Bisexuality doesn't exist

[Char-Nobyl]

In order not to confuse anyone, I need to tell you that I'm a dude.

That gets you points right off the bat, and explains a lot. When a guy is a practicing bi, it has a lot more weight behind it than when a girl does the same. It's a gender double-standard, but it's kinda true. You don't usually get straight guys making out with their fraternity brothers through college because of booze alone.

I've heard this. A lot of times.
Wherever I go, whomever I talk to, this is the thing that pops up in their mind.
Their gender or sexuality doesn't matter, it's always the same.
If I tell someone I chose a guy in front of a girl, I have always got this as a response; "Maybe you are just completely gay". Every. Single. Time.

Actually, gender/sexuality does matter for one simple reason: you're speaking with people who aren't bisexual. For a heterosexual, it's easy to acknowledged a person as homosexual, and vise versa, simply because there's a clear divide in sexual preference. For either group to acknowledged that someone essentially occupies both groups is rather confusing, because it requires that they accept that you like who they like (gender-wise), but also the other side of the equation.

The same works the other way around. Except this time, the heterosexuals say that "maybe you were just experimenting with homosexuality" and the homosexuals say that "you are in denial bladibibla".
Even the last guy I was dating was like this. He was convinced I was homosexual because I was in love with him (and him being a guy).

Meh. I'd just be reiterating what I said above. Again, most people are either straight or gay, and being genuinely bi is something of an anomaly. A fair deal of the time, people are just referencing prior experimentation or the aforementioned booze-induced makeouts.

This was okay in the beginning. I didn't really mind this. I know what I am and I don't care what anyone thinks of it.
However. This has been going on for several years. It's not really about the years. It's about the fact that this has been going on for as long as I have been open about my sexuality.
Now, this is pissing me off incredibly. Of course, this makes these people say "oooooh why are you getting so upset huh? :3 You know what it means when you take it personal riiiiight?"

Wait...I'm actually not sure what you're getting at. What does it mean when you take it personally?

I'm not taking it personally, I am just tired of hearing how I am and what I am is a lie and to be told I am something else. I know what I am and nothing is going to change that.
Point is, people are hell bent on telling me bisexuality is bullshit.
That's my rant.

There is a very simple solution to your problem: fuck everyone who doubts you. Then, not only will they believe you, but other people won't question your sexuality because word will have gotten around about how you dealt with the previous doubters.

 

[Char-Nobyl]

my main issue with the scale is that (and im sorry but it is only the lbgt community which does this) try and evaluate me into a sect, im not a 1 or 6 im a person. The labelling and need to associate with a label only serves to drive people apart. Which is opposite to my goal in that people should strive to be more social.

Labeling isn't actually bad. It can help promote understanding. the problem comes in when people try and take it as gospel, and it seems like you're doing that with the assumption that you can't be a 1 or a 6 and still be a complex individual.

Understanding that sexuality is more than linear is important to understanding, and charts and graphs and other visual aides really do help with that.

You're a person. That's awesome. and if we shed all our labels, we might miss that a disproportionate number of a certain group tends to get killed compared to others.

It's a nice, specious philosophy.

But there's a difference between 'labeling' someone and 'numbering' them. He had problem with the latter, not so much the former, at least as I saw it. And he has a point: of all the things about a person you shouldn't try to put into numerical form, emotions and sexuality are two of the foremost.

 

[TheSkaAssassin]

This is blatant bi-phobia and it's disgusting.

 

[Angry_squirrel]

I think some people believe that it doesn't because a lot of people have taken to thinking bisexuality is cool, and proclaiming they are, when in fact they aren't. I have a gay friend who says that more than once she's gone out with someone claiming to be bisexual, who've then decided they're straight.
I would go so far as to say that at least one-in-ten of my friends claim to be bisexual, despite most of them never having been (or shown any interest in being) with someone of the same sex.
It's just a fad that a lot of goth/emo/alternative teens think is cool, for whatever reason.
I've absolutely no doubt bisexuality exists though.

 

[klausaidon]

I'm actually at a phase where I have no idea if I'm bisexual, or gay. I've had relationships with guys, fell in love with guys, and had sex with guys. I've also have fallen in love with girls, however I've never had a relationship with a girl since I was 13, and never had sex with one. I've always seen girls as tricky, and don't care enough to ask a girl out. However, I think if one asked me out, I might not refuse.

 

[klausaidon]

I don't believe bisexuality is a bunch of bullshit. Apparently some people have this idea that sexuality is some black and white thing. That's there's no in between, you're either in one category or the other. Which is rather silly, because we're talking about something related to the human mind. Do they really think people can all be perfectly put into two categories which relate to 'what you like'?

I find that image to be a great example of sexuality. While there probably are people out there who are totally straight and totally gay, and I wouldn't be surprised if most people mainly one or the other, pretty much everyone is somewhere in between the two extremes. And there are probably some that are some totally different option, like asexuality.

I think that is how everything is portrayed, actually.

It's kinda a High School view of the world.

By the way, I love the little monster on the left side, with four green eyes. He is the only monster out of the bunch, that doesn't look a lil uncomfortable. I think he may have just ripped a big one, or something. I notice all the other monsters are avoiding looking at him, and the one behind him looks like he was just smacked in the face.

 

[LilithSlave]

I've encountered a lot of this myself. It's annoying. It's like some people can't wrap their head around bisexuality, and yet it seems so simple, if not the natural state of humans.

I myself can't seem to wrap my mind around the idea of heterosexuality or homosexuality. I mean, to me it seems like dating someone based upon their race.

I mean, someone technically being male or female, it seems like such a small thing. Aren't we all just people no matter what we're born as? Isn't it personality that which matters? Shouldn't, if you find humans sexy, find them sexy regardless of minor differences in physical features? Shouldn't people just be attracted to people? Isn't a penis or vagina just one tiny part of the body, and another thing to pee or seek pleasure out of? Heterosexuality and homosexuality honestly seem kinda shallow on several levels to me.

I mean, sure, I'm really into androgyny. But I really shouldn't be, it feels shallow, just like having an Asian fetish or something like that would be shallow. In the end, isn't personality what matters? And not what a person looks like? My attraction to certain physical features more than others is a flaw, not anything else.

Furthermore, even on a shallow level, men and women aren't that different seeming to be attracted to. And the penis and the vagina aren't more but one tiny little part of the body. Is it really that big of a difference whether someone has a meatstick or a hole in which they pee out of? Furthermore, I can't see what's much better about one than the other and how they're much different. One goes in a bit, one goes out a bit. They both have pee and sexual fluids that come and go out of them. They both seem about neutral to me. I don't have a gut reaction to either that's different. And I don't even understand why you would have much of a different gut reaction to either. Again, the penis and vagina are both made out of skin, are some varying colour of flesh, and both discharge fluids that are often quite similar. I'm attracted to both, so I don't understand, but both seem pretty similar to me.

Again, I just don't get it, huge gender preferences. It just seems... so trivial? I mean, perhaps my fondness for androgyny is a sexuality? Or you know, maybe it's just me being a shallow, objectifying douche gets way too into degrading things that have nothing to do with personality.

 

[Syzygy23]

how the hell would I know? I'm straight as a line, I don't know what other people are feeling. but for what it's worth: if someone says they're bisexual and they're not a 15 year old schoolgirl who thinks it's cool to be bi, I believe them. why wouldn't I? After all, I find the idea of having sex with a dude rather repulsive and I'm sure gay guys would find the idea of sex with a woman yucky. So why would someone who genuinely dislikes having sex with women date them if they're already 'out'?

A circle is made of a line... Just saying

That's why I tell people I'm not just straight, I'm super-linear.

 

[Michael Hirst]

Man likes women and dudes he's bisexual you better believe it. Sure even a bisexual person can have a preference one way or another but the simple fact is if you have no objection to sex with either gender then you're bi. If you exclusively like one gender then you're not bisexual.

These are very simple distinctions that one can understand from reading a dictionary.

Of course there's college bi, the amount of college girls I know who said they were bi for attention was amazing I think about 3 of them actually were and the other 40 just said it because they think guys like the idea.

 

[AngryMongoose]

I've not seen this opinon thrown around much; but then, I've only recently really realised I'm bi...

I find the viewpoint pretty offensive, however.

 

[AlexLoxate]

I was wondering the same thing actually. I myself have come to a conclusion that yea, bisexuality does exist and it's a wonderful thing. What isn't wonderful are heterosexuals or homosexuals who look down upon bisexuals. The problem is labeling.

Point: Like I told my ex-girlfriends new girlfriend, I don't really care, if I like a guy I'll go for it, if I like a girl, I'll go for it as well. Labeling from both sides is the problem.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

I've never fully understood bisexuality. I know that it is having an attraction to both sexes, but I'm not sure if it is like a choice (be with a male today, and be with a female tomorrow) or if you are just attracted to anyone, regardless of gender.

I guess the homosexuals and transsexuals have pretty much put themselves on blast for the last few years that people have come to identify them more easily than bisexuals. Often times, people mistaken bisexuals with people who are experimenting or still discovering their sexuality.

But seriously though, for a lot of adults, it's no longer an excuse. When you reach adulthood, you know full well of your sexuality, whether you choose to hide or ignore your feelings or interests is another story.

I also don't believe that you can 'convert' someone because all the converters and convertees are just nymphos. If you have a certain sexuality, you going to be true to it and for ANYONE to try and change you is just looking for f*** buddy.

 

[otakon17]

If you like guys, you like guys. If you like girls, you like guys. IF YOU LIKE BOTH, YOU LIKE BOTH! Me, I'm a heterosexual male. But this is my view on the other sexualities out there: If your not forcing anyone into it, and no one is physically or emotionally hurt by your choices then have at it! Sorry if it's slightly off-topic, but that's my two cents on the matter.

 

[Harker067]

Yes. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/23/health/23bisexual.html?_r=4 there's some proof.

 

[Siris]

You see this bicycle? It doesn't exist. It's actually a greedy and indecisive unicycle. Or perhaps it's a tricycle in denial.

But it sure as hell isn't a bicycle.

You have won at the internet

 

[Yonadav Engelberg-Barbiro]

I have to say that i dont believe in someone who is not bi to a certain degree. as a religous jew who belives that according to my religion it is forbidden to have homo-sexual realtion, i think that we are all attracted to both sex somehow. if i had to put on a scale from 1 to 10 i would say that who we call straight i attracted 10 to women and 1/2 for men. Those, usally religious men who say they cannot understand men who are attracted to men, are in my opinion, lying to themselevs and others. i also never ought the whole will and grace women's lady parts are yucky...

 

[holy_secret]

In order not to confuse anyone, I need to tell you that I'm a dude.

That gets you points right off the bat, and explains a lot. When a guy is a practicing bi, it has a lot more weight behind it than when a girl does the same. It's a gender double-standard, but it's kinda true. You don't usually get straight guys making out with their fraternity brothers through college because of booze alone.

I've heard this. A lot of times.
Wherever I go, whomever I talk to, this is the thing that pops up in their mind.
Their gender or sexuality doesn't matter, it's always the same.
If I tell someone I chose a guy in front of a girl, I have always got this as a response; "Maybe you are just completely gay". Every. Single. Time.

Actually, gender/sexuality does matter for one simple reason: you're speaking with people who aren't bisexual. For a heterosexual, it's easy to acknowledged a person as homosexual, and vise versa, simply because there's a clear divide in sexual preference. For either group to acknowledged that someone essentially occupies both groups is rather confusing, because it requires that they accept that you like who they like (gender-wise), but also the other side of the equation.

The same works the other way around. Except this time, the heterosexuals say that "maybe you were just experimenting with homosexuality" and the homosexuals say that "you are in denial bladibibla".
Even the last guy I was dating was like this. He was convinced I was homosexual because I was in love with him (and him being a guy).

Meh. I'd just be reiterating what I said above. Again, most people are either straight or gay, and being genuinely bi is something of an anomaly. A fair deal of the time, people are just referencing prior experimentation or the aforementioned booze-induced makeouts.

This was okay in the beginning. I didn't really mind this. I know what I am and I don't care what anyone thinks of it.
However. This has been going on for several years. It's not really about the years. It's about the fact that this has been going on for as long as I have been open about my sexuality.
Now, this is pissing me off incredibly. Of course, this makes these people say "oooooh why are you getting so upset huh? :3 You know what it means when you take it personal riiiiight?"

Wait...I'm actually not sure what you're getting at. What does it mean when you take it personally?

I'm not taking it personally, I am just tired of hearing how I am and what I am is a lie and to be told I am something else. I know what I am and nothing is going to change that.
Point is, people are hell bent on telling me bisexuality is bullshit.
That's my rant.

There is a very simple solution to your problem: fuck everyone who doubts you. Then, not only will they believe you, but other people won't question your sexuality because word will have gotten around about how you dealt with the previous doubters.

I do not take it personally. It is just annoying to have to hear the same thing all the time and has to give an explanation.
The same thing happened when I was traveling around europe. I always had to explain where I was from, and people would Always say "oh but you don't look Italian" when I said I am Italian and south American. Don't even get me started on how they reacted when I said I was from Sweden (I was born and raised here so saying I'm Italian or whatever feels weird).
Worst was in Germany where an old man said In German "he's as Swedish as I'm African" in condescending manner. I didn't exactly feel comfortable having to give him my family's history lesson. Well at least it was fun when i responded in German and he was mortified that I had understood his incredibly rude remark.

 

[jessegeek]

That gets you points right off the bat, and explains a lot. When a guy is a practicing bi, it has a lot more weight behind it than when a girl does the same. It's a gender double-standard, but it's kinda true. You don't usually get straight guys making out with their fraternity brothers through college because of booze alone.

I'm sure you didn't mean it like this, but your comment highlights a very common female stereotype of bisexuality. People frequently treat female bisexuality as anything from a phase to desperation because of the misconception that all females can just- I dunno- flip a gay switch and suddenly make out. It trivialises an innate part of many women's lives; something which they cannot change about themselves becomes views as a 'phase' or an inability to choose (NB- I'm well aware that bi guys have the same problem about being accused of being 'on the fence' too, I was mentioning that specifically in relation to- but not exclusively to- the female stereotype).

Additionally, that whole 'drunken sorority' bi stereotype really emphasises the belief that bi girls are by definition promiscuous, which just makes me really sad. As you may have guessed, I am both female and bi and for me dating has been difficult at times because a couple of my dates were convinced that I was going to be flighty or even cheat on them with someone of the opposite sex. I have never done anything like that, but at the same time trying to start a relationship with someone without making them aware of a key fact about me feels like lying. I can only speak from the experience of me and my friends in similar situations, but basically those sorts of flippant bi female stereotypes can be incredibly damaging.

 

[SteewpidZombie]

The irony is if homosexuals are saying that a Bi-sexual person is just in denial...aren't they technically re-enforcing stereotypes that they themselves have fought so long against?

Back on topic though: I'd have to say that you should just ignore them...or move to Canada (we're pretty tolerant)...buuuut unless you don't want to do the whole...swapping continents, I'd suggest that you just have pride in your own sexuality and continue living each day for each day (as I sound more like a hippy by the second). Cause many people just don't understand things as basic as sexuality (or even how to freaking use a turn signal in traffic...AAARRRRGGG!!), and you shouldn't let it worry you dude.

To quote a famous stoner (Saint'Bob Marley of the church of Chillin Out)..."One Love, One Heart, Let's get together and feel all right"

 

[Liquid Paradox]

hmm... six pages. I really doubt that I can add anything at all to this conversation.

But this is how it works.

People tend to have very limited experiences in life, and this is especially true when they tend to favor one sex exclusively over the other. Unfortunately, because they are too dim-witted to believe that any truth other then their own is even possible, they try to justify their feelings by telling themselves that other people's feelings don't really exist.

You know homophobic heterosexuals? How they will swear up, down and sideways that homosexuality is unnatural? They do this because they simply lack the cognitive capability to imagine a situation other then their own. There people also judge others on a basis of personal taste in things like hobby's, music and movies.

On the flip side, you have equally stupid homosexuals. Now, homosexuals cannot deny that heterosexuality exists, because that would be completely retarded (that that that stops some of them). So, instead, they convince themselves that because they themselves stick to one side of the fence, this must be true for everybody else as well.

Finally, have you ever heard the "Everybody is Bisexual" debate before? Essentially, this is what happens when one of my previous examples of pseudo-humanity happens to be a bisexual. Because they cannot sexually differentiate between male and female, they get it in their heads that this is, in fact, a persons default sexuality. I mean, if it's true for them, it must be true for EVERYONE, right? When a person is either hetero or homo, what they are actually experiencing is a bisexual preference for a particular gender.

Just for the record, I am bisexual myself, and even I know that this is a load of self justified horse crap. Why can't a person be bisexual without needing an excuse?

P.S. yes, I went out of my way to be insulting several times. I did this because it was fun.

P.P.S. for the third example, I was mostly joking. I am aware that pretty much every single person's sexuality is unique to them, and categorizing a person as gay, straight, bi or transgendered is one of the largest obstacles facing young people today in their search for sexual identity.