Alien Encounter

[ThePlasmatizer]

If you've played Mass Effect, you will know that whenever you ask an alien about their race they will have a thorough knowledge of the historal origins and the general culture; especially Tali who has commited the entire Quarian history book to memory.

What made me wonder is what would I say to an alien to explain human history and culture, my knowledge on history is hardly extensive and where do you begin to explain human culture when it's so expansive, and I expect a lot of other people couldn't either which isn't really a good impression on humanity.

So the question is, if you encountered an alien and they asked you to tell them about humanity what would you say?

(Sub Question: Liara or Ashley? and why.)

 

[fedpayne]

I'd say that our species conquered our planet with our lovemaking skills, and lived in a permissive, promiscuous society in which it is considered most rude if you reject a sexual advance.


And Liara, why do you ask?

 

[Danny Ocean]

Wow, uh... Big question.

I'd say it'd be pretty much impossible to explain human history in a conversation, and that I was amazed that their history was so monotonous that it could be explained in a single 5 minute sound bite.

 

[Kunzer]

I would tell them that the purpose of human life is to have as much fun as possible. Once in a while, we invent stuff. On rare occasion, we fight for great justice.

 

[ThePlasmatizer]

I'd say that our species conquered our planet with our lovemaking skills, and lived in a permissive, promiscuous society in which it is considered most rude if you reject a sexual advance.


And Liara, why do you ask?

I didn't say anything about the alien being hot
what if a female swamp monster asked you for sex?
let's just assume it's a member of a random alien race.

I was asking because I can't decide who to choose.

 

[ThePlasmatizer]

It's lunchtime, so I'll be brief -

"Well, let's see: First the earth cooled. And, then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died, and they turned into oil. And, then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And, Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. I couldn't believe it, he took her best summer dress out of the closet, and put it on, and went to town."

 

[NeedAUserName]

Who wants to know!?

 

[Shivari]

I'd tell them to get the hell away from us while they have the chance.

 

[Danny Ocean]

Didn't the Earth cool big time after the dinosaurs?

I'd tell them to get the hell away from us while they have the chance.

Is it naive on my behalf to assume the best of people?

I'd like to think that by the time we're talking with aliens that most of the world's problems would've been solved.

Would meeting aliens disprove religion?

 

[ThePlasmatizer]

Didn't the Earth cool big time after the dinosaurs?

I'd tell them to get the hell away from us while they have the chance.

Is it naive on my behalf to assume the best of people?

I'd like to think that by the time we're talking with aliens that most of the world's problems would've been solved.

Would meeting aliens disprove religion?

I don't think it would, if anything new religions would spring up and the scientologists would be celebrating as well.

I don't think humanitie's problems will ever be solved, with every new advance or discovery problems arise, and looking back at our history we've gained knowledge and progressed but we are still the same imperfect people.

 

[Unknower]

Do you know what it's like to tell the history of the mankind... in couple of moments... to an alien? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. It's a dumb question... skip it.


Yeah, didn't find any better line to copy.

Would meeting aliens disprove religion?

I think Vatican head astronomist... astrologist talked about the possibility of aliens in a positive light a while ago.

 

[ThePlasmatizer]

Do you know what it's like to tell the history of the mankind... in couple of moments... to an alien? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. It's a dumb question... skip it.


Yeah, didn't find any better line to copy.

It's a hypothetical question, if you don't understand it maybe you shouldn't post.

 

[Unknower]

Do you know what it's like to tell the history of the mankind... in couple of moments... to an alien? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. It's a dumb question... skip it.


Yeah, didn't find any better line to copy.

It's a hypothetical question, if you don't understand it maybe you shouldn't post.

"Yeah, didn't find any better line to copy."

One guy referenced "Airplane!", I began reading quotes of it in IMDB, noticed one quote and edited it a bit.

 

[Thaliur]

I don't think the visitor would expect every detail.
All the aliens in Mass Effect retell the history of their whole species, as one people (though occasionally divided in a few sub-groups), without much information about them before they developed interstellar travel.

Just imagine asking a Hiigaran about their people's history. (S)he will most likely mention the first Exodus, the Beast encounter and the Progenitor wars, without wasting a lot of time on the Kiithid society on Kharak.

 

[COR 2000]

Well, I'd get to telling them how we advanced from sticks and stones to Computers and TV (and everything else.)

 

[GeeDave]

Ah man, imagine if they bumped into a religious cult first!?

 

[fedpayne]

Oh, I'd also warn them that if anyone said anything to them that they didn't understand, they should say 'I am rubber you are glue, bounce of me and stick to you'

 

[Amnestic]

"Shepard."

"Wrex."

I'd tell them we're a species that is best ignored for the most part. We're not ready for contact with a civilisation more advanced technologically than ourselves.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

"Well, we're a violent bunch. We spend half the time quarelling between ourselves over petty objects, If you stay around us that long we'll probably attack you too."

Edit: Huh, I didn't notice the sub question. I don't like either of them.

 

[COR 2000]

Oh, I almost forgot: Both, if
i can't have that, then Ashley.