Awkward and Useless Superpowers
- Thread starter Smithburg
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On another board someone once called me icefarted, so I suppose the power of icy farts would be pretty useless and awkward.
The amazing power TO... shit biscuits. So whenever you go to the loo to have a dump, instead of fecal matter coming out it's hobnobs and jammie dodgers. They are perfectly edible, a bit crumby but they're still tasty biscuits. So, if you're in a party and you've all run out of biscuits you can just pull down your trousers and shit a few digestives out. Actually this superpower sounds awesome! I must find a way to replace my shit with biscuits!
The clothes beam- a concentrated beam of energy which, upon making contact with a target will randomly change their clothes to something else. At worst, it's embarrassing, at best...pretty stylish. But, it isn't necessary that USEFUL as far as super powers go.
I would say becoming a renowned, rich archaeologist, who travels the world uncovering lost civilizations sounds rather fun!Powereaver said:
OT: The ability to attract insects in a sexual manner.
shit everything you see.
super strength, but only when your hands are in your pockets.
can quick draw a pistol super fast, but only if the gun's unloaded.
super strength, but only when your hands are in your pockets.
can quick draw a pistol super fast, but only if the gun's unloaded.
To have a Superhero name like Ultimate Man Supreme with the power of dissapointment. By merely talking to someone he is able to fail ALL of your expectations!
Invisibility that only works when you're screaming at the top of your lungs.
Super speed is pretty useless but imagine super speed that only worked while you slept.
The ability to hear the next word someone is going to say in your head, but your ears still work so you just have a one word delay on conversation you have like your waring bad earphones.
The ability to always say the appropriate quote from Monty Python for any given situation.
The ability to shrink down really small but you re-grow at normal speed.
The ability to hold in your poo indefinitely but it just kept getting more and more uncomfortable.
Mind control that only works on your self.
Super powerful Xray vision. I mean really really powerful so you see through everything and the entire world just looks blank.
The power to bring back Arrested Development but it wouldn't be funny any more.
The power to come up with a perfect zinger 4 seconds after it stopped mattering (I have that one)
The ability to "beat" Minecraft.
The ability to go back in time 60 seconds but with out your memory so you're unable to change anything.
The ability to psychically move your keys, but only away from you.
The ability to make a bad stench that only you can smell.
The ability to come up with a bunch of random useless super powers for an internet forum thread.
Super speed is pretty useless but imagine super speed that only worked while you slept.
The ability to hear the next word someone is going to say in your head, but your ears still work so you just have a one word delay on conversation you have like your waring bad earphones.
The ability to always say the appropriate quote from Monty Python for any given situation.
The ability to shrink down really small but you re-grow at normal speed.
The ability to hold in your poo indefinitely but it just kept getting more and more uncomfortable.
Mind control that only works on your self.
Super powerful Xray vision. I mean really really powerful so you see through everything and the entire world just looks blank.
The power to bring back Arrested Development but it wouldn't be funny any more.
The power to come up with a perfect zinger 4 seconds after it stopped mattering (I have that one)
The ability to "beat" Minecraft.
The ability to go back in time 60 seconds but with out your memory so you're unable to change anything.
The ability to psychically move your keys, but only away from you.
The ability to make a bad stench that only you can smell.
The ability to come up with a bunch of random useless super powers for an internet forum thread.
That just makes me wonder what qualifies as a limb. Obviously arms, most likely legs, but what about his head? Or his... manly bits? Does he have any sensation or control after detaching? Would detaching his head pretty much kill him if his friends don't stick it back on in a few seconds? Depending on the required secondary powers, arm-fall-off-boy could be useful.rhizhim said:
Well whenever I go into a room or try to talk to a girl they either all disappear or can't hear me.
I Bow to the People who retorted my idea.. because they are quite right.. i didnt think that way 
now i need to come up with another one thanks to them.
now i need to come up with another one thanks to them.
Y'know, I don't understand people who complain about someone overthinking things in a thread about superpowers. I could just as easily point out that contemplating the most awkward and useless superpowers is overthinking superpowers in general. I get just as much entertainment value out of analyzing "arm fall off boy" as everyone else here does dreaming up useless super powers.rhizhim said:
I would point out in my analysis that the head is jointed, specifically along the neck and where the skull meets the neck. Thus it could be considered a "jointed appendage". I'll grant the manly bits are an appendage that is neither jointed nor prehensile, and so would not be considered a limb. However, I would also point out in my analysis that arm-fall-off-boy may not accurately know his own powers, and may have actually meant "appendage" rather than "limb". Especially if he's never tried detaching other appendages.
turning into the hulk after eating tons of junk food. when you turn back you keep the weight and turn back again if you get even slightly hungry with a massive craving for junk food.
acidic ejaculate
being able to turn your testicles into iron. they are no longer a part of you after that and fall off.
being able to sprout uncuttable armpit,crotch, andback hair that grows at an accelerated rate. it grows even faster on hot days.
turning into a bear.And not the animal kind either.
acidic ejaculate
being able to turn your testicles into iron. they are no longer a part of you after that and fall off.
being able to sprout uncuttable armpit,crotch, andback hair that grows at an accelerated rate. it grows even faster on hot days.
turning into a bear.And not the animal kind either.
Steven Wright can make birds levitate.
The ability to tell exactly what somebody would look like if they were bald.
Or to know how many people are in a room without looking.
The ability to fart and make it sound like it came from across the room.
You have perfect comedic timing, but only at funerals.
You can predict what the next XKCD comic will be about.
You have super hearing, but only when people are talking about you behind your back.
The ability to tell exactly what somebody would look like if they were bald.
Or to know how many people are in a room without looking.
The ability to fart and make it sound like it came from across the room.
You have perfect comedic timing, but only at funerals.
You can predict what the next XKCD comic will be about.
You have super hearing, but only when people are talking about you behind your back.