Asking a girl's dad for permission to go out with his daughter

[Death God]

Of course. I've done it twice because I am just kind of old school like that.

 

[V TheSystem V]

If I were a father and someone asked if they could date my daughter, I'd only say no if he/she (I am not a homophobe. Any kids of mine turn out gay? So be it) looked or sounded like common filth who didn't care and only wanted sex.

Anyone who asked me that anyway, I would laugh in their face. If you want to go out with someone, go out with them! Only ask the parents if you want to marry them, not to date.

 

[Everin]

Of course. I've done it twice because I am just kind of old school like that.

You are the applaudable fellows I like to see around here

How old is the OP?

OP here. Im not asking for advice or anything like that, I've already asked her father's permission cause she wanted me to, I was just wondering what you would do if faced with that situation

 

[Flare Phoenix]

You're going out with the girl, not her father. If she is an adult, he has no right to tell you or her who to date. I see little to no reason to have to get her father's permission to date her. Any girl who askes you to do that is not worth having.

 

[A Curious Fellow]

Of course. I've done it twice because I am just kind of old school like that.

You are the applaudable fellows I like to see around here

How old is the OP?

OP here. Im not asking for advice or anything like that, I've already asked her father's permission cause she wanted me to, I was just wondering what you would do if faced with that situation

My current girlfriend's dad caught us in bed together and I'm not allowed in the house anymore. He'd kill me straight if he thought he'd get away with it.

 

[Computer-Noob]

A girl worth having won't give you ultimatums.

/thread. If a girl gives you that kind of conditions, toss her to the side of the road, cuz otherwise, sooner or later she'll do that to you.

Of course. Because being asked to do something so simple for someone you LOVE (It is implied by the OT that you, in fact, love her.) is worth tossing that person aside.


Really guys, its not that big a deal. If you don't have the balls to do this, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship, cause if you think THIS scenario is bad, just wait for future commitments. Not to mention that this kind of a thing may get you on the good side of her dad, which in almost all cases is good for you.

Well she supposedly loves you, but is willing to give you this ultimatum... If she's gonna put that over her love for you, doesn't that say something?

It says that the acceptance of her father means something to her. Also, nowhere in the OT did it say "Supposedly".

It says the acceptance of her father means more than her supposed love of you. The OT didn't say supposedly, but I'd say the situation warrants questioning it. I'm not convinced someone who really loved someone else would be giving that kind of ultimatum.

I would say it really depends. For example, if you're both young and in your teen years, if the father was opposed to the relationship it could effectively end it right there. If you were to ask permission from the father, it could make the difference between having a relationship or staying single. In that kind of a situation, it isn't that the acceptance matters more than the love, it means that without the acceptance, the relationship most likely wouldn't last. Thats just being realistic. So unless you want to have a forbidden love situation, which could quite possibly end very badly (See Romeo and Juliet), you could always not go with having that acceptance.

And for those situations when you aren't young, it seems like its way too hard to properly judge it all without taking each situation into individual account. Yes, I agree that it does seem rather arbitrary to do such a thing, but for whatever reason it could make the relationship much better in the end.

And I still stand by my opinion that this is an easy thing to do. Instead of bitching, you could always just grow a pair and do it. Some girls may take a lack of willingness as a sign that you'll have no capacity for future commitments and the like. So really, who's to blame in the end?

 

[Krantos]

My wife was very glad I didn't. In her opinion, it's her decision, no one else's. That's always been the kind of women I like. I like independence and spirit. Not someone who constantly needs others to make her decisions for her.

I mean what does a girl do if her father says no?

 

[Everin]

A girl worth having won't give you ultimatums.

/thread. If a girl gives you that kind of conditions, toss her to the side of the road, cuz otherwise, sooner or later she'll do that to you.

Of course. Because being asked to do something so simple for someone you LOVE (It is implied by the OT that you, in fact, love her.) is worth tossing that person aside.


Really guys, its not that big a deal. If you don't have the balls to do this, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship, cause if you think THIS scenario is bad, just wait for future commitments. Not to mention that this kind of a thing may get you on the good side of her dad, which in almost all cases is good for you.

Well she supposedly loves you, but is willing to give you this ultimatum... If she's gonna put that over her love for you, doesn't that say something?

She loves you, but she doesn't want to leave herself exposed or trust herself in someone that might turn out bad? Maybe that's it. Because girls, as much as I'm probably going to get attacked for this, prefer if they can be looked after in a relationship, and until they get into a serious relationship then it's their dad that's looking after them and their dad that's protecting them. Maybe the girls feel that they're moving away from their father, and they need to know that their father, who protects them, knows this guy is going to follow in his footsteps.

How is this fixing the problem of her leaving herself exposed or trusting someone that might turn out bad? This gesture fails to address either of those concerns. And your generalization is just that, a sexist generalization. And their dad can still look after them. Asking the dad doesn't somehow give him special powers he didn't otherwise have. Assuming the girl even sees her dad as protecting her and whatnot, which is a big assumption.

If all of you here can just laugh and dump a girl when she's asking you to just show her you can look after her, then maybe that shows us all something. Just sayin'. But I'm not looking for a fight here, just showing my opinion.

It's more like dumping her after she tells you what you better do if she's not gonna dump you. If she can make ultimatums why exactly is the guy not allowed to?

So you believe that the girl shouldn't be able to ask the guy to ask her dad's permission. Is that what you believe? Do you believe that chivalry is dead? What's the difference between talking to her parents before a relation and holding the door open for a girl when she walks through or standing up when a woman enters the room or holding a chair out for them? Call me old fashioned, but a women still deserves to be treated with respect and kindness.
I believe that if you love the woman, then she should be able to ask you to meet her parents and ask their permission. If you love her then it's not even a big deal, it's practically just you meeting her parents and them getting to know you.
But some people don't like meeting parents, maybe that's the problem here.

 

[Everin]

Of course. I've done it twice because I am just kind of old school like that.

You are the applaudable fellows I like to see around here

How old is the OP?

OP here. Im not asking for advice or anything like that, I've already asked her father's permission cause she wanted me to, I was just wondering what you would do if faced with that situation

My current girlfriend's dad caught us in bed together and I'm not allowed in the house anymore. He'd kill me straight if he thought he'd get away with it.

Oh. Did he know that you guys were going out, or was it the first time realising that? Maybe he's just a whackjob.

 

[Tulks]

People still do that?
I didn't meet most of my girlfriends' fathers 'til weeks after we started seeing each other, if at all.

 

[A Curious Fellow]

Of course. I've done it twice because I am just kind of old school like that.

You are the applaudable fellows I like to see around here

How old is the OP?

OP here. Im not asking for advice or anything like that, I've already asked her father's permission cause she wanted me to, I was just wondering what you would do if faced with that situation

My current girlfriend's dad caught us in bed together and I'm not allowed in the house anymore. He'd kill me straight if he thought he'd get away with it.

Oh. Did he know that you guys were going out, or was it the first time realising that? Maybe he's just a whackjob.

You kidding? If I was in his position and it was some prick with my daughter, I'd do worse.

 

[RobfromtheGulag]

To date her? It's you and her, I don't see where the father comes into it. If you want to be old timey you can ask him when you get to the marriage bit, but even that's pushing it in this day and age.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

A girl worth having won't give you ultimatums.

/thread. If a girl gives you that kind of conditions, toss her to the side of the road, cuz otherwise, sooner or later she'll do that to you.

Of course. Because being asked to do something so simple for someone you LOVE (It is implied by the OT that you, in fact, love her.) is worth tossing that person aside.


Really guys, its not that big a deal. If you don't have the balls to do this, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship, cause if you think THIS scenario is bad, just wait for future commitments. Not to mention that this kind of a thing may get you on the good side of her dad, which in almost all cases is good for you.

Really girls, stop thinking you have to put us through completely pointless tests in order to get us to prove our love to you. I mean really, what are you going to do if your father says no? "Well I really love you, but since my father said no we're going to have to break up". It's completely rediculous.

 

[Everin]

Of course. I've done it twice because I am just kind of old school like that.

You are the applaudable fellows I like to see around here

How old is the OP?

OP here. Im not asking for advice or anything like that, I've already asked her father's permission cause she wanted me to, I was just wondering what you would do if faced with that situation

My current girlfriend's dad caught us in bed together and I'm not allowed in the house anymore. He'd kill me straight if he thought he'd get away with it.

Oh. Did he know that you guys were going out, or was it the first time realising that? Maybe he's just a whackjob.

You kidding? If I was in his position and it was some prick with my daughter, I'd do worse.

So you hadnt met him yet? That seems like a natural course of action for him then. Are you and her still together?

 

[PlowmanMk]

I would ask for her fathers permission. it is a little old fashioned, but yeah it would be worth it. As long as im not paying a dowry of 2 goats, a pig and a duck.

Im not saying it would be easy. The fear of rejection is a common problem. Fortunately some people are very charismatic, and sometimes her father might just be an understanding or easy-natured person. I know if i had a daughter and her boyfriend asked me for permission, id be pretty impressed while also finding his effort quite funny

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Any girl that requires me to "prove" myself to her, or even hints at it, is a waste of time. The second she even mentions something about me "proving" myself I'm just going to laugh and dump her.

So, you're basically not willing at all to fight for a relationship that you're in? Thats what I'm getting from this. If you can just laugh and dump someone so easily, I think the problem is you.

No! Personally I am not willing to fight a battle some girl is choosing to start. Any girl that needs her daddy's permission to date someone has some serious growing up to do. Honestly I'll never understand why people want to get into relationships...