Back In My Day....

[Dorian]

Welcome back! It's Portal's second Forum Game. This time, it won't get locked, and shall remain awesome until the day it dies. Want to play? Guess what.
YOU DON'T GOT THE OVARIES!
[sup]See what I did there? I pumped you up![/sup]

Here's how it plays out. You know how old people ramble on, thinking back to the days of their youth? Well, now you ARE one! Someone will say something related to today's age, and then you'll say what it was like in YOUR day!

Santa Clause is coming tonight!

Back in my day, we didn't get presents on Christmas. We had to make our own things out of coal. Then one day, some jerk stole our mountain of it! He started ransoming it back to us if we were horrible people, and put it in socks for some reason when we got it back. Crazy guy.

Cars go pretty bloody fast.....

Back in my day, we had to WALK places! And we didn't have your fancy-shmancy shoes, either! We had to walk barefoot. Across the glass factory. Carrying dumbbells.

My teeth hurt.

Okay, you got it? You sure? You better, otherwise I'm throwing this cane at you! Now to get this thread GOING!

We made a black hole in China!

 

[COR 2000]

Back in mah day, we didn't have no black holes! No sirrie! All was had we sstars and suns and the Helliocentric theory.

We just made an awesome howitzer! High five!

(I guess)

 

[Dorian]

Back in my day, we didn't have any stinkin' canons! We just THREW the rocks at em! Served them right.

A sheep got cloned! AND IT LIVED!

 

[Angrywyvern]

Back in my day, black holes didn't have the luxury of being made by the Chinese all the time. They had to make their own damn selves. So, every day, they'd each suck up 50 cows from Mongolian pastures, eat them, and use the feces as manure to grow corn high enough to touch the sky. Then, they'd stare at a wall for 5 hours straight until a new black hole materialized, and, using the corn as a ladder, would place the new black hole in the sky. 20 years later that black hole would come down to earth and help create more black holes every day, until Churchill declared war on black holes in 1872! But that's a story for another day.

Bill Gates is a ninja!

 

[Angrywyvern]

edit: double ninja'd

 

[Jedamethis]

Back in my day, we didn't 'ave no ninjas or sheep clonin, we had to make the sheeps again, and them Japanese chaps were too far to walk to, so we didn't bother

Sticks are weak these days

 

[Dorian]

Back in my day, sticks were made of solid steel! Nothing would break them! Sometimes we used them as fire pokers and played catch with them. Sure, not many of us lived, but it was fun back then.

Segways are fun to drive around on.

 

[Angrywyvern]

Back in my day, there was only one, immortal sheep, we called it Shamus, and worshipped it like a god. Every sunday we would build a new church for Shamus in the same spot out of a different material. Soon we had to resort to being extremely specific, like using 28% pure gold one day and 27% pure gold the next. Anyway, the story of how more sheep where made is a long one that I can't tell because my feet hurt. So, I will just say that Shamus fell in love with a different strange animal called a yeloodle, and they had babies, which everybody called sheep. And now you whipper snappers and cloning sheep by artificial means.... it's sad.

Some new cars can go into water!

 

[Angrywyvern]

edit: double ninja'd

 

[Guitar Gamer]

WEEEEEELL back in MY day!: the sticks were so tough you could scrape off grandmas bunyins with 'em! of course that was when the old folks HAD bunyins! were was I?! oh yaa the sticks! why when the fell off tree's the ground rumbled! that was when we had sticks! now they're to weak!

 

[Angrywyvern]

Back in my day, segways where about as fun to drive around on as a goat, not very. They went as slow as snails, and where amazingly always at the same altitude, even when you went on hills, it didn't go up or down, that would be exciting, it just went through the hill!

A doctor gave me laser eye surgery

 

[Angrywyvern]

wait, nevermind, one man is talking about sticks still

(ninja'd cancelled)

 

[theshadow308]

"Laser eye surgery?!" Pah! Back in my day, we 'ad to fix our eyes by pokin' em with knives! And if ye' sneezed while it were bein' done, then SPLAT, no more eyes fer you! Heh heh heh!

Ahh I got me a nice bottle o' coke!

 

[Dorian]

Back in my day, we didn't have laser eye surgery. Or even eye surgery. Or surgery! We just used rocks. Pointy rocks.
Back in my day, we didn't have coke. We drank horse lemonade, and darn well liked it, too!
[sup]Be sure you're pressing EDIT, people![/sup]

Cookies are in mass production!

 

[Angrywyvern]

Back in my day, cookies where still in mass production, but from a different source. The companies kidnapped an army of 1,000 grandmas, and gave them all their very own forest cottages. IN these cottages every single grandma had to bake cookies 24/7, so that the vile corporate cookie tycoons could push a profit.

Factory farms hurt animals!

 

[Dorian]

Back in my day, we didn't have farm factories. Well, we did, but it was called a farm. You helped an animal live, then when it loved you with its entire life, you cut off its head, ripped it apart, hung it in bits above a fire, and ate it when you pleased.
Good times......

Trees have become small.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

well back in MY day the tree's were so big you had to fend off the Brontosaurases so they wouldn't eat them!

the Marajuana today is too potent

 

[Angrywyvern]

Back in my day marijuana was as potent as it was today. Not much changed. Hey, it's pot.

The cops scanned my hand for my fingerprints.

 

[Dorian]

Back in my day, we didn't have fingerprints. We had gloves. Gloves made of ROCK. They were bastards to get on, but they worked.

The TV doesn't have anything on today.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

well back in MY day television was called holographic imagry! of course that was when warp drives were legal now your a "terroist" when you break the light barrier

they have lazors on cars today