Are friends forever?

[goodman528]

An old friend and I had a long convo on MSN late into the night, about friendship. He felt that friends eventually will all drift apart. I started off trying to argue otherwise, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to be true. You grow up, and want to go to different places, do different things, and settle down in opposite sides of the world. Then when you meet again in 20 years time, you are just strangers sharing interesting stories with each other. No longer doing things together, but just reminiscing like watch an old film for a few hours, before going back to reality and living your separate lives.

I remember back in high school, we once got crazy on an impulse, and had a BBQ at night on the beach. I got a bit drunk, turned a beer bottle upside down, and wrote in big letters on the sand, "friends forever". It was washed away by the tide.

 

[reaper_2k9]

I think true friends will try and stay in contact, even though eventually the two will head in different directions in life. People have their own lives of course but if your one of those rare people who can consider themselves a true friend you will find a way to stay in touch.

I think it happens to everyone though you get so wrapped up in your own life that you drift away form those who used to occupy most of your time, its not a bad thing it just happens.

 

[wowcrendor]

I know people that have been friends since they were kids, and I know people that were friends and drifted apart. I think it all depends on the situation.

 

[Bofus Teefus]

There are very few friends who I've lost contact with, and we're spread across the US. I don't really spend any kind of time with people who I don't care for to begin with, so if I'm friends with somebody, I'll put in the effort to stay in touch.

 

[Slayer_2]

it varies from friend to friend

 

[Valiance]

I can still pretend it's not true. (I'm too young for this shit.)

No, of course they aren't. Everyone drifts, and we all die alone. As time goes on, everyone grows, and, well, sometimes we grow in different directions. It's already happened more than it should, and no one I meet really replaces anyone I lose, and it's amazing to see how different people become over ten years...Hell, even five, even one...It's just ridiculous. And talking to people with common interests amounts to a shallow "friendship" of me playing some online game with them or talking about music that we both like.

My old friends and I used to be able to talk about nothing, well, everything for 4+ hours on the phone, couldn't wait to see each other, and now all of it's pointless. IMs and texts keeps me in touch with them, and yeah. Of course we stay in contact, and that's easy with the advent of the Internet and everything, but...

Meh.

It's just not the same. It never will be, and my bleak outlook on the future seems that I'm going to be alone or with a different crowd not too long. You leave high-school, 90% of the people I used to talk to I ignore. Same with college, so I've heard. People move, people spread out, it's just the way things go.

I remember back in high school, we once got crazy on an impulse, and had a BBQ at night on the beach. I got a bit drunk, turned a beer bottle upside down, and wrote in big letters on the sand, "friends forever". It was washed away by the tide.

Very fitting.

Your friend's right, sir.

 

[RollForInitiative]

Some stay, some go. It's hard to keep in touch with people if you're moving around a lot. The people I tend to keep in contact with now are the ones that I met after settling into the real world. There's only one or two people from my earlier years that I still have contact with.

However, Facebook seems determined to remedy that.

 

[Plauged1]

Friendships start and fade. To make friends last longer, do what made you friends in the first place, then try something new together. New and old experiences gives you more things to talk about and make the friendship stronger. Doing things such as this can make a few life long friends. Stay in touch and help each other, it is what friends are supposed to do.

 

[Sprogus]

No use in worrying about it, you won't even notice it happen until years later when you are sitting on your couch and think I remember when...

 

[shannon.archer]

Friendship is something that can never truly sustain itself.

 

[Bunnymarn]

If it is a good friend I'll try to make an effort. But people change, and not always for the best.

My best friend in high school turned into a complete dick/wastoid after graduation. So, no.

For what reason?

 

[McClaud]

My best friend from high school and I drifted apart when he joined the Army and went to the East Coast, and joined the Air Force and went to the West Coast.

He got married, then I got married, and then we sorta lost contact after that.

Priorities change and all that.

 

[Erana]

Nope. People are transient.
Enjoy the memories you get from someone, and move on.

And it seems like whenever I finally find someone other than my mother or sister, they start acting like angsty teenagers. And its just happened agian...

 

[Seldon2639]

Depends on the friends. I have two close friends from high school (one of whom is my best friend). We talk some during school, but we lose most contact for a good part of the year. When we get back together during summers and vacations, The relationships haven't changed. We're as close as (if not closer than) ever. It's possible that'll change over time, but from the examples I've seen it doesn't. My father has been best friends with someone for decades (I think about 30 years). Not forever, yet, but still a damned long time.

But, it depends on how you use the word "friend". If you just mean "people you hang out with", that's transient. If you mean someone you share your real self with, and who accepts you, and who shares his or her real self with you and you accept him or her, there aren't many reasons you'd lose contact completely.

I like to think of it this way: would you give this person a damaging picture of you? Something bad, that if it got out it would ruin your life? If the answer is "yes", you have a real friend. If the answer is anything other than an immediate "yes", then it's transient.

 

[SovietSecrets]

If you want to remain friends with that person that you prob will, but if you don't then move on.

 

[WingedFortress]

There is no way in hell friends aren't forever.

Relationships on the other hand, come and go.

I knew a guy once, we were very tight. In shitty times, I'd stay with him and his folks, and we would generally get along together like family. As time passed, he started hanging out with a white power grouo(which was odd considering he was native american, but thats anothet story) and using heroin, which I personally objected to. After a while trying to persuade my friend to give up the ghost, I gave up. For the past 4 or 5 years, we havent talked, and I doubt we ever would again. But it didn't end because we werent friends anymore, only because we ended up on different paths. I don't even have the time to tell all the stories I have like this.

Bottom line is though, you can't lose the memories and moments you've got with people. It sounds shitty and corny, but by god it'll make sense to you at one point in time.

 

[benjimoon]

my friend left be because i had the hots for him

 

[Larenxis]

It's tricky to say because I'm so young. My friendships as a child were quite superficial and circumstantial, and had no chance of lasting. My longest friendship (facebook friends doesn't count as a friendship) is with a gal I met 9 years ago, so that's pretty decent. I really don't think all friendships melt away. It depends on both parties finding eachother's company worth the effort of keeping in touch.

 

[NeverAiling]

Friends aren't forever, but std's are.

Wrap your willies, kids.

 

[Kiutu]

I have experienced this far too often. My best friend from elementary school who like me were usually outcasted from others eventually became a jock type guy while I remained among the outcasted. My friend after would eventually be sent awya to some other school. My last batch of close friends too have drifted from me, mostly because of going to college as well as arguments among friends. I have attempted to rekindle our friendships, but they only nibble at it at best. Even my current best friend is drifting from me when once we only had eachother to rely on, we now tend to just be doing our own thing.