Awesome one liners

[Gerazzi]

You guys really suck at remembering quotes.

No chance you unreasonable dicks
-Yahtzee

 

[Daveman]

what's the time? time you got a watch.

sometimes classics are just classic

 

[FlyAwayAutumn]

"Who needs courage when you've got, A GUN!" -Me when my friend said I had no courage

Edit: On a side note, if Duke Nukem says it, it deserves to be put in the awesome one liners museum. Seriously anything that man says is just fried GOLD.

 

[Toaster Hunter]

Lock and load. We'll make up the rest as we go along
- Kara "Starbuck" Thrace

 

[kiwisushi]

"People are dying, we need guns" Alien VS Predator 2

 

[goofiegirl2002]

Hey baby, want some Adam West penis? - Mayor Adam West - Family Guy

 

[TundraWolf]

"I remember when I used to be into nostalgia." - Demetri Martin

Best. One-liner. Ever.

 

[Mockingjay]

'What crawled up your ass and died' - me

 

[Deathsong17]

Your an inspiration for birth control - Duke Nukem.

 

[Buhhchester_United]

"You've just been Quattroed"- Gene Hunt, Ashes to Ashes

 

[KaiRai]

The tooth fairy gave me an option of a big penis or a long memory, I can't remember which one I chose.

Stewart Francis

I'd like to dedicate this to my dad, he was a roofer, so dad, if you're up there....

You know you're a smoker when cigarettes change from drunken pleasure to daily essential.

I'm not a passive smoker, I'm glad they've banned it in pubs....but why do I feel so terribly on edge?

The list goes on

EDIT: "The height of mixed emotions, watching your mother in law's head crash off the hood of your new Mercedes" - Godfather, cannae remember which one

 

[Ventuquies]

Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
- from a monkey

 

[Goldeneye103X2]

Fuck you asshole!

OR

Put that cookie down!

Both by the one and only arnie.

 

[MrLumber]

"Damn aliens, diggin' holes in my backyard!"-Arguably the greatest one-liner ever.
"Damn you Mothership! Did we wake you up?"
"How can something that big crawl up a wall like that?"
"Oh no! Tiny's been killed!"
"Yeah! That's one enemy down!"

The list goes on and on from the classic Earth Defense Force 2017.
If you've ever played the game you know why the last one is funny.

 

[Jang]

"Hey baby... wanna tune my mandaline?"

Wait? This is the pick-up line thread, right?

 

[ArcWinter]

"I will kung-fu a *****!
You mean skreem liek bich
It's how I express my killing rage, brah!"

And anything else that Player says (from The Leet World, look it up on youtube).

 

[Queen Michael]

"You're a walking reason to legalize retroactive abortions."

 

[Ventuquies]

"How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?"
I laughted so hard over this one

The first one who knows where I heard it gets a virtual cookie.
Hint: MS

 

[Jade Rotaski]

Tean Fortress two hads some of the best taunts! Scout, Demoman and soilders are probably my fave

"Oh theyre going to have to put you back together...in HELL!" -Demoman
"Don't fret Boyo. I'll be gentle! -Demoman
"YOUR ALL BLOODY DEAD! -Demoman
"You ladies outgha brought some menfolk with ya" - Engineer
"Come'ere sissy! -Engineer
"Son Im gonna blow that dumb look right fof your stupid face"- Engineer
"You are so small, its funny to me!- Heavy
"WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!"- Heavy
"I was told we would be fighting MEN!"- Heavy
"I hear somone building diaper changing station!- Heavy
"I spy...uh I do not think we brought enough body bags"-Medic
"I healed ze man who will KILL you" -Medic
"Perpare for your...examination *Evil laughter" -Medic
"Yeah why dont you come over here and say that to my face tough guy?"- Scout
"Say goodby to your kneecaps chucklehead" -Scout
"Oh hey! YOU SUCK!" -Scout
"Im gonna plant one right between yer eyes you punter" -Sniper
Thanks for standing still...wanker" -Sniper
Im gonna blow the insides of your head all over four counties" -Sniper
"Time to inform your next of Kin! -Soilder
"I am going to enjoy killing each and every one oif you sorry sacks of scum!" -Soilder
"If god had wanted you to live he would not have created ME"- Soilder
"I'm going to strangle you with your own frilly training bra!- soilder
"Promise not to get blood on mky suit and I'll kill you quickly" -Spy
"May i make a suggestion? RUN"- Spy
"This WILL be the last time you see me"- Spy.

 

[messy]

This shit just got real - Hot fuzz (yes i know it's bad boys but Pegg does it so much better)