4PM Review - Go Home, You're Drunk

Jimothy Sterling

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4PM Review - Go Home, You're Drunk

Imagine if David Cage was ten times worse than he is. Welcome to 4PM.

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trollnystan

I'm back, baby, & still dancing!
Dec 27, 2010
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I think she actually calls her mother, not the other way around. But yeah, I saw your Squirty Play and it. is. awful. Terrible. You're a braver man than I, Mr Sterling. Especially seeing as I'm a woman. Er. I'll see myself out now.
 

Clunks

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Apr 21, 2010
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Worth noting: this dude repeatedly has sex with this woman who he knows for a fact is too drunk to remember what is repeatedly happening to her. And he's angry at her for it. Yeah, I didn't care for this game much.
 

SnakeoilSage

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Sep 20, 2011
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So basically it's the kind of game David Cage would daydream about while having a wank? It's a weird nonsensical mess pushing towards the money shot of emoshun.
 

Covarr

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May 29, 2009
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Credit where due, David Cage is really passionate about the shit he produces. He puts a lot of effort in it, pours his whole heart into his work. That it sucks is a mere matter of incompetence.

I didn't get that vibe here. 4PM isn't just incompetent. It's lazy. It knows damn well that it doesn't have anything to say, or much of any redeeming value. By that alone, I'm not sure the David Cage comparison is fair. Don't get me wrong, I thought BEYOND: Two Souls was awful, but I never felt like it was a quick cash grab the way I did about this.

P.S. Thanks
 

DirgeNovak

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Jul 23, 2008
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That playthrough was... something.
I seriously can't believe Dtoid gave this piece of shit a 7.
 

TheMadDoctorsCat

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Is it wrong that I kinda want to try this now?

As someone who doesn't drink alcohol - is it in any way realistic? I get that it's unpleasant, but I'd imagine that that would be the case anyway if you were drunk enough to be vomiting on street corners, etc.
 

Lono Shrugged

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The drinking social events in gta 4/5 and Red Dead Redemption all accurately portrayed a night on the gargle very well.

TheMadDoctorsCat said:
Is it wrong that I kinda want to try this now?

As someone who doesn't drink alcohol - is it in any way realistic? I get that it's unpleasant, but I'd imagine that that would be the case anyway if you were drunk enough to be vomiting on street corners, etc.
Drinking is purely subjective. You can drink tons and not act like a total cock. Or drink one beer and try and fuck a horse. It's only a minority of drinkers who regularly behave that way.
 

Goliath100

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To be fair, it's not like game reviewers don't have a history of missing parts of the narrative when they was subtle. And it's not like you yourself have failed at it in the past, Jimmy.
 

StraightToHeck

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Oct 13, 2010
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isn't the lowest score on the Escapist a half-star?

Jim, are you saying there's something this game did correctly?
 

NinjaDeathSlap

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Feb 20, 2011
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Saw the Squirty Play this morning. It was... perplexing. Sometimes perplexing is good. This was not one of those times.

I'm glad Jim appears to be just as sick as I am of media (I won't just say games because it applies so so many other entertainment industries too) that is just as if not more cynical, trite, meaningless, and devoid of any actual passion for its art than even the dumbest, most disposable action vehicle, thinking it can get away with it by smearing on a thin veneer of class borrowed from far better sources. Worse, is when they actually succeed (See: 90% of the faux-thoughtful/artsy bullshit that's been nominated for the Best Picture Oscar in the last decade or so).
 

Jimothy Sterling

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StraightToHeck said:
isn't the lowest score on the Escapist a half-star?

Jim, are you saying there's something this game did correctly?
It basically wasn't so awful that I had to quit halfway through. That's generally what the Half Star is for.

If this game was more than half hour long, it might have gone worse for it. :)
 

Baresark

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The narrative only games (if you can call them that) can only ever possibly work if you have a good narrative, and they are still going to niche, until actual gameplay becomes so offensive that we have no choice.

Also, even if it was a "great" story, I don't think this is typically Jim's type of game. I'm not criticizing at all, mind you. I'm like Jim, I prefer my games with a hearty helping of actual gameplay.
 

Branindain

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Jimothy Sterling said:
StraightToHeck said:
isn't the lowest score on the Escapist a half-star?

Jim, are you saying there's something this game did correctly?
It basically wasn't so awful that I had to quit halfway through. That's generally what the Half Star is for.

If this game was more than half hour long, it might have gone worse for it. :)
So its crowning achievement is being so short that the pain is over quickly. That's pretty fucking hilarious.

Anyhow, this game has served its purpose. It gave me the entertainment of this excellent review, which was completely free with no in-app purchases AND almost as long as the game it was reviewing!

Captcha: My sources say no. Yes. Yes they do.
 

John Triton

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I watched the Squirty Play of this game. The arm-flailing dancing animation was so hilariously bad it deserves to become a meme.
 

StraightToHeck

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Oct 13, 2010
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Jimothy Sterling said:
StraightToHeck said:
isn't the lowest score on the Escapist a half-star?

Jim, are you saying there's something this game did correctly?
It basically wasn't so awful that I had to quit halfway through. That's generally what the Half Star is for.

If this game was more than half hour long, it might have gone worse for it. :)
yeah, that's what I thought the only good thing was -- its mercifully short length

anyway, always a joy to see you tear down a terrible, pretentious wad like this "game"
 

The Feast

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Just watch the Destructoid review of this game, in which, they gave the score a 7.0. That is WWWWAAAAYYYY too contradicting.
 

Elvis Starburst

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I watched your video on this yesterday. Oh god, why... How is this a thing? It really is ugly as hell. That dance animation was fun too. And by fun, I mean agonizing.
 

saxman234

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The Feast said:
Just watch the Destructoid review of this game, in which, they gave the score a 7.0. That is WWWWAAAAYYYY too contradicting.
If you watch Jim Serling's excellent Squirty play, you will see what this game deserves.
 

zvate

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Aug 12, 2010
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Loved the recommendation and since I've also seen the squirty play I must say I fully agree with it.
 

kasperbbs

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I did watch a short gameplay video of it recently, but i didn't realise that it was the whole game in there until i read Jim's review.. I regret wasting time on that video and i feel pity for anyone who had to actually play it.
 

Neurotic Void Melody

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The Feast said:
Just watch the Destructoid review of this game, in which, they gave the score a 7.0. That is WWWWAAAAYYYY too contradicting.
Jim must be pretty glad to not be part of that site anymore. Though i'm sure they could benefit from some quality education, upon his hypothetical return.

saxman234 said:
If you watch Jim Serling's excellent Squirty play
You're lucky i wasn't drinking milk, sir. Was not expecting such a sentence!

OT. I have in the past had to deal with personal alcoholism for various reasons...this game sounds more like it was written by someone who only knew alcoholics they dont like and definately dont understand;

1. You dont just not realise you dont have enough alcohol to get through work... you either get enough beforehand, drink slower or just deal with it.

2. You dont forget every night because you been drinking...in fact in my experience its mostly non-regular drinkers that get memory loss. I have only ever had it twice and that was really through dangerous levels of intake. You can forget some stuff but no more than the usual easily distracted human.

3. Alcoholism is usually due to some really personal issues. It sounds like the game doesnt know this...isnt interested and just wants to tell everyone that alcoholics are bad people. They should be exploring WHY this woman is an alcohlic!

If games want to do this...fallout did it best where you still had really important goals to accomplish yet the addiction is more a side interference. Though you do choose whether or not to get involved.
 

Slash2x

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Jimothy Sterling said:
StraightToHeck said:
isn't the lowest score on the Escapist a half-star?

Jim, are you saying there's something this game did correctly?
It basically wasn't so awful that I had to quit halfway through. That's generally what the Half Star is for.

If this game was more than half hour long, it might have gone worse for it. :)
HOLY SHIT BALLS!!! They made the game so short you were tricked into finishing it!?
Either the developer is a moron or a genius.