Best Quotes?
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Damn, I was thinking the first might be Bill Hicks but didn't want to say it and look stupid if I was wrong. Apparently I had those two confused.Strykz said:1- George carlin2012 Wont Happen said:
2- Bill hicks
"I put the laughter in manslaughter."
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every second of it."
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every second of it."
Well, anything Douglas Adams as EVER said or written.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
I could go on, but then I'd be here for a while
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
I could go on, but then I'd be here for a while
Even in a book of lies sometimes you find truth. There is indeed a season for all things and now that I see you flesh-to-flesh and blood-to-blood I know I cannot raise my hand against you. But know this, you are my greatest disappointment. Does your master hear me? Atlas! You can kill me, but you will never have my city. My strength is not in steel and fire, that is what the parasites will never understand. A season for all things! A time to live and a time to die, a time to build... and a time to destroy!
guest who
guest who
"You think you have lag? Jesus took 3 days to respawn!"
"This is your life and it's ending 1 minute at a time"
"What is the difference between a slave and a man?" speech
"Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? "
"calm as Hindu cows."
"His name is Robert Paulson."
"This is your life and it's ending 1 minute at a time"
"What is the difference between a slave and a man?" speech
"Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? "
"calm as Hindu cows."
"His name is Robert Paulson."
"one must begin by believing in a dream. otherwise even the attainable will be out of reach"-Haruhi Suzumiya
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster, for as you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes back into you" - Nietzsche
"I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter" - Winston Churchill
"Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change" - Malcom X
"A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him" - Winston Churchill
"Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live" - Adolf Hitler
"If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia" - Thomas Szasz
"I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter" - Winston Churchill
"Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change" - Malcom X
"A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him" - Winston Churchill
"Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live" - Adolf Hitler
"If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia" - Thomas Szasz
Let me think...
Ah yes
*"...there's a fine line between not listening, and not caring. I like to think I walk that line every day of my life..."
*"I have half a mind to kill you, and the other half agrees."
*"I hope you brought your wallet, because the rent in Hell is paid in advance!"
*"Relax, I'm not going to give it a cold. I'm just gonna go in there. Step on its neck. And shoot it in the head. Because that's how I roll."
*"I can't believe I died for this war."
*Church:"No matter how bad things may seem..."
Caboose:"They could always be worse..."
Church:"Nope, no matter how bad they seem, they can't be any better, and they can't be any worse, because that's the way things fucking are, and you better get used to it Nancy. Quit yer bitching."
*[After being told there's no "I" in "TEAM"] Grif:Oh yeah! Well there's no "you" in "team" either! So I guess if "I'm" not on the team and "you're" not on the team, than nobody's on the goddamn team. The team sucks!
*[Giving advice to his alien son] Tucker:The point is you're on your own now, and I don't have enough time to tell you everything you need to know. So here's a few brief pointers: Invest in real estate. There's no such thing as a permanent record. Always eat breakfast. All the girls on the internet are actually dudes. And you should never, ever, buy the extended warranty on anything. EVER. Also, chicks like it when you tell them they're pretty, but they also like it when you're kind of a dick to them. So mix it up a little.
These are quotes of epic proportions.
Ah yes
*"...there's a fine line between not listening, and not caring. I like to think I walk that line every day of my life..."
*"I have half a mind to kill you, and the other half agrees."
*"I hope you brought your wallet, because the rent in Hell is paid in advance!"
*"Relax, I'm not going to give it a cold. I'm just gonna go in there. Step on its neck. And shoot it in the head. Because that's how I roll."
*"I can't believe I died for this war."
*Church:"No matter how bad things may seem..."
Caboose:"They could always be worse..."
Church:"Nope, no matter how bad they seem, they can't be any better, and they can't be any worse, because that's the way things fucking are, and you better get used to it Nancy. Quit yer bitching."
*[After being told there's no "I" in "TEAM"] Grif:Oh yeah! Well there's no "you" in "team" either! So I guess if "I'm" not on the team and "you're" not on the team, than nobody's on the goddamn team. The team sucks!
*[Giving advice to his alien son] Tucker:The point is you're on your own now, and I don't have enough time to tell you everything you need to know. So here's a few brief pointers: Invest in real estate. There's no such thing as a permanent record. Always eat breakfast. All the girls on the internet are actually dudes. And you should never, ever, buy the extended warranty on anything. EVER. Also, chicks like it when you tell them they're pretty, but they also like it when you're kind of a dick to them. So mix it up a little.
These are quotes of epic proportions.
Sounds like something the Joker'd say.TheTurtleMan said:
OT:"AGH, MUSTARD!"
Now this may make no fucking sense to you, so lemme explain:
Right, so in my social skills classroom, me and my teachers are pretty good friends, and as such, I usually spend lunch down there, and they also regularly invite a few teachers over for lunch as well, in this case, they invited the gym teacher, so 3 teachers in all in there.
Anyway, they're sitting at a table at the other end of the room talking and I'm sitting at the other with one of the teachers, and I'm struggling to open it, which they don't notice. So for them it's just out of the blue when I loudly go "AGH, MUSTARD!" and the teacher I'm with says "...You need some help with that?"
They find this hilarious as hell for some reason, and from now on when anything goes wrong he says "AGH, MUSTARD!" just to remind me, and I can't help but laugh.
...yeah, it's one of those you-had-to-be-there moments, really.
Um, what else...
"Girl's virginity like balloon - One prick all gone." -Confucious
I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.
Ten points to the person who get's this!
Ten points to the person who get's this!
One of my favs in is a conversation between a celtic player and a referee
Celtic player: Ref, what would you do if i said you were a ****?
Ref: I'd send you off
Celtic player: What if i thought you were a ****?
Ref: I couldn't do anything
Celtic player: Ok, i think you're a ****
Class
Celtic player: Ref, what would you do if i said you were a ****?
Ref: I'd send you off
Celtic player: What if i thought you were a ****?
Ref: I couldn't do anything
Celtic player: Ok, i think you're a ****
Class
