A "Frank" Discussion

[Snugglebunny]

Is it really more insulting to lower ones standards just to fufill some cultural goal?
-More insulting than what? And its not some 'cultural goal' (most) PRETTY BOYS LIKE SEX WITH PRETTY GIRLS, and vice versa. Nothing too cultural about that.

Is accepting that one may simply be out of league in regards to something like "mates", simply based on personal observation ood, or wrong even?
-Yes. Don't feel to bad about it. And don't say 'mates', what is this, the Discovery Channel. And what is ood?

Is basing ones interaction's with the opposite sex based on said observations stupid, odd, or even wrong?
-Yes, its stupid. You shouldn't approach every girl you meet with a checklist and a 'yes' or 'no' stamp. And before you go looking for an acceptable 'mate' you need to be willing to change yourself too meet some other girls standards before you expect them to meet yours.

Its supposed to be "odd". Its a typo.


As for a checklist and a stamp - why shouldn't I, if I'm going to try at all, approach something as large and as serious as relationships with a checklist and a stamp? (Assuming of course, we're talking about potenially serious relationships, not just friendships.)

Yes, but if you want someone to match a checklist for you, why not just build a robot? Seriously, you can't quatify or build a person to love! If you wait around looking for this one perfect person to come waltzing in, your always going to be disappointed. People are spontaneous, broken and imperfect and thats what makes love so much fund, there are no perfect people.

You have to approach girls with the idea that they could be the person that you're going to love for the rest of your life, and not if they meet your stupid criteria!

 

[roboosh]

Well I think the same way as you. Except I talk to girls lots, but never get anywhere.

 

[Paragon Fury]

Is it really more insulting to lower ones standards just to fufill some cultural goal?
-More insulting than what? And its not some 'cultural goal' (most) PRETTY BOYS LIKE SEX WITH PRETTY GIRLS, and vice versa. Nothing too cultural about that.

Is accepting that one may simply be out of league in regards to something like "mates", simply based on personal observation ood, or wrong even?
-Yes. Don't feel to bad about it. And don't say 'mates', what is this, the Discovery Channel. And what is ood?

Is basing ones interaction's with the opposite sex based on said observations stupid, odd, or even wrong?
-Yes, its stupid. You shouldn't approach every girl you meet with a checklist and a 'yes' or 'no' stamp. And before you go looking for an acceptable 'mate' you need to be willing to change yourself too meet some other girls standards before you expect them to meet yours.

Its supposed to be "odd". Its a typo.


As for a checklist and a stamp - why shouldn't I, if I'm going to try at all, approach something as large and as serious as relationships with a checklist and a stamp? (Assuming of course, we're talking about potenially serious relationships, not just friendships.)

Yes, but if you want someone to match a checklist for you, why not just build a robot? Seriously, you can't quatify or build a person to love! If you wait around looking for this one perfect person to come waltzing in, your always going to be disappointed. People are spontaneous, broken and imperfect and thats what makes love so much fund, there are no perfect people.

You have to approach girls with the idea that they could be the person that you're going to love for the rest of your life, and not if they meet your stupid criteria!

Build a robot you say?

Hmm........I might have to leave the US for this one.

 

[WeedWorm]

Worst they can say is no, right?"

No, fucking hell no. They can say a lot worse things if they really want to.

So you're shy yeah? Stop being so shy.

Why dont you try not being yourself for a day? See how easy that is.

 

[Paragon Fury]

Worst they can say is no, right?"

No, fucking hell no. They can say a lot worse things if they really want to.

I'm sorry, but I just had a comedic parade of things that could go on run through my head.

Now I have to figure out where she hid the grenade.

 

[Paragon Fury]

SNEEEEEEEEP!

...

How dare you entice me to this thread and have no content on the topic of Frankfurters and their processing.

Eh?

 

[Guitar Gamer]

if you don't go out of your way to not talk to the opposite geeeeendeeeer! ooooouuyyhhhooooo! then sure bring a stamp and a checklist for a relationship but sure as hell don't bring it out when ever the opposite geeeeendeeeer! ooooouuyyhhhooooo! talks to you, I never go out of my way to talk to them or vice versa because A) their obviosly not interested, I know because the just finnished making out with a dude a quarter of their age older than them
B)they never interest me relationship wise
C) people around here are pretty open so there's not much to find out so you can know alot about a person without meeting them soooo
why bother going out of my way for something that doesn't interest me that is relationships not the opposite geeeeendeeeer! ooooouuyyhhhooooo! in general

 

[Screens]

Having high standards is good to a point. You should be reasonable, though.

To me, lowering my standards for something is like admitting defeat. It's like admitting to yourself that you aren't as good as you thought, and therefore, is usually accompanied by a slight drop in self esteem. That said, if you don't care, then lowering standards doesn't hurt anyone.

Then again, having "standards" for people of the opposite sex is idealistic. I think idealists should go die in a fire for their incessant optimism. Hardly ever will you meet someone if you have a mental checklist with "standards".

 

[BonsaiK]

"Unattainable" girls aren't. Period.

Remember that a lot of "unattainable" girls actually have a really hard time finding guys. Why? Because guys are too scared to approach them, they're intimidated by what they perceive as someone "out of their league". The only ones who have the balls to go up to them are the really cocky overconfident guys, and they're few and far between (and mostly wankers). That's why a lot of models and actresses have a hard time maintaining good relationships, always seem to flit from one partner to the next and spend a lot of time single. I've had a few relationships where people have gone "whoa, she's like way out of your league, how the hell did you hook up with her?" and the answer is that I went up to her and talked to her, just like I would any other human being, and we found things in common and hit it off. And everyone else was too scared to do the same, so they just watched me do it.

Oh and Relationship Problem Thread ahem cough. But then I guess you're not technically having a "problem" so I'll forgive you.

 

[IronDuke]

Are you certain you haven't set your standards too high so that you won't have to deal with possible rejection/unfamiliar social situations/perhaps you dont even like girls? EDIT:whoops, abit drunk here I skipped the bit where you said stuff about this, my bad....

I think if you can't make conversation with girls for the sake of being friendly without the motivation of a sexual relationship, or choose not to, you probably won't make much of an impression on a girl you find you actually like. There is no reason why you should stop talking to girls just because you don't want to become romanticly involved with them. If you keep doing this you won't end up very good in conversation with one you actually like.

I wouldn't consider lowering your standards a bad thing, you will still have fun with a girl who isn't perfect, and maybe you will find you can be very happy with girls that you wouldn't have considered before.

 

[Zacharine]

I'm kind of like you... the reason I don't talk to girls is because every relationship I've had has done considerable emotional damage. Nowadays I don't think its worth the risk and prefer to be alone.
I think you should stick to your standards but maybe try talking to some girls. There's no reason why you can't have female friends.

On these matters a line from a song has served me quite well. Here's the line, translated.

A bullet-proof heart is yet to be inveted./Don't be afraid of a shot/for loneliness will carve an equal hole.

Essentially: risk nothing, gain nothing and looking at the final result you can only win.

 

[manicfoot]

I'm kind of like you... the reason I don't talk to girls is because every relationship I've had has done considerable emotional damage. Nowadays I don't think its worth the risk and prefer to be alone.
I think you should stick to your standards but maybe try talking to some girls. There's no reason why you can't have female friends.

On these matters a line from a song has served me quite well. Here's the line, translated.

A bullet-proof heart is yet to be inveted./Don't be afraid of a shot/for loneliness will carve an equal hole.

Essentially: risk nothing, gain nothing and looking at the final result you can only win.

Those are pretty good lyrics and I appreciate the sentiment but they really don't apply to my feelings on this. People tend to think that if you're alone you must be unhappy which is a big presumption. I'm honestly fine with it. I don't cry myself to sleep just wishing someone would love me or anything like that. I don't feel lonely either which invalidates the 'equal hole' bit.

 

[Zacharine]

Those are pretty good lyrics and I appreciate the sentiment but they really don't apply to my feelings on this. People tend to think that if you're alone you must be unhappy which is a big presumption. I'm honestly fine with it. I don't cry myself to sleep just wishing someone would love me or anything like that. I don't feel lonely either which invalidates the 'equal hole' bit.

Oh I know there are differing viewpoints and that others can find happiness without a significant other. like I said, those words have served me well.

 

[Easykill]

Tell me, why is chasing girls such a big fucking thing in our culture anyway? It seems so pointless. Besides, all this talk about standards and whatnot, there should only really be one: whether you like her or not. Even if you can't fuck her, you can probably still be near her. Or is sex really all that matters to you guys? It's so goddamn annoying.

 

[ben---neb]

Whar 'high standards' are we talking about?

If it is in terms of physical attractiveness then I see no problem in calling you a shallow, hypocritical scumbag. If not, keep them.

Oh and if you ever get to the age of sixty and you're still not speaking to girls I'd recommend lowering standards.

 

[Lunatic_Monk]

Frank Castle

 

[munkyforce]

I think the problem with having high standards is that it can reinforce your insecurities. The longer it is between relationships the harder it is to get into a new one. Just remember that a relationship doesn't have to be 'forever and always'. A one night stand with a girlgoyle can be a reminder that 'hey at least someone thinks I've something going for me' even if said girlgoyle is not relationship material. A little bit of confidence can go a long way.

 

[Paragon Fury]

Tell me, why is chasing girls such a big fucking thing in our culture anyway? .

Probably because the drive to find a mate is a pretty big biological imparitive?

 

[sallene]

Think of it this way, having high standards means you wont simply settle to screw whoever which means you wont run the risk of gettin said person pregant.

If anyone asks you the question agian simply say your are abstaining from sex to not make the mistake of procreating and thus ruin not only your life but the life of the new human being you made.

 

[Easykill]

Tell me, why is chasing girls such a big fucking thing in our culture anyway? .

Probably because the drive to find a mate is a pretty big biological imparitive?

Screw biological imperatives. It just disappoints me that society has not yet overruled this like it has other barbaric instincts.