4PM Review - Go Home, You're Drunk
Imagine if David Cage was ten times worse than he is. Welcome to 4PM.
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Imagine if David Cage was ten times worse than he is. Welcome to 4PM.
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4PM Review - Go Home, You're Drunk
- Thread starter Jimothy Sterling
- Start date
I think she actually calls her mother, not the other way around. But yeah, I saw your Squirty Play and it. is. awful. Terrible. You're a braver man than I, Mr Sterling. Especially seeing as I'm a woman. Er. I'll see myself out now.
So basically it's the kind of game David Cage would daydream about while having a wank? It's a weird nonsensical mess pushing towards the money shot of emoshun.
Credit where due, David Cage is really passionate about the shit he produces. He puts a lot of effort in it, pours his whole heart into his work. That it sucks is a mere matter of incompetence.
I didn't get that vibe here. 4PM isn't just incompetent. It's lazy. It knows damn well that it doesn't have anything to say, or much of any redeeming value. By that alone, I'm not sure the David Cage comparison is fair. Don't get me wrong, I thought BEYOND: Two Souls was awful, but I never felt like it was a quick cash grab the way I did about this.
P.S. Thanks
I didn't get that vibe here. 4PM isn't just incompetent. It's lazy. It knows damn well that it doesn't have anything to say, or much of any redeeming value. By that alone, I'm not sure the David Cage comparison is fair. Don't get me wrong, I thought BEYOND: Two Souls was awful, but I never felt like it was a quick cash grab the way I did about this.
P.S. Thanks
Is it wrong that I kinda want to try this now?
As someone who doesn't drink alcohol - is it in any way realistic? I get that it's unpleasant, but I'd imagine that that would be the case anyway if you were drunk enough to be vomiting on street corners, etc.
As someone who doesn't drink alcohol - is it in any way realistic? I get that it's unpleasant, but I'd imagine that that would be the case anyway if you were drunk enough to be vomiting on street corners, etc.
The drinking social events in gta 4/5 and Red Dead Redemption all accurately portrayed a night on the gargle very well.
Drinking is purely subjective. You can drink tons and not act like a total cock. Or drink one beer and try and fuck a horse. It's only a minority of drinkers who regularly behave that way.TheMadDoctorsCat said:
To be fair, it's not like game reviewers don't have a history of missing parts of the narrative when they was subtle. And it's not like you yourself have failed at it in the past, Jimmy.
isn't the lowest score on the Escapist a half-star?
Jim, are you saying there's something this game did correctly?
Jim, are you saying there's something this game did correctly?
Saw the Squirty Play this morning. It was... perplexing. Sometimes perplexing is good. This was not one of those times.
I'm glad Jim appears to be just as sick as I am of media (I won't just say games because it applies so so many other entertainment industries too) that is just as if not more cynical, trite, meaningless, and devoid of any actual passion for its art than even the dumbest, most disposable action vehicle, thinking it can get away with it by smearing on a thin veneer of class borrowed from far better sources. Worse, is when they actually succeed (See: 90% of the faux-thoughtful/artsy bullshit that's been nominated for the Best Picture Oscar in the last decade or so).
I'm glad Jim appears to be just as sick as I am of media (I won't just say games because it applies so so many other entertainment industries too) that is just as if not more cynical, trite, meaningless, and devoid of any actual passion for its art than even the dumbest, most disposable action vehicle, thinking it can get away with it by smearing on a thin veneer of class borrowed from far better sources. Worse, is when they actually succeed (See: 90% of the faux-thoughtful/artsy bullshit that's been nominated for the Best Picture Oscar in the last decade or so).
It basically wasn't so awful that I had to quit halfway through. That's generally what the Half Star is for.StraightToHeck said:
If this game was more than half hour long, it might have gone worse for it.
The narrative only games (if you can call them that) can only ever possibly work if you have a good narrative, and they are still going to niche, until actual gameplay becomes so offensive that we have no choice.
Also, even if it was a "great" story, I don't think this is typically Jim's type of game. I'm not criticizing at all, mind you. I'm like Jim, I prefer my games with a hearty helping of actual gameplay.
Also, even if it was a "great" story, I don't think this is typically Jim's type of game. I'm not criticizing at all, mind you. I'm like Jim, I prefer my games with a hearty helping of actual gameplay.
So its crowning achievement is being so short that the pain is over quickly. That's pretty fucking hilarious.Jimothy Sterling said:It basically wasn't so awful that I had to quit halfway through. That's generally what the Half Star is for.StraightToHeck said:
If this game was more than half hour long, it might have gone worse for it.
Anyhow, this game has served its purpose. It gave me the entertainment of this excellent review, which was completely free with no in-app purchases AND almost as long as the game it was reviewing!
Captcha: My sources say no. Yes. Yes they do.
I watched the Squirty Play of this game. The arm-flailing dancing animation was so hilariously bad it deserves to become a meme.
yeah, that's what I thought the only good thing was -- its mercifully short lengthJimothy Sterling said:It basically wasn't so awful that I had to quit halfway through. That's generally what the Half Star is for.StraightToHeck said:
If this game was more than half hour long, it might have gone worse for it.
anyway, always a joy to see you tear down a terrible, pretentious wad like this "game"
