50 shades of grey

[solemnwar]

I've flipped through it and find it incredibly un-erotic. I find romance novels with "soft" sex scenes to be more enticing than those books. Bleh.

Plus the writing is utter shit. That probably doesn't help matters.

 

[Comic Sans]

Does this mean I can read Penthouse in public without getting odd looks?

 

[Spambot 3000]

I've actually never heard any women talk about 50 shades of Grey. Except on the Internet. Oh well, maybe once, but they were talking about how ridiculous it is.
Personally, based on others experiences, I think it's odd that someone would openly discuss porn. Like, you know, sittin'-round-the-dinner-table openly. Calling it 'mummy porn' is kinda weird, too. It's putting a cutesy word before a ... not-so cutesy word. It creeps me out like the term 'kitten bondage' would also.

Why would someone want to read a book about the Mythical Mummies having sexual relations? It is like Rule 34 gone terribly wrong...

As funny as that was, I have to disagree on two things:
1. Hell, if it was about the ancient decaying corpses wrapped up in bandages kinda mummies porn - I'd read the shit outta that.
2. Rule 34 can't go terribly wrong. It already is. (still awesome though)

 

[Micromyni]

It's a shitty "erotic" romance novel. They're a dime a dozen,and for me the only thing that was particularly rage-inducing was the abuse disguised as BDSM. The person who wrote this trash has apparently never done any form of bondage or seen it outside porn.

QUOTES FROM THE BOOK TIEM! ?His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave, ?Are you ready for this?? he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three legged young.?

 

[Tinkotin]

Wasn't 50 shades of grey originally a twillight porn fanfic, and they just changed some names around and re-released it as a porn story?

 

[Hawkolf]

Didn't see it, so I'm going to once again post a link to Jennifer Armintrout's delicious evisceration of Fifty Shades of Grey [http://jenniferarmintrout.blogspot.ca/p/jen-reads-50-shades-of-grey.html]. It's amazing watching a published romance novelist tear into this book, as she has a far better base to understand the tropes in play than someone who doesn't read romance novels. She's starting on the second one now. I am grateful, yet I pity her.

This is pure comedy! Thank you for linking this.

I'm really interested how the translations will turn out. I can just imagine how bad expressions of this book will be in Finnish...

Wasn't 50 shades of grey originally a twillight porn fanfic, and they just changed some names around and re-released it as a porn story?

Yup. And if I've understood, it was considered to bad it was laughed of fan fiction sites. And now it's a best seller. It's a strange strange strange world we live in.

 

[wintercoat]

It's a shitty "erotic" romance novel. They're a dime a dozen,and for me the only thing that was particularly rage-inducing was the abuse disguised as BDSM. The person who wrote this trash has apparently never done any form of bondage or seen it outside porn.

QUOTES FROM THE BOOK TIEM! ?His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave, ?Are you ready for this?? he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three legged young.?

You...you cannot be serious...That's actually in the book? What...fuck...I...wrtbnsfgsswrotbnqfbAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *huffhuff* Sunofabitch that's bad. That's like...the fuck man?! Seriously, what...the fuck?! Can we just, like, glass the planet? Clearly there is a disease on this Earth that we cannot morally allow the chance to escape.

 

[Nantucket_v1legacy]

Woah woah woah woah!
Slow down... so this book is actually Twilight Fanfiction? Genuinely? That just feels so... dirty.

 

[Micromyni]

It's a shitty "erotic" romance novel. They're a dime a dozen,and for me the only thing that was particularly rage-inducing was the abuse disguised as BDSM. The person who wrote this trash has apparently never done any form of bondage or seen it outside porn.

QUOTES FROM THE BOOK TIEM! ?His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave, ?Are you ready for this?? he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three legged young.?

You...you cannot be serious...That's actually in the book? What...fuck...I...wrtbnsfgsswrotbnqfbAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *huffhuff* Sunofabitch that's bad. That's like...the fuck man?! Seriously, what...the fuck?! Can we just, like, glass the planet? Clearly there is a disease on this Earth that we cannot morally allow the chance to escape.

I happen to own a copy of this abomination that was foisted on to me, and I have a shit-ton of quotes highlighted. That quote was custom-picked for maximum rage factor. Do you like it?

 

[Jaeke]

Fifty Shades of Grey, you say? I've practically become a collector of videos doing parody readings of it.




..

HOLY SHIT I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!!!

That is now my favorite video on youtube!

Thank you sir for sharing this.

 

[Luna]

I think this whole thing stems from many women feeling as if watching porn makes them whorish, due to religious and social reasons. Due to the fact that this book is indeed a text with a plot, women read this and convince themselves that what they are doing is expanding their mind, learning and being exposed to viewpoints and art, you know, what the posters in libraries say. Its like an alternative to porn that they don't think of as porn.



It will be interesting if the rumors of a movie are true. I think this will bring the story one step closer to simply porn as men know it. It will be interesting to see what happens.

 

[SkellgrimOrDave]

Fifty shades of grey is mills and boone prose, a writing genre that is formulaeic and generic, but popular as banal erotic fiction. Think Chandler's mum's writing style in friends.

Fifty shades of grey just thinks it is edgy because it contains light bondage.

On a side note, I got shouted at by putting a "CAUTION : WET FLOOR" Sign next to a stand of the books in an ASDA (English Wal-mart, owned by Wal-mart).

I was very happy that day.

 

[wintercoat]

It's a shitty "erotic" romance novel. They're a dime a dozen,and for me the only thing that was particularly rage-inducing was the abuse disguised as BDSM. The person who wrote this trash has apparently never done any form of bondage or seen it outside porn.

QUOTES FROM THE BOOK TIEM! ?His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave, ?Are you ready for this?? he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three legged young.?

You...you cannot be serious...That's actually in the book? What...fuck...I...wrtbnsfgsswrotbnqfbAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *huffhuff* Sunofabitch that's bad. That's like...the fuck man?! Seriously, what...the fuck?! Can we just, like, glass the planet? Clearly there is a disease on this Earth that we cannot morally allow the chance to escape.

I happen to own a copy of this abomination that was foisted on to me, and I have a shit-ton of quotes highlighted. That quote was custom-picked for maximum rage factor. Do you like it?

You...you have no idea. Now, I won't purport to being a fan of trashy novels like this, but I have been known to read them from time to time, as they're usually kinda entertaining. But I have never read something so...god damn, I swear I lost a few IQ points reading that.

 

[Micromyni]

Fifty shades of grey is mills and boone prose, a writing genre that is formulaeic and generic, but popular as banal erotic fiction. Think Chandler's mum's writing style in friends.

Fifty shades of grey just thinks it is edgy because it contains light bondage.

On a side note, I got shouted at by putting a "CAUTION : WET FLOOR" Sign next to a stand of the books in an ASDA (English Wal-mart, owned by Wal-mart).

I was very happy that day.

Were you the one who put this here, by any chance?

Spoiler: Props, by the way.

 

[markisb]

the radio station i listen to occasionally reads some out on air. it sounds horrible. i get better stuff on my phone.

 

[Micromyni]

You...you have no idea. Now, I won't purport to being a fan of trashy novels like this, but I have been known to read them from time to time, as they're usually kinda entertaining. But I have never read something so...god damn, I swear I lost a few IQ points reading that.

Here's MORE quotes.

"The muscles in the deepest, darkest part of me clench in the most delicious fashion."
Hint: her "DARKEST PART OF HER" is her vagina.

(while sucking a dick) "My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves."
This kind of makes fun of itself.

"His expression pulls at that dark part of me, buried in the depths of my belly - my libido, woken and tamed by him, but even now, insatiable."
SO MANY COMMAS. And there's that weird-ass metaphor for "my vagina" again.

 

[SkellgrimOrDave]

Fifty shades of grey is mills and boone prose, a writing genre that is formulaeic and generic, but popular as banal erotic fiction. Think Chandler's mum's writing style in friends.

Fifty shades of grey just thinks it is edgy because it contains light bondage.

On a side note, I got shouted at by putting a "CAUTION : WET FLOOR" Sign next to a stand of the books in an ASDA (English Wal-mart, owned by Wal-mart).

I was very happy that day.

Were you the one who put this here, by any chance?

Spoiler: Props, by the way.

No, but I wish I had done!

 

[Nerexor]

It's a shitty "erotic" romance novel. They're a dime a dozen,and for me the only thing that was particularly rage-inducing was the abuse disguised as BDSM. The person who wrote this trash has apparently never done any form of bondage or seen it outside porn.

QUOTES FROM THE BOOK TIEM! ?His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave, ?Are you ready for this?? he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three legged young.?

That has to be the most hilariously unsexy image that can ever be associated with a sex scene, ever. I mean it's impossible to top that for lack of sex appeal. Fuzzy animals eating their disabled children. Fuzzy animals acting in a horrifying manner? Check. An image that when you think about is probably pretty gory? Check. BABY EATING? Check. Congratulations E.L. James, you have unlocked the UNSEXY COMBO ATTACK.

Seriously girls, you ever want a guy to go from aroused to horrified, tell him to smirk at you like a mother hamster about to eat her three legged young. And if he stays up? Run. Run fast. Because he's a psychopath.