Don?t Stick It in The Crazy
- Thread starter Lara Crigger
- Start date
While I have experience a tamer version of what the first guy was going through I realized that both cases apply to one of my best friend's most recent relationships. She seduced the poor inexperienced man into cheating with her on her husband (which resulted in a divorce) and then went on to do pretty much the exact same thing to him as what happened to the first guy in this column. Poor guy 
Anyway, good advice. You have my approval. :3
Anyway, good advice. You have my approval. :3
Indeed up until:saregos said:
She really didn't sound all that crazy, just needy and co-dependent. Hell I've been that person before, and I've dated girls like that - usually it just means the person isn't emotionally ready to be in a serious relationship, and is using the relationship as a crutch for their other issues. Never in all my years of dating, or my friends dating have I heard it turn into "Pokes holes into condoms to try and get knocked-up".
Fact of the matter is the crazy usually doesn't show until its too late.
I had a crazy ex-fiancé awhile back. Yeah, I was that far in before it came to light--that's why God invented the "diamond" as a magic lens that forces crazy women to reveal themselves.Lara Crigger said:
This is sound advice--completely break contact. In this case, buddy, you're heroin. It's not your fault or anything, but you are the subject of her addiction. And it doesn't matter how well-meaning the heroin might be, or how much it really just wants to help her feel better, it's still fueling destructive behaviors.
And as much as sometimes we want to help these people become self-sufficient, heroin can never be aspirin. She has put you in a position from which you cannot help her. And worse? Even trying to explain that to her is still "being her heroin." Just like drug addicts will do crazy and self-destructive things to get more drugs (or just to make the drugs seem less awful by comparison), she will do the same.
The good news? Crazy is like fire--in the absence of fuel, it will burn itself out. The longer that takes, the more damage is done, so don't fuel it, and you'll be doing both of you a huge favor.
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To the recent divorcé:
You're her parachute--meant to cling to her back impotently, only to be used in the event that she doesn't make it to her real destination. Either that, or you're just her in-flight snack. Either way, don't do it.
You know....maybe being single isn't really such a depressing prospect.
It can always be so much worse.
It can always be so much worse.
BAH!!!!
Thats pretty uncalled for... Crazy girls need love too yanno. If every one took this advice and "Didnt stick it in the crazy" Then would there be enough sane people left to continue populating the planet?
Look as someone who is flypaper for freaks, let me explain the flaw of your logic. Your giving advice to people based on what is rational and logical. If they follow that advice that means Miss batshit will inevitably be forced to take things to a more insane level of which no one will be able to predict. The best thing you can do is out insane them to the point it scares them shitless and they think YOUR the freak. Its really the only way, because Crazy moves forward like a juggernaut.
Anyway, best of luck to the letter writers, and Best of luck to the responder.
Thats pretty uncalled for... Crazy girls need love too yanno. If every one took this advice and "Didnt stick it in the crazy" Then would there be enough sane people left to continue populating the planet?
Look as someone who is flypaper for freaks, let me explain the flaw of your logic. Your giving advice to people based on what is rational and logical. If they follow that advice that means Miss batshit will inevitably be forced to take things to a more insane level of which no one will be able to predict. The best thing you can do is out insane them to the point it scares them shitless and they think YOUR the freak. Its really the only way, because Crazy moves forward like a juggernaut.
Anyway, best of luck to the letter writers, and Best of luck to the responder.
While not at that particular level of crazy, other kinds of crazy can be quite fun. Speaking as a veteran of quite a few crazies, there is a reason we keep going back to crazy. The bodies, the minds, the adrenaline rush as she threatens to leave you/stab you/cook you dinner...nothing quite like it. I mean, yeah, the girls who are just the normal amount of crazy, over normal things, yeah, they're wonderful too. But you just don't get that same rush, that same feeling. In that regard, sticking in it crazy is a bit like a drug. You hear people say not to do it, but once you do, you see all the benefits--then, after a few months of ruining your life, you realize why you shouldn't have done it in the first place. So, after some more less troublesome booze and/or counseling and support from everyone you care to be supported by, you stay clean, and away from crazy for awhile, and life is great.
But, you still remember. You remember the time you almost got arrested. You remember the time you did get arrested. You remember breaking into that public pool at three in the morning because she wanted to go swimming. You remember that night at the hotel, for that occasion. You remember sneaking onto the grounds of her old middle school at night, and playing on the old playground. You remember the fights, and the make up sex. And while you'll get in a fight in any relationship, there's a different kind of emotion behind it all. You start to gloss over the bad bits, and glorify the good bits. Maybe you even think the bad stuff was good, and soon enough, you go back, and you find some more crazy. Because you like it, you really do. It's wonderful stuff. Whole emotional ranges you never knew you had, whole sensations you never knew you could experience.
But, after a few runs, you develop some rules for yourself. It becomes like living in the slightly run down part of town--you wanna get by, you gotta be smart about it. Live your life normally, but don't go down dark streets alone. Don't take your wallet out where it can be lifted from you. Don't say stupid things, or make promises you can't keep, or extend yourself when you really don't want to. You gotta know how to handle the crazy.
Though, fairness to him, holes in the condoms mean bail. And bail as fast as you can. That isn't a "oh, well, we'll mop this up when we get to shore" kind of bail, or even a "quick, get a bucket" kind of bail. This is a "well, so much for that boat" kind of bail, the kind where you dive into the water and get as far from it as you can. Good luck, man. Sometimes, you get those. Best to just cut your losses, separate anything it was attached to, and put it the hell down.
But, you still remember. You remember the time you almost got arrested. You remember the time you did get arrested. You remember breaking into that public pool at three in the morning because she wanted to go swimming. You remember that night at the hotel, for that occasion. You remember sneaking onto the grounds of her old middle school at night, and playing on the old playground. You remember the fights, and the make up sex. And while you'll get in a fight in any relationship, there's a different kind of emotion behind it all. You start to gloss over the bad bits, and glorify the good bits. Maybe you even think the bad stuff was good, and soon enough, you go back, and you find some more crazy. Because you like it, you really do. It's wonderful stuff. Whole emotional ranges you never knew you had, whole sensations you never knew you could experience.
But, after a few runs, you develop some rules for yourself. It becomes like living in the slightly run down part of town--you wanna get by, you gotta be smart about it. Live your life normally, but don't go down dark streets alone. Don't take your wallet out where it can be lifted from you. Don't say stupid things, or make promises you can't keep, or extend yourself when you really don't want to. You gotta know how to handle the crazy.
Though, fairness to him, holes in the condoms mean bail. And bail as fast as you can. That isn't a "oh, well, we'll mop this up when we get to shore" kind of bail, or even a "quick, get a bucket" kind of bail. This is a "well, so much for that boat" kind of bail, the kind where you dive into the water and get as far from it as you can. Good luck, man. Sometimes, you get those. Best to just cut your losses, separate anything it was attached to, and put it the hell down.
CIABR, you're "lucky" that she did something as noticeable as poking holes in your condoms. I've known women who impregnate themselves with used condoms while nobody's looking. Much more stealthy. They just need to take the condom to the bathroom right after the fact then do it there.
So I would say, guys, use your own condoms and get rid of them yourself, if you want to be sure.
Anyways, sounds pretty harsh. Good luck with getting rid of her, maybe you can get a restraining order on her if she won't leave you alone?
So I would say, guys, use your own condoms and get rid of them yourself, if you want to be sure.
Anyways, sounds pretty harsh. Good luck with getting rid of her, maybe you can get a restraining order on her if she won't leave you alone?
Hahaha, the response to TLJ was just awesome! I love it.
Actually, both responses were really good. Keep it up!
Actually, both responses were really good. Keep it up!
It's not romantic when it's someone who you dumped because they were sabotaging birth control. That's actually an act of sexual assault in some jurisdictions.Donnyp said:I don't know about everyone else but saying "I touch myself at night thinking about you." can be pretty romantic lol.
So far i'm starting to like this stuff. I already had the basics down but seeing someone else reiterate what i already knew makes me happy lol.
It's not romantic when it's someone who you're trying to delete from your life, and the thought of them doing so is creepy.
It's never romantic when it's completely unwanted.
I like the way you talk. That heroin metaphor was appealing, straightforward and accurate. 11/10Dastardly said:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, I really like this column so far. I didn't expect advice on this emotional level, and it again disproves the idea of the foreveralone game geek.
hehe, thank you man, thats something that never crossed my mind when i was talking with that girl, Lara actually opened my eyes never imagined the "ITS A TRAP" line, i was expecting the part about not mingling in the relationship, but never seriously considered being thought of like some kind of "escape"Dastardly said:
@Lara Crigger THANK YOU SO MUCH, this was an eye opener, i´m going to stop this the next time she calls me, i have enough baggage in my back from my divorce to even consider adding a few more from that girl
Love Lovefaq... and now i want to change my nick to The Loneliest Jedi XD