Apple Patents New "Anti-Sexting" Technology

[KungFuCthulhu]

Will it be able to detect clever metaphors?

 

[Endocrom]

The picture on this article summed up my first thought u[pon reading the headline.

Why sext when you have Face-time?

-m

Another thing about that picture, Derrick Hardy Hmmmm...

 

[Godhead]

Hey, I cant wait to marklar your marklar with my marklar all marklar long, then get onto all four marklars and marklar the marklar with my marklar marklar...


something like that I'd imagine?

I see what you did there, and I like it.

OT: /facepalm

 

[Comrade Azza]

Okay, Apple went down a notch in my book. The are now at notch 7. Out of a thousand.

Seriously though, this is borderline Fascist. Sheesh.

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

To be honest, if I had a kid, teenage sexting would scare the shit out of me. I mean I remember being a young teenage boy. If I'd had an accessible outlet like text messaging when hormones were absolutely demolishing my impulse control... ugh. I really do feel for parents these days.

Much like the Chinese, I refuse to have a daughter. It simply cannot happen. I can deal with the idea of a perv son soliciting naughty texts and pics from the girls at school, but I some other kid doing that with my daughter? Fuck, I'd end up in prison.

 

[OakTaooper]

Erm...am I the only one who thinks that kids don't need Phones in the first place? I didn't get a phone at all until I was headed off to University. Why does a 10 year old need an iPhone? Really, who are they going to call that they can't use their parents' phone? And once they ARE old enough to have a phone, they should be responsible enough to not need their parents (or Apple's for that matter) bogus Parental Settings.

I agree with you 98%, because I got my first cell when I was 16, so I can't sympathize with the college thing.

 

[Ildecia]

Simple, don't buy an iPhone or any other iOS device.

yeah man, no doubt.

 

[Cryo84R]

It's good to know that none of you actually READ the ACTUAL patent. Patent =/= feature anyway.
Not like anti apple haters need reasons to spew nonsense.

 

[Verlander]

I wonder if parents are wrapping their kids up in cotton wool in order to throw them off a cliff later?

 

[JonnWood]

The verbal arms race is go! Deploy the 1337-translators! Apply the backwards spelling! Heck, these kids might even make actual phone calls!

There's also the British solution; just shove any ol' noun, verb or adjective in the appropriate spots. "i toaster my hamburger into ur garden salad"

 

[XT inc]

Sex is horrific please save the youth and point them back to the blood gore hate and violence of the media.

 

[irishstormtrooper]

Wait wait wait. This new censorship is now forcing kids to "sext" the way they normally do anyway? How effective.

 

[brodie21]

i guess now kids will be calling sex 'squeegeeing the hamster' or something like that

 

[Endocrom]

Or another option, maybe they will start using their iphones like DAMN PHONES!

 

[xxcloud417xx]

We are Apple. Clean up your messages and surrender your rights. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.

"Captain's log, stardate 20101910. Ohhh yeah, you're a hot captain's log aintcha? yeaahh I'm gonna butter you up and then I'm gonna !^^&!#@!$ all over your %!%@*!# and then we can !%!@ the night away while wearing our !$@!%*!(@$ and then I'll... I'll..."

what the hell is wrong with the... OH NO!

RED ALERT THE APPLICATION IS HERE!!

 

[ziggy161]

This is retarded

 

[Duncan Belfast]

No doubt in my mind that several people have already made a comment like this, but I think George Orwell just rolled over in his grave.

 

[Sensei Le Roof]

Hey, I cant wait to marklar your marklar with my marklar all marklar long, then get onto all four marklars and marklar the marklar with my marklar marklar...


something like that I'd imagine?

Is it wrong that my first thought was "You can't use 'marklar' as an adjective"?

I do believe this is my first encounter with a "fictional grammar nazi". I tip my hat to you, sir. Truly well played and nicely caught.

*coughs up dust*

*ahem* I prefer to think of myself as a "grammar Cartman".
Come to think of it... I don't think you can use "marklar" as a verb either...