Age gaps in relationships, how much is too much?

[GrimTuesday]

There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

So do you think? is it creepy or am I just being a little oversensitive? Also, what do you see as an acceptable age difference in a relationship, keeping in minde that different age difference are appropriate at different age.

 

[Plurralbles]

half+7 once you hit 14.

Yes, a 100 year old can date a 57 year old.
The 20 in a relationship with a 17 year old is kinda' awkward, but whatever. it's an okay rule.

 

[ShakyFt Slasher]

My GF is 1 year and 7 months older than me. We don't find it weird but our age difference isn't too much. She's 18 and I'm 17(just turned so in February). I think if they both want it and are mature enough to understand what is going on then I guess it's not too bad. I would be weirded out dating a 20 year old to be completely honest though '~'

 

[DefunctTheory]

It's creepy.

Made worse by his apparent lack of graduating skills.

17 and below are for people 17 and below.

Honestly don't even see the appeal of such a thing. Women who aren't old enough to buy booze usualy make my head hurt (no offense to that group, I guess I'm just too damn old).

 

[_silentheartsong]

I'm of the opinion that what goes on between two mature, consenting adults is their business and no one else's. I know a 34-year-old engaged to a 20-year-old, and they're both wonderfully nice people who seem very happy together. So as long as the two involved in the relationship are decent people, it's pretty much fine.

 

[Naheal]

The longer they stay together, the less it'll matter.

 

[Just_A_Glitch]

There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

Around that age, I don't think that's creepy. You'll find a lot of first and second year college students dating high school girls. Its pretty common. Now, if she was fourteen, that would be odd. But four years I don't think is too bad.

In your high school were there any seniors dating freshmen? Same age difference. The only difference here is that he's out of school.

 

[loc978]

I dunno about you guys, but I plan on dying at age 167 while having sex with a 19 year old model.

but yeah, being with a girl who is in high school after you've been out a few years is a little off.

 

[Kortney]

17 and below are for people 17 and below.

What about 18 and 17?

I think it's weird trying to apply those kind of "rules" to it. I think half your age plus seven is a good rule of thumb.

 

[Dags90]

Women who aren't old enough to buy booze usualy make my head hurt (no offense to that group, I guess I'm just too damn old).

Perhaps more importantly: If you can't drive, you can't ride. I ain't no chauffeur, I can't even spell it without spell check.

I don't think it's particularly useful to try and quantify "creepiness". Stick to what's legal (OPs scenario wouldn't be illegal where I live). I think the biggest difference I've ever done was 10 years older (19/29).

 

[gellert1984]

(Age of consent in Japan is 12????)

Those maps are out of date, japan changed there legislation due to pressure from the US, you have to be married now.

Also I'd spoiler them pics if I were you.

 

[loc978]

(Age of consent in Japan is 12????)

13, at the national level, but it varies by prefecture. As low as the national 13 in some rural areas, as high as 21 in some cities.

-nvm-
Ninja'd, and I think my information is out of date. Hadn't heard about a change in legislation lately.

 

[Pain Is Inevitable]

If both are above the age of consent, they can knock themselves out for all I care. If one or both are below the age of consent, 3 years seems like a sensible limit.

The whole "half your age + 7" and other kind of rules just seem very arbitrary and subjective to me. If you get along well with someone and the law says you can bone, go right ahead. No chip off my shoulder.

 

[GrimTuesday]

It all depends on the maturity of the people. I'm not going to judge people by how many times they've ridden a rock around a giant ball of plasma.

That's another reason I find it creepy he is in no way mature. It seems like anytime that a female is nice to him, he attaches himself to her, and gets really clingy. I've know girls who have had him do this, and they all strait up told him to fuck off before he got the hint. I don't really know how their relationship is so I can't say exactly how he is acting, but from my prior knowledge of the guy, I'd be willing to bet its the same as the last few girls he's gone out with.

There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

Around that age, I don't think that's creepy. You'll find a lot of first and second year college students dating high school girls. Its pretty common. Now, if she was fourteen, that would be odd. But four years I don't think is too bad.

In your high school were there any seniors dating freshmen? Same age difference. The only difference here is that he's out of school.

I don't know, when I see older guys going out with significantly younger girls (a four year gap is pretty big at my age) something just doesn't sit well with me. It would be one thing if she were a junior or a senior, but if she was a freshmen when I graduated, she was an 8th grader when he should have graduated.

And no, seniors dating freshmen was frowned upon at my high school, not by the teachers or administration, but by the students themselves.

 

[JezebelinHell]

I am thinking that his age still being in high school is the creepy part. There is something off with him that sends off warning bells no matter what the age of the girl is. Also, it isn't like a female closer to his age is going to want a 20 yr old still in high school. I thought there was an age that the school just wouldn't let you continue attending past?

 

[Just_A_Glitch]

There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

Around that age, I don't think that's creepy. You'll find a lot of first and second year college students dating high school girls. Its pretty common. Now, if she was fourteen, that would be odd. But four years I don't think is too bad.

In your high school were there any seniors dating freshmen? Same age difference. The only difference here is that he's out of school.

I don't know, when I see older guys going out with significantly younger girls (a four year gap is pretty big at my age) something just doesn't sit well with me. It would be one thing if she were a junior or a senior, but if she was a freshmen when I graduated, she was an 8th grader when he should have graduated.

And no, seniors dating freshmen was frowned upon at my high school, not by the teachers or administration, but by the students themselves.

Really? Hmm. They weren't the most common thing when I was in high school, but they certainly weren't frowned upon. I just don't see four years as all that much. At that age, anything more than four years I could agree to, but if they have potential to be in the same school at the same time, which if my math is correct they did, then I don't see a problem with it.

Different strokes, I guess. Four years never really bothered me that much (though I have lied about it in the past as an excuse to avoid a relationship. Kind of hypocritical, I know). My grandparents were fifteen years apart (they didn't marry until they were like, 30 and 45), so I guess I kind of grew up not really seeing an issue.

 

[Bobbity]

Yeah. a sixteen year old with a nineteen year old is pretty creepy :S

Otherwise, I'm not sure. Maybe within one/two years from nineteen down, but after that, it'd open up a little.

 

[GrimTuesday]

There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

Around that age, I don't think that's creepy. You'll find a lot of first and second year college students dating high school girls. Its pretty common. Now, if she was fourteen, that would be odd. But four years I don't think is too bad.

In your high school were there any seniors dating freshmen? Same age difference. The only difference here is that he's out of school.

I don't know, when I see older guys going out with significantly younger girls (a four year gap is pretty big at my age) something just doesn't sit well with me. It would be one thing if she were a junior or a senior, but if she was a freshmen when I graduated, she was an 8th grader when he should have graduated.

And no, seniors dating freshmen was frowned upon at my high school, not by the teachers or administration, but by the students themselves.

Really? Hmm. They weren't the most common thing when I was in high school, but they certainly weren't frowned upon. I just don't see four years as all that much. At that age, anything more than four years I could agree to, but if they have potential to be in the same school at the same time, which if my math is correct they did, then I don't see a problem with it.

Different strokes, I guess. Four years never really bothered me that much (though I have lied about it in the past as an excuse to avoid a relationship. Kind of hypocritical, I know). My grandparents were fifteen years apart (they didn't marry until they were like, 30 and 45), so I guess I kind of grew up not really seeing an issue.

Had he not been held back twice, he would have graduated the year before me, I was one of the older people in my grade and he was one of the younger people in his grade.(when I say almost 20 I mean in a couple of months, the cut off is in late august) they would never have been in high school together.

Like I said, age differences become less of an issue the older you get, but at this stage in my life, I see four years as too big a gap.

 

[Leg End]

There is no such thing as "too much" in this case. :/

Though, depending on where you live, sexual activity may be illegal. :L

But, in any case...

No sex, no problem. XD

Well, for some people, that is a problem. >.>

 

[ks1234]

4 years is nothing dude. WTF.

Maybe in America with their backwards sexual lower age legislation it's "one of those things" where culture steers your judgement, but I know a few couples where one is 16 and the other as old as 25-27.

So, my answer is another question: is it legal if you assume sexual activity is involved? And for most of the world, yes it is. (Age of consent in Japan is 12????)

Once your 30 or over, ten years is okay. If you're younger, don't go for more than 5 years. If one is under 18 and your more than 3 years older, it's wrong.

Says who?

I mean, pedophiles don't think it's wrong but hey, pedophiles are people too!
On a similar note; what does... lets say, a 25 year old and a 16 year old have in common? Their horny, thats about it.
When I was 22 I met a girl who just turned 18 and she was a senior in highschool..
And then she started talking about prom and "advanced placement classes"
I just felt to ... wrong to keep talking to her
Even though she was completely legal, it still felt just wrong BUT I think it's fine for a 17-18 year old guy to be with a 22-23 year old woman, why? I have no idea but it just doesn't seem as bad. Maybe because i'm a guy? lol