Biscuits!

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Headdrivehardscrew

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Hazy992 said:
I do love me some Hobnobs every now and then.

Homemade is always better, without the funny palm oil and virgin hearts, but when you're craving for a sweet treat and a supplemental boost to digestion, there's just nothing like a Hobnob. They even make the gas build-up a social happening.
 

draken693

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Apr 30, 2009
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This is the greatest thread of all time. In the history of the internet. Thank you for this.
 

Lil_Rimmy

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Mar 19, 2011
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I used to worship Raj.
I.... I... I am sorry, Raj.
I will always remember you, you lazy cat.

It is time to start the official Church of Daystar.

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Praise the Biscuit!

Hail Branston, the Pickle!

May the British Food God bless you all!

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Please forgive the fact I am Australian, and bless me with your divine biscuits!
 

Elementary - Dear Watson

RIP Eleuthera, I will miss you
Nov 9, 2010
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TopazFusion said:
I approve of this thread.

I see no one has mentioned the best biscuits in the world yet.


[sub]In before US people calling scones "biscuits".[/sub]
I'm afraid to say that a TimTam (or Penguin in the UK) is not a biscuit, despite it having a biscuit centre. It falls under the catagory of 'Snack Bar', which is always the section next to biscuits in the supermarket. Unfortunately they are different enough to warrant different sections. Although if we were to allow it, then we would have to make Kit Kats biscuits too, and Breakaways etc... and that just wouldn't be right!

Interesting fact: Digestive biscuits in the UK are not classified as 'luxury' items, and considered more of a staple part of our diet. This stemmed from the war, where they were part of the rationing, and you could stil get them. Because of this you do not pay VAT, or some other taxes on them. This means you can pick up a pack for very cheap, even under 50p for brand named ones.
The Chocolate digestive however has all the taxes applied, which means the same size pack, by the same brand will be around double the price! I cant remember what brand it was, but when I worked in Icelands we had digestives at 45p, and the same size pack, by the same company, was 1(pound)15p! (Darn UK keyboard!! No Pound sign key!!)
 

viranimus

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Nov 20, 2009
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Seriously... what is with this calling short bread cookies or sweet crackers, biscuits. I saw biscuit and I immediately thought

and now im hungry, only to find a thread about crackers and cookies.
 

godofallu

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Jun 8, 2010
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I don't understand biscuits or tea ingestion.

The cookie looks mouth wateringly good though.
 

the spud

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May 2, 2011
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Dammit, Daystar! Why do you keep making these threads? I am already a fatass and now you are making me hungry.
 

Elementary - Dear Watson

RIP Eleuthera, I will miss you
Nov 9, 2010
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Colour-Scientist said:
Two Digestive biscuits and a slice of vanilla ice cream (in block form of course).
Om nom nom.

Or dunking Digestives in milk, I'm not a fan of tea.

Do these count as biscuits:


So good.
Yep, they most certainly are biscuits! Full of vanillary goodness. My earliest photo of me shows me settling into a couple of Pink Wafers!

Another way of having digestives: One I do usually in the evening when watching TV with my mum when I am at my parents, is Digestive biscuits with butter on! It is damn awesome!

@Daystar_Clarion Thanks dude for this one! Another epic from and epic! You sir, are the best!
 
Jan 23, 2010
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Daystar Clarion said:
See this?


Mmm. Hobnobs. They even sell them here in Sweden in regular stores. Not in any special "English Store" but in regular supermarkets in the same aisle as the normal boring swedish biscuits! Thank you UK for having awesome food. Now bring me more Branston Pickle!
 

JemothSkarii

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Nov 9, 2010
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I'm Australian, and I agree with everything you've said...I have to, you're like that snobbish big brother we have dressed up in a tailcoat and tossing us old tea and the occassional shortbread...
My favorite tea biscuit is either the Bourbon, The shortbread, or the good ol' Anzac biscuit (YES THEY ARE A BISCUIT!)
 

Mauso88

A Simply Dignified Manly Man.
Feb 3, 2011
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The Jammie Dodger. Two biscuits for the price of one, plus jam.

Ginger Snaps taste great and help ease motion sickness and nausea. Now, when a biscuit becomes medicine you know your on to a winner.
 

ffs-dontcare

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Aug 13, 2009
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I love me some Shrewsbury.



Dial-up users be warned. [http://delacasa.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/teaspoon.jpg]

ANZAC cookies are also the greatest.

viranimus said:
Seriously... what is with this calling short bread cookies or sweet crackers, biscuits. I saw biscuit and I immediately thought

and now im hungry, only to find a thread about crackers and cookies.
That thing looks like it'd be absolutely and literally dripping copious amounts of grease if you squeezed it in your hand, especially those "buns" on the top and bottom.
 

Elementary - Dear Watson

RIP Eleuthera, I will miss you
Nov 9, 2010
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TopazFusion said:
DeanoTheGod said:
I'm afraid to say that a TimTam (or Penguin in the UK) is not a biscuit, despite it having a biscuit centre. It falls under the catagory of 'Snack Bar', which is always the section next to biscuits in the supermarket. Unfortunately they are different enough to warrant different sections. Although if we were to allow it, then we would have to make Kit Kats biscuits too, and Breakaways etc... and that just wouldn't be right!
Okay then, how about these . . .

Unfortunately being at work I cannot see those pictures, they have been filtered and blocked, but I looked up the mint slice (from the URL) and it looks like one of our Viscounts. This makes it a 'chocolate snack bar' aswell, and not officially a biscuit. Although TimTams and these could both be eaten at a time where you would eat a biscuit, mainly elevenses, or afternoon tea!
 

viranimus

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Nov 20, 2009
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viranimus said:
]

That thing looks like it'd be absolutely and literally dripping copious amounts of grease if you squeezed it in your hand, especially those "buns" on the top and bottom.
Thats pretty much the point of the Hardees/Carls Jr (dependant on where you live) Monster biscuit that weighs in at a stout 710 calorie, 51 fat gram and 2250mg of sodium. The only thing worse for your body would be an IV mainline of unrefined lard, maybe.
 

RhombusHatesYou

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Mar 21, 2010
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DeanoTheGod said:
I'm afraid to say that a TimTam (or Penguin in the UK) is not a biscuit, despite it having a biscuit centre. It falls under the catagory of 'Snack Bar', which is always the section next to biscuits in the supermarket. Unfortunately they are different enough to warrant different sections. Although if we were to allow it, then we would have to make Kit Kats biscuits too, and Breakaways etc... and that just wouldn't be right!
Eh? A TimTam is 2 biscuits with chocolate (or fancy-schmancy flavour for women) creme filling and coated in chocolate... if they're a 'snack bar' then so is the custard cream.

Also, in most Aussie supermarkets 'biscuits' and 'confectionary' are in different aisles. Biscuits are in the same aisle as coffee, tea and beverage mixes (milo, nesquik, shit like that), the way God intended.
 

RhombusHatesYou

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DeanoTheGod said:
I looked up the mint slice (from the URL) and it looks like one of our Viscounts. This makes it a 'chocolate snack bar' aswell, and not officially a biscuit. Although TimTams and these could both be eaten at a time where you would eat a biscuit, mainly elevenses, or afternoon tea!
So a chocolate coated biscuit isn't a biscuit? That's... well... it's fucking stupid. It's "calling scones 'biscuits'" level of stupid.
 

Elementary - Dear Watson

RIP Eleuthera, I will miss you
Nov 9, 2010
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RhombusHatesYou said:
DeanoTheGod said:
I looked up the mint slice (from the URL) and it looks like one of our Viscounts. This makes it a 'chocolate snack bar' aswell, and not officially a biscuit. Although TimTams and these could both be eaten at a time where you would eat a biscuit, mainly elevenses, or afternoon tea!
So a chocolate coated biscuit isn't a biscuit? That's... well... it's fucking stupid. It's "calling scones 'biscuits'" level of stupid.
Unfortunately it is also fact... Chocolate Biscuits and Biscuits are different things. If something is coverec in chocolate, it becomes a different classification of product.

When you buy a tin of biscuits at Christmas, there will normally be 2 different boxes per company. This is due to the taxing laws. You can get a box of biscuits, or a box of chocolate biscuits.

There is also an ettiquite difference in them. If you were to serve me an assortment of Digestives, Rich Teas, Nice, Malted Milk, Jammy Dodgers, Bourbon, Custard Creme, Pink Wafers, Hob Nobs, and others like that then I would say thank you and give them a dunk in the delightfull cup of Earl Grey in the china tea-cup that you previously gave me...

If however you gave me a penguin, or a kit-kat, or a viscount, or a Chocolate Digestive/Hob-nob, or some Cadbury's Fingers, I am likely to throw the tea in you face/ give you a slap for insulting me... I do not like chocolate melted into my tea, and therefore they have a different role. They can be eated along side tea in your own home, but you wouldn't serve them with tea... that is not proper at all...

Oh... And I know that a Dark Chocolate digestive can be dunked without the transfer of chocolate, but it still counts as a chocolate biscuit... I'm sorry!
 
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Daystar Clarion said:
Biscuit porn.

The best kind of porn.

All that tea dunking is quite sexual isn't it.

It's so wrong, but feels so right.
Thanks to this I'm going to be best described as 'touch and go' for the rest of the day. It's a good job you didn't throw down chocolate hobnobs otherwise I might have just ruined these pants and trousers. Stick them in the fridge so the chocolate is hard and you've got yourself a gourmet meal.

Dipping a digestive or hobnob is really fucking risky, you could end up with a coffee full of crumbs that gather at the side until you wash the cup. You can't pour another cup until those little fuckers are gone. Better for the rookies to stick with a rich tea until they have the hang of it.
 

RhombusHatesYou

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DeanoTheGod said:
RhombusHatesYou said:
DeanoTheGod said:
I looked up the mint slice (from the URL) and it looks like one of our Viscounts. This makes it a 'chocolate snack bar' aswell, and not officially a biscuit. Although TimTams and these could both be eaten at a time where you would eat a biscuit, mainly elevenses, or afternoon tea!
So a chocolate coated biscuit isn't a biscuit? That's... well... it's fucking stupid. It's "calling scones 'biscuits'" level of stupid.
Unfortunately it is also fact... Chocolate Biscuits and Biscuits are different things. If something is coverec in chocolate, it becomes a different classification of product.
Okay but over here we don't classify chocolate biscuits as snack bars (confectionary). Accepting that will greatly reduce the chances of you inadvertantly being murdered by an Aussie.


When you buy a tin of biscuits at Christmas
Which I don't, so we'll ignore that part.


There is also an ettiquite difference in them. If you were to serve me an assortment of Digestives, Rich Teas, Nice, Malted Milk, Jammy Dodgers, Bourbon, Custard Creme, Pink Wafers, Hob Nobs, and others like that then I would say thank you and give them a dunk in the delightfull cup of Earl Grey in the china tea-cup that you previously gave me...
Why would I be serving anything in tea-cups? Why would I be serving tea? I don't drink it and I keep none in my flat, I'm a coffee drinking heathen colonial. Here the drinking vessels rang from mugs to a few enamelled tin cups to glasses, so if you're the sort that gets the vapours at the sight of their tea being served in something other than a tea-cup even bringing your own tea wouldn't help... Best bring your own tea set... Also, I've been known to poison guests with artificial sweetener... Plus the water around here comes in Crunchy and Chewy rather than Hot and Cold so maybe you should give up on ever scrounging a cuppa from me.

Only biscuit you'd be offered is a Malt biscuit.. which is sort of like a malted milk but maltier.