Awkward and Useless Superpowers
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The ability to undress very quickly.
The ability to irresistibly attract the opposite sex when you yawn.
The ability to avoid drowning. (Good job!)
The ability to irresistibly attract the opposite sex when you yawn.
The ability to avoid drowning. (Good job!)
The power of flight coupled with an extreme fear of heights.
Super speed, but slow reflexes and incredibly clumsy/trip-prone.
Super strength, but paralyzed from the neck down.
Mental control over insects, but only up to five at a time.
Shrinking power, not reversible.
Thought projection, one way reverse telepathy. Cannot turn off.
The ability to emit a high pitched sonic screech, cannot damage ear human ear drums nor shatter glass, no capability beyond mild annoyance.
I could do this all day.
Super speed, but slow reflexes and incredibly clumsy/trip-prone.
Super strength, but paralyzed from the neck down.
Mental control over insects, but only up to five at a time.
Shrinking power, not reversible.
Thought projection, one way reverse telepathy. Cannot turn off.
The ability to emit a high pitched sonic screech, cannot damage ear human ear drums nor shatter glass, no capability beyond mild annoyance.
I could do this all day.
1. sharpen those babies and get to clawing.mathsisfun said:
2. Yeah, southpark . .
3. Still useful, steal things; just don't let people know you are.
4. Simply deprive yourself of any and all entertainment.
5. Could be useful is you could reuse the power very very rapidly.
6. . . . you got me there. . . maybe it'd make a great party gag?
Assuming that's the only restriction, it would be fairly simple to still raise an insect army. All you need to do is control the queens of each hive you want to use at any given time. Now, if the insects revolt against you as soon as they're released...DragonStorm247 said:
OT: The ability to perfectly quote any amusing line from any movie you've ever seen in a given situation.
The ability to distinguish and analyze every single separate note in every song ever created, but only while working as a garbage man.
The ability to drink six hundred cans of Coke a day.
Deadly ability with a waffle iron, but it only works when used on yourself.
The ability to turn dollar bills into animated objects that then proceed to fly away and are never seen again.
The ability to have conversations with your conscience, which only turns up when you're about to do something you're going to immensely regret.
The ability to immediately suck all humor from an entire room just by entering.
The ability to make everyone around you yawn, by yawning yourself.
The ability to exactly copy any other person's voice, but only while you're showering.
An ability that acts like a GPS to your wallet, but when you don't have your wallet on you it makes your rear glow a bright red and beep very loudly every few seconds.
The ability to do hilarious improv comedy, but only during maudlin occasions.
The ability to perfectly emulate a banjo with your vocal chords.
The ability to act like you give a damn about somebody else's piddly-ass problems. 24/7.
Here're a few I got from Strong Bad, all about shape-shifting:
You can turn into a machine gun but not bullets, and contemporary jazz turns you back.
You can only turn into presents your grandma has knitted for you.
You can turn into any species... OF BALLOON ANIMAL! And there's this big sound effect that goes "DWAYNE!" every time you change forms.
This one I came up with myself:
You have absolute stealth, i.e. no one can see or hear you, as long as you follow around an unaware musician who is playing a large sousaphone as loud as they can. When you stop following them, even for a second, you become visible again. Yes, it HAS to be a sousaphone. No other instrument will do. Not even a tuba.
Or:
You become immune to slashing, piercing and blunt force whenever there is a star within 100 metres of you.
You can turn into a machine gun but not bullets, and contemporary jazz turns you back.
You can only turn into presents your grandma has knitted for you.
You can turn into any species... OF BALLOON ANIMAL! And there's this big sound effect that goes "DWAYNE!" every time you change forms.
This one I came up with myself:
You have absolute stealth, i.e. no one can see or hear you, as long as you follow around an unaware musician who is playing a large sousaphone as loud as they can. When you stop following them, even for a second, you become visible again. Yes, it HAS to be a sousaphone. No other instrument will do. Not even a tuba.
Or:
You become immune to slashing, piercing and blunt force whenever there is a star within 100 metres of you.
How about I specify right now, then? Yes, I DID mean celestial bodies. Thank you.JEBWrench said:
If I meant stars as in celebrities, it'd be awkward, but not really useless. And stars as in the shape? Man, that'd actually be pretty good.
My friends, there is no super hero with a more useless ability than that of 20/20 hindsight (basically, pointing out things in a given situation that COULD have been done differently in that situation.)
I give you, Captain Hindsight.
I give you, Captain Hindsight.
Invisibility itself is useless, if your eyes were invisible you'd be blind.
Here's one for you: the ability to know exactly how many jellybeans/jolly ranchers are in the jar, thus winning you the jar of candy. :I
Here's one for you: the ability to know exactly how many jellybeans/jolly ranchers are in the jar, thus winning you the jar of candy. :I