Best insult without swearing?

[Mockingjay]

Enlighten me.

I did a quick search and nothing immediate came up so no 'Uhhh this has been done before' please.

 

[SharPhoe]

"Saying that someone like you should be burned would be an insult to fire."

 

[bodyklok]

"Insulting you would be insulting to insults"

 

[riskroWe]

"I'd call you a tool, but that would insinuate that you have some use in this world."

 

[Ciarang]

What a muppet, its a good insult because noone can ever think of a good comeback

 

[SharPhoe]

"I'd call you a tool, but that would insinuate that you have some use in this world."

Ooooh, that is a GOOD one.

I wouldn't piss down your throat if you were on fire.

Doesn't "piss" count as swearing?

 

[Kranay]

Here's a Shakespearian one:

You Prince of Wales.

 

[manicfoot]

"I wish I could go back in time to when your mother was pregnant with you and punch her in the stomach"
A tad harsh? Why yes, yes it is.

 

[Inco]

'That tie looks good, does it come in straight?'

Classic line one of my friends told my physics teacher.

 

[Vrex360]

Don't take it out on me just because in the business world in the near future you are destined to spend more time UNDER a desk then behind one.

 

[Dudemeister]

"I may be drunk but you sir, are frightfully ugly.
And at least I shall be sober in the morning."

 

[Vitamin T]

How about:

"You're so ugly that when you were born the doctor took one look at you and slapped your mother"

Love that one.

 

[SharPhoe]

I wouldn't piss down your throat if you were on fire.

Doesn't "piss" count as swearing?

I dare not evacuate my bladder with urgency most immediate down your throat if you were currently engaged in matters of combustion, wot.

Heh, much better.

 

[Kranay]

"The most thoughtful thing your mother has ever said in relation to you at all was at your birth: Stick it back in and let's try again."

 

[Joos]

May you have a dozen daughters and may all of them marry well.

 

[Brisingr]

I think a quote from Monty Python and the Holy grail will do nicley here:

"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

 

[XJ-0461]

You must have fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

 

[perfectimo]

Walk up to the person, spit in their face and walk off without saying a word.

 

[F17]

As soon as they start to say something, cut them off with "that's enough out of you, [name]." Or call them silly, or the silly man, but in a totally serious manner. It's quite hurtful. The insults without swear words are always the ones that stick with you, haunting you to your grave.

 

[Animated Rope]

"I remain unfaithful in the prospect that you have the wit to comprehend the level of linguistic mastery that I display on numerous occasions every day."

It could be considered offensive, but as an insult it's utterly useless. Which is why it's a favourite of mine.