Captain America Movie Will Have Musical Numbers

Logan Westbrook

Transform, Roll Out, Etc
Feb 21, 2008
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Captain America Movie Will Have Musical Numbers



Ever wanted to see Captain America in a chorus line? No? You might want to avoid the upcoming movie then.

Remember that really awful part in Spiderman 3 [http://www.amazon.com/Spider-Man-3-Widescreen-Tobey-Maguire/dp/B000UR9T8C/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1280157396&sr=1-1] in the jazz club - yes, I'm asking a specific awful part of Spiderman 3 - where Peter Parker does a little dance to make Mary Jane jealous? Remember how gut-wrenchingly cringe worthy it was? Well expect even worse when Captain America hits theatres in 2011.

Speaking to the LA Times [http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/herocomplex/2010/02/captain-america-will-be-a-uso-performer-in-the-movie-director-says.html], director Joe Johnston said that Cap's distinctive costume presented them with some problems, but with some very creative thinking, they managed to solve them:

"The costume is a flag, but the way we're getting around that is we have Steve Rogers forced into the USO circuit. After he's made into this super-soldier, they decide they can't send him into combat and risk him getting killed. He's the only one and they can't make more. So they say, 'You're going to be in this USO show' and they give him a flag suit. He can't wait to get out of it... So he's up on stage doing songs and dances with chorus girls and he can't wait to get out and really fight."

"When he does go AWOL, he covers up the suit but then, after a few things happen, he realizes that this uniform allows him to lead. By then, he's become a star in the public mind and a symbol. The guys get behind him because he embodies something special," he continued.

If you're wondering why this doesn't seem to make sense, don't worry, it's because it doesn't. The X-Men movies proved that you can successfully change costumes and still win fans over, and Bryan Hitch and Mark Millar's Ultimates [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultimates] not only updated the character for the 21st century, but presented a number of variants on the uniform that would look fine on film. Captain America's costume is jingoistic on purpose, and making him into an entertainer is fixing a problem that never existed in the first place.

Source: via io9 [http://io9.com/5466083/captain-america-to-wield-shield-microphone-in-new-movie]


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elvor0

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Sep 8, 2008
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They should've just gone with the whole Stasis thing with the red skull, there problem solved. Either way Captain America is always going to be a bit cheesy, "Come on team, lets make this world safe for democracy!" Springs to mind.
 

Cherry Cola

Your daddy, your Rock'n'Rolla
Jun 26, 2009
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I can see the slogan before me!

"You've seen the life of a highschool student in musical numbers!

You've seen the life of a barber in musical numbers!

Now watch Americans fight communism in musical numbers!"
 

Fwee

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Sep 23, 2009
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Maybe instead of a shield he could beat up enemy soldiers with a purse.
 

Geamo

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Aug 27, 2008
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Wait, what the HELL.

They're making Cap, one of the best heroes of the Marvel Universe, into a song-and-dance USO guy?

Sigh...
 

Kuchinawa212

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Apr 23, 2009
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Is it going to be a big show number of the cap singing the star spangled banner while beating up red skull
 

teutonicman

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Mar 30, 2009
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Maybe if I wish hard enough it will turn out to be something like adam west's bat dance.
 

GodsAndFishes

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Mar 22, 2009
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If you had just said that it was a musical I'd be interested, but having the opening sentance talking about that part of spiderman 3 has ruined all hope for this film (mind you I didn't really care about the film before).
 

fix-the-spade

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Feb 25, 2008
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Question 1a: If we removed all the coke out of all the executives in all the film companies on the planet.
What percentage would:

i) Die as a result of withdrawal symptoms or toxic shock.

ii) Begin thinking about their decisions with due logic and care.

iii) Commit immediate suicide.
Answer must add up to 100%

Question 1b: What would the long term effect of such actions be on both the quality and profitability of mainstream western film industry output?

You have 45minutes to answer, all working and notes must be submitted at the end of the exam as supplementary evidence.
 

Ghonzor

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Jul 29, 2009
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BASTARDS!

How dare they ruin one of my favorite heroes?!

At least Iron Man was fucking awesome and Robert Downey Jr. is a perfect Stark...
 

Rhade

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Jan 2, 2010
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Korten12 said:
OH NO!!!! disney is finally starting to take action!
The sum of all fears, Captain Brothers-Jonas. Coming to theatres soon.

Dust off your bat for beating the tar out of Twilight fans, you might need to use it on High School Musical creatures if you go to see this movie. Depending on how the TV/online ads for it go.
 

El Poncho

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May 21, 2009
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I think who ever thought of this has a little grudge against the USA because this will provide so much ammunition for heckling.
 

Actual

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Jun 24, 2008
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I do detest Captain America, maybe this will finally kill the character off. *hopes and wishes*