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LCP

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Dec 24, 2008
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Hello guys, first day here and i wanted to share a site that has brought me endless, laughter and joy. http://objectiveministries.org/zounds/gaming.html

Perhaps a joke, or legit? you be the judge
 

Avatar Roku

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Jul 9, 2008
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Good god...

It's like Doom, only it doesn't turn players into murderers

EDIT:Wow, I didn't even see the irony in the first part of my post.
 

Avatar Roku

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Jul 9, 2008
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My god read this part:
Much has been written about Doom, especially its role in causing the Columbine High School massacre. It is a violent game filled with dark, Satanic imagery that desensitizes young players to murder and the Devil. Everyone knows this so I won't go over all that again. Instead, I would like to point out the real tragedy with Doom was what could have been. In the Doom series, you play a U.S. Marine who fights the forces of Satan. While you use violence, it is only against demons. On its own this would be a positive thing as it reinforces the role of our Christian military in spreading the Light of God throughout the world and opposing the Satanic forces that would do us harm. Unfortunately, the game's maker, John Carmack, is an Atheist. This means that he had no clue what he was doing when he used this idea as the central narrative of his game. Instead of highlighting the positive aspects of Spiritual Warfare and uplifting people to become Warriors for Christ, his Atheistic ignorance of the Bible let him become a conduit for Satan to sensationalize the demonic enemies, actually making them seductive to youth! I know this because, before I was saved, I played Doom. I was entranced by the Satanic imagery and violence. I thank the Lord that OBJECTIVE: Ministries' Jim Carlson came along and led me to Jesus and got me in touch with Pastor Skeet before I did anything really bad. I don't know if I would have killed anyone, but you can never be certain when dealing with Satan's works. Because of its complete and devastating failure to deliver on the promise of uplifting Spiritual Warfare training, to the point of actually recruiting some players into Satan's army, the Doom series gets ZERO CROSSES. For those who want a real Spiritual Warfare game made by knowledgeable Christians, I would suggest Catechumen, reviewed above
That is so messed up. That said, the review of Tetris was very unintentionally funny.
 

Gelp

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Dec 22, 2008
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Oh my GOD this is a goldmine if it's real. I hope they have a community forum or something, cause dicking with christians is the best kind of dicking.
 

Amund

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Oct 24, 2008
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I kind of want to play attack of the sunday school zombies... or rather I did... until I learned that you shoot them with doughnuts and convince them to stay in church..


and I may be gay but this made me laugh "he graphics and gameplay are old school, like old Final Fantasy or Zelda games only without the occult or homosexual influences."

XD


http://www.heaventhegame.com/

that looks... like something that could be real... but then again, Gabriel's hot and in a skirt, plus the saint is a blond whore.
 

irrelevantnugget

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Mar 25, 2008
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In case you didn't realize it yet: it's one huge troll site. Fun to share the link and make people think it's serious business, though.
 

Avatar Roku

New member
Jul 9, 2008
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Amund said:
I kind of want to play attack of the sunday school zombies... or rather I did... until I learned that you shoot them with doughnuts and convince them to stay in church..


and I may be gay but this made me laugh "he graphics and gameplay are old school, like old Final Fantasy or Zelda games only without the occult or homosexual influences."

XD


http://www.heaventhegame.com/

that looks... like something that could be real... but then again, Gabriel's hot and in a skirt, plus the saint is a blond whore.
Did you see the thing they said about Army of Two?
Bible-based investment firm The Timothy Plan has issued a guide to video games for Christmas. They have uncovered many troubling games now on sale that I have not covered below. The most disturbing is the game Army of Two, which promotes homosexual encounters among active-duty soldiers during a time of war, jeopardizing the safety of our troops and their mission to spread Christian civilization around the globe (Dr. Holgroth told me this is part of a wider campaign by anti-Christians to undermine the Biblical basis of our military). Please read their report for more information.

This site is both hilarious and, if its real, very disturbing.
 

MCGT

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Sep 27, 2008
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Have you seen his zombie game reviews, he's saying if a zombie apocalypse ever happens we should go over and hug the flesh-eaters.

Oh and apparantly Doom turns us into murderers.
 

Avatar Roku

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Jul 9, 2008
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the monopoly guy said:
It gave Tetris 0 crosses? What in the hell is statnic about Tetris for Christ's sake?
Because it's "fatalistic" since its impossible to win.

Did you guys see the MGS4 review? I couldn't read past the first line, it was so funny.
 

The Kind Cannibal

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Aug 19, 2008
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orannis62 said:
My god read this part:
Much has been written about Doom, especially its role in causing the Columbine High School massacre. It is a violent game filled with dark, Satanic imagery that desensitizes young players to murder and the Devil. Everyone knows this so I won't go over all that again. Instead, I would like to point out the real tragedy with Doom was what could have been. In the Doom series, you play a U.S. Marine who fights the forces of Satan. While you use violence, it is only against demons. On its own this would be a positive thing as it reinforces the role of our Christian military in spreading the Light of God throughout the world and opposing the Satanic forces that would do us harm. Unfortunately, the game's maker, John Carmack, is an Atheist. This means that he had no clue what he was doing when he used this idea as the central narrative of his game. Instead of highlighting the positive aspects of Spiritual Warfare and uplifting people to become Warriors for Christ, his Atheistic ignorance of the Bible let him become a conduit for Satan to sensationalize the demonic enemies, actually making them seductive to youth! I know this because, before I was saved, I played Doom. I was entranced by the Satanic imagery and violence. I thank the Lord that OBJECTIVE: Ministries' Jim Carlson came along and led me to Jesus and got me in touch with Pastor Skeet before I did anything really bad. I don't know if I would have killed anyone, but you can never be certain when dealing with Satan's works. Because of its complete and devastating failure to deliver on the promise of uplifting Spiritual Warfare training, to the point of actually recruiting some players into Satan's army, the Doom series gets ZERO CROSSES. For those who want a real Spiritual Warfare game made by knowledgeable Christians, I would suggest Catechumen, reviewed above
That is so messed up. That said, the review of Tetris was very unintentionally funny.
I personally know a lot of Satanist that would be very offended by this 'reveiw'. They really have a bad rep with the western world. They're not bad, exept those church burning Scandinavian ones.

Back on topic, I think this person really dislikes Doom.
 

pantsoffdanceoff

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Jun 14, 2008
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I'm almost 95% sure that this website is a joke. Its just like this website http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm except instead of being a child obsessed with Ninjas, this ones about being a Jesus obsessed with video games.
 

Gelp

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Dec 22, 2008
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HAHAHA, read the one for Fable 2 it's enough to wet your pants!

Edit: Killjoy..
 

Dubiousduke

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Jan 27, 2008
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This gives ZP a run for his money! Great find!

?U save ur game b4 u die... shouldn't u let Jesus save ur soul b4 u die IRL??
 

MCGT

New member
Sep 27, 2008
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Oh, it was funnier when I thought it was real...

I voted Jesus had a PS3 cause it's obvious he's a total graphic whore.
 

Caliostro

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Jan 23, 2008
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LCP said:
fake or not its funny you can't deny that :)
orannis62 said:
So what? Its still really funny.

Was just answering the people who asked if it was real.

And yeah, it's good parody. Particularly good because there ARE people who act like that.