Apple Fans Camp Out For iPhone That Doesn't Exist Yet

Steven Bogos

The Taco Man
Jan 17, 2013
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Apple Fans Camp Out For iPhone That Doesn't Exist Yet


Apple is set to announce a new version of the iPhone this week, but some eager fans are already waiting in line.

How big of an Apple fan are you? I'm guessing not as big as the four people who have been camping out for "the new iPhone" in front of Apple's iconic 5th Avenue store in New York since Friday, despite the fact that Apple hasn't actually announced a new iPhone. It looks like our consumerist society has reached a new low (or high?): people camping out for products that don't currently exist.

Apple will be giving a press conference later this week, in which it is widely expected to reveal the new "iPhone 5S," alongside the cheaper "iPhone 5C." Rumors suggest that the new phone may go on sale on September 20, almost two weeks from now. When first-in-line die-hards Joe and Brian were asked what they would do if the September 20 release date was true, they simply shrugged and said "we'll wait."

The other two line-waiters, Justin and John of Cincinnati's SellYourMac.com, appear to be there on some kind of promotional assignment, but are nonetheless still excited for Apple's unannounced new phone. The four line-waiters are equipped with knapsacks, tents, and supplies enough to last a few weeks. They are clearly serious about their iPhones.

All I could think about when I read this is that one Futurama episode with the "EyePhone," where Fry's famous "Shut up and take my money" line originated. These four fans are so desperate to give Apple their money, they are waiting for a product that Apple have yet to confirm even exists. I'm all for midnight launches, and being excited over being first in line for a new product, but can we all agree that this is getting just a tad out of hand?

Source: Apple Insider [http://appleinsider.com/articles/13/09/06/first-customers-already-in-line-for-new-iphones-apple-has-yet-to-announce]

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Teoes

Poof, poof, sparkles!
Jun 1, 2010
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Wow they'll join the famous ranks of all those other memorable people who've previously camped out to be the FIRST to buy this year's latest Apple thing.

If it were a revolutionary new product that'll change lives I could understand more.. but this is just this year's iteration of an existing luxury and there'll be something else next year. What's special about being able to say "I was first in line in 2013 for product X! No, you're thinking product W - that was released in 2012."
 

Diablo1099_v1legacy

Doom needs Yoghurt, Badly
Dec 12, 2009
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Desert Punk said:
Dear god these people are pathetic...

The US spends so much money on our military, we need to find a way to weaponize the stupidity that seems to be caused by Apple products.
You kidding!? It'd be like a Nuke that'd kill half the population of the earth!! DX

OT: If they are going to announce something, then it most likely won't be out for another few months.
They all going to stand in line until then?
 

Voulan

New member
Jul 18, 2011
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I'd love to challenge Apple to try going at least 3 years before creating a new iPhone. You know, when there will actually be technological advancements to actually make a new purchase worth it? I remember an ad for the iPhone 5 about how it can do panoramic photos as one of its biggest features, and in small print at the bottom of the screen it said "also works on the 4S".

I just... I can't.
 

UniversalRonin

New member
Nov 14, 2012
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Diablo1099 said:
Desert Punk said:
Dear god these people are pathetic...

The US spends so much money on our military, we need to find a way to weaponize the stupidity that seems to be caused by Apple products.
You kidding!? It'd be like a Nuke that'd kill half the population of the earth!! DX

OT: If they are going to announce something, then it most likely won't be out for another few months.
They all going to stand in line until then?
Yog-Sogoth I hope so. And I hope they eat expensive take away food, and get cold and wet and rained on, and find it really hard to find places to shower, or take a dump. And then, when they get to it, their cards are declined because they haven't been earning any money for months while queueing up.

Okay, maybe a tad harsh. But, well, the only time I have (in recent memory- I'm sure I will have done it more times than this.) waited excitedly for something and pre-ordered it on the first pre-order day was X-Com Enemy Unknown. And all that involved was clicking on a website and giggling. Still, everyone's gotta have a hobby right? And I guess if theirs is being first in queue-lines, then they're doing really well at it.
 

Diablo1099_v1legacy

Doom needs Yoghurt, Badly
Dec 12, 2009
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LordJedi86 said:
Yog-Sogoth I hope so. And I hope they eat expensive take away food, and get cold and wet and rained on, and find it really hard to find places to shower, or take a dump. And then, when they get to it, their cards are declined because they haven't been earning any money for months while queueing up.

Okay, maybe a tad harsh. But, well, the only time I have (in recent memory- I'm sure I will have done it more times than this.) waited excitedly for something and pre-ordered it on the first pre-order day was X-Com Enemy Unknown. And all that involved was clicking on a website and giggling. Still, everyone's gotta have a hobby right? And I guess if theirs is being first in queue-lines, then they're doing really well at it.
Hey, I was going to go to a midnight launch for GTAV before family matters pushed it back to getting it as Christmas.
Mother thought it'd look better for the little one if "Santa" brought it.

So I need to go 3 months without spoilers, yay. T_T
Family, huh?

Still, even then, I was going to queue up for something that actually fucking exists!
 

Smooth Operator

New member
Oct 5, 2010
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Oh Idiocracy how warm be thy embrace.
It would be cool if Apple just decides to postpone the announcement for months not telling anyone, I want to see these fuckers starve out there and start falling over.
 

UniversalRonin

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Nov 14, 2012
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Diablo1099 said:
Still, even then, I was going to queue up for something that actually fucking exists!
And that's the big difference here! All they're doing is joining a line weeks early for something that actually doesn't exist yet. I've got nothing against queuing up for releases. Good luck avoiding spoilers! (I guess the internet wont be your friend for a while!)
 

Diablo1099_v1legacy

Doom needs Yoghurt, Badly
Dec 12, 2009
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LordJedi86 said:
Diablo1099 said:
Still, even then, I was going to queue up for something that actually fucking exists!
And that's the big difference here! All they're doing is joining a line weeks early for something that actually doesn't exist yet. I've got nothing against queuing up for releases. Good luck avoiding spoilers! (I guess the internet wont be your friend for a while!)
Yeah, Thanks.
Fortunately, I only really go on the RP Forum anyway :p
 

KoudelkaMorgan

New member
Jul 31, 2009
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I do not believe in hell, but I do believe in purgatory. It is the self-imposed cycle of inexorable torment and all too brief joy that iphone faithful endure as they purchase the same damned phone every 10 months like some kind of cellphone Sisyphus. Eventually, after years of this state of being they can transcend their purgatory to...an Android or something.

I have a free non-smart cellphone that I barely use. I take it with me on hikes so I don't end up on the news as a cautionary tale, so forgive me if my silly metaphor is rough around the edges.

The only thing I would camp out like that for would be something that I was unlikely to get otherwise, and not be available EVERYWHERE in a few months. Like Florence + The Machine tickets, or a beta key for a holodeck prototype.
 

Doom972

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Dec 25, 2008
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So they are going to be there more than a week in advance? That raises so many uncomfortable questions I'm not sure I want answers for.

Sounds like attention seeking to me.
 

Sehnsucht Engel

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Apr 18, 2009
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Wow, I already considered people who buy Apple products fucking retarded, but this still manages to baffle me.
 

Morsomk_v1legacy

RUMBA RUMBA RUMBA RUMBA RUMBA
Jan 30, 2013
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Uhh huh, I can already foresee in a different dimension, the massive dissapointment that those people will have when Apple announces that there is not going to be a new iphone, but that is a different dimension and this is reality where they will announce a new iphone that is not in any shape or form that massively different from the last iphone.

God, you gotta love reality sometimes....
 

teqrevisited

New member
Mar 17, 2010
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I can't even begin to imagine what goes through the minds of these kinds of fanatics. If Apple told them that the world was cuboid they'd probably accept the idea and shun all of the non-believers, which wouldn't really be a bad thing: at least all of the idiocy would be in the same place.

Probably the most profitable cult in the world.
 

Jandau

Smug Platypus
Dec 19, 2008
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Did it occur to anyone that the people camping in line might not be Apple fans, but are rather hoping to sell the spots to actual Apple fans for stupid amounts of money?
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
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Apple should reveal the next iPhone in December. I would love to see them camping outside while freezing their asses off (and hopefully stay there for the next 3 months too).

Meh, I'll stick with ordering online when I want to mkake sure to get things. Camping outside is such an old fashioned idea. You'd think that people who camp outside to get a piece of technology would be aware of that possibility...