Another angle on the whole 'geek girls' thing.

Caravelle

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Oct 1, 2011
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SL33TBL1ND said:
But I don't know if lowering his standards would really be the right tactic here. He might actually be completely honest here and him telling us all the geeky girls around him aren't attractive is the truth. He might be exaggerating, sure, but I think he should go out looking before that.
I agree. I threw that out there so that it would be out there and because that's what had helped for me, but certainly one should only lower one's standards if they need lowering. It definitely wouldn't be a first resort.

SL33TBL1ND said:
EDIT: Welcome to the 'scapist, Caravelle. While I disagree with you and think you misinterpreted the OP, that's still one of the best first posts of someone on this site I've seen.
I had missed that. Thanks a lot ! :)
 

weker

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May 27, 2009
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Because it's the same for some male "geeks" they don't care as much on their appearance, don't ask me why many geeks don't maybe it's an ideological divide between people who were raised to treasure intelligence over looks and some others just grow to treasure looks.
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
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I think the problem here is that you're simply not seeing all the geeky girls. I've met a lot of new people since I moved and started studying. I knew one girl over a year before I found out she was a geek. Almost all the girls I've been around the last year are geeks, but most haven't revealed themselves until the conversation randomly moved across a geeky subject. Because not all geeks are so obsessed with their interests that they can't have other interests.
 

genericusername64

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Jun 18, 2011
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See girl gamers have this superior than thou attitude, surrounded by lonely males, they feel like queens on the internet. (Or at the very least spectacles to be looked at), so you get thousands of people that fap to MLP rule 34 saying how hot they are. When in reality there are billions of better looking chicks out there.
 

EeveeElectro

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Aug 3, 2008
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Because we're not tall and blonde and skinny, when we tried befriending the popular and pretty girls in school, they laughed and shunned us. Because we're not as thick as shit, we realised, "y'know? Those girls clearly wouldn't be nice people to be around anyway..."
Instead of pretending to be something we're not, we turned to the geeky crowd of people and found friends within them.
Although now geek chic is in, all these girls are coming out and saying, "OMG! I'm sooo0ooo a geek with ma fake glasses and mah spiddeymen shirt hehehee!"

Honestly, if you're a geeky guy, you probably let yourself go too. You shouldn't base a relationship on looks alone; if they're nice, smart and have lots in common, does it matter if they're not what society deems as attractive?
 

TheRightToArmBears

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Dec 13, 2008
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Same reason as for guys. Not attractive->Not popular->introverted->interested in other things like games or books

There's a point in there, but it's hard to make without just being rude.
 

BlackSaint09

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Dec 9, 2010
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I can only imagine that how much work a woman must put into her looks in order to be considered "attractive" by some men and as they take up more hobbies i would assume that then they just put less effort into looking physically attractive.(this also now that i think about it could be pure bullshit but il just roll with it for now)

Anyway i do beleive there is an upside to this because these ladies have a tendency to be funny,interesting and enjoyable to be around yet if theyre less attractive physically they have lower chance of attracting jerks. I suppose my point is that they might end up having a meaningful relationship with someone decent rather than some arsehat who takes them for granted and doesnt give two ****s about the actual person herself.

Damn i suck at posting.
 

Kirkby

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May 3, 2010
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Im very sorry if this has been posted before (im in a rush and dont have time to read every post) but i know exactly why you dont find most gaming girls attractive.

For the same reason they dont find us male gamers a perticually attractive group of people = P Genuinely attractive people whod consider dating anyone who isnt a rugby player are actually just as hard to find in most groups of people, it has nothing to do with gaming it just depends on who you meet and how they happen to look (there two independent variables for the statistical minded people out there).

Also id like to add every girl gamer iv met i consider to b attractive. Not that iv met many girl gamers but i feel its still worth mentioning
 

Blow_Pop

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Jan 21, 2009
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SckizoBoy said:
I know what you're trying to say... but I think you expressed in a somewhat ill-advised way.

Rephrased question: Why are geek girls commonly considered less attractive than 'normal' girls?

Even then I think there are PR issues you could avoid... simple answer - they couldn't really give a damn 'cos they're not going out to jump a man's bones the first time she claps eyes on him. Slightly longer answer, they have neither the intention or inclination to necessarily 'look hot' all the time simply because they see little, if any, social profit for them, and unlike the type of girl who needs to have all men's eyes on one body part or another, they find other more intellectual (or otherwise) ways to feel good about themselves.
In a nutshell, THIS.

As a geek girl myself I find no need to "doll" myself up. Unless I'm going somewhere where I HAVE to look nice(ie: job interview). I wear jeans and a tshirt mostly. Hell to work right now I am wearing a tank top and cut off sweat pants but that's because I am throwing clothes on over those and wearing em. But honestly I couldn't care less about what I look like on a day to day basis. Though disturbingly enough I still get hit on a lot.....Still trying to figure out a way to stop that....Anyway though, my point that I was going to make here is that I'd rather someone like me for my intellect not my looks.
 

Sparrow

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Feb 22, 2009
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Girl With One Eye said:
Is this your lame attempt at trying to get girls on here to post their pictures to prove you wrong or something? It's a very general stereotype to say that all 'geek girls' are unattractive, I think the truth is that you just don't know if someone is a 'geek' or not just by looking at them. And also maybe you are just shallow and picky.
Whooooa, christ on a bike! The guy is only making an observation. At what point does that leap to him having some desire to oogle at pictures of the girls on the site?

Caravelle said:
"The problem is that, thus far, none of them have been what would commonly considered 'attractive' [physically speaking], with the exception of one lady I dated for a while."

"The problem is that" ? Seriously ? How is the attractiveness of geeky women "the problem" for you, is it that the only use you have for women is their potential as dating partners ? Or are they hurting your pwecious widdle eyes ?

"Is there any particular reason that women of the geeky persuasion have a habit of letting themselves go?"

Dunno, same reason that men of the geeky persuasion have "a habit" of "letting themselves go" maybe ?

"I understand that the same kind of guys are generally not the most attractive themselves, but it doesn't seem quite as pronounced."

Yeah because you would be in a position to judge, what with the first thing you do when you encounter a male geek being sizing them up as a potential sexual partner.

"Please don't flame."

Please don't write flame-bait.

"I'm not trying to generalize. Just making an observation that, for me, has been true more often than not."

Hah, that's the funny one. So let me sum up. You've "come across 'a couple' of these women". You have noticed they weren't attractive to you (except for one, which makes the whole thing even funnier). You proceed to make a post entitled "a new angle on the whole 'geek girls' thing" (as opposed to, say, "An observation I've made of a couple of those 'geek girls' people"). In this post you ask questions of the "habits" of "women of the geeky persuasion".

Wow, I'd hate to see you when you ARE trying to generalize.
Goddammit, why is everyone getting so upset? I think the guy is pretty darn right. As far as "subjective beauty" is concerned, I don't know many folks that think overweight, unshaven and unkempt women are to be neatly defined under the "oh, daaaaayum, she so fine!" department. I'm not saying I have the best experience with geeky women, but those who I've met are seriously not attractive. Geeky guys, however, can be good looking sometimes. Hell, I've even met a few who go to a gym every now and again. It baffles me and I want an answer. I suppose I'll just go stand over in the asshat section now.
 

6unn3r

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tobi the good boy said:
I'm so sick of 'geek girl' threads. The questions been asked and answered multiple times before, can we talk about something different like puppies or space ships?
Puppys!!!!!

Ahem...i mean, space ships are cool.
 

LiftYourSkinnyFists

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I met a particular one last night, understood why I love The Smiths, Think The Beatles suck and love to skank the night away.

Only vidya she played was N64, dreamy<3
 

Eleima

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Feb 21, 2010
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similar.squirrel said:
They are genuinely smart, funny and pleasant to be around. They understand references to a variety of literature, music and film that's considered to be outside of the mainstream, and they've got a nice, dark sense of humour.
Why thank you. ^_^

similar.squirrel said:
The problem is that, thus far, none of them have been what would commonly be considered 'attractive' [physically speaking], with the exception of one lady I dated for a while.
Is there any particular reason that women of the geeky persuasion have a habit of letting themselves go? I understand that the same kind of guys are generally not the most attractive themselves, but it doesn't seem quite as pronounced.
Ummmm..... My husband would disagree. And I weigh 62 kilos (132lbs) and measure 1m78 (5'8), not that that actually means anything, but one of your posts seemed to imply that geek girls were overweight.

You say you're not trying to generalize, and yet that's exactly what you're doing. How many "geek girls" have you actually met? There are a *lot* of us out there, and we come in all shapes and sizes, just like any other population group. The unattractive-to-attractive ratio, as a previous poster put it, is the same as any other.
It is my belief that you are grossly mistaken in your presumption.

Think I'll finish off with an inspiring motivational poster: ^_^
 

similar.squirrel

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LiftYourSkinnyFists said:
I met a particular one last night, understood why I love The Smiths, Think The Beatles suck and love to skank the night away.

Only vidya she played was N64, dreamy<3
And did you lift your skinny fists like antennas to heaven at the good fortune of meeting such a charming lady?
 

NKnight

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Jul 31, 2010
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Well, proportion. First off, the few girls you met can not be considered the basis to geek girls population in general. Second, most geeks are in fact non-attractive (or at least not beautiful), but as there are a HUGE number of men on the geek side of the Force, you will find much more handsome specimens there.... but you will also find a lot of ugly ones... basically you will find much more of everything on the men side of the spectrum.

...Except virgins, I guess. :p
 

Zykon TheLich

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aprilmarie said:
Though disturbingly enough I still get hit on a lot.....Still trying to figure out a way to stop that....
Carry a bucket full of poo with you wherever you go. It will work like a charm, and if anyone ever gives you any shit (hurrr) you can respond like our animal forebears.

OT: No idea, I don't hang around in 'geek' circles, though I would imagine you just need to get out more and talk to more women, not everyone wears their interests on their sleeves. Talk to some more women and you might find they have an interest in something 'geeky', they just don't go on about it 24/7. I will also point out though that there is a difference between being unattractive and letting yourself go. You can be conventionally unattractive and still look after yourself or you can be hot as the surface of the sun and not bother.
 

Vault101

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Sep 26, 2010
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using myself as an example

Im not feminine is alot of ways, in fact alot of things "feminine" I find completley fucking retarded and stupid...I hate pink and dresses...and well "girly" things...

cloths shopping and fashion, is really beyond my comprehension, as is make up and knowing about how to look after ones aperence...umm to a certain extent that is (I got foundation and hair straightening down), plus I dont get alot of exercise

and well I guess the same reason that alot of "nerdy" guys generally arnt considered attractive, honestly I thourght it would be pretty obvious'

anyway that said..I dont think Im UGLY, but I'm no supermodel
 

Malrock

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Dec 18, 2010
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My best mate (23 year old female) is smokin hot by most guys standards. She plays WoW hardcore, and is generally a pretty active gamer. Though I do understand what the OP is trying to get at (as crude as it sounds when said aloud).
 

quantumsoul

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Jun 10, 2010
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I find that a lot of very geeky girls tend to be cripplingly shy or have low self-esteem or both. So instead of focusing on being pretty and popular they put their interests elsewhere. I'm not saying there aren't girls who are both pretty, popular and geeky but those are very rare and geeky to a much lesser degree.
 

Indeterminacy

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Feb 13, 2011
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The OT's perspective makes perfect sense. I don't personally share that perspective, but here's an explanation of it:

The idea of "having a girlfriend" is very much something imposed on people. It's expected of young men that they should have a member of the opposite sex (or perhaps the same sex; I suppose it doesn't really matter much nowadays) connected to them in which to explore the idea of intimate interpersonal relationships. As part of this, one is expected to be selective with regards to other people, in that who you partner with will play a large role in how you yourself develop and engage with the broader social world. The valuation of some women as conventionally beautiful emerges as a result of a common human socio-biological conditioning, and this conditioning is self-sustaining, since being aesthetically appealing, or having an attractive partner, is a cultural status symbol.

This biological and social pressure doesn't always mesh with how you enjoy spending your time. Your options are to change your habits and attitudes to match convention, change your preferences to match your preferred lifestyle, or to hope you'll find someone who is a good compromise. The OP simply laments that this third option is much harder than he would like.

Well, tough. That's the price you pay for hoping Little Miss Magic will hop into your life and your lap and doing bugger all else with regards to your own expectations and life goals. It's a wager you're entirely entitled to make, and who knows, there may really be someone out there whose ambitions and aesthetics are perfect for you, and for whom your looks and interests are well within their compromise levels. But the risk you take is that they won't. And don't expect any sympathy from us when things don't instantly fall into place.