Aliens give you a starship...

Edith The Hutt

Flying Monkey
Oct 16, 2010
There's been a scenario which has been bobbling around my head for a while and I thought I'd share it with my fellow Escapists to see what they'd do with it:

One day you are abducted by Aliens and given a starship. The aliens have their own reasons for this, they may or may not explain them convincingly. The aliens then go away and leave you alone with this starship which is under your control, again they have logical reasons for this which may or may not be convincing (one variant of this is that the aliens died out and the starship is wandering the cosmos looking for a new captain, it picks you)

The starship is powerful and is made with technology vastly superior to the current Human race, let's say it's something along the lines of the Enterprise-D for sake of setting a power level. The ship is sufficiently self-maintaining, more crew might make the ship more versatile but it won't unlock any special powers and the ship won't fall or fail apart without regular maintenance. Fuel is not an issue, either you can replenish it quickly from a nearby star or you have some sort of singularity-based generator which doesn't need refueling.

The starship answers only to you, command is not transferable. You can give limited access to the ship's systems to some other crew, but things like interplanetary travel, weapons systems and self destruct are under your sole control and cannot be transferred or delegated. You can withdraw access granted to others as you see fit. The on-board computer is capable of interpreting simple commands in a safe and expert manner (e.g. "assume standard orbit about that planet", "Beam me up") but it is not intelligent enough to innovate and needs to be told what to do in a step-by-step manner.

The entire world knows you have this ship, your gaining it was not subtle and your identity was not disguised, the world's media have managed to track down and trace who you are, where you live and who your family and friends are. While many may have heard the aliens' explanation for giving you this ship, not everyone (and possibly no-one) will find it convincing.

What do you do with your new-found power and infamy?


Oct 28, 2013
That is a good question. I was considering saying that I fly it to NASA and let them have a look at it so that it can be replicated. I'm not sure about that, but it may be a significantly better option than trying to single-handedly keep it out of the hands of an angry mob.


Beloved Tyrant
Mar 15, 2008
I immediately name the computer Scotty

I then say "Beam me up Scotty"

After chuckling to myself for a minute or so on my spaceship, I kind of sit up in space for a while to figure out what the hell to do. I'm not terribly interested in traveling with it anywhere all by my lonesome. In all honesty, I would very likely contact someone in the government (OH! Can I talk to Obama!? You think the President would take my call since I have a spaceship?) and try to figure out how useful this thing can be.


New member
Oct 9, 2008
Immediately sell it to the highest bidder to tear apart and study and live the rest of my life on boring old earth sipping cocktails on beaches and snorting coke off supermodels.


New member
Dec 20, 2011
I would also bring it over to see if it can be replicated, I would love to help humanity open up to the stars. Hopefully if the ship can track down its creators that can be a jump off point for intergalactic diplomacy.

If not, well I think I would attempt to mine the asteroid belt.


(I may have been playing Space Engineers Yesterday)


Your friendly local nihilist
Dec 6, 2010
I'd grab a crew of lovable scoundrels and traverse the universe. So pretty much what any person with reason would do.


The Laughing Arsehole
Dec 29, 2009
Step 1: Get the fuck off earth. If it were publicly known that you have technology that advanced then you would find some very scary people come looking for you very fast. Best case scenario it would be confiscated on the spot.

Step 2: Cruise around and see if there actually is anything particularly interesting in the rest of the galaxy.

Step 3: If yes, send data back to earth and continue cruising. If no, return to earth and sell the ship for enough money to ensure that I and my entire family for several generation can live in decadent luxury.


Mad Max 2019
Feb 18, 2013
I'd tell Russia to return to within its boarders under threat of orbital strike (even if the ship had no weapons for that purpose, it's not like they would know that, or that a small asteroid couldn't be blasted into that direction).

After that, I'd use its technical abilities to force a regime change in North Korea.

Then I'd lease out my services as a ferry for the highest bidder for transporting people and equipment into space, thus kick-starting an age of expansion of human settlement in Earth orbit, the Moon, and eventually Mars and beyond. Once things get self-perpetuating enough, I'll leave things be and, with my girlfriend (who by then would likely be my wife) start to explore our solar cluster, mapping things out and once every few months or years coming back to give the data to the scientific community.

All the while also telling the occasional unimportant country to cut something out that isn't in line with my vision of the perfect world (I have an image to uphold after all).


New member
Dec 5, 2012
does the ship kinda look like a giant dragonfly?

either way i would prolly just bum around with xev and kai and try to keep away from his eternal shadow


New member
Apr 8, 2009
Pull a Farnsworth!

If everybody knew you had it then the first thing to do is to get away from everyone. Search space, ask the computer if there are any "Planets of Nymphomaniacs" and go there for a few years.

Tsun Tzu

Feuer! Sperrfeuer! Los!
Jul 19, 2010
Immediately begin an orbital bombard- I meeeeeean, negotiations with ISIS targets.

Plasma negotiations.

Negotiations with plasma......melting their faces en masse.

Then, after that, meet with world leaders, start the United Nations Space Command, rename my ship's computer 'Cortana,' recruit, and essentially live out some weird amalgamation of Serenity, Star Trek, and Halo.


I am a banana!
Sep 11, 2009
Space road trip! I'd get some of my friends and we'd go on a journey through the stars in search of new and strange worlds... first I gotta name the ship... that might take some thought. Watch this space for updates.


don't upset the insane catgirl
Apr 11, 2009
Ugh. When you started on that last bit about people tracking me down, my first response is to just beam up to the ship (assuming it has that kind of technology), pack up my things, and leave.

Because people harassing me about it constantly would drive me completely nuts.

Still, if there were some people who could be more reasonable about it, I'd probably listen to any scientific proposals they had to do with exploring space, and probably indulge them.
(Take scientists along to wherever they think they might find something worth studying)

I might even let some do non-destructive tests of the ship's systems. Maybe. Depends on whether I think they can be trusted...

Then maybe go find some advanced technology somewhere to fullfil some of my other dreams. XD (assuming the ship in itself doesn't already have the kind of tech I'm looking for.)


Lurker in the shadows
Feb 3, 2011
Probably live up there and let scientists come and study the ship. And do donuts over Elon Musk's house for the lols.

Or maybe just rule the world with an iron fist from orbit.

silver wolf009

Jan 23, 2010
I sell rides. Get some spacesuits, pay a small cohort of rich people to go see the majesty of things like nebulas and stars, while making massive piles of dosh off of them.

Alternatively, use it to extract material from other celestial bodies, such as ice from Titan, or Martian dust, and give it to the scientific community.

Get better maps, find better prize lots, and make money from it. Establish an institution similar to the Nobel prize, and begin funding the immortality drive project.

Sniper Team 4

New member
Apr 28, 2010
Probably explore. I'd have to make sure that the whole "time slowing down thing" isn't an issue, because I don't want to come back and find that everyone I know has died, but there are some interesting places out there I think. Like, isn't there a planet that is made entirely out of diamond that was recently discovered? Imagine that...


Mandatory Madness!
Aug 31, 2010
You're dead. You're all dead unless you bow down before me and my starship. Those countries that deny me my place will have their satellites stolen, destroyed, and rained down upon their capitol. I can bring telecommunications to it's knees, destroying the grid entirely.

Once I sink a few nations to show I'm not fucking about. I'll leave an ultimatum and global rules for living. Those who do not comply will be sent into the dark ages, as I will use my ship to destroy power stations first.

Then, I will fly past the edge of the solar system, and slowly, methodically start recording every communication wave I can find moving back toward earth. Every old tv show. Every piece of history we shown once and never recorded. News from the past, old sitcoms. The missing episodes of Dr. Who.. I'd record all of our history and our fantasies and deliver this freely back to the planet to those whom can still up-load this information from their remaining satellites.

Then I will start the mechanisms in motion as my people move to built the ships that will send us to the stars...