This Talking Plush Portal Turret Doesn't Hate You

John Funk

U.N. Owen Was Him?
Dec 20, 2005
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This Talking Plush Portal Turret Doesn't Hate You

Never before has something been so lethal and yet so cuddly.

The characters of Portal are indeed a lovable bunch. You have the omnicidal GLaDOS, the buffoonish Wheatley, and who could ever forget that old friend, the Weighted Companion Cube? But personally, I always found the game's turrets to be the most lovable of all. They were just doing their jobs, after all, and only the most stony-hearted gamers could massacre them en masse with nary a tear coming to their eyes.

[vimeo=22804972]

Naturally, it was only a matter of time before somebody turned the Portal turrets into a plushie. And oh, look: Somebody has.

Meet Trudi the Turret [http://upnotnorth.net/projects/portal-turret-plushie/], a "baby turret" borne from the minds of Leigh Nunan and Jonathan Guberman. The plushie's infrared tracking and motion sensors can detect when someone passes in front of the camera, when someone picks it up, and when someone topples it over (you monster). It plays soundbytes from the game accordingly.

This thing is super-cute, but unfortunately Guberman and Nunan know better than to mass-produce someone else's intellectual property for profit. That said, Guberman indicated that he'd be willing to work with Valve on a commercial variant of Trudi.

Do you hear that, Valve? Do you hear the sweet cha-ching from gamers' wallets around the world? You should get right on this, Valve, because I'll gladly take three. Or three hundred.

(Via G4TV [www.g4tv.com/thefeed/blog/post/712123/talking-portal-turret-plush-nugget-from-the-net/])

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May 5, 2010
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That video reminded me of just how creepy those things were the first time I encountered them. I have since been desensitized and see nothing wrong with a killing machine that looks vaguely like a spider and sounds like a child.
 

Scorched_Cascade

Innocence proves nothing
Sep 26, 2008
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Step 1)Buy lots of these
Step 2)Wait till roommate is out
Step 3)Hide them around his room with lines of sight into various bits of the room
Step 4)???
Step 5)Profit
 

EscapeGoat_v1legacy

New member
Aug 20, 2008
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...Don't worry, lil turret, I don't hate you either. I don't hate you for shooting me. I don't hate you for doing your job. As long as we don't hate each other, we'll be alright.

That's so freaking sweet. Hats off to those two who made this. Valve, if you're seeing this, you should stop watching and get making. I'm waiting here with money to drop into your office, in exchange for one of these.

Oh, and I hope I'm not the only one who thought it was sort of sad that the video ended with the turret falling and "shutting down".
 

i am not god

New member
Dec 6, 2007
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Scorched_Cascade said:
Step 1)Buy lots of these
Step 2)Wait till roommate is out
Step 3)Hide them around his room with lines of sight into various bits of the room
Step 4)???
Step 5)Profit
Love it, the last step always has to be profit, not matter what the rest is about.
 

Death-of-Penguins

New member
Mar 2, 2010
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This would be perfect for my friend's birthday. It's either this, or I have to knit one, so I'm hoping they make these and save me the hassle. Their one is better anyway.
 

TimeLord

For the Emperor!
Legacy
Aug 15, 2008
7,508
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I'll take 4.

But if you don't make this Valve it's alright. "I don't hate you."
Actually I will but then I couldn't have put in a quote....
 

Quaxar

New member
Sep 21, 2009
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Well, it's nice, but can it exterminate all unauthorized lifeforms in under 6.28 Seconds?