Ain't no cheatcodes in love.

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

So, hey, how's it going Escapists? I just broke up with a girl that I'd been nothing but faithful and caring towards after she cheated on me with one of her better-looking friends. Now, instead of turning this into a "now let's hear your stories" thread as a thinly-veiled grab for sympathy, I'd like to turn this into a serious discussion about the moral implications of relationships altogether.

Now, there's a generally accepted rule that when you're committed to something that both parties proclaim to be a relationship, you're not supposed to fool around with anybody else. But today that I was forced to consider that it means something different to everybody, as there are no real guidelines, just that which is considered to be the norm.

I'd like to hear what you consider a relationship to be, and what boundaries you will and will not allow to be crossed. Feel free to wax anecdotal, but please try to stick to the primary question: what are your standards and rules for a relationship?

Edit: for the single escapists out there, what would you look for?

 

[BeeRye]

I think I only really would consider two real "rules", being
i) No cheating, that's a relationship ender, although not necessarily a friendship ender.
ii) One person can't be doing all the giving, it has to be both sides. I think this is pretty important as I have personal experience of destroying a relationship where I was at fault for just sitting back and taking things for granted. I did love her, but I think I just kind of assumed that because I knew I did that was all I needed to do, which obviously just wasn't going to work.

 

[Flishiz]

Make trust as strong as possible, then just agree not to get paranoid when the partner socializes with the opposite sex. Everyone's happy.

 

[Iron Criterion]

Turn that into

 

[XJ-0461]

My only rules would be no cheating and a fairly even amount of effort from both sides. Other than those, I let her make the rules she wants. Within reason of course.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Make trust as strong as possible, then just agree not to get paranoid when the partner socializes with the opposite sex. Everyone's happy.

If only my current girlfriend followed your rules.

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

Every action has a reaction.

 

[SomethingUnrelated]

I want to punch you. I hate these relationship threads. I mean, think of who you're talking to! Us! Really?

I wouldn't cheat, wouldn't move too quickly, and wouldn't do anything outrageous (love that word). I'd expect the same from my partner.

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

I want to punch you. I hate these relationship threads. I mean, think of who you're talking to! Us! Really?

I wouldn't cheat, wouldn't move too quickly, and wouldn't do anything outrageous (love that word). I'd expect the same from my partner.

Alright, then I'll edit the OP.

 

[Jumping_Over_Fences]

It depends on what type of relationship you are talking about. If I am just dating a girl, I don't care if she sleeps with other guys, much like I can sleep with other girls. Hell, she can date someone else for all I care. It is something that we don't talk about, but it happens.

This all changes if we have the discussion and decide to make the relationship exclusive. At that point sleeping around is frowned upon, but that is only because we have both decided that we don't wish to do that anymore.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

My standards? Confidence, bitchiness, strength, an inquisitive mind, and a good sized spoonful of dorkiness. My rules? If you're gonna be stupid, at least be smart about it (helmets, safe sex, designated driver, no meth/crack/cocaine etc), I've no problems with them being independent and having friends, just let me know every now and again (but I don't need to know everything). Don't be a dick just because you can be, and don't string me along.

Oh, and it's not a relationship unless you agree--otherwise it's just shared fun and frustration.

 

[DracoSuave]

Ain't no cheatcodes to love
You know the passwords, and, so do I.
Battery backup's what I'm thinking of.
You won't save this on any other file.

I just want to make it to the fire stage
Gotta get us that magic sword

Never gonna up up down down
Never gonna left right left right
Never gonna A B select start

Never gonna IDDQD
Never gonna Whistle Warp
Never gonna Justin Bailey
and skip you

 

[DrDeath3191]

There are so cheatcodes in love!

Press select three times, and then press Up, Up, Circle to open the Cheat menu. Why is it that people can't figure that out?

Given that I've never been in a relationship, anything I'd say would be worth jack-all. Hope things turn out for the best for you.

 

[ZombieGenesis]

The only cheatcode to love:
You gotta hit that button REAL fast.

... I feel dirty. Must clean the filth.

 

[dark_taint92]

Ain't no cheatcodes to love
You know the passwords, and, so do I.
Battery backup's what I'm thinking of.
You won't save this on any other file.

I just want to make it to the fire stage
Gotta get us that magic sword

Never gonna up up down down
Never gonna left right left right
Never gonna A B select start

Never gonna IDDQD
Never gonna Whistle Warp
Never gonna Justin Bailey
and skip you

i love it is that an actually parody song or you just made that up
me im the kind of guy who wants trust in a relationship she doesnt mind if i go out and socialize with my friends and shes not there. cheatings is kind of a relationship ender for me and i like being independent so dont tell me what to do

 

[The_Healer]

Well in my relationship with my girlfriend, I feel pretty safe.

Mainly because I constantly threaten to maim and/or kill anyone who lays their eyes on her.
God help them if they touch her.

EDIT: the escapist is a void of relationship advice...not you OP but the rest of you are really terrible (or so it seems) with relationships let alone talking to women/opposite sex...dont even get me started on online boyfriends/girlfriends.

Hey! I give good relationship advice!
[sub]Sure, most of it will get you arrested but what can you do?[/sub]

 

[Klagermeister]

I've only been in one relationship my whole life. I'm still in it, and we're 9 months down the road.
So I can't give advice for breaking up or stuff like that, but I can tell you what girls like and don't like.

1: Be yourself. That's why you're together, don't try to be anyone else.
2: TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH.
3: Take it slow; only advance when you're ready.
4: Girls like cheesy stuff. Poetry or music are good choices.
5: Be chivalrous. Girls absolutely love a man who acts like a knight.
6: DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG. Coincides with rule 5.
7: Don't let awkwardness hold you back.

 

[Berethond]

1) Honesty. Tell me the truth. Now.
2) Trust. Related to number one. I want the truth, and I want you to trust me enough to tell me the truth.
3) Make like Henry Clay and Compromise.
4) If my partner doesn't like my music, said partner can go die in a hole.
5) No second chances.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

This might just be some peoples theme song, personally not mine but is semi-related to thread. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeWjzBHUdsI]

That said, I am the slightly awkward age of 15 and by luck and sheer charisma landed slightly attached to a 20 year old female. Legality aside, currently I feel like I want to just withdraw from it.. One part because I am jealous bastard, never learned how to truely share things. Nor can I fully trust someone, which leads me to this awkward stance that I am in currently, and eventually makes me want to kill myself a bit because I can always find something to chase.. But it ends up not being what I truly want.

I have a unrealistically high expectations of attached others, to the point it's probably not keepable, and keeps it lively so that there isn't a slump like there is right now where I am doubtful of how things are..

 

[The_Healer]

Well in my relationship with my girlfriend, I feel pretty safe.

Mainly because I constantly threaten to maim and/or kill anyone who lays their eyes on her.
God help them if they touch her.Hey! I give good relationship advice!
[sub]Sure, most of it will get you arrested but what can you do?[/sub]

Well i never said it was 100% of everyone here...more like 95%...youre in that top 5%...or so it seems, you might be lying your ass off....

I must say, i do enjoy the over the top "touch, look, breathe on wrong, think, about my girlfriend and ill kill you approach" although a lot of women dont appreciate that control.

Would I lie to you?

Oh well, my girl doesn't seem to mind.
Luckily, I've mastered the death stare so that guys generally know what will happen if they cross the line, so they don't.