Any Trans Escapists?

[Rascarin]

(I'm having difficulty describing what I am thinking, my mind keeps saying "Normal" but I don't want to be offensive. Just like, a person who feels like they are how they were always meant to be. Does that make sense?

If I'm understanding what you're asking, the phrase you're looking for is "cis-gendered". When gender identity matches physical sex.

 

[bdcjacko]

Hold on one second. Explain cis-gender to me like I am a moron. Because it sounds like you are the sex you are...which doesn't seem like you need a fancy word for normal, so I must be missing something. Not trying to be an ass, just this isn't clicking.

 

[trooper6]

Hold on one second. Explain cis-gender to me like I am a moron. Because it sounds like you are the sex you are...which doesn't seem like you need a fancy word for normal, so I must be missing something. Not trying to be an ass, just this isn't clicking.

Okay look at it this way.

If you said, "There are black people and normal people" (where when you say "normal" you mean white). That's offensive to non-white people.
If you said, "There are Europeans and normal people" (where by "normal" you mean American). That's offensive to non-Americans.

So you have the word transgender, which means crossing gender. In order not to be offensive by contrasting transgender with "normal," you can just use some other word. cisgender mean not-crossing gender. So that would describe people whose brain sex and body sex are in alignment.

Some folks will say non-transgender to mean those folks.

So here's the thing. I'm trans. And I'm still a normal person. I have a job, I have friends, etc. I'm not abnormal. I just happen to be trans and you happen to be cis. We can both be normal people.

 

[bdcjacko]

Hold on one second. Explain cis-gender to me like I am a moron. Because it sounds like you are the sex you are...which doesn't seem like you need a fancy word for normal, so I must be missing something. Not trying to be an ass, just this isn't clicking.

Okay look at it this way.

If you said, "There are black people and normal people" (where when you say "normal" you mean white). That's offensive to non-white people.
If you said, "There are Europeans and normal people" (where by "normal" you mean American). That's offensive to non-Americans.

So you have the word transgender, which means crossing gender. In order not to be offensive by contrasting transgender with "normal," you can just use some other word. cisgender mean not-crossing gender. So that would describe people whose brain sex and body sex are in alignment.

Some folks will say non-transgender to mean those folks.

So here's the thing. I'm trans. And I'm still a normal person. I have a job, I have friends, etc. I'm not abnormal. I just happen to be trans and you happen to be cis. We can both be normal people.

oooooooooooo, ok...I get it...but um...how do I say this with out being offensive. Um...I'm not cis-gendered, I'm a dude.

Also just so you know, I do prefer refering to people as people, not by racial, sexual or religious lines. I would say this is my friend Steve, never my gay atheist tranny friend Steve.

 

[trooper6]

oooooooooooo, ok...I get it...but um...how do I say this with out being offensive. Um...I'm not cis-gendered, I'm a dude.

Also just so you know, I do prefer refering to people as people, not by racial, sexual or religious lines. I would say this is my friend Steve, never my gay atheist tranny friend Steve.

Well, technically, you are a cis-gendered dude, but in casual conversation your birth assignment probably isn't going to come up...just like your example with your friend Steve.

You are a dude.
I am a dude.
Just like that. No big deal.

Now you and I go to a talk together and the talk is about Jazz.
Now let's say after this talk somebody comes up and says, "Hey, I saw you two dudes at the Jazz talk. Are you two jazz fans?"
I might say, "Yeah, I'm a jazz fan. But I tend to like pre-bop stuff a bit more."
You might say, "No, I'm a non-jazz fan. I just went to learn more about the music."
You wouldn't say, "No, I'm a normal music person. I just went to learn more about jazz."

Now lets say you and I go to a talk together and the talk is about Transgender Identities in Thailand.
Now let's say after this talk somebody comes up and says, "Hey, I saw you two dudes at the Transgender talk. Are you two transgender?"
I might say, "Yeah, I'm a transgender dude." (I might say, "None of your business.")
You might say, "No, I'm a cisgender dude." (You might say, "None of your business.")
It wouldn't be very polite to say, "No, I'm a dude."--or anything like "No, I'm a real dude" or "No, I'm a normal dude."
Because by saying "No, I'm a dude"...that implies I'm not a dude. Or that I'm not real or not normal. And I am a dude. Just a different kind of dude than you are.

When I talk to my friends tonight, I'm going to say, "I was on Escapist, and I was having a really nice conversation with this dude bdcjacko." I'm not going to say, "I was on Escapist, and I was having a really nice conversation with this cisgendered dude bdcjacko."--because your assigned birth gender isn't relevant to the conversation. If someone asks me, "Oh...you were talking to someone, was he trans?" I'll get really annoyed. I'd probably respond, "No, he's cisgendered. What does that have to do with anything?"

 

[bdcjacko]

oooooooooooo, ok...I get it...but um...how do I say this with out being offensive. Um...I'm not cis-gendered, I'm a dude.

Also just so you know, I do prefer refering to people as people, not by racial, sexual or religious lines. I would say this is my friend Steve, never my gay atheist tranny friend Steve.

Well, technically, you are a cis-gendered dude, but in casual conversation your birth assignment probably isn't going to come up...just like your example with your friend Steve.

You are a dude.
I am a dude.
Just like that. No big deal.

Now you and I go to a talk together and the talk is about Jazz.
Now let's say after this talk somebody comes up and says, "Hey, I saw you two dudes at the Jazz talk. Are you two jazz fans?"
I might say, "Yeah, I'm a jazz fan. But I tend to like pre-bop stuff a bit more."
You might say, "No, I'm a non-jazz fan. I just went to learn more about the music."
You wouldn't say, "No, I'm a normal music person. I just went to learn more about jazz."

Now lets say you and I go to a talk together and the talk is about Transgender Identities in Thailand.
Now let's say after this talk somebody comes up and says, "Hey, I saw you two dudes at the Transgender talk. Are you two transgender?"
I might say, "Yeah, I'm a transgender dude." (I might say, "None of your business.")
You might say, "No, I'm a cisgender dude." (You might say, "None of your business.")
It wouldn't be very polite to say, "No, I'm a dude. I just went to learn more about transgender stuff."
Because by saying "No, I'm a dude"...that implies I'm not a dude. And I am a dude. Just a different kind of dude than you are.

When I talk to my friends tonight, I'm going to say, "I was on Escapist, and I was having a really nice conversation with this dude bdcjacko." I'm not going to say, "I was on Escapist, and I was having a really nice conversation with this cisgendered dude bdcjacko."--because your assigned birth gender isn't relevant to the conversation. If someone asks me, "Oh...you were talking to someone, was he trans?" I'll get really annoyed. I'd probably respond, "No, he's cisgendered. What does that have to do with anything?"

While I see what you are saying, and I understand why such a thing is being attempted. But eventually us normies (not that I condone this) are going to make transgender into a dirty word the way we did with tranny and reject cisgender, which will force the transgender community to come up with a new term that isn't derogatory. So to me, it seems moot to do it, but then again I have very little vested in this fight and wish you all the luck.

Also we better be listening to Kansas City Jazz, not that godless New Orleans's Jazz.