started on the japanese, as long as they heal every turn, even single units are a huge effort to defeat without seriously out-teching them.

My name, you stole it

After reading this and Cirtical Miss I must say Civilization V sounds hilarius.

EDIT: Oh, and it is only part 1. Looking forwards to more.

There's always the chance it's a Mel Brooks reference. He may never go near this again. It's good to be the perpetually elected democratic head of state.

And may I say, it's really fun having cities on either side of the British Empire. The sun never sets on me Queenie.

 

[Robyrt]

Just want to reiterate my support for putting comments BELOW the comic. It is so much easier to read naturally now!

As far as Civ 5 goes, Civ Rev has a pretty balanced list of faction advantages. Even something as trivial as the Arabs' "Free knowledge of Religion" allows you to get a huge tech lead by trading Religion for whatever tech the other sides researched.

 

[Mariena]

Just want to reiterate my support for putting comments BELOW the comic. It is so much easier to read naturally now!

Hear hear!

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Even something as trivial as the Arabs' "Free knowledge of Religion" allows you to get a huge tech lead by trading Religion for whatever tech the other sides researched.

TBF, would you prefer the real version where the Japanese discover Gunpowder pre-Christianity, or the Moors(Arabians) discover Medicine/Architechture in Medieval times?

 

[lomylithruldor]

Well Americans get the best bomber of the game. I think...

buying tiles is also cheaper. Makes getting resources quickly easier.

OT: For the egyptians, learn from history and do as Alexander did. Let them build their stuff, then capture their cities. Works every time.

I agree that 3 times barbarian cash may seem weak, but in my present game (Aztec, standard Earth, 3rd time option at Prince level, began in north america and quickly conquered the other civ in america), northen canada, south america and oceania have no civ on it so there's a lot of barbarian spawn, even in the 1900 AD. I've got the honor SP and a couple of units destroying camps when they spawn. It gives me about 10 culture every turn (Montezuma's special ability is to get culture every time you kill a unit) and 37 gold every 1-2 turn. I use it to fund my relationship with city-states. Having 3 times that amount would be useful. Also, embarked units can defend themselves, so you don't need a lot of escort while you transport your army from one continent to the next.

I think my favorite civ is the Arabs. +2 gold from trade routes earns you a LOT of money in archipelago maps (build harbors in every cities). Bazaar double the number of luxury resources worked by the city (and +25% gold like the market which it replace). That's a hell of a lot of resources you can trade to get those you don't have. They're good mid-game with their camel archers and late in the game they have a lot of tanks (because of their double oil).