SailorShale said:
Yes. I go as male out in public and in some of my classes (some I'm not active enough in so I don't bother) and my parents know. I really wanted to transition this summer because my family and I are moving and it'd be nice to go as a male instead of doing the transition there instead. My psychiatrist was pretty rude and insulting when talking about trans issues, so I'm in the process of finding another. I really don't think the depression is causing the transsexual feelings though. Even when I'm happy and in a great mood, I still have them there. But of course, it's impossible to be in a really good mood anymore so...
I had a friend who transitioned in university (although MtF) and it's not such a bad place to do it as the people around tend to be reasonably young and accepting, and those who won't accept it you can just drop at the end of your degree and never have to deal with again.
On the other hand, if the two flared up at the same time, then I do kind of see why your doctor would be nervous. He's probably worried that you're projecting or aren't in a position to make an informed choice. It's also likely he doesn't have a whole lot of experience with female to male trans issues as it tends to be much less culturally prominent.
My advice, before you start any kind of medical intervention on that area, you need to try living in male role full time for a while. It's a bit irritating that doing so is such a big deal in the whole medical process, but unfortunately it is kind of necessary. Hormones and surgery, as good as they are nowadays, will only be able to do so much for you, and if you can't 'pass' your life could be be quite difficult and you could encounter a good deal of hostility. Basically, go out and find consistent proof that living in that role will make you happier before you alter your body, because sometimes just being internally happier with yourself is not going to be enough.
It's absolutely killing me to say this, because I love genderqueering, but as a depressed person some days you will get up and just not want the hassle, and once you've had hormones or surgery it's going to be much harder to pass as a woman again. So yeah, treat yourself for depression now and if you're serious about medically transitioning then set a date for yourself to go into role permanently. Talk to a sympathetic doctor and make sure they know that's what you're doing, because it will probably make it much easier later on. Oh, and talk to your college - transphobic discrimination is against the law, and if you let them know now then they're much more likely to be able to help if anyone gets in your face.
Heck, you might find that taking that stand and moving towards something that is clearly important to you helps put things into perspective a little. You'll have bad days, sure, and sometimes people will be dicks, but at the same time, you'll probably find out who your real friends are and that can be a great experience.
If you aren't doing it already, join your college LGBT society (assuming there is one) and try to get involved with other FtMs, even if it's just over the internet. Everyone I know who transitioned had some little fantasy somewhere that somehow they'd come out and just be a straight man/woman and have normal straight friends, but it will help so much to have people on side who understand how you feel to some degree and will just accept you, and sadly most straight people aren't like that.
I know it's scary to go into a community like that, and being FtM you might feel a bit invisible because even specific trans communities tend to be so MtF dominated, but there are a lot of good people in the LGBT community and even if we don't understand what you might be going through we all understand what it's like to be marginalized.
