Are Men Allowed To Be Offended?

Doug

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Mossberg Shotty said:
Of course, I'm a man and I get offended from time-to-time so it must be allowed. Still, this does strike me as a double standard.

If I ran around calling women "Vagina" I would be burned at the stake.
I -think- this is the point the OP is getting at - you'd be burned at the sake for that, but the CEO he describes isn't taking the men's complaints seriously.

I think the issue isn't that men can't complain, its just men have alot less to complain about overall, so it can seem alittle privileged to complain. That said, I am alittle sick of some (a minority) of feminists who think two wrongs make a right and treating men like shit makes it 'ok'.
 

Festus Moonbear

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Everyone is "allowed" to be offended, and everyone is also "allowed" to not give a fuck if someone else is offended. The whole concept of "being offended" is meaningless and useless. So yes, go ahead and be offended by whatever you like. Or you could do something more useful with your time, like playing videogames.

As for those guys crying over being called "penis", I think the more valuable thing they could do is check between their legs and make sure they actually have some balls, because the penis doesn't function properly without those.
 

Joos

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KissingSunlight said:
I saw this report in the news, female CEO of Archie Comics is being sued by her male employees for repeatedly calling them "Penis". The CEO dismissed the seriousness of the lawsuit by saying, "White men are not a protected class."

It got me to thinking. It seems like everytime someone brings up a complaint regarding gender. He get shouted down. The best example that occurs on this website is when men bring up that male videogame characters who match the same description as the female videogame character that some people are complaining about as sexist. They get womansplained that those characters are a male power fantasy. (By the way, I am just being cheeky with the obnoxious term "mansplaining". No need to get upset by that.)

I can't think of one thing that men can complain about. (Without being about race, religion, sexuality, etc.) That people will side with men and say, "Hey! That is a serious problem we should address."

Are men allowed to be offended?
I presume she was calling her male employes penis out of jest, comraderie and good cheer. Seems fine to me as long as she'd be fine with them calling her **** in the same manner. Isn't equality grand?
 

feycreature

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Rainbow_Dashtruction said:
BNguyen said:
Rainbow_Dashtruction said:
KissingSunlight said:
I saw this report in the news, female CEO of Archie Comics is being sued by her male employees for repeatedly calling them "Penis". The CEO dismissed the seriousness of the lawsuit by saying, "White men are not a protected class."

It got me to thinking. It seems like everytime someone brings up a complaint regarding gender. He get shouted down. The best example that occurs on this website is when men bring up that male videogame characters who match the same description as the female videogame character that some people are complaining about as sexist. They get womansplained that those characters are a male power fantasy. (By the way, I am just being cheeky with the obnoxious term "mansplaining". No need to get upset by that.)

I can't think of one thing that men can complain about. (Without being about race, religion, sexuality, etc.) That people will side with men and say, "Hey! That is a serious problem we should address."

Are men allowed to be offended?
Ok firstly, women are correct with the male power fantasy angle, but feminists do have the habit of wanting more then men get. I'll let women have what they want when society equates me hitting a women in the face for pulling shit to me punching a guy in the face for doing the same thing. Feminists only want the bonuses of equality and complain when the bad parts rear their head.

So yes, its colossal bullshit that the court case failed when she'd probably win the same case if they started calling her only by the title of vagina.
that male power fantasy thing is all subjective - I don't feel as though a person can just explain away a male character's looks onto my being a male as a "power fantasy"
although men have more of a wide range of appearances in gaming, nearly if not all are muscular above the average man - some more able to be seen than others due to clothing hiding their physical forms, but like I said in an earlier post about Street Fighter - all of the men are above average in terms of muscular mass - large pecs, bulky arms and legs, etc.
about the only characters I've seen that would not fall into "power fantasy" were Little Nemo and Lester the Unlikely wherein Nemo is a young boy and Lester is a thin nerd

in the spirit of being a gamer, I'd like to know what a female power fantasy character would look like - not hidden beneath clothes so as to be able to judge muscle mass in regards to a male counterpart
Its very hard to actually do such a thing because theres pretty much no example of it being done that really springs to mind that wasn't done with a kiddy art style that cant really be considered a comparison (Kya Dark Lineage). I mean, for some reason people keep referring to Katniss Everdeen when they refer to this and I just cant see how that'd be. She's a deeply mentally scarred person who is constantly brought into fight or die situations but cannot stand killing and gets PTSD syndrome from doing so. (humans at least, she enjoyed hunting quite a lot in book 1) If that's a power fantasy, I'm a little scared of women now.
I suspect a certain amount of trauma tends to go with most heroes of any gender. I'm trying to think of exceptions and not finding a lot.... Duke Nukem? Wonder Woman, maybe? But a lot of superheroes (Pretty much the entire Justice League, Spider Man, Daredevil), video game protagonists (Lara Croft, Kya, Jade, the Prince, Solid Snake, all the walking fridges in Gears of War) as well as protagonists in books (Harry Potter, Alanna of Tortall, everyone in Song of Ice and Fire, Frodo) or movies and TV (Jack Bauer, Xena, Liam Neeson in everything ever) don't get to be mega badasses until they've been kicked around by life a bit. Hence the popularity of the orphan origin. Showing a character's suffering gives you emotional context for them and can be very helpful for fleshing out who they really are and how they'll respond to certain situations. Of course there's a gradient. Some characters lose their family, some just get hired for a job that goes horribly wrong, some are just life's punching bags. And when done without really thinking about it or writing the character's actions accordingly it comes out really stupid and unbelievable, or just trite.

So yeah, in most media you don't get to really be a hero until you've suffered somehow, and sometimes it can get kind of ridiculous. Also, in the particular case of characters like Katniss Everdeen, their youth is part of the issue. It would read as wrong if while going through all this crap she were totally ok with killing people and being constantly in danger, the audience (primarily people about the same age) would find her unbelievable or unrelatable. An adult who's had time to adjust might still come across as kind of a psycho (see Lara Croft) but at least you could believe that they've come to terms with past trauma. But Katniss is still in the thick of it, her learning to cope is part of her character arc. As such I can't quite see her as a power fantasy either, but I can see how her example would make the reader feel bolstered and encouraged a la "If she can do that, I can handle my life."

The first character I thought of as a female power fantasy was Xena, actually, and her backstory is a horror show. So I wonder if part of the issue is that the term needs to be unpacked a little. I mean, when we think about actually inspiring characters, I would theorize that most people think of someone whose origin includes suffering well beyond their own lives, not someone who's just effortlessly awesome, or even someone who got that way through steady hard work and support from loved ones. I don't know if that's a current-generation thing, you know, gritty reboots and all that, or just a ubiquitous aspect of storytelling. Either way I get the impression that a "power fantasy" in the form of a physically and mentally healthy badass isn't very compelling to most people in any media with a pre-written protagonist. The only exception I can think of would be role-playing where you create your character from scratch or where they have no story or existing character, and there aren't a lot of games like that.
 

Dodgeboyuk

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this something i have to say might just break up a few relationships
its is no means the whole truth of your woman just a possibility of the truth

no we are not allowed to feel offended we just slaves of women who wanna cheat behind our back or want to ignore us when we want bedroom fun when we slave with our precious mortal time she's free to get herself pregnant by someone else it ok for her we just her slave.

when we don't wanna let her out of our sights we are the abusive ones because her freedom to treat us like crap is when we are not looking or listening.

lots of love the maybe framed "bad" guy
 

feycreature

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Anyway, relating to the OP: Offense is probably not the most relevant issue in this case. Offense just means you personally don't like something, and yeah, there's really no reason for anyone else to care. Everyone is allowed to be offended, it just isn't important.

HOWEVER.

I'd say there's a pretty clear line most of the time between appropriate and inappropriate workplace behaviour and this example crosses that line at a run and keeps going until it hits the nearest coast. The CEO's statement about men not being a "protected group" shows that she's got exactly the wrong idea about WHY people have put so much work into establishing ground rules for respectful communication between groups. It's not about protecting people, or at least it shouldn't be. Protecting people from hearing upsetting things is not the jurisdiction of the general public. The point is, and there was a hint in my earlier sentence: respect. I don't ask my friends not to call things "gay" as a derogatory term because it makes my delicate little ears bleed. I do it because the implication of gay=bad/stupid is disrespectful to myself and anyone else within the LGBTQwhatever else I'm missing spectrum, and I don't tolerate people being disrespectful to each other, especially out of sheer laziness and especially when either the person using the language or the one they refer to is someone I care about.

As for people who aren't personal friends, but coworkers, we live in a society where a certain degree of respect between employees and employers is agreed upon by the overall group for the sake of mutual benefit. I agree to be respectful to my boss and coworkers, and they in turn do the same for me. It's not compulsory, but it really is a lot better and more pleasant for everyone, except people who just really like being assholes. And I don't care if they find a respectful atmosphere where people consider others before they speak offensive

(And this is why I don't comment often. It always turns into a novel. Sorry.)
 

BNguyen

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Rainbow_Dashtruction said:
BNguyen said:
Rainbow_Dashtruction said:
KissingSunlight said:
I saw this report in the news, female CEO of Archie Comics is being sued by her male employees for repeatedly calling them "Penis". The CEO dismissed the seriousness of the lawsuit by saying, "White men are not a protected class."

It got me to thinking. It seems like everytime someone brings up a complaint regarding gender. He get shouted down. The best example that occurs on this website is when men bring up that male videogame characters who match the same description as the female videogame character that some people are complaining about as sexist. They get womansplained that those characters are a male power fantasy. (By the way, I am just being cheeky with the obnoxious term "mansplaining". No need to get upset by that.)

I can't think of one thing that men can complain about. (Without being about race, religion, sexuality, etc.) That people will side with men and say, "Hey! That is a serious problem we should address."

Are men allowed to be offended?
Ok firstly, women are correct with the male power fantasy angle, but feminists do have the habit of wanting more then men get. I'll let women have what they want when society equates me hitting a women in the face for pulling shit to me punching a guy in the face for doing the same thing. Feminists only want the bonuses of equality and complain when the bad parts rear their head.

So yes, its colossal bullshit that the court case failed when she'd probably win the same case if they started calling her only by the title of vagina.
that male power fantasy thing is all subjective - I don't feel as though a person can just explain away a male character's looks onto my being a male as a "power fantasy"
although men have more of a wide range of appearances in gaming, nearly if not all are muscular above the average man - some more able to be seen than others due to clothing hiding their physical forms, but like I said in an earlier post about Street Fighter - all of the men are above average in terms of muscular mass - large pecs, bulky arms and legs, etc.
about the only characters I've seen that would not fall into "power fantasy" were Little Nemo and Lester the Unlikely wherein Nemo is a young boy and Lester is a thin nerd

in the spirit of being a gamer, I'd like to know what a female power fantasy character would look like - not hidden beneath clothes so as to be able to judge muscle mass in regards to a male counterpart
Its very hard to actually do such a thing because theres pretty much no example of it being done that really springs to mind that wasn't done with a kiddy art style that cant really be considered a comparison (Kya Dark Lineage). I mean, for some reason people keep referring to Katniss Everdeen when they refer to this and I just cant see how that'd be. She's a deeply mentally scarred person who is constantly brought into fight or die situations but cannot stand killing and gets PTSD syndrome from doing so. (humans at least, she enjoyed hunting quite a lot in book 1) If that's a power fantasy, I'm a little scared of women now.
from actually seeing the movie, I don't believe Katniss would serve as a good female power fantasy - especially in how she is pulled along by the characters around her. Like I've said before on another forum, she almost never makes a decision for herself and is constantly told how she should act or react and she follows those orders blindly. The only decision she made for herself was taking her sister's place in the games. A good female character can make her own decisions and follow through on them, doesn't always do what she's told - she would consider her choices and possibly willingly follow directions, and if her life is being threatened, she'll stand up and fight back - fighting back is not simply the "male reaction" to things - it is human to fight to survive.
I think a better choice would be Mrs. Incredible - a strong mother who shows concern for those around her, is not afraid to get her hands dirty and makes decisions for herself based on the info. given to her
 

BNguyen

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Dodgeboyuk said:
this something i have to say might just break up a few relationships
its is no means the whole truth of your woman just a possibility of the truth

no we are not allowed to feel offended we just slaves of women who wanna cheat behind our back or want to ignore us when we want bedroom fun when we slave with our precious mortal time she's free to get herself pregnant by someone else it ok for her we just her slave.

when we don't wanna let her out of our sights we are the abusive ones because her freedom to treat us like crap is when we are not looking or listening.

lots of love the maybe framed "bad" guy
Okay, we need to take a few hundred steps back and get you back to first grade grammar and writing because I can't hardly understand a single thing you wrote.
 

Mr. Eff_v1legacy

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The people who say "men are in no way discriminated against", etc. have precisely no idea what they're talking about.

Examples?

- The prison system. Most of it is men. And white men are at the bottom of the pecking order in American prisons. There is evidence to suggest that in the USA, more men are now raped annually than women.

- Family courts. Women primarily get custody of children, with men being crippled by alimony and child support.

- Schools. The education system is stacked against male learning styles, particularly in the early years. What, you mean young boys don't want to sit still and keep quiet for 6 hours a day?

Those are the best examples I can think of. I have no interest in playing "who's more discriminated against." But for people like the woman in OP's story, and other people in this thread, to pretend that men live like kings while keeping their jackboots firmly rooted in the faces of everyone else is shockingly myopic and inaccurate. Do some research.
 

NSGrendel

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Men don't cry about this sort of shit. So no, by definition, "Men" can't be offended.


The term for someone who gets "offended" is a ***** (the prison sort, not in the sense of being a female pejorative).
 

glider4

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Because Archie Comics really needed more Drama apparently. Seems like a stupid thing to sue over honestly but That CEO. Wow What a horrible person he must be. Seriously I should probably just kill myself for being a middle class white person because according to society that makes everything my fault and makes me the devil. Seriously "You don't get protection because of your skin colour and race." what a scumbag
 

CFriis87

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Silvanus said:
KissingSunlight said:
The best example that occurs on this website is when men bring up that male videogame characters who match the same description as the female videogame character that some people are complaining about as sexist. They get womansplained that those characters are a male power fantasy.
There's a genuine and important difference between sexualisation and power fantasy, though. When examples of supposedly sexualised men are brought up, they usually consist of men who are mountains of muscle (hypermasculine, often to an impossible degree).

Men in video games are very rarely intended to titillate.
Oh my... would you just look at all these male power fantasies, clearly made to appeal to men and men alone:
http://scientopia.org/blogs/scicurious/files/2012/12/mcmullet.jpg
http://www.stepbystep.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Top-10-Most-Romantic-Novels7.jpg
http://htmlgiant.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Master-of-Desire.jpg
http://privatelibrary.typepad.com/.a/6a01156f7ea6f7970b01156f5d3ade970c-800wi
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zqP5jJs5fRY/TpQ3BHL3i8I/AAAAAAAACCQ/eFBek3_guEs/s1600/deliciouslywicked_cover.jpg

So, what is this genuine and important difference between sexualisation and male power fantasy? Is it only sexualisation when the pictures don't move?
 

CFriis87

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glider4 said:
Because Archie Comics really needed more Drama apparently. Seems like a stupid thing to sue over honestly but That CEO. Wow What a horrible person he must be. Seriously I should probably just kill myself for being a middle class white person because according to society that makes everything my fault and makes me the devil. Seriously "You don't get protection because of your skin colour and race." what a scumbag
I believe you mean she, not he... the scumbag CEO is a woman... by the biological definition of the word.
 

Silvanus

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CFriis87 said:
Oh my... would you just look at all these male power fantasies, clearly made to appeal to men and men alone:
http://scientopia.org/blogs/scicurious/files/2012/12/mcmullet.jpg
http://www.stepbystep.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Top-10-Most-Romantic-Novels7.jpg
http://htmlgiant.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Master-of-Desire.jpg
http://privatelibrary.typepad.com/.a/6a01156f7ea6f7970b01156f5d3ade970c-800wi
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zqP5jJs5fRY/TpQ3BHL3i8I/AAAAAAAACCQ/eFBek3_guEs/s1600/deliciouslywicked_cover.jpg

So, what is this genuine and important difference between sexualisation and male power fantasy? Is it only sexualisation when the pictures don't move?
This argument has already been used here [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.836616-Are-Men-Allowed-To-Be-Offended#20503745], on page 1, and I've already responded to it.

There will be a sexual component in novels like those, of course. It's part of their purpose, and that's the difference. That's quite clearly different from stripping characters down to stylised bikinis in genres and games that have no reason for it whatsoever.

And, for the third time now, I was talking about video games. If I believe there is an imbalance of gender representation in video games, then I'm not going to be proven wrong by examples of novels.
 

CFriis87

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Silvanus said:
CFriis87 said:
Oh my... would you just look at all these male power fantasies, clearly made to appeal to men and men alone:
http://scientopia.org/blogs/scicurious/files/2012/12/mcmullet.jpg
http://www.stepbystep.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Top-10-Most-Romantic-Novels7.jpg
http://htmlgiant.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Master-of-Desire.jpg
http://privatelibrary.typepad.com/.a/6a01156f7ea6f7970b01156f5d3ade970c-800wi
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zqP5jJs5fRY/TpQ3BHL3i8I/AAAAAAAACCQ/eFBek3_guEs/s1600/deliciouslywicked_cover.jpg

So, what is this genuine and important difference between sexualisation and male power fantasy? Is it only sexualisation when the pictures don't move?
This argument has already been used here [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.836616-Are-Men-Allowed-To-Be-Offended#20503745], on page 1, and I've already responded to it.

There will be a sexual component in novels like those, of course. It's part of their purpose, and that's the difference. That's quite clearly different from stripping characters down to stylised bikinis in genres and games that have no reason for it whatsoever.

And, for the third time now, I was talking about video games. If I believe there is an imbalance of gender representation in video games, then I'm not going to be proven wrong by examples of novels.
I fail to see how sexualisation of the male body in novels and sexualisation of the male body in videogames are in any way different from each other.
You say those pictures aren't sexualisation because it's romance? So as long as romance is involved, no amount of idealization of the opposite sex's body constitutes sexualisation? Are you actually friggin' kidding me?
"Comics make both sexes stereotypically attractive... and then, for women only, they make their outfits near-nonexistent, and consistently pose them so the camera can get a good long look at the cleavage or ass."
Could that possibly have something to do with the idealized male body not having a damn cleavage to emphasize? Or that heterosexual women aren't sexually attracted to female breasts and wide birthing hips?
Could it be that character design in videogames is mostly targeted at male gamers because the market for games that aren't Peggle and Candy Crush is mostly male gamers?
 

Harrowdown

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Men are perfectly entitled to be offended when a female employer singles them out for derision. However, one example of an abusive female boss is not evidence of a widespread, systematic victimisation of men in the workplace. Any man that claims otherwise is overstepping by a mile.
 

Silvanus

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CFriis87 said:
I fail to see how sexualisation of the male body in novels and sexualisation of the male body in videogames are in any way different from each other.
You say those pictures aren't sexualisation because it's romance? So as long as romance is involved, no amount of idealization of the opposite sex's body constitutes sexualisation? Are you actually friggin' kidding me?
You're imagining things. What I actually said was that sexualisation makes a little more sense when romance is a major theme, or the purpose of the material. When it isn't, when it's entirely gratuitous, that's when it seems (even more) cheap.

The men in those novels, for example, are presumably taking part in intimate situations. On the other hand, Star Sapphire chooses to wear ludicrously revealing clothes [http://images.ientrymail.com/devwebpro/tutorials/starsapphire/carolferris.jpg] when she's fighting space aliens. I'm sure you can see how while both are examples of sexualisation, the latter is gratuitous.

I also wonder why you're dredging up posts from the first page to misconstrue, rather than misconstruing something a little more recent.

CFriis87 said:
"Comics make both sexes stereotypically attractive... and then, for women only, they make their outfits near-nonexistent, and consistently pose them so the camera can get a good long look at the cleavage or ass."
Could that possibly have something to do with the idealized male body not having a damn cleavage to emphasize?
Well, no, because that doesn't explain why female characters are the ones far more often shown nearly-naked.

CFriis87 said:
Could it be that character design in videogames is mostly targeted at male gamers because the market for games that aren't Peggle and Candy Crush is mostly male gamers?
Though you're underestimating the female gaming market considerably [http://www.theesa.com/facts/pdfs/ESA_EF_2013.pdf], you're right that most games that feature sexualised women have men as the target audience.

...correct me if I'm wrong, but that's just restating the problem with a little context, isn't it?
 

Tradjus

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She's been calling men.. "Penis"?
I have literally never heard someone use that word as an insult in my entire life. If someone called me "Penis" I wouldn't be offended, I'd be -confused-. I'm pretty sure that she was actually calling them "Dick" or "Cock" and this is sanitized language for a family friendly article.
 

Strazdas

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Silvanus said:
Though you're underestimating the female gaming market considerably [http://www.theesa.com/facts/pdfs/ESA_EF_2013.pdf], you're right that most games that feature sexualised women have men as the target audience.

...correct me if I'm wrong, but that's just restating the problem with a little context, isn't it?
Not disagreeing with your general context or anything but the studies done in compliment shown a high disparity between type of games females and males play. Makes were much more (as in, 80%+) into the regular AAA genres, shooters, action, horror, ect. Females however completely dominated puzzle games and casual gaming. So while there may be 45% female gamers out there, most of them do not play the games people are talking about in such discussions.