I don't want to argue against anyone but just I am a man who has been in a handful of serious relationships. I don't believe I've ever cheated unless you have a very strict definition of cheating. Still I have not kissed, or sexually touched any woman I was not dating, and any flirting I've done in such times has been incidental. I have been cheated on twice though, three times if I could the lesbian but considering I wasn't the right gender I don't consider that as bad. So cheated 0 out of 5 times, been cheated on twice...
All Men Cheat
- Thread starter Colour Scientist
- Start date
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What was it our old friend Yahtzee said?
Short answer: no.
Long answer: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Edit: HOLD UP YO THERE'S A BONUS QUESTION!!
...yes, I have been cheated on. It sucks. Worst part is, I took her back anyway only to be dumped like the day after. Maybe I should have read the signs or someshit. I mean, I'm fine with someone having multiple partners at once, as long as it's not a secret. Someone in a monogamous relationship should be honest to the other party and vice versa. But I'm fine with them saying "so I'm sexing you and I might wanna sex others," and then getting me to make a decision whether I want to stay in a relationship like that.
Also: some people are saying things like "she's a *****" and "I resent that statement". I really don't think it's that bad. Her opinion is bad and she should feel bad, but she isn't a bad person for it. She's obviously had 100% success rate (if you can call that success rate) being in a relationship in which she's either been cheated on or is cheating on. This girl doesn't deserve anger, she deserves to see that not everyone is like that. ...I will say that if she gets to this thread and just says "YEAH OF COURSE THEY SAY NO COS THEY ALL CHEAT AND JUST LIE ABOUT IT" I will personally condone slapping her upside the head.
Short answer: no.
Long answer: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Edit: HOLD UP YO THERE'S A BONUS QUESTION!!
...yes, I have been cheated on. It sucks. Worst part is, I took her back anyway only to be dumped like the day after. Maybe I should have read the signs or someshit. I mean, I'm fine with someone having multiple partners at once, as long as it's not a secret. Someone in a monogamous relationship should be honest to the other party and vice versa. But I'm fine with them saying "so I'm sexing you and I might wanna sex others," and then getting me to make a decision whether I want to stay in a relationship like that.
Also: some people are saying things like "she's a *****" and "I resent that statement". I really don't think it's that bad. Her opinion is bad and she should feel bad, but she isn't a bad person for it. She's obviously had 100% success rate (if you can call that success rate) being in a relationship in which she's either been cheated on or is cheating on. This girl doesn't deserve anger, she deserves to see that not everyone is like that. ...I will say that if she gets to this thread and just says "YEAH OF COURSE THEY SAY NO COS THEY ALL CHEAT AND JUST LIE ABOUT IT" I will personally condone slapping her upside the head.
Never make a comment like that to people in relationships ever again.faranar said:
And marriage means FUCK ALL. Please, stop thinking it's where relationships get serious, jesus fucking christ. I'm tired of that.
Greets!Colour-Scientist said:
I skipped the endless pages of responses, so my feedback is for Colour-Scientist only.
I personally do not care for whether I agree or not, since I have never cheated or been cheated on. Indeed, I've not been in such a relationship where I could face such an experience yet. As such, I cannot hold an opinion on what I do not know, apologies.
I do believe that her opinion forms a coping mechanism for her, however. Something to offset any harsh feelings of morality that may be involved. From how you have described it, she seems to use it as an excuse, to lessen the impact that she is a facilitator for cheating men.
Maybe she is ignoring that these men are using her? Setting a better-than-thou attitude into her rationale against her conquests would certainly help to make her feel like she is using them, the thrill of the risk and all that.
What do you think, Colour-Scientist?
An interesting dilemma.
As a man [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzDK70zO-Eo], objecting to this sort of behaviour is basically admitting that if you were in a relationship, and a stranger prepositioned for sex, you'd agree without question. Whereas not objecting to it is basically admitting that you want to be prepositioned by a stranger for sex.
Kinda like asking "does this outfit makes me look fat". There doesn't seem like a right answer, but Hanlon's razor says that it can't be that all women hate relationships (obviously if this were the case humanity would have died out when feminism happened)... maybe they're testing the waters for chubby chasers?
As a man [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzDK70zO-Eo], objecting to this sort of behaviour is basically admitting that if you were in a relationship, and a stranger prepositioned for sex, you'd agree without question. Whereas not objecting to it is basically admitting that you want to be prepositioned by a stranger for sex.
Kinda like asking "does this outfit makes me look fat". There doesn't seem like a right answer, but Hanlon's razor says that it can't be that all women hate relationships (obviously if this were the case humanity would have died out when feminism happened)... maybe they're testing the waters for chubby chasers?
I would never cheat on someone and I've been cheated on twice, cheating is possibly the shittiest thing a person can (legally) do to another person, not only does it cause unbearable emotional pain it also undermines confidence and destroys the victims ability to trust in other people for a long time afterwards.
I know that's not quite what you asked but that's my answer.
I know that's not quite what you asked but that's my answer.
I had to block about ten .gifs on the first page just to make it readable. I hate all of you.
Anyway. She's an idiot, you should know she's an idiot, and you should have told her she's an idiot. There are times trying to be reasonable and thoughtful isn't as effective as being blunt, and this is one of those times. Not much more to say about that topic.
I've been cheated on once, twice depending on your opinion. The unarguable time wasn't the person anticipating me doing the same or whatever such nonsense, though; they were just selfish, inconsiderate, and foolish, getting so caught up in what they wanted that they didn't give a shit about anyone's feelings but their own. The results were quite ugly for everyone involved. I chose to forgive them under the circumstances, because I valued what we have more than to just cut it off immediately, and because I don't think they understood the consequences that kind of selfishness has.
They know now, though, and if they make the same mistake twice, they won't get a third chance. I've made it quite clear what they did and what effects it had, and that if they once again don't think the effects on me are worth keeping their genitals to themselves without consulting me, I will drop them like a bad habit, no matter how much I love them, or they me.
Anyway. She's an idiot, you should know she's an idiot, and you should have told her she's an idiot. There are times trying to be reasonable and thoughtful isn't as effective as being blunt, and this is one of those times. Not much more to say about that topic.
I've been cheated on once, twice depending on your opinion. The unarguable time wasn't the person anticipating me doing the same or whatever such nonsense, though; they were just selfish, inconsiderate, and foolish, getting so caught up in what they wanted that they didn't give a shit about anyone's feelings but their own. The results were quite ugly for everyone involved. I chose to forgive them under the circumstances, because I valued what we have more than to just cut it off immediately, and because I don't think they understood the consequences that kind of selfishness has.
They know now, though, and if they make the same mistake twice, they won't get a third chance. I've made it quite clear what they did and what effects it had, and that if they once again don't think the effects on me are worth keeping their genitals to themselves without consulting me, I will drop them like a bad habit, no matter how much I love them, or they me.
I thought at first it was a kind of justification but she said it so "matter-of-factly" that I can't help but think that she genuinely believes it. Which must be very depressing.Madgamer13 said:
Well, she never actually gets too attached to any of them and has lost interest in guys before once they expressed the desire to leave their girlfriends. It seems as though she's using them as much as they're using her.
No, not all men cheat.
No, she's not a bad person for pursuing men in relationships. It's the person in the relationship's responsibility to say no, not every other person on the planet's responsibility to avoid tempting them.
If she's going to hoe it up, I really don't see the difference between sleeping with a bunch of random dudes and sleeping with a bunch of random dudes who have what might as well be hypothetical girlfriends that she will never, ever meet. They're the bad guys.
Also, if she's just looking for sex with randoms, then a guy in a relationship really is the ideal target. They're less likely to attempt to turn all clingy and try to make a relationship out of it.
No, she's not a bad person for pursuing men in relationships. It's the person in the relationship's responsibility to say no, not every other person on the planet's responsibility to avoid tempting them.
If she's going to hoe it up, I really don't see the difference between sleeping with a bunch of random dudes and sleeping with a bunch of random dudes who have what might as well be hypothetical girlfriends that she will never, ever meet. They're the bad guys.
Also, if she's just looking for sex with randoms, then a guy in a relationship really is the ideal target. They're less likely to attempt to turn all clingy and try to make a relationship out of it.
Greets!Colour-Scientist said:
I've noticed that when a notion linked to an ability to cope becomes important enough, it's idea becomes unquestionable within behaviour. Under that observation I would agree with you that it is quite depressing, but that is only how we could see it with our current experiences.
To learn how she sees her own 'All Men Cheat' attitude towards her conquests, it would certainly be better to ask her directly. I am definately interested if her idea that all men cheat goes beyond the containment of the idea itself, to see if it links into any other thoughts and feelings she might have.
Unfortunately, I am not linked to her in any way, so I wouldn't be able to ask her myself. If you do ever decide to talk to her in depth about this, be sure to add to the discussion here, if you think the information is not too sensitive to share.
I am not certain how to react to her apparant apathy towards men who decide to confront her with their intentions to commit further to her, my morality says to me that it is dispicable of the man to do such a thing, if they've been seeing her behind their girlfriend's back. She too is not considerate of the man's feelings, loosing interest in the way she does when the confrontation comes.
My morality also says that she shouldn't be blamed for this. Yes, it can be considered that if she wasn't there for him to cheat with, he wouldn't be cheating with her, but that is a flawed argument, since he'd just be cheating with someone else if his intention was to cheat.
As such, I dont see the woman here as cheating, even if she is functioning as an enabler. That is assuming that she doesn't have a steady partner herself, of course. Her set of circumstances is possibly at higher risk though, if she targets men in relationships, what could happen to her if she gets together with a controlling man, or ends up on the wrong end of an irrational girlfriend?
I would instead advise caution to her, most relationships I have seen can be considered unstable at best, I personally liken myself to stay out of other people's relationships, fledgling or otherwise.
Sounds more like she's projecting more than anything http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Projection_(psychology). Her line of reasoning being along the same lines of somebody rather egotistical saying "everybody is just in it for themselves" instead of admitting their flaw.
What do I think of her rationale?
It's not rational.
It's idiotic and short-sighted and she is blinded by her overpowering infection of slut.
She has no statistics or any form of evidence (because it's stupid and flat-out incorrect) to back up such a claim and sooner or later she's going to catch something.
That's just her trying to come up with an excuse for being a ***** and ruining another woman's relationship. That's like if I was a thief and made some blatantly wrong claim that, "If I don't rob this bank, someone else will."
That's what I think.
It's not rational.
It's idiotic and short-sighted and she is blinded by her overpowering infection of slut.
She has no statistics or any form of evidence (because it's stupid and flat-out incorrect) to back up such a claim and sooner or later she's going to catch something.
That's just her trying to come up with an excuse for being a ***** and ruining another woman's relationship. That's like if I was a thief and made some blatantly wrong claim that, "If I don't rob this bank, someone else will."
That's what I think.
Hm,I think the subject is a bit too broad, and in reality a bit more complicated than people might realize.
First off: what is cheating? I've noticed that it is often a term that is thrown about very lightly without specification.
Is it purely physical? Where do you draw the line, kissing or sex, perhaps even earlier than that?
And how much does the amount of emotions involved affect your opinion? Is it ok as long as there are no feelings involved, or is the mere existence of feelings for someone else enough? Or perhaps a mixture of all (Example: kissing is ok as long as you don't feel anything for the other one)?
I believe that most people at least once in their life encounters a grey-zone of sorts, a time where you might be unsure or confused, find your self in a situation that is too complicated for a simple black and white moral compass.
But I think you should always take responsibility for hurting someone else's feelings, and this happens very easily since people have different ideas of what cheating actually is.
As this is a gaming forum I think it is appropriate that I use a game as a references.
for me this came off as very strange because I had no idea I had been cheating, and I believe that this is not too uncommon in real life either.
as for my personal real-life experiences with something that definitely hurt a lot of feelings, yes I do have some, but as I said it is complicated.
but here goes
Edit: if it was unclear I consider cheating to be the moment you break the rules set up between you and your partner of what is or isn't allowed, and/or when being dishonest about your feelings
First off: what is cheating? I've noticed that it is often a term that is thrown about very lightly without specification.
Is it purely physical? Where do you draw the line, kissing or sex, perhaps even earlier than that?
And how much does the amount of emotions involved affect your opinion? Is it ok as long as there are no feelings involved, or is the mere existence of feelings for someone else enough? Or perhaps a mixture of all (Example: kissing is ok as long as you don't feel anything for the other one)?
I believe that most people at least once in their life encounters a grey-zone of sorts, a time where you might be unsure or confused, find your self in a situation that is too complicated for a simple black and white moral compass.
But I think you should always take responsibility for hurting someone else's feelings, and this happens very easily since people have different ideas of what cheating actually is.
As this is a gaming forum I think it is appropriate that I use a game as a references.
In Mass Effect 1 Kaiden is an available love interest, during the second game he will show unwavering distrust towards Shepard for joining up with Cerberus and making it pretty clear he wants nothing to do with Shepard any more after that, despite having a romantic history from the previous game, not unusual Shepard then pursues other romantic options.
Then in the third game Kaiden will confront Shepard about this saying that he "understands why you cheated, but that he still loves you"
Then in the third game Kaiden will confront Shepard about this saying that he "understands why you cheated, but that he still loves you"
for me this came off as very strange because I had no idea I had been cheating, and I believe that this is not too uncommon in real life either.
as for my personal real-life experiences with something that definitely hurt a lot of feelings, yes I do have some, but as I said it is complicated.
but here goes
During the second year of the swedish equivalent of high school I had been with my boyfriend for a little more than a year, and I had just about gotten over the chock of some one actually liking me (I was a very, very lonely person before I got to high school).
And during that one year so many things had changed for me, same for my boyfriend.
So there came a time when he always seemed agitated when I was around and I started noticing that I felt no desire to spend time with him and rather be with people that seemed to appreciate my company.
One of these friends and I seemed to have some pretty good chemistry going and I felt wrong having these feelings without talking to my boyfriend.
We agreed to a break so that I got time to explore what I was actually feeling.
it ended up pretty disastrous though...
It turned out this friend was madly in love with me and we eventually had sex (which I regret to this very day) but we made no real commitments.
At the same time with my ex(or perhaps boyfriend, things weren't exactly clear) things got more complicated when we realized we just couldn't keep off each other now that we just got some more personal space...it was a complete train wreck.
In the end though I felt like my ex(perhaps boyfriend) and I still had too much together, and he luckily felt the same, even though knowing everything that had happened with me and my friend, and as it turned out this has been the most strengthening moment of our currently over 6 years long relationship.
Broke my friends heart though, but he forgave me and it took time.
Today he is one of my closest friends and he have been in a great relationship with a wonderful girl for over two years now.
I will not deny that this is a ghost that haunts my conscience, because I know my actions hurt a lot of people, not only the three of us, but those that held each of us dear was hurt by this incident.
because of so many uncertainties, because things aren't always as clear as one might want them to be, even though none of us called it or considered it cheating since there was no obligations that were being cheated the result was unmistakably similar.
And during that one year so many things had changed for me, same for my boyfriend.
So there came a time when he always seemed agitated when I was around and I started noticing that I felt no desire to spend time with him and rather be with people that seemed to appreciate my company.
One of these friends and I seemed to have some pretty good chemistry going and I felt wrong having these feelings without talking to my boyfriend.
We agreed to a break so that I got time to explore what I was actually feeling.
it ended up pretty disastrous though...
It turned out this friend was madly in love with me and we eventually had sex (which I regret to this very day) but we made no real commitments.
At the same time with my ex(or perhaps boyfriend, things weren't exactly clear) things got more complicated when we realized we just couldn't keep off each other now that we just got some more personal space...it was a complete train wreck.
In the end though I felt like my ex(perhaps boyfriend) and I still had too much together, and he luckily felt the same, even though knowing everything that had happened with me and my friend, and as it turned out this has been the most strengthening moment of our currently over 6 years long relationship.
Broke my friends heart though, but he forgave me and it took time.
Today he is one of my closest friends and he have been in a great relationship with a wonderful girl for over two years now.
I will not deny that this is a ghost that haunts my conscience, because I know my actions hurt a lot of people, not only the three of us, but those that held each of us dear was hurt by this incident.
because of so many uncertainties, because things aren't always as clear as one might want them to be, even though none of us called it or considered it cheating since there was no obligations that were being cheated the result was unmistakably similar.
I don't know what's funnier.faranar said:
That logic, or that fact you're implying that Megan Fox is somehow attractive and not some kind of space frog alien from space.
I read the OP's posts and topic and realized he or she just created the thread with the title All Men Cheat to get views and comments.... And all the glorious Fillion!!!! But seriously, quit making fake topics about 'controversial' issues... its sad
Hmmm...Daystar Clarion said:
I can see the resemblance.
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Edit: right the topic. No, that's dumb. Not all men cheat. I would argue that everyone has their price, but that's not really the point and most people who would fall under the "wouldn't cheat" group would require pretty unrealistic circumstances for them to actually cheat.