'Be a man'!

[Danny Ocean]

It's really none of your fucking business what I sob over

It is if you come to us to whine about it.

Ah, the gold old masculinity argument.
"Be a man, repress those emotions!"

It's more like:

"Be a man, control those emotions!"

If anything it requires you to be more in touch with your emotions than you might otherwise be.

 

[Stuntkid]

Ah, gender roles and equality, where double standard is the king with budding compatriots social compliance and confirmation bias.

I've seen and heard a lot of people say fight for a women's rights and show she's not just a subservient housewife, and yet never once have i heard anyone fight for male rights. That we're not all MANLY MASCULINE MEN WHO DO MAN STUFF. You know, not the kind of guy who's automatically good at DIY, doesn't enjoy sport, and yes - is the emotional, sensitive type. You know what's even more bigoted than this? The supposed belief that anyone fitting this description is also a homosexual. I don't know if that's just exclusive to where i was brought up, but that's the assumption - if you don't do MANLY MAN things, you're too soft, too girly and probably gay because you're not enough of a MANLY MAN. How nice.

I really hate the term "be a man", even if it is just a 'figure of speech', because i can tell you now whether it's meant to be taken as a literal term or not it's just as damning as saying 'you're too girly / sensitive / some other variant'. It implies that there's still a gender divide because hey, MANLY MEN control the world right? And that women are somehow lesser because - oh look, they can't "be a man". Even if, again, they could "metaphorically" it's still pretty damn offensive. It'd be better if people said "toughen up" or something similar. Aside from that, it's complete blatant ignorance of the other party's feelings and neglects the fact that, actually, maybe there is something wrong that can't be overcome just by pounding one's chest like a fucking ape.

The fact "be a man" is still such a prevalent phrase in today's society shows gender equality still has a loooong way to go. For both genders. And let's not even talk about the rampant xenophobia and other equality issues That's another topic for another time.

would it help if man was from the latin word manus meaning hand which is being used poetically to repressent having control, the word manufacture does not mean a bloke made it means it was created by humans the man in mankind for instance is also the signifyer of hu"man"ity as something which has a hand.

same with all the other words like handyman a person skilled with hands on work or manpower as in having all hands on deck.

It has zero to do with gender

beside toughen up isn't advice its please shut up about your problems because I don't want to hear them is the actually meaning of those phrases.

Not showing emotions is public is not reguarded as weakness but as social politness to not burden other by bringing down the general atmosphere, offloading your problems onto other that have no wish to be shared with is impolite and selfish

I don't completely agree with that. My fucked up way of thinking derived from the constant physical and verbal abuse of those who think the gender role of a man is one who is hardened inside and out. It's retarded, it's wrong, and it should be exterminated. Though I pretty much think you're right, there are still people who think of it as a gender-role term and use it as such.

Women are naturally more emotional than men so people think of toughened as a trait of the male gender. I've seen countless accounts of women using physical and verbal attack as a way to "shapen up" men or "put them in their place"(just like men do, sometimes) but if you're a man you can't do it to them, and they know this and abuse this athoratative immunity. That also goes with the gender role of women being more fragile physically and emotionally (which obviously isn't true. Iv'e seen alot of hard women.) And at the same time, these same women are active in women's rights and equality. This baffles me.

Is the title like an assessory to flaunt around? I know it's not just women, it's universal; but GODDAMN, get off my porch you fuckin girl scouts; I dont want your damn cookies. Just like everything else, if a certain thing recieves a mass change you can't go back to the way things were. Basically what I'm saying is YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. You can't eat both Rock Pops and Diet Coke or else you'll explode, and it'll get everywhere, and someone else would clean it up, and it would smell up the joint.

Most of this gender-role shit comes from the media. This is one of the reason why I don't watch TV anymore. These jack-offs from the ironically named "reality TV" giving us common morons an idea how to act like (even though these jack-offs mostly are us common morons.)Now get me my medicated sandwich.

Sorry, I was trying to find my marbles. But anyway, it's not just reality tv, or tv in general. What's dipicted as "right" is whatever the writer thinks is right. How can you trust them? When you read something you should have a mind of your own and access and juxtapose their information with yours. Or better yet, kill them all; your girlfriend would never know what hit them.

I'm falling off the topic here, let me climb back on. It should not be a gender thing, but it is anyway and there's no way any of us can change it. Unless everyone decides to do it at once which is impossible; seriously, why would you think that? It's stupid. Don't ever think that again. Of a matter of fact Im angry now that you thought of that I'm ending this right now! Pch! Everyone changing at once, that's stupid.

Oh, and mass murder is stupid too. You have a twisted sense of humor, you. I have my eyes on you. I'm not saying where I'm watching you, but I am. And Im not in your closet.

My humor is twisted but personally I never been one for the whole sociology angle of contructed abstract gender roles, too many cultures too many individual variences.
People do what they want when they want and genrally don't care for those in the way.

As for toughness thats really an emotion all to itself fear for instance is what should stop you from falling off the mountain not whats causing you to drag your feet at the base.


Or better yet, kill them all; your girlfriend would never know what hit them
Oh, and mass murder is stupid too. You have a twisted sense of humor, you. I have my eyes on you. I'm not saying where I'm watching you, but I am. And Im not in your closet.

Might wanna keep those crazy eyes focused in a mirror

I'm not sure you read correctly. When I said "twisted sense of humor" I was obviously talking about myself (unless you're into that sort of thing). Of course you never considered mass murder and i dont condone it.

Seriously though, I'm not a murderer (I never been caught, yet)and as for gender-roles, I don't like them. In most cases it's a double-standard. (ex. women hit man = humor or independance/man hit woman = crime/abuse) It's understandable, man are physically stronger, and women are more emotional. But comparing the two, the women abuse results in a sharper responce than the ladder.

look, here ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlFAd4YdQks&feature=related (and please ignore the sexist comments, it's just youtubers doing what they do best)

Just in case anyone asked I accidently deleted the first version of this post. I'm typing this right now, because I forgot what I was supposed to say at this point. If you're reading this right now, then you just wasted 5 seconds of your life. Those five seconds now belongs to me and I am having the time of my life with them. It now 10 seconds. Are you still reading this paragraph? I surely hope noone has noticed that this paragraph is completly pointless and disregard everything I will say beyond this point. It's three o clock when I'm typing this am I'm really tired, but "I'm a man" so I'm not taking this out on you fellow readers. You bastards. Now I'm goanaa say something really perfound and everyone is going to be too annoyed to read the rest of the paragraph. Bet you're waiting for me to say something didn't you? Why are you still here? Gohome! I wonder if anyone will care enough to be anticipated about the final sentance in this paragraph. Seriously you guys are still reading? You guys don't have anything better to do, dont you? I told you already, this paragraph is pointless. Quit reading. You're only hurting yourselves. Wait, you're waiting for me to say something important? Well fortunately, I saved the best sentence for last. This sentence alone will be the reward for tolerating this entire paragraph and the passage of life as well, are you ready? ...









PS: wait... what's this thred about, again?

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well the "be a man" line sounds primitive, but it's alot more to it then that.
You may not realize it but it is the best advice you can get, because moping and whining will only perpetuate sadness that is in no way a solution to the problem, you need to go the other way and get it out of your system.

Crying and sadness are perfectly acceptable, as long as they are only stepping stones towards resolving the issue, but wallowing in self-pity is not acceptable it does not help anyone with anything, the least of all yourself.

In other words, smoking more crack can't help you with your crack addiction

 

[junkmanuk]

My first thought when I read this thread:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn5pxj6BWJw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUXP-2dIs-Y

 

[cystemic]

When I think about depressed people I generally don't see why they get so much attention. Instead of getting off their asses and doing something about their problems, they retreat into themselves and everyone feels sorry for them. If you don't actively seek out solutions or help with your problems, of course its not gonna get better so to me yeah, MAN UP is definitely something I would say but everyone would probably misunderstand and think I'm unemotional. Also, Mulan but I got ninja'd.

 

[Cavouku]

I don't like crying. I know that crying happens when a feeling, whatever it be, overwhelms me. I accept my emotions, sadness and all, but crying is a sign I've let myself loose, and I don't want to feel like that.

Other than that, 'be a man' is a very passive and unhelpful answer, if nothing else.

 

[EeveeElectro]

It depends what they're upset about. A couple I've read on here seem perfectly fine to cry over, but some people are just ungrateful attention seekers.
Example, people who are on my Facebook for some reason:
'I lost my make up bag and i want to cry, i need powder and look like a mong fml!!!'
'i can't find my book for my lecture, and i have a sore throat, ughh fml!!'
'my iphone isn't working :'( fuck my actual life!'
All genuine examples I've seen. They are going to be so fucked when they can't live off mummy and daddy any more.

I think it is better to just get on with it when things go to shit instead of curling up and crying, but I find venting at someone and maybe having a good cry does wonders. Then you get on with it.

 

[RIOgreatescapist]

I believe it's more on the physical side than on the psychological that the expression "act like a man" is suposed to be applied.
If you trip and fall yes, crying would make you look like a lil ***** but if you're angry, sad, depressed don't act it out. Fuck, act the way like you truly feel, hiding all that shit inside someday you'll be finding yourself entering your old school with a smg in hand, shooting everything at sight and screaming "ITS ALL YOUR FAULT PIGS".
My 2 cents.

 

[Wardnath]

It's really none of your fucking business what I sob over

It is if you come to us to whine about it.

Fuck. I've gone and done it again. /facepalm

God, I'm a tool sometimes. >_>

 

[Niorff]

I prefer the term:"Don't be a pussy."

Quoted for truth.
We shouldn't even talk about that kind of questions. You have issues, deal with it. And yeah, it's sexist and whatever, because we're not going to change how the differences between girls and boys are seen.
People need that. Young boys and girls coming from a wealthy and trouble-free family who cry endlessly make me cringe. Yeah i'm looking at you Emo plague.

Ps : I'm actually a very sensitive man. But, ... COME ON !

 

[DSK-]

OP: When I realised I had depression and went to my doctor/counsellour etc, I always asked "How do I fix this?" - I also read psychology books to understand the mind and my own thoughts. I never once felt sorry for myself for too long (it was a rather painful depression, plenty of painful headaches).

I went on anti-depressants and it made it even worse, so I stopped that, went to counselling (didn't really help) so I carried on going to the gym and watched Gintama to make me feel better, and I pretty much cured myself.

The thing with depression is knowing that feeling bad will create a 'self-fulfilling prophecy', in that if you think your condition will get worse and you continue to think negative your condition will indeed get worse.

To me, that is one such definition of 'manning up'.

 

[zombiesinc]

I'm tired of gender-specific roles and expectations. These stereotypes, and society aren't helping, they're only enforcing these ideas.

We're all human, therefore we're all capable of feeling a broad spectrum of emotion. Why should we suppress, deny or be embarrassed of showing or feeling these emotions?

 

[R0cklobster]

It's surprising to see how many people in this thread HAVE said "stfu, stop crying and be a man" despite the point of this topic. To me it just seem ridiculously hypocritical and insensitive thing to say, as well as making me super angry. If i knew someone who seriously used that as a blanket statement in all situations then i'd be really tempted to say the exact same thing when they start crying if something like a relative dying happened... only i wouldn't because that would just make me just as bad. (This is only after reading the first page, sorry if the topic has moved on from this)

 

[Niorff]

I'm tired of gender-specific roles and expectations. These stereotypes, and society aren't helping, they're only enforcing these ideas.

We're all human, therefore we're all capable of feeling a broad spectrum of emotion. Why should we suppress, deny or be embarrassed of showing or feeling these emotions?

Because we need it ?
Gender specifications have existed for thousand years, and I think we still could benefit from that. Growing up with a loving mother and a strict but just father (just stereotypes here) is a good way to become a responsible adult. Can't find the good words there but you see what I mean.
Men should stick to their role in public, what they do alone is not our business. Something like that.

 

[dex-dex]

Last time i checked men can cry. Yes belive it or not its true we do have tear ducts and feelings!

:O WHAT???????
well this is news to me!
naw I kid
guys need to stop just having a hard outside when it comes to feelings.

 

[zombiesinc]

I'm tired of gender-specific roles and expectations. These stereotypes, and society aren't helping, they're only enforcing these ideas.

We're all human, therefore we're all capable of feeling a broad spectrum of emotion. Why should we suppress, deny or be embarrassed of showing or feeling these emotions?

Because we need it ?
Gender specifications have existed for thousand years, and I think we still could benefit from that. Growing up with a loving mother and a strict but just father (just stereotypes here) is a good way to become a responsible adult. Can't find the good words there but you see what I mean.
Men should stick to their role in public, what they do alone is not our business. Something like that.

We don't need it to the point in which people suppress or hide their emotions. Or to the point that it's only acceptable to do or feel certain things if you are a certain sex.

A loving mother can be the one who also brings home the money. A strict father can still show emotion. Becoming a responsible adult goes far beyond gender specifications or expectations. I'm not saying it shouldn't exist, at all, but to this extent? No, it shouldn't.

 

[Niorff]

I'm tired of gender-specific roles and expectations. These stereotypes, and society aren't helping, they're only enforcing these ideas.

We're all human, therefore we're all capable of feeling a broad spectrum of emotion. Why should we suppress, deny or be embarrassed of showing or feeling these emotions?

Because we need it ?
Gender specifications have existed for thousand years, and I think we still could benefit from that. Growing up with a loving mother and a strict but just father (just stereotypes here) is a good way to become a responsible adult. Can't find the good words there but you see what I mean.
Men should stick to their role in public, what they do alone is not our business. Something like that.

We don't need it to the point in which people suppress or hide their emotions. Or to the point that it's only acceptable to do or feel certain things if you are a certain sex.

A loving mother can be the one who also brings home the money. A strict father can still show emotion. Becoming a responsible adult goes far beyond gender specifications or expectations. I'm not saying it shouldn't exist, at all, but to this extent? No, it shouldn't.

Actually me neither, but my english is too rusty to express the 'subtlety' of my opinion.
I'm just saying that you can't expect to have positive reactions to an inadequate behavior, i.e. crying about stuff you can cope with. I'm definitely not in favor of the ambient pussyfication of the young. Not saying it's not ok to let go in difficult times. I've done it too, of course. But I'd rather know someone who fights and overcome his troubles than someone who cries about it, hoping someone will help.

 

[zombiesinc]

Actually me neither, but my english is too rusty to express the 'subtlety' of my opinion.
I'm just saying that you can't expect to have positive reactions to an inadequate behavior, i.e. crying about stuff you can cope with. I'm definitely not in favor of the ambient pussyfication of the young. Not saying it's not ok to let go in difficult times. I've done it too, of course. But I'd rather know someone who fights and overcome his troubles than someone who cries about it, hoping someone will help.

That's a good point. I think that stems from a lot of different things, mainly concerning parenting. These children who are either left to run wild, or 'baby'd aren't able to properly understand or cope with their feelings. They tend to be the ones who cry out for attention, or can't realize what a genuine struggle is.

Anyways, I don't support people whining about petty issues simply because they can, but I also don't support this mentality that certain sexes should act or feel a certain way.