Aversion to Children

[Paragon Fury]

So while this relates to my earlier thread (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.845070-Aversion-to-Sex?page=1), I felt this would probably deserve its own topic.

A couple of days ago I was talking to someone I went to college with whose wife is pregnant and it came up that I don't really like kids. Everyone in the conversation thought this was weird and wrong. And others, including family members thought it was dumb too.

"Oh, how can you not like children? You were a child once you know!"

Yes, and I apologize for that. But is it really that odd? I just don't like children - or even the idea of someone getting pregnant - at all.

I don't like crying, screaming infants. Or the messes they make. Or the sleeplessness they cause. Or how they look. Or how their default setting is "annoy" for the first part of their existence. Or how expensive they are. Or how much time they require. Or how useless they are personally to me, or anyone else for that matter. Or really anything about them in general.

And I don't like the idea of what pregnancy could do someone I cared about. The sickness, the pain, the mental issues, the body deformation, the cost and time........none of those rank on the "List of Things I'd Do To someone I Care About". They DO rank on the "List of Things I'd Do To My Enemies", but not someone I care about.

If I didn't already have issues with sex (as talked about in the previous thread) - the idea that I could ruin not only my own life but the life of two other people because I didn't say "No" to sex would be enough to keep me off of it forever. And I have thought/inquired about getting a vasectomy to make sure it wouldn't be an issue if by some accident I ever did have sex, but;

1 - They're quite expensive
2 - A good deal of medical insurance and medical payment plans don't cover "Sterilization Procedures" because they're not "medically necessary" and "elective surgeries" meaning you've got to pony up that cash up front.

And what makes it worse is I know "No kids" is a pretty big turn off for a lot of women, so I'm just kneecapping myself again in the relationship department. But is it really so strange to just not like children or want anything to do with them?

 

[JoJo]

I don't think it's really strange, and I say that as someone who generally prefers children over adults, though both have advantages in different areas. Everyone's different and children can really be demanding to look after, I can emphasise why you wouldn't want any for yourself.

Still, what I will say is that you're only in your early to mid 20's according to your profile and that many people change their mind about having children as they get older and priorities change. Indeed, quite a few parents I know dislike all children except their own. I wouldn't recommend getting any permanent surgery just yet in case you change your mind in the future, contraception is very effective these days and abortions are always an option if an accident happens and your partner really doesn't want that baby.

 

[lee1287]

it's not strange to dislike children at all. They're loud and annoying, though I would like a child of my own one day, I'm hoping if it's my child I won't get annoyed by the screaming or annoyance as much, if that makes sense.

 

[Euryalus]

I get how people can not want children, I get how people can have phobias about pregnancy, and I can get how you would rather hang out with people more your age.

What I don't get and it bothers me quite a bit despite rarely speaking up about it is things like this

They're loud and annoying

"Oh, how can you not like children? You were a child once you know!"

Yes, and I apologize for that. But is it really that odd?

I don't mean to pick on either of you so much as your phrasing.

To take an entire group of people and judge them not based on individual merit, but by their membership in a group they aren't harming anyone by being in, is wrong.

Not particularly malicious in this case I'd assume, but faulty none the less.

There are plenty of kids I dislike, but to do anything other then judge them individually just sucks as a way of thinking.

 

[Artina89]

I am a woman, and I don't like kids and I have no desire to have kids either, as I love travelling and I don't really want to take any kids with me, and I agree, kids are very expensive and I like to spend my money on myself and my interests, and I don't want to bring a child into the world when I can be very childish myself. In short, I am not a very good role model.

 

[TakerFoxx]

I don't mind kids, I just don't want to be left alone with them, especially not as the one in charge. I would not know what to do at all.

 

[krazykidd]

I hate kids, i was a kid once yeah, and more than a few times i deserved to get the snot slapped out of me. I wasn't a perticularly bad kid ( i couldn't be with my parents), but looking back , god i was annoying.

What i hate the most is that you CANNOT do anything to a child regardless of what he/she/it does. A kid could literally kick/scream/sling poop and whoever he wants and UNLESS the parents do something about it, which more often than not they don't, therenis nothing you can do. Because kids are apparently sacred . Man fuck kids ! [small]( not litterally of course).[/small]

 

[Schadrach]

2 - A good deal of medical insurance and medical payment plans don't cover "Sterilization Procedures" because they're not "medically necessary" and "elective surgeries" meaning you've got to pony up that cash up front.

If you are in the US then this depends on your sex.

Sterilization (tubal ligation or vasectomy) is considered a contraceptive technology by the FDA, so guess what the Affordable Care Act requires health insurance to cover for women? But not for men, because the mandate in the ACA only requires coverage for contraceptives for women (because equality).

 

[lacktheknack]

Yes, it is strange to not want to have anything to do with children. Children are supposed to elicit "Aww, cute" reactions from people, people are supposed to want kids, and people are supposed to be tolerant of young child shenanigans, because that's optimal from an evolutionary perspective.

Of course, you already have an aversion to sex, so in terms of evolution, you're already thoroughly broken.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Most of the time, I adore children if they are being raised correctly. I have six nieces and nephews that I would die for, and I love my friends children.
I'm happy when kids like me, especially if they're of great importance to me (like my best friends niece who was cuddling up to me this morning and telling me she loved me).
They can bring so much happiness and brightness to your day, little girls seem to really like me, sometimes it's because they say my hair looks like Princess Ariel's.

However, I do not want children. Ever since I've matured sexually I've wavered between I do and don't and for the past few years I've stuck with "don't."

The reason being, I would simply not be a good enough parent. I couldn't give them the love and upbringing they deserve. I get stressed easily and like to be left alone sometimes which is hard with a child. I want to travel the world in my own time and work my own hours. I love very easily and I'll do anything for them but I think I'm too selfish for a kid. I don't like being woken up or dealing with sicky things and there's always financial worries. I've always battled with depression and I don't think any child should deal with a parent like that.

The physical problems scare me too. I'm a complete pansy, any sort of pain terrifies me. The thought of carrying a baby, getting poked and prodded and blood taken and cramps and having to actually push a baby out horrifies me. My pain threshold is awful.
I'm sure someone will say it's not as bad as I think but I've got it into my head that it is and that's really put me off.

 

[Eamar]

Another woman who, bar some complete and utter disaster, will not be having kids here - I totally get where you're coming from, OP. Especially the pregnancy part. I'm genuinely phobic of pregnancy, I can't even be around pregnant women, and getting pregnant is genuinely my worst nightmare. Needless to say, I take contraception incredibly seriously. At least, being bisexual, I have the option of having same-sex relationships/encounters where that's not an issue.

I also don't like babies at all. They kind of freak me out, actually. I've been avoiding seeing my cousin's new baby for about a year now. As for older kids, there have been a few I've liked well enough, but generally speaking I find them irritating. I'm sure I won't have a problem spending time with any future nieces and nephews, but that's about as far as it goes.

And while we're at it, don't even get me started on teenagers... they're fucking awful. Yeah, I was one only a few years ago. I was fucking awful. I cannot apologise enough for my teenage self, and I was a pretty good kid.

So yeah. Kids: necessary, and wonderful for other people I'm sure, but none for me thanks.

 

[Generalissimo]

I don't mind kids so long as they're well behaved, but start grizzling and i'm done.

 

[Tanis]

I think there's a lot of people who are like this, but they feel the 'need to breed' thanks to biology.

I hate little kids.
I hate the cost.
I hate the germs.
I hate the lack of communication skills.
etc

 

[crazygameguy4ever]

i'm not too fond of kids.. I don't mind my niece and nephews.. but other then that?.. can't stand them.. kids get on my nerves too easily... even my niece and nephews can get on my nerves sometimes... but i have no desire to ever have a kid.. ever...

 

[V4Viewtiful]

I like kids 12 or under just fine.

But by 14ish I realised my age group (me included) where a bunch of a-holes so I never really liked young people to that affect.

I worked in a nursery so I suppose I have saintly patients or something

 

[Elvis Starburst]

I'm one of those people that curses in their heads when a young child/baby is remotely around the area I'm in, trying to enjoy myself. I saw 2 kids on the airplane I was on last week, one of them right behind me, and I was just about to flip out if I didn't have my sound cancelling headphones. I can't stand them. Not to mention that the stuff like money and putting myself through so much just for the kid to be brought up right sounds like a real pain in the ass.

That's not to say they can't be cute sometimes. I'll admit I've smiled at some of them, and stuff they've done. But that is an extremely rare occasion. Everything else is just me wanting them to stop. I keep telling myself I might change my mind in my 30's. The day I do that is the day I throw my life upside down with a kid.

Side note: I was an absolute pain in the ass as a kid. Like, extremely. I feel bad for my parents putting up with me and my crap. I don't think I can imagine having a kid and doing that to myself.

 

[Fsyco]

I think there's a lot of people who are like this, but they feel the 'need to breed' thanks to biology.

Need to Breed needs to become a movie title. Probably a creampie-themed porno. Some kind of sci-fi horror type thing also works, but those aren't mutually exclusive.

On Topic: I also hate children, hate parents with obnoxious, child-focused life views, and 'anti-child' shaming (when people go "You NEED to have a kid"). I sort of get where they're coming from (in the same sense that I get where my Grandpa is coming from when he says he has the mystic ability to absorb moisture through rain water) but it's really obnoxious. I borrowed Yahtzee's comeback whenever people say "You were a child once!", which is "Yes, but I had the strength to overcome my disability". Stops them dead every time.

That might just be my background, though. My mother remarried and had two extremely obnoxious spoiled children, and would use them to as excuses to torment me (IE, put me in charge of them and then yell at me for disciplining them when one throws something at the other), so now I just despise kids. It was also seemed generally hellish having to raise the little bastards.

I'm also concerned about overpopulation in general, so there's that. Don't want any more people running around hogging resources. Captain Planet would be proud.

 

[Evil Moo]

Children are pretty much the epitome of everything I dislike. High pitched, noisy, messy, unpredictable, uncontrollable, selfish, ignorant, not at all self sufficient, expensive, demanding in so many ways and of so many resources, and all efficient methods of removal tend to be illegal and frowned upon by society.

There may be a small minority that can be somewhat more tolerable, but the thought of having one of my own makes me feel physically sick. I'd be ruining my life in that I'd have to waste the rest of it serving a tormenting creature of my own creation, I'd ruin the life of whoever ended up pregnant for much the same reasons, plus the pregnancy itself which seems like all kinds of hell, and I'd ruin the life of the child by bringing them into existence in this horrible world and inevitably being generally incompetent and intolerant when it comes to raising a child. I barely bother to take care of myself, I don't think a child is something I should be anywhere near, for the safety of all involved, never mind responsible for one to such a degree as parenthood. I'm definitely missing some instinct somewhere, because children are far more likely to insight murderous rage in me than anything close to affection.

I would be a lot happier if there were no children in the world.