Apple-Themed Child Names on the Rise

[Buizel91]

I'll just leave this here.

Lets say i'm losing the will to live.

 

[DugMachine]

Siri and Mac are whatever but who the fuck names their kid Apple? I mean come on seriously why put your kid on the spot like that for future harassment?

 

[Genocidicles]

I'll just leave this here.

Lets say i'm losing the will to live.

I'm ashamed to call myself human, knowing that there is someone that stupid amongst our number. Apple at least works as a sort of normal name... but Hashtag?! Really?

Sometimes I think we need a government mandated list of acceptable names, to stop imbeciles like that naming their children after the flavour of the month.

 

[Andy Shandy]

On the other hand, you don't want to give them anything too boring, like Dave or Andy. If you're going to do that, you may as well go the hog and christen them "Mediocre Smith."

Hey, what'd I do to deserve that!? Well, damn you too, Jonathan.

And my mommy says I'm the special-est boy in the whooooooole world.

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Apple and Mac are a bit iffy sounding, but still acceptable. Lisa is perfectly fine and even Pippin or Newton, while kinda archaic sounding, are ok.

But it could be much, much worse. Imagine if some wonderful fresh parents decide to name their newborn child iKid or something like that.

The new iKid ... a multifunctional, full HD single core device with a large storage capacity for poo, pre-installed unlockable apps like puberty and a staggering battery life of give or take 66.5 years.

 

[Not Matt]

i decided. I am naming my born children chuck letbunni Hoimyr and and Barb Edalh Hoimyr.

I'll just leave this here.

Lets say i'm losing the will to live.

you're comletly Justified losing it. (sexy russian? that's good marketing!)
Princewilliam? Hashtag? What the hell is child services doing while these people are going in to labor? Or the grandparents? Or friends? Seriously. It doesn?t seem that hard to say #buddy. That is the stupidest idea I have ever hear? I think I should actually phone my parents and thank them for my name

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

Yeah I'm seeing a massive increase in the number cases of school yard bullying in a few years, of course not including all the teachers laughing their asses off. The first rule of naming a child should be not to name the child something that can be made into a joke without much effort i.e. "Alright Big Mac". This rule should be then written in giant fluorescent pink on the cover of every baby name books everywhere.

 

[Coffeejack]

I'll just leave this here.

Lets say I'm losing the will to live.

I couldn't stop thinking about gathsaH and how much better that would have been.

Captcha: Chaise Lounge. Thank you, Captcha. That would also have been acceptable.

 

[TIMESWORDSMAN]

Who the hell names someone after an Apple Newton?! I've used a Newton. It's like trying to write in WordPad using a WoolyWily pen and an Etch-A-Sketch. I hate WordPad!

 

[Formica Archonis]

Siri and Mac are whatever but who the fuck names their kid Apple?

Gwyneth Paltrow. Her other kid is named "Moses". And IIRC the two kids both have two middle names after their grandparents, and that's where all the sanity is; the most exotic middle name is "Blythe" (and ain't nothing wrong with being named after Blythe Danner).

 

[Coffeejack]

Fosters Princewilliam.
Humphrey McCafferty.
Maximillion Swag.
Bruce Wayne-Rooney.
Irma Plank.
Karl Dilkington.
Dover Keen.
Dirk Jacket.
Barbie StJohn McFuckinnands.
Ice Cube.

Those ones are free - only a soulless bastard would charge.

Edit: Bernie Cash. Robin Barr Steward. Richard Head. Frank Leline.

 

[thesilentman]

I'm fuming for all the wrong reasons now. Great, so now the media goes "look, people really get addicted to technology after all."

But maybe I'm thinking too much about the implications. I'll just sit back, enjoy and see the next wave of wonderful names come in for the next generation. I'm certainly not naming my kid like that...

 

[DugMachine]

Siri and Mac are whatever but who the fuck names their kid Apple?

Gwyneth Paltrow. Her other kid is named "Moses". And IIRC the two kids both have two middle names after their grandparents, and that's where all the sanity is; the most exotic middle name is "Blythe" (and ain't nothing wrong with being named after Blythe Danner).

Well those kids will be rich so who cares about name calling at that point

 

[Ukomba]

Clearly this is the fault of Apple Jack, Apple Bloom, and Big Macintosh.

 

[dolphington]

Apple-Themed Child Names on the Rise

take that from someone who went through secondary school with a middle name that rhymes with "gay."

Can you imagine what it must have been like for Steve Butts?

 

[ace_of_something]

Prince William wouldn't be all that unusual. Having it all one word is weird. I've met many 'prince or sir' something or others throughout the years. Usually they're career criminals though.

 

[Groenteman]

Gee, funny. When Napoleon made his conquests, he mandeted everyone to register with a surname. Lots of people choose realy dumb names just to spite the little emperor, thinking that stuff wouldnt last anyway. Two centuries later there are still a lot of people with dumb surnames like 'pisspants' or 'assman' (translated).

So who the hell are these people trying to spite? Anyone with two brain cells to rub together is going to realize naming their kid 'hashtag' is going to give them a lot of completely unneeded trouble.

'Hurr durr I like cheetos, so thats now your name son! Hope you like em too cause youll be hearing a LOT of jokes about it!' And I hadnt even finished typing that before realizing someone probabaly did that.

 

[Formica Archonis]

Well those kids will be rich so who cares about name calling at that point

Being a rich kid with a dumb name just means that it'll be other rich kids making fun of you.

 

[Darren716]

Damn these people stole my idea I was going to name my first born child HP G72. In all seriousness though if you name your child after some sort of company, social media site, or after some dictator you should have your right to be a parent revoked.