Being Asexual In A Sexual Society

[Treblaine]

"Asexual"

HA! Me too, it's called being 40lbs overweight with chronic Phimosis

"Sexual society"

*boob on TV, nation goes insane* *Guaranteed vote winner is to ban the smut, protect the kids*

Nope.

 

[SpaceSpork]

Who the fuck cares? Not me. If you don't want to have sex, don't have sex. More power to you.

 

[Treblaine]

Can't sympathize with you there. I'm trisexual.

It's just part of being in the HMARS, you see.

Chicks with dicks? or Dudes with Boobs?
Either way im down.

Wouldn't they... be pretty much the same thing?

 

[quantumsoul]

I have a friend that seems asexual. Though he likes a lot porn and is in no way gay. He doesn't pursue any women. Though he likes it if they show interest in him.

One of our friends bugs him a lot to get a girl but I really don't care as long as he's happy.

Personally I love women and having a girl friend was lots of fun. Though I'd rather be single than with someone I don't like.

 

[Stephanos132]

Rather a lot of alledged asexuals on the escapist. One wonders if it's a by-product of being part of a community that is thought of as been asocial shut ins...

Edit: On second thought, it is probably just a statistical thing, seeing as there are likely thousands of people being fairly open on here.

Myself I certainly have a healthy sex drive, though finding someone to make use of it with is difficult, to say the least. C'est le vie.

 

[oppp7]

There are many reasons that I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm a lot like you, never planning on getting into a romantic relationship.

 

[Riku'sTwilight]

That boded very poorly when I tried to date the daughter, and she didn't realize that a heterosexual single man asking a heterosexual single woman to dinner is "usually" a date. It wasn't until I tried to arrange a second date, and used the term date, that she defined the terms of our encounter. That was embarassing. It took some doing to clear the matter up with my friend, but we're all on good terms again.

Regardless, I think that the fact that the OP has admitted to enjoying the occasional wank shows that he's not completely free of the sex drive -- although it doesn't mean in itself that he isn't genuinely uninterested in getting it from another person.

Your section about me made me laugh I must admit. To clarify yeah I do have a sex drive, and masturbation is far from occasional heh but I don't desire it from another person, at all. It's not that I find sex with someone disgusting or wrong its just that I don't feel the desire for someone else sexually

Think you're asexual?

Wait. Might take a few years, but wait.

You won't be forever.

I was too until my early 20's. Then I got run over by the hornymobile. And onwards the hornymobile went, its driver giving me neither a glance backwards nor a jaunty wave of the hand.

At the time I wasn't quite sure what happened to me, other than that it was quickly becoming clear that the carefully constructed persona I had crafted for myself was beginning to crumble into little bits.

Some people feel pretty much sexual the instant puberty hits. For many others, it takes time. It's only in extremely, exceptionally rare cases that it persists throughout a person's lifetime.

I am in my early 20's right now, and believe me the hornymobile is well and truly here but I still dont feel the need to have sex with someone to make my life complete/enjoy my life anymore than I already do.

I wouldn't say I'm asexual, per se, just that I'm a hopeless romantic.
Whilst I can appreciate the attractiveness of pretty much any human being, some part of me is looking at them as a potential partner, rather than just for sex. At university, this isn't always a winning strategy...

Not that I'm ruling out sex, it seems like a good idea. It's just that it seems like a relationship-affirming thing for me, rather than a one-night stand thing.

...I've turned down sex before, for reasons along those lines. Am I doing it wrong?

No you're not doing it wrong at all, I know how uni can be a really tough time (i've just finished there myself) and I also know what girls can be like at uni.
Believe me, if you were at my university with your attitude of looking for a life partner rather than a quickie you would have gone far.

You've just got to find the right type of girl to fit what you're looking for.
They are out there, so don't worry just now

 

[esperandote]

I'm selfsexual, but not by choice

 

[The Austin]

This may seem a little callous. Humans are sexual creatures, deal with it.

Yeah, this is pretty much true. Humans want to do it.

 

[smashmaniac64]

im hetero, but there is some appeal in asexual, mainly no complexities with friends or heartbreak =[

 

[Bruin]

I don't mind being asexual. I usually find women attractive until I get to know them and then I lose interest. I can't seem to be jealous of the so-so physical chemistry of couples that surround me. I wouldn't want to be in their place.

The right one would change many things, obviously.

You're not asexual if you find females attractive.

 

[Romidude]

Eh, considering it, I feel a little Asexual, but I'm still a relatively young Teenager.

 

[dogenzakaminion]

I say good for you. I'm not asexual myself, but I'd rather have a relationship built on me liking the person with sex on the side rather then a relationship built on sex.

If that makes sense, I think I worded that weirdly...

I also find this over-sexualized society annoying as well. It paints an unrealistic picture for kids to shoot for, and causes much more harm than good.

You sir, are smart.

I'm the same, while not asexual, I've never had a craving for any relationship that wasn't based on emotions. I enjoy being in a relationship more than being alone, but it would have to be with someone I like and care for, otherwise it's rather pointless. I agree with the oversexualized society. A good friend of mine is asexual and many people thought he was gay because of it...I think they didn't quite grasp the term. Stupid gits.

 

[TeeBs]

Can't sympathize with you there. I'm trisexual.

It's just part of being in the HMARS, you see.

Chicks with dicks? or Dudes with Boobs?
Either way im down.

Wouldn't they... be pretty much the same thing?

No, the face and body structures are different.

 

[superstringz]

Asexual/Aromantic/Asocial here. I like hiding behind my monitor, and I think everyone else likes me where they don't have to see me, too, which is an agreeable arrangement. In my small village in SW Michigan, the locals are always talking about the local (Highschool) football team, or student art, or the complete lack of gainful employment. And debts. Whereas, I like discussing exactly what the G-virus would have to do to make zombies (I like my organically grown nanotech computer hypothesis). For the most part, I talk to this series of tubes, and myself. And yes, I'm happy with my drama-free existance. Its very easy for me to navigate, and allows me to devote my whole life to my studies.

 

[Bruin]

You're not asexual if you find females attractive.

Ah. Just celibate, then?

I guess I oscillate between the two. I can be long periods without thinking about sex. It's like it disappears. Yes, even the self-stuff.

Call it celibate if you'd like. Celibacy is not desiring to have sex out of a moral objection to it, either from a religious experience or your own volition. It doesn't make you asexual or homosexual, it means you're denying your body from seeking out its naturally-occurring wants.

If you're a teenager you're probably going through spikes of hormones. If you're an adult and that's happening, seek out an endocrinologist.

 

[RipperSU]

It's good to hear that some people here are Asexual. I myself would describe myself as such. While I am attracted to women also, I have no real desire to have sex. I enjoy kissing girls and holding each other. I do enjoy the idea of sex but in practice have no real desire to participate in it. And to those who are asking, yes, Asexuals do masturbate.

 

[Irony's Acolyte]

I never got other sexualitys. Like I'm perfectly fine with gay people and bi-people and tranny peoples...as people. But I still never got how or what good an organism that doesnt sustain its own race is. If every dog was gay...what would happen, there would be no more dogs.

Would anybody care to explain?

I don't really know about homosexuality in the animal kingdom, but in humans I believe homosexuality (and bisexuality, and asexuality, and whateversexuality) is caused by a combination of biological and sociological factors. I figure that some people are more likely to act in a certain way and in certain cultures those actions are consider "X" (X being a sexuality other than hetero-), thus these people begin to relate themselves with that certain sexuality. This causes them to act even more like that sexuality thus strengthening the association in their mind. Like the OP for instance, he says that he "discovered" that he was asexual, but I believe that he became asexual. I guess he has a low sex drive or the way that he grew up made him less interested in sex, so when he didn't feel sexually aroused in a while he figured that he was asexual and when nothing contradicted this, the association built in his mind to the point that he was asexual.

Please, people who hold other views, don't get all angry at me. I'm not saying that your sexuality is a conscious choice, that you can just choose to be gay or bi- or a- or whatever. I just know that the mind has some incredible powers over the body and I've created this theory because it makes sense as to why homosexuality can be so wide-spread.

OT: I'm heterosexual so I don't really know exactly how you feel but I imagine that it is somewhat similar to living in a consumerist society as someone who doesn't buy into it (teehee, I made a pun), or as an atheist in a very religious society. Your priorities on certain subjects are very different than the society at large and thus you feel somewhat out of place.