90s Video Condemns Ninja Turtles' Heathen Ways

Saltyk

Sane among the insane.
Sep 12, 2010
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Did I miss the episode when the turtles pulled out Lightsabers to battle Shredder as he summoned lightning and demons from the pits of Hell? Because that sounds pretty awesome.

Really, what else is there to say? These guys are/were nuts. Watching this video makes me hope they grew up. Yeah, a kid that watched the shows they were complaining about thinks they were acting like children on that video.
 

Sabrestar

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Apr 13, 2010
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Ah, the Satanic Panic. What an awful time that was.

Times like this I imagine Jesus watching down from Heaven and facepalming, muttering "That's not what I said! That's not what I meant!"
 

Kenjitsuka

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Sep 10, 2009
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Bwahahaha, that is a funny video!
Too bad people like these have become more radicalized and still rant on today about science being evil etc. :\
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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RandallJohn said:
Uch, why is it you always hear about the nutjob Christians and not the cool ones?
Same reason you don't hear about the people that haven't been killed in a war or the women Herman Cain hasn't slept with.

DVS BSTrD said:
I'm actually watching a show hosted by a pretty cool christian right now.
The crazy thing about him is he has a magic gun. Where'd he purchase that?
Oh, come now. Linkara's into comics. How can you accuse him of being cool?

Also, he uses all sorts of magic. Weren't you paying attention? MAGIC IS OF THE DEVIL!

Hell, he worships the Power Rangers. Totemic Shamanism if I ever saw it!

Torrasque said:
I thought that was one of the main tenants of Christianity: don't make a big deal about your faith since it is your faith.
Someone really needs to tell Tim Tebow.
 

SurfKansas

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Nov 25, 2008
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A Michael Jackson chocolate bar...

Well, we can figure out the date of the video by whether or not the chocolate bar used dark chocolate or white chocolate.
 

K_Dub

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Oct 19, 2008
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Talk about talking out your ass. I don't think any of them did even a little bit of research.
 

TitanAtlas

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Oct 14, 2010
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"Biker Mice from mars" made me a satanic mass murderer, that rides a epic bike that can climb buildings!!
 

Kraj

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Jan 21, 2008
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Why do we even post about things like this anymore? I have to be curious, no amount of discontent on an internet forum which these people aren't going to see will change a dogmatic point of view, regardless of what that point of view is.
Yes, dogmatic people are pitiful, and obviously have some issues...
Isn't this a bit of a waste by now? I think more publicity is gained for these people from the threads against them than they could ever afford to have on their own steam.

tl/dr [old pointless thread repeat is old, i want new threadcandy!]
 

GonzoGamer

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Apr 9, 2008
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So what were these guys compelled to do with the TMNT meat stick that seemed so unholy?

It's funny, I was watching the old TMNT movie (sponge suit v1) and suddenly had the urge to build a shrine to Kali.

I'm convinced that if there was no such thing as religion, d-bags like this would still go around drowning puppies and shitting in birthday cakes.
 

Ithera

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Apr 4, 2010
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That was great! Where do I subscribe? These words are good, to long have the demonic forces of greed and occultism perverted our sacrosanct existence!


 

Elementary - Dear Watson

RIP Eleuthera, I will miss you
Nov 9, 2010
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That is superb! It's a shame we didn't have youtube and broadband back then, videos like these would have been funny... Although you do get hundreds of videos like this every day on there, but with less embarrasing clothes and hair, so it probably would get lost, or drowned in negative comments by now!
 

Mauso88

A Simply Dignified Manly Man.
Feb 3, 2011
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The bible has more dangerous stories to tell to your children, not cartoons that were ostensibly episodic toy advertisements.
Loving the panpipes and misty lens though.
 

Dreadjaws

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Nov 29, 2011
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Wow, from all the 90's cartoons nutjobs could have chosen to pick on and accuse of satanism they chose the TMNT? Really? I'm speechless. These kind of people give religion a bad name. They remind me of the church my aunts used to go to. They wouldn't let their children watch any cartoons, saying nonsense like "Batman's ears are the horns of the devil" and such. I'm so glad we could pull them out of that insane place.
 

Phuctifyno

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Jul 6, 2010
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Well they're right about one thing, accidentally: it was silly of the cartoon to portray ninjas as heroes... not because it's harmful to the children, just because the TMNT are way more awesome when viewed as amoral assassins and honor-bound servants of Splinter. Of course, the source material comics understood that - before the toy line and color-coded bandanas.

"IT'S VIOLENCE TIME!!!"
- Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, volume 1, issue 15)
 

Formica Archonis

Anonymous Source
Nov 13, 2009
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I'd love to make insightful commentary but the succubus I summoned just got into the bright yellow jumpsuit and white bo... back in an hour, or something.
 

Sabrestar

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Apr 13, 2010
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Zachary Amaranth said:
Sabrestar said:
Ah, the Satanic Panic. What an awful time that was.
Was? When did it stop happening?
It hasn't, regrettably. The names and targets may change, but the battle is still being fought. And now it's all over the world.