A question for our non-smoking, non-drinking, non-recreational-drugs-using, romance seeking Escapees

[Polyg0n]

Yes I am perfectly happy. If I wasn`t then I`d be doing the same things as you. Maybe in the future I will, but until today I have never felt the urge to drink alcohol even when my friends are drinking around me, I also hate the smell of tobacco so I don`t think I`ll take it up anytime soon. I also can`t think why would I pay for hurting myself to get a trip away from the reality when I am already happy with how the world is right now. So no drugs for me, thank you.

I don`t have so strong opinions about sex, but I still don`t do one night stands or fuck my friends, just because I don`t feel like it.

 

[Marik2]

Yes Im extremely happy and I dont need alcohol nor drugs to have a good time.

 

[coldshadow]

I do not drink smoke or do drugs. but I am still happy most of the time, but thats because I find enjoyment in almost everything I do. from video games to parkour to my constant need for information on everything, I somehow manage to be happy. but every so often I think about how I still love my ex and thats when I cannot be happy no matter what I do.

 

[Zhalath]

I do not smoke or drink, or any of the things you mentioned. I feel fine with my life.

If you think your life is fun, well, continue living it. I'd really rather you didn't go around saying that yours is "better". Actually, it makes you sound a little insecure about your lifestyle, and you're trying to defend it by saying it's "more fun" or "better".

 

[Netrosis]

I'd say I'm pretty happy. Cheap fulfillments? Certainly. Fast highs, deep lows? You bet. But I am a happy man. However, since I view the world through my own eyes, I can not understand how other people can... enjoy life without those fun things.

So, without being condenscending (well, I suppose I am slightly... But no offense ment), I'd say that my life is better than yours (that is, if you don't smoke, drink, do drugs, have casual sex). This is just my experience, and is in no way an absolute truth.

Still, are you happy? Are you really, really happy that you're living a, possibly, healthy but, in my eyes, boring life?

Disclaimer for emphasis: I'm not saying you need these things to be happy. I'm sure you can be happy without these, in my eyes, fun activities. I'm just at a loss how.

I'm sorry but... what!?

So, without being condenscending (well, I suppose I am slightly... But no offense ment), I'd say that my life is better than yours

You are being condescending, you are saying that in your opinion your life is better due to smoking/drugs/alcohol/sex. Perhaps your life is better by YOUR values and experiences, it doesn't make your life better, not does it mean mine is better either.

Life is an experience, not a game where you score points for the more fun you have. Some people are dealt shitty hands with which they have to navigate their way through life. Some people learn from their experiences and turn it into a success, and without the aid of alcohol, drugs and casual sex they manage to lead successful and fulfilling lives, and they are happy.

Secondly, you say you're happy. That's well and fair, I'm not going to deny you of that, but I'm going to point out that you are happy, now. Life is full of high points, low points and transitions. I would say you can't really experience a real fulfilling life without those low blows, it's what makes those awesome highs so much more appreciable.

So to put things in my perspective, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, and I don't engage in casual sex. I do, occasionally have 1 beer, maybe once a fortnight, in some cases once a week. I don't drink to get drunk and so I have a hard time defining that as someone who 'drinks' as per your definition.

Am I happy? Yes. Could I be happier? Yes.

As for your bewilderment as to how someone could be happy without those things? It's quite simple really.

I pursue happiness through different means. Multiplayer gaming is one of the biggest, particularly with Team Fortress 2, it's just damn fun working as a group and not having to worry too much about consequences.

Secondly, I pursue things like artwork and projects. It's a satisfying boost of happiness when you complete something and then you get a bunch of people turning around and going "that's awesome!", and it makes their lives better.

Instead of the pursuit of cheap and quick thrills, I invest my time in projects that will provide long lasting benefits of happiness and also help other people have better lives.

Also, I am by no means denouncing your lifestyle, I don't disagree at all. A bit of drinking with mates here and there would be fun. A social gathering and a bit of weed to break a social barrier, can also lead to some fun, and munchies. Casual sex here and there will make your body release endorphins making you feel happy, unless of course you get her pregnant or get an STD after which you'd probably panic.

Being social would promote happiness, as long as that person is not 'outcast' by the other people.

The thing I hate most about your post though, is that you refer to yourself as normal, indicating that those who don't engage in such activities aren't normal. In this case, trying to label such activities as "normal" and "abnormal" is segmenting life into categories of experience. Most people try to conform to some sort of normality and it is labelling like this that is detrimental. In many cases it will lead to people justifying destructive behaviours (eg: Drug Addiction) as being "normal", and because the decline into such behaviour can be gradual it can be too late before you realise you're addicted, because you're telling yourself it's "normal behaviour".

My view on alcohol and drugs: If you need them to be happy, then it means you can't enjoy life sober. Either your life is not that good or you just can't use your potential to be happy on a normal way. You try to compensate for your closed mind with substances, instead of working on your problems.

I disagree with some cases of this. Casual use, in moderation is fine. When you drink yourself into being a stupid/violent drunken idiot, that's taking it too far. If you're smoking weed all the time because it's just not the same without weed, it's probably taking it too far. I don't agree with people using addictive or hard drugs at all, but it's not my decision to make.

Alcohol can improve social situations, it can also very much be detrimental. I can get a bit silly after a few beers. The world is funnier and I just like talking to people. Once I'm at that point I stop drinking beer and switch to water. I control myself (although many people can't). I'm honestly a better person in that situation, I'm normally a bit socially awkward and I'm not afraid to admit that, but alcohol brings me 'out of my shell' so to speak. People say I'm hilarious to be around after that.

There really isn't any lasting detrimental effects when consuming alcohol like that. I'm not drinking myself into the ground and destroying my liver. With the consumption of water I'm yet to get a hangover / morning headaches, and I haven't gotten any injuries or done anything reckless while under the influence.

It's those idiots who drink themselves silly and bash people or become violent or abusive that give alcohol a bad name, because honestly it's those sorts of events that you're more likely to remember.

 

[Duck Sandwich]

I almost never drink (I'll have a drink or two on special occasions, but that's it), don't smoke, or screw random chicks. I've been to nightclubs a few times before, just to give it a shot. Didn't care much for the music, the drunks trying to start fights, or the random chicks puking on me.

I do have an obsession with being in the best physical shape I can be, and I loathe the thought of doing something that, to some extent, would undo my progress. I work out and train in martial arts on a regular basis. Some of the sensations I've felt, could, to some extent be compared to what you feel when you do drugs. I'm sure you've all heard the feeling of euphoria after a good session of running being referred to as "the runner's high." I've finished workouts feeling like going to sleep, unable to run properly because my legs feel heavy, and yet I feel good when I go through the experience. Why? Because I know I'm stronger for it. I know that though my legs are trembling and weakened from the stress that I put them through, the strength that was expended will be recovered and then some.

Hell, I even feel like shit when I go for a day or two without exercise. I understand how some people wouldn't enjoy what I do. There's a steady supply of pain to go around, and a few times, I've gotten a black eye, or a bleeding nose, felt like I was going to pass out, etc. Some might even call me a masochist. But for me, the reward is worth it.

So I suppose what I'm saying can best be summed up as, "The rush that comes from overcoming a tough physical challenge is the closest thing to a drug I experience on a regular basis. It's what I live for."

 

[AwesomeFerret]

While it may seem like a bad thing to say, I laugh out loud at how wrong the OP is.

Living without these things is not boring, its exhilarating.

It leaves you in a state of being of knowing that you can live without constant consequences for last night, or knowing that you are breaking the law, knowing its wrong, but at the same time being unable to stop yourself.

It means that, when I get up in the morning I dont have to have anything body killing substance to make my day fantastic.

Oh, and it means that nobody's life is ruined due to an STD or unexpected pregnancy.

I fully enjoy my life and I haven't got a single one of these things without which you deem someone's life to be "boring" in it.

 

[hurfdurp]

It's all relative.

Your life may be enhanced by these things, but say someone like myself with an obsessive/addiction prone personality isn't going to benefit since I won't be able to moderate. Instead, I just choose to abstain altogether. There are other things in my life that give me a natural high that keep me going. To each their own.

 

[soren7550]

I don't smoke, don't drink, don't use drugs, and don't get "serviced" by "massage therapists". I live an incredibly boring life and am generally not happy most of the time. At least in my case, you are right.

I'd say this, but you already beat me to it. (do wish I could get into a relationship though)

 

[TheComedown]

No it's not just slightly condescending to say outright that your life is better then mine because I don't drink or smoke etc, It's INCREDIBLY condescending.

Do you know me? Do you know how I live my life? Do you know what I find enjoyable? Do you know what I don't enjoy?

Different people enjoy different things, people go through different things, people are DIFFERENT. So to say that your life is flat out better solely cause you enjoy drinking, doing drugs, sleeping around with floozies is outright wrong.

EDIT: to clarify I couldn't care less what you do with your life but to say its better cause of your lifestyle? No. Wrong.

I was almost convinced of your moral superiority, until I noticed the rather aggressive tone of voice writing and your condenscending attitude towards people who enjoy casual sex. 'Floozies' are people too, y'know?

I'm not morally superior. I simply choose to live differently from you. I don't give a shit whether you sleep around or not. It's not for everyone, and just because it's something I don't particularly like it doesn't mean I look down on them as people, someone wants to come talk to me I aint going to hold any reservations about them. Live how you will, I don't care.

But none of this changes the fact that you CANNOT judge your life better then someone elses based solely off their lifestyle choices.

 

[fletch_talon]

Just pretend for a second that happiness is power.
Now there are 2 ways to obtain power, through the light side, and the dark side.
The dark side (drugs and so on) is quick and easy, leading to awesome power, but it twists the mind and body and usually (some would say inevitably) leads to suffering.
The light side is hard, you will struggle to obtain the levels of power those of the dark side possess, but when you do it is all the more rewarding for having reached it through hard work and perseverence.

I'm a light side man myself. I don't want to be happy unless its on my terms, through my own achievements, and in a condition where I can acurately recall and consciously experience events. I'm all about the journey to happiness, whilst others just want a quick fix... lousy sith-heads.

 

[Mechsoap]

to young to be allowed any of thse things, wish though i could, else im okay happy with my life

 

[Gigano]

The only important thing should be why one (doesn't) do. If you're doing it by your own subjective choice of what please you best, then everything is pretty much equal; Whether you get your kicks from choir singing and sodomizing feeding the cat, or getting drunk off your ass and getting it on with all kinds of different consenting adults is completely equal in terms of what happiness they potentially bring; Happiness being an utterly subjective term tied only to the person performing it, not the action itself.

What is despicable is when people are forced to adopt/drop aspects of a certain lifestyle against their wishes and needs. Or when actions which are not unethical gets considered inferior to other actions or even oppressed (often by religious norms).

Some paths present greater risks than others, but to condemn those paths as automatically and always "inferior" when the only standard is how each individual deal with and react to them is foolish. Stimulants can present just as worthwhile a path to (extra) happiness as something like intense religious devotion; and sometimes it posses far less of a threat to everyone involved.

I enjoy the taste and effect of plenty of fine beer, and no religious preacher or health freak going to tell me that I'd be better off doing something else with my time & money based in some general view of alcohol and it's potential effects. On the other hand, no hedonist is going to tell me I'm missing out on life by not sleeping with everything that moved either; None of them would know the first thing about it.

Everyone subjectively has different needs and wants, and they all count for exactly the same in terms of being worthwhile to that individual's needs and wants (which is what defines them in this regard). The only problem is when they specifically hurt the individual because of its own bad judgement, but that doesn't make them overall bad by default.

In other contexts, some may be more worthwhile than others, but in the context of personal happiness, all are equal paths; they can only ever be evaluated specificly in regard to the needs & wants of an individual, meaning nothing general can be said in this regard.

Tl;DR:

I'm quite happy in my ways, and hope others are in theirs. I won't tell them how to live their lives, at least not based in the context of what they should do to be happy (though I'll speak up based in other contexts, like ethics, if for instance they're feeding sodomizing the cat...)

 

[molester jester]

I drink
I Smoke
I take drugs
I try my best to have casual sex
I have fun, I have not lost one job / friend / relationship due to any of these factors. I am not addicted to any of the above, in fact i often go weeks or sometimes months with out any of these substances. I have never once been arrested, and as for the killing brain cells thing well i always was kinda stupid anyway. Drink and drugs don't make me happy they simply make me happier.

 

[Estocavio]

I dont smoke or do drugs, but i drink alcohol in small amounts. Generally a shot per day. The alcohol is irrelevant to me, i just like the taste. I also have nothing against smoking.

 

[Akai Shizuku]

I'm straight edge and in a serious relationship. I'm happy because I'm the person I want to be.

 

[Ciran]

Well, yes, I'm happy. Now there is one thing to consider, because I have also not tried any of those things, so it's quite possible that I don't see my life is boring because I've never had the alternative. I'm not saying that is the case, because even if I tried them I might find I still don't want to do them, but it's still a possibility.

 

[Dyme]

Still, are you happy? Are you really, really happy that you're living a, possibly, healthy but, in my eyes, boring life?

Hell yeah. Life is really great. I don't need drugs to make it feel good.

Losing control, if done in moderation, is fun.

I do not understand.

Apart from that I tried alcohol, I ended up feeling normal but having to throw up once in a while.
My parents regularily drink alcohol, they often end up shouting at each other, my brother often drinks alcohol on his free days, then he often does insane shit, he has to pay 2000? because he wanted to get back into some bar and destroyed two doors and a window. The bar had already closed. The other day he was walking over an autobahn and ended up in the hospital because he tried to steal the carmirrors of someone who stopped to help him.
Yesterday he was sitting in the kitchen with open refridgerator when he decided to take a nap.

What I am saying is: Losing control is unfavorable.