Any pointers on how to get on in life after a difficult breakup?

[Woodsey]

Normally I'd recommend deleting her on everything, drinking a metric fuck-tonne, and forcibly taking an interest in other girls until you forget about it. (By making sure you at least take note of fit ones I mean, I'm not advocating being... y'know, forceful.)

But then this is a less normal situation, and I'm not sure I could willingly delete two girls going at it from my mind. They revoke your man-license for that kind of thing.

 

[Cecilthedarkknight_234]

be a twenty six year old virgin like me who doesn't have to worry about that bs.

 

[The Funslinger]

I take it you've moved past the point of no return in leaving your girlfriend? I hate to see an otherwise stable relationship break up over something like this, at least not unless a repeating pattern of deception is involved.

"Other wise stable"? ...What the fuck? Shes fucking other people, thats reason enough to break up. Saying the relationship is otherwise stable is like saying the Nazi regime only invaded Poland and pulled off the holocaust but was otherwise peaceful.

OT: I have no fucking idea OP, but I dunno about giving her another chance. Its hard to trust someone again when something like that happens.

Godwin's law by post four. Nice.

...And?

Good idea on the Facebook thing anyway.

Just found it mildly amusing is all.

As for the Facebook thing, I know I shouldn't, and that it'll only hurt me. I guess it's just because I'm at a place in my life where one night stands would be relatively simple, but there aren't any immediate people I could really relate to, which sucks because a good relationship is what I really want right now, and is what I thought I had with my ex. All in all, I guess I just want to avoid that nasty surprise of one day walking into the college hub to see her kissing another guy. I want to deal with that nasty little shock in my own privacy, but what it leads to is worse in the long run. I guess the more self involved part of me wants some sign that she's unhappy without me. I'm not doing it anymore aside from one brief relapse the other day. It's just brutal that my first attempt in over a year at a relationship ended with being drunkenly cheated on. I guess it makes me go back over all that happened and obsess over little instances where I might have acted differently. There is no other psychological torture that comes close, I can fucking tell you.

As a friend and former mentor of mine always said, "it's easier to solve other people's problems than your own", so I guess I'll just put all my social efforts into helping people for the time being.

 

[SaikyoKid]

Honestly dude, just keep on keeping on is the best thing to do. It sounds like you've broken up and you're still around to tell the tale, so it doesn't sound too terrible. Like people have said, learn to enjoy flying solo for a while and just take it easy on the dating scene for a bit. Last thing ya need is to jump right into another crappy relationship just because it's there and you're feeling down.

Just give it some time and you'll be feeling better about it. Time cures (almost) all wounds. Or so I've been told.

 

[mjc0961]

I take it you've moved past the point of no return in leaving your girlfriend? I hate to see an otherwise stable relationship break up over something like this, at least not unless a repeating pattern of deception is involved.

You hate to see "an otherwise stable relationship" break up over one of the partners completely betraying the other person's trust by sleeping with another person?! The hell is wrong with you? When your partner cheats on you, that immediately ceases to be a stable relationship. Any sense of trust is gone; this person has betrayed you.

But hey, you stay in such a relationship if you want to. Have fun being a doormat for your partner while you wait for a "repeating pattern of deception" to emerge. How many times do you have to be cheated on for that to occur? 2? 3? 5? 10? Fuck that nonsense, cheat once and it's over.

Welcome to the realm of unreasonable jealousy.

The only unreasonable thing here is your claim that being cheated on isn't a good reason to end a relationship.

I pity those that live in fear and suspicion of infidelity, because everyone is suspect, and it merely gets in the way of enjoying each other.

And I pity those that feel its okay for their partner to treat them like a doormat. You fail to realize that the "fear and suspicion of infidelity" only occurs after they cheat once because now you can no longer trust them. Leaving the cheating piece of trash eliminates living in fear and suspicion of them cheating on you again and frees you up to find someone else who isn't a total douchebag. But hey, once again, have fun being some person's doormat while you try to fix "stable" relationships that aren't stable anymore.

 

[Desworks]

When I broke up with my ex, this was the answer.
Shortly followed by the girl who was serving me them all night.

[http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/99/18061816638228007491412.jpg/]

Kronenbourg? The guy's just had his heart broken and you suggest a Pale Lager? That's like applying a band aid to stop the bleeding on a severed artery!

No, at times like this, a man needs a drink that make the world a better place.

It's even Single Malt!

 

[Nargleblarg]

Just take every day one step at a time and overtime you will learn to fight it. Trust me it always takes a lot of time though.

You should focus on doing your favorite hobbies even if you don't want to at the moment. Also spend a lot of money on stupid stuff will make you feel better.

Also avoid the rebound as mentioned and don't do anything stupid.

 

[Jubbert]

Crap in her car air conditioner.

 

[wooty]

When I broke up with my ex, this was the answer.
Shortly followed by the girl who was serving me them all night.

[http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/99/18061816638228007491412.jpg/]

Kronenbourg? The guy's just had his heart broken and you suggest a Pale Lager? That's like applying a band aid to stop the bleeding on a severed artery!

It was just a visual aid, first pic I came across.

Anway, whats wrong with the Kron? Its the beer of kings and the easily pleased

 

[Rylingo]

You chose to automatically condemn a person and situation that you know almost absolutely nothing about, that alone is unreasonable.

The point I was trying to make, but you apparently ignored, is not to say that infidelity is automatically excusable, but that a working and loving relationship can in many cases be salvaged in spite of it. In some cases such relationships are even stronger due to being tested.

I pity those that live in fear and suspicion of infidelity, because everyone is suspect, and it merely gets in the way of enjoying each other.

If the issues that led to her to cheating have not been resolved that chances of her cheating again are extremely high.

Also Hamish will probably struggle to trust her again. Without trust a relationship is pointless. I would only advise people to keep at their relationships if:
- The cheater is disgusted with what they did.
- The cheater is willing to work on resolving their underlying issues.
- The cheater is willing to apologise everyone who got caught up in their shitstorm.
- The cheated is able to accept the apology.
- The cheated is able to rebuild trust.

Otherwise its pointless. Its usually pointless.

 

[poisonedcon]

A new wound to smother the old.

 

[ElPatron]

Tits.

Now that I have your attention, pretending to be gay is an obvious way of breaking up without feeling bad. She probably didn't want to hurt you and therefore tried to make you be the one to break up, and asked a friend of yours.

It attenuates the situation - compared to cheating you with another man.

 

[snagli]

Have sex with her brother (if she has one) and take pictures. Then, email her the pictures, throw them in her mailbox, paste her house full of them. Then, after 2 weeks or so, ask how she likes it. Ooh, to make it even better, secretly infect that female lover of hers with an STD, and say that it came from your ex.

...I'm pretty bad at this kind of advice, aren't I?

 

[malestrithe]

Can kind of relate. Ex did the same thing. Did not walk in on her, but she told me about it. She did not tell me who, but it was easy to figure out who she was giving it to. That other woman's boyfriend, however, did not know.

We did not break up though. She found someone that was at her intelligence level and chose him over me.

Anyway, the best thing to do is give yourself time. It's not going to be easy to get over, but eventually you will get past this.

 

[Joshimodo]

First of all, not to cheapen your experience but a year does not constitute a long relationship. Longer than a short-term one, but certainly not a multi-year ordeal.

Second, get over it. No, seriously - That's what you do. You take a step back, figure things out and continue ahead with YOUR life. Just go day-to-day and do whatever you had planned to do before, but solo.

 

[Wayne Insane]

Well I would masturbate to the thought of her doing the dirty with another girl, try and picture the friend naked in bed, you saw it with your own eyes. You weren't supposed to see her naked, but you did, and you saw her doing intimate things, very sexy.

It's the first step you must take to moving on.

Do that. Than think about her Reasons. Was she doing it regularly or just this once out of curiosity. Does it change what she feels about you? Was she unfaithful in any other way?Did she keep doing it? Might she be an actual lesbian? Did you have a chance to join in?

 

[Dags90]

Become a resentful, bitter husk of a man?

Not the healthiest option but it definitely works.

 

[Hamish Durie]

thank you escapist

Spoiler

(adding this so I dont get the low content warning)

 

[unstabLized]

Look at the massive piles of crap that we call games today, make a vow that you will not rest until you become a developer and make proper games for the public. Then you'll have something to do, and you'll be a hero to us all.

 

[Strazdas]

First off, i dont suggest any alcoholic drink. This will only make it more miserable.
Secondly, what exactly is the reason of your breaking up? Your jealousy of your companion recieving bodily pleasure that you were never able to give her (since you are not female)? Do you also break up with people if they eat different food than you?