Any pointers on how to get on in life after a difficult breakup?

[Robert Ewing]

I broke up with my girlfriends of 2 years, a few days ago. So I feel your pain OP.

Keep yourself occupied, I'm occupying myself by harassing my friends and asking them to take me out places. I'm also flirting with a lot of girls I know.

It's effective, and the heartache is gone somewhat.

 

[dragsaw]

Go smash stuff! pull apart a tv via axe!, or go party with the boyz burn all her stuff






im not good at this am i?

 

[Last Hugh Alive]

Unless you two are still friends, common acquaintances, co-workers, etc, I'd recommend deleting her phone number, facebook and what have you.

That may sound drastic and I don't really know how to explain it, but I think the best way to really get over someone is to actually be the person to break contact. Even if, say, you get dumped, its a lot more comforting to know that you took a bold step to move forward rather than feeling like you drove he/she away, it just makes you feel hopeless and weak.

 

[devilofthemist]

i think one of the best things to do in this sort of situation is meet new people, i don't mean romantically i just mean as friends, join a new club and make some new friends to take your mind of of it, it worked for me

 

[Jonluw]

Does she want to be forgiven, or have you left her for good?
Because if you're thinking about maybe forgiving her, consider this: Threesomes.

If you've left her for good, I have no advice to give. I have no idea what it feels like to break from a relationship.

 

[Inuprince]

First off, i dont suggest any alcoholic drink. This will only make it more miserable.
Secondly, what exactly is the reason of your breaking up? Your jealousy of your companion recieving bodily pleasure that you were never able to give her (since you are not female)? Do you also break up with people if they eat different food than you?

I think this was a case of betrayal of trust, rather than jealousy. While I myself am not a polygamous person, I believe that these kind of relationship's can work out, if both members are okay with it. But here it was a simple case of cheating. Maybe they could have talked it over, but of course every relationship has their own rules, and maybe this was a fatal blow that the OP couldn't forgive. I believe I would have not been able to forgive her either.

 

[Thistlehart]

What should you do?

Hmmm... Give us the rest of the story, 'cause I'm not buying the victim bit.

If there's no more story, then what you do is simple.

1) Grit your teeth.
2) Pull yourself together.
3) Move on.

In essence, Get Over It.

In the words of one of my middle school teachers, "Life sucks and then you die. Toughen up."

 

[BENZOOKA]

I take it that you're a teenager. You'll find out the best ways to cope with it yourself.

People are different, and with different personalities, there are different ways to cope with these situations. Personally, I like to analyze everything, comprehensively, then deal with it, and then I'm ready to leave it behind. But that's just me, and I think it takes longer than for most that way.

As for general tips:
1. Don't roll in self pity
2. Do not think of only the best things and times you had together. In some ways, you are better off without her.
3. Don't roll in self pity. Seriously.
4. Think of getting through with this as getting stronger as ever afterwards. Coming back from the first heartbreak is something every man has to go through.

Anyways; she deceived and betrayed you so this isn't even that bad, to be frank. Fuck it, and move on.

One more important thing: You can't stay second guessing about if you want to go back with her again. Either you say goodbye or go back. Don't say maybe and leave the door open. You're not getting over her before you settle on either of those things.

 

[monkeymo4d]

A bucket of chicken makes the pain go away

 

[Smooth Operator]

You do what you always did without her, now turned up to 11.
- excessive drinking
- excessive partying
- excessive frolicking

Then when you get all worn out you notice your life is just as good without the ball and chain, and then you can again run the fields of gold.

P.S. About that "ah it's no big deal", that is only applicable if your ignorance hat is made of pure titanium and coated with led.
Betrayals cut deep, unless you possess an absurd amount of indifference hanging around will eat up your sanity.

 

[Kungfu_Teddybear]

Wait, you caught your girlfriend in bed with another girl and you didn't ask to join in?

Alcohol my friend, preferably a strong whiskey. If you've passed the point of getting back together then cut all contact. Facebook, phone numbers etc etc. Keep yourself occupied, work, studies, hobbies etc etc.

And I have no more to give.

 

[White Lightning]

Do lots of cocaine

Ok thats probably bad advice, sleep with her best friend.

Or maybe not.

I know, play lots and lots of Skyrim. Its foolproof!

If that fails, cocaine.

No, no, no, you've got it all wrong! You play Skyrim WHILE using her best friends Cocaine.

 

[Strazdas]

First off, i dont suggest any alcoholic drink. This will only make it more miserable.
Secondly, what exactly is the reason of your breaking up? Your jealousy of your companion recieving bodily pleasure that you were never able to give her (since you are not female)? Do you also break up with people if they eat different food than you?

I think this was a case of betrayal of trust, rather than jealousy. While I myself am not a polygamous person, I believe that these kind of relationship's can work out, if both members are okay with it. But here it was a simple case of cheating. Maybe they could have talked it over, but of course every relationship has their own rules, and maybe this was a fatal blow that the OP couldn't forgive. I believe I would have not been able to forgive her either.

Since we dont know the whole story, any of those could be true. however from the information he gave us "walked in one them doing the thing", it sounds a lot like jealousy.