And... when are you 100% sure that you're NOT 100% sure?BloatedGuppy said:
Sorry, couldn't resist. I'm putting together a cheese sandwich anyway. Could use a few thick potato slices.
A Question for Any Straight Girls...
- Thread starter Arnoxthe1
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Sorry, couldn't resist. I'm putting together a cheese sandwich anyway. Could use a few thick potato slices.
When I go to work I leave my libido at home. It's got no place in the office. I'm willing to bet the majority of others are the same.
The thing is, that's not even flirting; that's being a grade-A double-douchebag.BloatedGuppy said:
Despite all the ^pic related in this thread, I'm sure that I once read that the workplace is the second most common place to start a relationship.
Don't get me wrong, I can easily imagine that unwanted attention is even worse than usual for women in the workplace as there's the added boss-subordinate or customer-employee dynamic at play. Somebody who takes advantage of a situation where an uninterested woman is less able to say no is being a bit of a cad, to be honest.
Straight female here. Although this applies to everyone; women who flirt at work are just as guilty as men. Sexual orientation and gender aside:
Definitely do not do that. You can get fired. It can be very uncomfortable for the other person and for you if you're rejected. You can't really avoid the other person. If you aren't rejected, it can cause problems for you and the other person down the line professionally and personally.
You can invite co-workers to do things out side of work; that's fine, but do not ask for a date or anything. Inviting a co-worker to an activity with a group of people is acceptable. Even then, I still would not make advances in that situation. Beyond that, I don't have a lot of advice. I got invited to a "secret date" once from a fellow student who worked with me on a lot of extra-curricular stuff (not a job, but still the same issue where we couldn't avoid each other afterward). It was extremely uncomfortable; I wasn't told it was going to be just us. He was dressed like it was a date.
Putting the initial approach aside, I would be very hesitant to date anyone I worked with. I actually didn't date a couple of guys that I otherwise would have for this reason. No reason to make the work environment uncomfortable or hostile if things don't work out.
Definitely do not do that. You can get fired. It can be very uncomfortable for the other person and for you if you're rejected. You can't really avoid the other person. If you aren't rejected, it can cause problems for you and the other person down the line professionally and personally.
You can invite co-workers to do things out side of work; that's fine, but do not ask for a date or anything. Inviting a co-worker to an activity with a group of people is acceptable. Even then, I still would not make advances in that situation. Beyond that, I don't have a lot of advice. I got invited to a "secret date" once from a fellow student who worked with me on a lot of extra-curricular stuff (not a job, but still the same issue where we couldn't avoid each other afterward). It was extremely uncomfortable; I wasn't told it was going to be just us. He was dressed like it was a date.
Putting the initial approach aside, I would be very hesitant to date anyone I worked with. I actually didn't date a couple of guys that I otherwise would have for this reason. No reason to make the work environment uncomfortable or hostile if things don't work out.
Not being a girl, as many other people have said, I can't say it's a good idea. If you want to talk to someone in that setting, do it outside of work.
Even if you're both fine with it, your boss overhearing it won't end well in most cases.
Even if you're both fine with it, your boss overhearing it won't end well in most cases.
Jeez, this thread is nearly completely filled with buzzkills. While dating a co-worker is certainly a dumb thing to do (from personal experience), it's unrealistic to expect single 20-somethings to not flirt on occasion, no matter their location.
Even doing it on the clock isn't necessarily a problem depending on the job. And that's the key point, I think: location and context are important. If your work is very serious or your boss is a hardass, then the other party might be too stressed to reciprocate even if they wanted to. Everywhere I've worked, however, has been laidback enough that co-workers dating (let alone flirting) has ALWAYS been a common occurrence.
tl;dr: Try to make sure she (or he) is expressing interest first, lest you potentially open a large can of worms that could even cost you your job in some work climates. Hell, it might still cost you your job after you inevitably have an awkward break up.
Even doing it on the clock isn't necessarily a problem depending on the job. And that's the key point, I think: location and context are important. If your work is very serious or your boss is a hardass, then the other party might be too stressed to reciprocate even if they wanted to. Everywhere I've worked, however, has been laidback enough that co-workers dating (let alone flirting) has ALWAYS been a common occurrence.
tl;dr: Try to make sure she (or he) is expressing interest first, lest you potentially open a large can of worms that could even cost you your job in some work climates. Hell, it might still cost you your job after you inevitably have an awkward break up.
For me I'm not keen on it at work personally, I'm trying to be professional. If you want to ask me out quickly for a coffee after I'm done working I can respect that massively and will likely take you up if I like the idea and it's a good day for me to do so (some days I have things to be doing sorry)
That way you've not wasted much of my work time and you accomplished what you wanted which is a foot in the so called door.
But then I'm not one for frivolous flirting, no beating around the bush, say you like how I look and do I fancy getting to know you over a coffee/drink. A yes or no will follow.
That way you've not wasted much of my work time and you accomplished what you wanted which is a foot in the so called door.
But then I'm not one for frivolous flirting, no beating around the bush, say you like how I look and do I fancy getting to know you over a coffee/drink. A yes or no will follow.
Straight black male. Because spice is the variety of life.
I hate it. I really do. As I've said many times before, I'm a personal trainer now. Male Personal Trainers are already thought of as Himbos. I can't tell you how many trainers I've seen lose simple business because he was caught flirting/dating/or just doing the physical act with one of his clients. He's going to get fired in a short amount of time, but that's simply because no husband (Civilian Personal Trainers normally have heavy women-centric client load) is going to want his wife to train with that person again.
You're messing with my money, and I really don't ever want to date a woman that goes to a place I frequent habitually. If it doesn't work out... what, I'm supposed to lose out on feeling comfortable at a place because we're still going to run into each other there?
I hate it. I really do. As I've said many times before, I'm a personal trainer now. Male Personal Trainers are already thought of as Himbos. I can't tell you how many trainers I've seen lose simple business because he was caught flirting/dating/or just doing the physical act with one of his clients. He's going to get fired in a short amount of time, but that's simply because no husband (Civilian Personal Trainers normally have heavy women-centric client load) is going to want his wife to train with that person again.
You're messing with my money, and I really don't ever want to date a woman that goes to a place I frequent habitually. If it doesn't work out... what, I'm supposed to lose out on feeling comfortable at a place because we're still going to run into each other there?
Flirting on the clock is a massive can of worms, mostly because it can lead being reported to HR for sexual harassment accusations. Even in a chill workspace it's pretty awkward. You might get away with during break, but not during work time.chadachada123 said:
There are all kinds of issues with that sort of stuff. And I mean... generally anyone is more likely to be ok with a person flirting with them if they find them attractive, but when you're at work, well you're doing a job.
I know women who work in customer service and men often flirt with them, and they can't just reject them (or even flirt back) the same way they could off work. They need to smile and be nice and polite, and some men take them smiling to them as encouragement.
Even though you're doing it as a part of your job.
I know women who work in customer service and men often flirt with them, and they can't just reject them (or even flirt back) the same way they could off work. They need to smile and be nice and polite, and some men take them smiling to them as encouragement.
Even though you're doing it as a part of your job.
So, have you gone through with the full castration yet? I have a line on some surgeons if you need one. Well, "surgeons." They're not exactly licensed. But, lower overhead, they pass on the savings to you.BloatedGuppy said:
I think it also depends on what you mean by hitting on. Straight guy disclaimer here, but when I'm working there's a big difference between a flirty smile or demeanor and someone commenting on the way your climbing harness emphasizes your junk. One is a lot more welcome than the other. When I'm working I don't want someone to be flat out hitting on me. The barest amount of flirtiness to show interest? You'll probably be fine. However, anything that takes control away from the employee is more likely to be unwelcome.
I'm going to chime in too, but I'm not a straight girl.
If you're working, don't hit on your coworkers. Ever. Don't shit where you eat, don't fuck around like that in the workplace. I'm not going to say any more, this is basic stuff whoever raised you should have said, it's good sense, and it's a hard rule.
If you're a customer, you've got them backed into a corner, and they know next to nothing about you, apart from the fact that you'd hit on a captive audience while they're trying to earn their keep, which is often not a panty dropper. I just picked up a stalker because I gave out my phone number to a customer, and I am never doing that again. I thought she was cute, I didn't need a million calls from private numbers, her sister on the line, and to hear her plans for children etc. I'm sure that women are far more likely to have copped this one.
More often, it's just creepy, or threatening. My friend had a customer who answered the door in his dressing gown and a leather belt he snapped back and forth between his hands. The customer had specifically requested him. Obviously an extreme example, but he carried a weapon in his car afterwards and never felt quite as safe again.
Flirting is meant to be light, fun, and playful. If you really think your flirting is that good, exchange numbers quick and do it somewhere better, because keeping someone from their job, harassing them when they don't have many options to leave, or not taking a hint, isn't sexy.
If you're working, don't hit on your coworkers. Ever. Don't shit where you eat, don't fuck around like that in the workplace. I'm not going to say any more, this is basic stuff whoever raised you should have said, it's good sense, and it's a hard rule.
If you're a customer, you've got them backed into a corner, and they know next to nothing about you, apart from the fact that you'd hit on a captive audience while they're trying to earn their keep, which is often not a panty dropper. I just picked up a stalker because I gave out my phone number to a customer, and I am never doing that again. I thought she was cute, I didn't need a million calls from private numbers, her sister on the line, and to hear her plans for children etc. I'm sure that women are far more likely to have copped this one.
More often, it's just creepy, or threatening. My friend had a customer who answered the door in his dressing gown and a leather belt he snapped back and forth between his hands. The customer had specifically requested him. Obviously an extreme example, but he carried a weapon in his car afterwards and never felt quite as safe again.
Flirting is meant to be light, fun, and playful. If you really think your flirting is that good, exchange numbers quick and do it somewhere better, because keeping someone from their job, harassing them when they don't have many options to leave, or not taking a hint, isn't sexy.
It depends where you work and how charming you can be I guess. I knew one bloke that would hit on some of the women that worked with us; nothing funnier than watching this guy be completely oblivious to the raging disinterest from the other party. Plus there was watching one of the apprentices try and cross 'couger' off his bucket list: Jesus I thought I was going to die.
All I can say is, learn the signals and be subtle: even if it goes nowhere sometimes a little fun wordplay can liven up someone's day.
Oh and no butt slapping, that one went out of style with bell-bottomed trousers.
All I can say is, learn the signals and be subtle: even if it goes nowhere sometimes a little fun wordplay can liven up someone's day.
Oh and no butt slapping, that one went out of style with bell-bottomed trousers.
I just kind of wish everything wasn't considered flirting. If I talk to my female friends in the same way as my male friends that's flirting. If I talk to them in a nicer way that's also flirting. If I don't talk to a girl then I'm playing hard to get and thus flirting. It's at this point I say I don't even know what flirting is. Because I'm single people interpreted everything I do as flirting.
I'm a guy and it's uncomfortable just being around someone that this is happening to. I work in a factory and there's 3 major sections with people travelling in between a lot. For nearly a year I had the same coworker working across from me, and when she started work, well, guys tended to linger in the packing area a bit longer than they needed to. It's like she'd literally need a stick to shake them off when they started showing up in groups of 3 or more! Then there were a couple incidents of people exhibiting stalkerish behavior - these were quickly put down by management or by another coworker once the offending party had been outed. If you're looking for a date or a FWB, there are websites for that or you can, ya know, go out. Work is simply not the place.
Well I'm certainly no woman so I can only offer observations of people:
- when asked women will always say it is annoying and no one should flirt with them at any point in time
- when approached they are annoyed out of hand before a word is even spoken
- but when they like the guy none of that will ever get mentioned
So essentially you are rolling dice on this dating thing, usually not a good idea to do in your own workplace because if that dice rolls really badly you could be fired or worse.
- when asked women will always say it is annoying and no one should flirt with them at any point in time
- when approached they are annoyed out of hand before a word is even spoken
- but when they like the guy none of that will ever get mentioned
So essentially you are rolling dice on this dating thing, usually not a good idea to do in your own workplace because if that dice rolls really badly you could be fired or worse.