4PM Review - Go Home, You're Drunk

Jimothy Sterling

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Apr 18, 2011
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4PM Review - Go Home, You're Drunk

Imagine if David Cage was ten times worse than he is. Welcome to 4PM.

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trollnystan

I'm back, baby, & still dancing!
Dec 27, 2010
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I think she actually calls her mother, not the other way around. But yeah, I saw your Squirty Play and it. is. awful. Terrible. You're a braver man than I, Mr Sterling. Especially seeing as I'm a woman. Er. I'll see myself out now.
 

Clunks

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Apr 21, 2010
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Worth noting: this dude repeatedly has sex with this woman who he knows for a fact is too drunk to remember what is repeatedly happening to her. And he's angry at her for it. Yeah, I didn't care for this game much.
 

SnakeoilSage

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Sep 20, 2011
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So basically it's the kind of game David Cage would daydream about while having a wank? It's a weird nonsensical mess pushing towards the money shot of emoshun.
 

Covarr

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May 29, 2009
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Credit where due, David Cage is really passionate about the shit he produces. He puts a lot of effort in it, pours his whole heart into his work. That it sucks is a mere matter of incompetence.

I didn't get that vibe here. 4PM isn't just incompetent. It's lazy. It knows damn well that it doesn't have anything to say, or much of any redeeming value. By that alone, I'm not sure the David Cage comparison is fair. Don't get me wrong, I thought BEYOND: Two Souls was awful, but I never felt like it was a quick cash grab the way I did about this.

P.S. Thanks
 

DirgeNovak

I'm anticipating DmC. Flame me.
Jul 23, 2008
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That playthrough was... something.
I seriously can't believe Dtoid gave this piece of shit a 7.
 

TheMadDoctorsCat

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Apr 2, 2008
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Is it wrong that I kinda want to try this now?

As someone who doesn't drink alcohol - is it in any way realistic? I get that it's unpleasant, but I'd imagine that that would be the case anyway if you were drunk enough to be vomiting on street corners, etc.
 

Lono Shrugged

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May 7, 2009
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The drinking social events in gta 4/5 and Red Dead Redemption all accurately portrayed a night on the gargle very well.

TheMadDoctorsCat said:
Is it wrong that I kinda want to try this now?

As someone who doesn't drink alcohol - is it in any way realistic? I get that it's unpleasant, but I'd imagine that that would be the case anyway if you were drunk enough to be vomiting on street corners, etc.
Drinking is purely subjective. You can drink tons and not act like a total cock. Or drink one beer and try and fuck a horse. It's only a minority of drinkers who regularly behave that way.
 

Goliath100

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To be fair, it's not like game reviewers don't have a history of missing parts of the narrative when they was subtle. And it's not like you yourself have failed at it in the past, Jimmy.
 

StraightToHeck

Booby booby bum bum.
Oct 13, 2010
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isn't the lowest score on the Escapist a half-star?

Jim, are you saying there's something this game did correctly?
 

NinjaDeathSlap

Leaf on the wind
Feb 20, 2011
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Saw the Squirty Play this morning. It was... perplexing. Sometimes perplexing is good. This was not one of those times.

I'm glad Jim appears to be just as sick as I am of media (I won't just say games because it applies so so many other entertainment industries too) that is just as if not more cynical, trite, meaningless, and devoid of any actual passion for its art than even the dumbest, most disposable action vehicle, thinking it can get away with it by smearing on a thin veneer of class borrowed from far better sources. Worse, is when they actually succeed (See: 90% of the faux-thoughtful/artsy bullshit that's been nominated for the Best Picture Oscar in the last decade or so).
 

Jimothy Sterling

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StraightToHeck said:
isn't the lowest score on the Escapist a half-star?

Jim, are you saying there's something this game did correctly?
It basically wasn't so awful that I had to quit halfway through. That's generally what the Half Star is for.

If this game was more than half hour long, it might have gone worse for it. :)
 

Baresark

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Dec 19, 2010
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The narrative only games (if you can call them that) can only ever possibly work if you have a good narrative, and they are still going to niche, until actual gameplay becomes so offensive that we have no choice.

Also, even if it was a "great" story, I don't think this is typically Jim's type of game. I'm not criticizing at all, mind you. I'm like Jim, I prefer my games with a hearty helping of actual gameplay.
 

Branindain

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Jimothy Sterling said:
StraightToHeck said:
isn't the lowest score on the Escapist a half-star?

Jim, are you saying there's something this game did correctly?
It basically wasn't so awful that I had to quit halfway through. That's generally what the Half Star is for.

If this game was more than half hour long, it might have gone worse for it. :)
So its crowning achievement is being so short that the pain is over quickly. That's pretty fucking hilarious.

Anyhow, this game has served its purpose. It gave me the entertainment of this excellent review, which was completely free with no in-app purchases AND almost as long as the game it was reviewing!

Captcha: My sources say no. Yes. Yes they do.
 

John Triton

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Jul 12, 2014
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I watched the Squirty Play of this game. The arm-flailing dancing animation was so hilariously bad it deserves to become a meme.
 

StraightToHeck

Booby booby bum bum.
Oct 13, 2010
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Jimothy Sterling said:
StraightToHeck said:
isn't the lowest score on the Escapist a half-star?

Jim, are you saying there's something this game did correctly?
It basically wasn't so awful that I had to quit halfway through. That's generally what the Half Star is for.

If this game was more than half hour long, it might have gone worse for it. :)
yeah, that's what I thought the only good thing was -- its mercifully short length

anyway, always a joy to see you tear down a terrible, pretentious wad like this "game"
 

The Feast

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Apr 5, 2013
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Just watch the Destructoid review of this game, in which, they gave the score a 7.0. That is WWWWAAAAYYYY too contradicting.