A question for Girl gamers

[AugustFall]

Never trust someone who is more than 50 miles away, chances are they just want to see your boobs.

Good advice for the other side too. Guys if you are genuinely trying to talk to someone online stop and re-evaluate your intentions. Odds are you're just in it for boobs.

Not worth it, look back on it a week later and you'll feel like a creep. Move on.

 

[steeple]

Never trust someone who is more than 50 miles away, chances are they just want to see your boobs.

how? with a telescope?

OT: Im a guy, but oddly enough have never tried to hit on girls on the internet...
I have yet to encounter a guy actually trying to do it though, so as far as I know its all just a fairy tale told to us by the goverment

 

[xmbts]

how? with a telescope?

OT: Im a guy, but oddly enough have never tried to hit on girls on the internet...
I have yet to encounter a guy actually trying to do it though, so as far as I know its all just a fairy tale told to us by the goverment

I meant to say if they get really 'friendly' with you, asking for phone numbers and facebook and such. Like I said before there are plenty of people who don't do that, but if someone on the other side of the country is that interested it raises some flags.

 

[she_never_was]

the key is DO NOT hit on us, DO NOT ask "are you a girl??" DO NOT ask for our facebook/myspace (unless we've been playing together for a while)
Talk to us like we're already your friend. Treat us like one of your buddies.
Make us laugh, don't take the game too seriously, don't be a dick.

i'm also going to copy this part of 's post because it's perfect:

Once you're past the initial meeting stage though, be yourself, and don't push for love. That goes for offline and online. If you're obviously after a relationship and nothing else, you'll either look desperate or a misogynist. Aim for friendship, anything else that happens should just be an extension of that anyway, if you're doing it right.

Like like like.
Treat us like human beings. Not sex symbols.

 

[LightningBanks]

Its quite funny how the rules generally still apply online, 80% of the time being a Jock showoff generally works (not saying it will, just seems like that, not that ive tried online, im always micless) I remember hearing a guy chatting really nice to a girl on l4d, then the forth bot got taken by some hothead who started hitting on the girl as immdediately as his pee wee brain realised a girl was playing... and she loved it.

 

[bumptheelephant]

If the person can't communicate with you on a friendship level then forget it.
You're a decent person and if they have such little respect for you then they're obviously not; game over (lol)

 

[Cowabungaa]

I've met some girls through my PC clan, especially in L4D2 and TF2. After they asked for my picture, and I gave it, they said I looked pretty good. Nice sense of fashion, I made sure I looked clean and well-cared for, that sort of thing, and they apparently liked that.

It's never really said in a hitting-on sort of way, some of those girls are even taken already, but I believe the compliment is genuine. Feels pretty good. Now for nerdy gamer girls in my area to actually say the same thing. Preferably cute single ones.

 

[Chancie]

Not while playing games, no. They usually end up creepy, perverted, and/or more clingy, whiny, and dramatic than the average girl.

I have, however, still met a friend online because of games that I think could turn into a boyfriend someday. We've known each other for four years, have met in person, and all that stuff. So, I guess it's possible. I've only met someone because of games, not on a game.

Those ones always end up as disasters.

 

[obliviondoll]

you'll either look desperate or a misogynist.

I don't think that word means what you think it means. I see people misusing it all the time.

How does "I want to be in a relationship with a woman" make a person look like they really mean "I hate women."

I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Also, I never said that was true, only that it's what it looks like from the other side of the conversation.

The later part of that post came closer to it. Misogynists don't hate women. They think they're superior to women, or behave as if they think that. (Definition provided by a cheap dictionary and a self-identified misogynist who my flatmate likes. Still better sources in my opinion than a random stranger on the internet).

When you actively try and force a relationship to happen with a girl, that's usually what you look like, whether or not it's your intent. When your friendship is obviously based on the fact that you want a relationship, a girl will think that's because you expect her to fall all over you just because you're being nice to her. That implies that you deserve her affection, and that being nice is a way to effectively "buy love" - which is a blatantly misogynist attitude. Of course, most guys who are nice to a girl and hoping she likes them AREN'T thinking that, but it still looks that way from their perspective. Hmmmm... I think I need to stop listening to psych students.

Also, unless you've seen pics of someone (or met them for real), don't tell them they're hot. And if you have, don't expect telling them they're hot to lead to anything in a direct way. In the real world, a compliment doesn't mean a great deal without backing. Except when said to a guy, because man-sluts are much easier to find (it doesn't have nearly as many negative connotations when a guy does it. Maybe the sensible few among us can work on increasing the popularity of the term "man-slut" in place of "player"? It's more appropriate, and would probably make the concept less popular. Maybe. Worth a try, at least)

 

[Vrach]

Never trust someone who is more than 50 miles away, chances are they just want to see your boobs.

That is different from someone who is less than 50 miles away... how?

 

[Meggiepants]

I've had people friend me after one game, and I can only assume there is one reason why. As an older female gamer, this doesn't bother me. It's part of life. If you started stalking me on XBL, that would bother me a lot. But if you happened to be playing the same game as me, and politely asked me in a message to join, I'm going to let you join.

I've already found love, so it wouldn't be an option for anyone meeting me online, but theoretically, if I was playing with people online when I was 18, I wouldn't say I could never meet someone online who I didn't have a connection with. But it would take longer to happen online, since I don't trust most people are who they say they are online.

I don't think it's impossible, it's just harder. Basically, you are saying to a girl, "Ooh! You like games! Good enough for me!" if you hit on them after a few minutes of knowing them on XBL. When the truth is, there is a lot more to a person than just one aspect. Even I, who am obsessed with video games, wouldn't want to be with someone just because they played games. I am lucky that my fella also loves games, but we also have tons of other things in common.

My best advice, before you start romancing, just talk. Get to know the person and let them get to know you. That will give you a much better shot at actually making a connection if you find the other person has more things in common with you than just games.

And don't lie. Eventually, you'll want to meet this person. If you lie, then you are setting yourself up for disaster.

 

[Anah'ya]

I dun' get it.

Where is the difference meeting your partner/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife while exercising a hobby you share (dog training/swimming/hiking/climbing/football/etc..) or bumping into them on the web doing the exact same thing?

I am stumped by people still saying games are not something you can meet your other half at.

The other option would be to be lucky enough to find a gamer of the same caliber at a bar or at school or ... on the train/bus. Chances get rather slim in these occasions, as gamers seem to shy away from interacting with a random stranger.

I met my boyfriend in Age of Conan. I moved to another country for him.

Soooooooo.

 

[WingedIncubus]

Its quite funny how the rules generally still apply online, 80% of the time being a Jock showoff generally works (not saying it will, just seems like that, not that ive tried online, im always micless) I remember hearing a guy chatting really nice to a girl on l4d, then the forth bot got taken by some hothead who started hitting on the girl as immdediately as his pee wee brain realised a girl was playing... and she loved it.

Girls love attention, especially attention given for free. Doesn't mean they'll put out, though.

 

[WingedIncubus]

I would say don't "look" for love anywhere. If you meet someone you meet someone.

So basically, do nothing until you get selected by a woman as a good mate? Do not act on your attraction and assume your wants? That's not advice, that's typical feel-good bull****. And if it offends you, well good, I don't play nice with anyone, girl or guy.

Boys, want to find love, sex, companionship? Assume your wants, find the girls, and stop treating them as scary shiny objects. Kinda like, I don't know, grown MEN.

Just don't try to find it over the Interwebz on a silly MMO game, it's creepy and nowhere shows that you approach the girl because you like her and are attracted to her as a person, but just because her silly juggle-physic avatar gave you a false impression that she was attractive in real life.

 

[Erana]

Guys I've met in-game? A few, mentally and emotionally were quite delightful, but they all wind up being at least 10 years older than me. And they usually take more patronizing, fatherly attitudes towards me than anything romantic.
They're like Bear to my Mimiru from .hack//SIGN.

Spoiler: Like this

Yes, it looks quite intimate there, but what really happened is that she was about to fall into the sky... or outer space, or whatever the Hell it is. They were exploring an upside-down castle.
Point is, they could put these two characters in this position(with quite little clothing, I might add) and make them really care about each other without having any sexual chemistry at all.

 

[Sirisaxman]

Its quite funny how the rules generally still apply online, 80% of the time being a Jock showoff generally works (not saying it will, just seems like that, not that ive tried online, im always micless) I remember hearing a guy chatting really nice to a girl on l4d, then the forth bot got taken by some hothead who started hitting on the girl as immdediately as his pee wee brain realised a girl was playing... and she loved it.

Girls love attention, especially attention given for free. Doesn't mean they'll put out, though.

Very true, although the same can be said of guys who randomly hit on women online, so, yeah. Btw, welcome to the Escapist!

 

[meticadpa]

If I ever play with a girl online (usually in L4D2, where I play with a few fairly regularly) I treat them just like any other teammate, because that's what they are. I don't play games to find teh wimmenz, I play games because I want to game. If I wanted to talk to women online, I would; but I don't, so I don't.

But I know a guy from another forum who met his wife playing WoW, and they've been married for a few years and are very happy.

 

[Dogstile]

Never trust someone who is more than 50 miles away, chances are they just want to see your boobs.

Pshh, that's not /always/ true

 

[xmbts]

snip

snip

I fixed it , which I probably could have done sooner

 

[marygoodden]

I would say don't "look" for love anywhere. If you meet someone you meet someone.

So basically, do nothing until you get selected by a woman as a good mate? Do not act on your attraction and assume your wants? That's not advice, that's typical feel-good bull****. And if it offends you, well good, I don't play nice with anyone, girl or guy.

Charming!

How jolly dangerous and exciting you are, and awfully brave not to play nice on the Escapist's forum.

Gosh, I'm all of a flutter...

Seriously though, I'm not suggesting you do nothing and wait for people to find you (though I'm not sure what's "feelgood" about implying that you are as likely to meet someone as not, which I did), just that you should first and foremosat enjoy playing the game.

As plenty of people will attest, it's possible to meet a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband playing an online game, though you're right about not treating girls as shiney objects.

Far better to be single and happy than to spend your time "looking" for people to go out with and settling. I think you're far more likely to meet someone you connect with engaging in a hobby you enjoy, whatever that is.