Bisexuality doesn't exist

[Cenequus]

In order not to confuse anyone, I need to tell you that I'm a dude.

I've heard this. A lot of times.
Wherever I go, whomever I talk to, this is the thing that pops up in their mind.
Their gender or sexuality doesn't matter, it's always the same.
If I tell someone I chose a guy in front of a girl, I have always got this as a response; "Maybe you are just completely gay". Every. Single. Time.

The same works the other way around. Except this time, the heterosexuals say that "maybe you were just experimenting with homosexuality" and the homosexuals say that "you are in denial bladibibla".
Even the last guy I was dating was like this. He was convinced I was homosexual because I was in love with him (and him being a guy).

This was okay in the beginning. I didn't really mind this. I know what I am and I don't care what anyone thinks of it.
However. This has been going on for several years. It's not really about the years. It's about the fact that this has been going on for as long as I have been open about my sexuality.
Now, this is pissing me off incredibly. Of course, this makes these people say "oooooh why are you getting so upset huh? :3 You know what it means when you take it personal riiiiight?"
I'm not taking it personally, I am just tired of hearing how I am and what I am is a lie and to be told I am something else.
That's my rant.

So escapist people. What do you think of bisexuality? Is it a bunch of bullshit?

I can totally understand your frustration. On the other hand I really think that the majority of the people are bisexuals even if they have been heterosexual or homosexual for all their life.As anything sex related it all comes down to hormones,and the difference is so small from what makes one homosexual and heterosexual that the grey area of bisexuality is even larger.It would normally take very little to fall inlove for a specific person of another or same gender but usually it's our society itself that blocks it. Once you get labeled as hetero or homosexual you kind off tend to stick to that side and block everything else.

I totally agree it's something personal,I for example in my last 28 years I've been strict heterosexual,but it could happen one day to fall for a guy that might have the same psycological character that usually have the girls I normally fall for. Could or could not happen,doesn't matter but that won't make me a gay,I'd still be heterosexual but be part of that bisexual dormant majority. Same goes for a homosexual,could happen one day fall for that guy/girl of the other sex but that won't make you a heterosexual.

But that doesn't mean there aren't people that always had that equilibrium of knowing from the start that they are bisexuals,just like one knows once he gets butterflies in his stomach that he likes boys or girls.

So yes while I do consider today we've gone a long way as society into accepting homosexuality(still alot more to go)I feel like bisexuality is just a gray area that just confuses both comunities for the sole reason they fought each other so much to explain how different they were.


EDIT:Had to edit it a bit re-reading it to make my point less confusing

 

[Alluos]

"Well I like Strawberry AND Chocolate flavors... but I prefer Strawberry"
"OH HELL NO YOU DON'T, YOU HATE CHOCOLATE FLAVOR YOU'RE JUST IN DENIAL"

See how stupid that sounds?
It's entirely possible to play for both teams.

 

[Scrustle]

If you are bi and you prefer guys over girls or vice versa then of course that doesn't mean you're gay. You can have favourites, but still like both. Anyone who says you can't is an idiot. As for my opinion on bisexuality, I'm totally fine with it. I don't care about what anyone gets up to in the bedroom except someone who I want to be interested in me. But I have seen a lot of teenage girls who claim to be bisexual just to get attention. It's annoying.

 

[OriginalLadders]

Sexuality, like all things, does not exist in a binary "black and white" state, there are shades of grey in everything. There's a reason the Kinsey scale exists.

Anyone who claims bisexuality doesn't exist is spectacularly narrow-minded.

 

[Timotei]

Is it a bunch of bullshit?

I think I'll just leave this deer. [http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/23/health/23bisexual.html]​

Please don't try to dispute it. It's too early in the morning for me to have a headache.

 

[MassiveGeek]

Welcome to my existence.

No, but seriously, I can relate.
I am myself a lesbian, but I've previously had a boyfriend and I thought that I was bisexual. I ran into a lot of "it's just a phase" and "lol, no" when I announced that I thought I was bisexual, and I think that discouragement was part of why it took me so long to realise/accept that guys do absolutely nothing for me when it comes to sexual attraction and I do not have any drive at all to be with guys(though I do get along with them a lot, lot more than I do with girls which is frustrating to say the least).

People don't seem to realise that attraction is very fluid. Sexuality, to me, is what you're mainly attracted to and there may be exceptions in some cases, although of course some may never have any exceptions, but that doesn't mean that you're not straight/gay/bi/whatever, it just means you're human. Ever heard of the Kinsey scale? It looks something like this:

Spoiler: Le scale

If I were to place myself on that scale, I would probably be a 5 ½ because mentally/emotionally get along better with guys - but bisexual is not sufficiently accurate because I, as mentioned, have no desire to be with guys and I'll just be giving false hope to people and feeling bad myself because I'm not being honest.
I've gone way too much into this now...

tl;dr Bisexuality is just as real as all the other sexualities. Stupid people discourage you from liking whatever you want/do and there's no need to listen to them. In the end it's only their problem if they make it so themselves.

 

[guntotingtomcat]

Sexuality doesn't exist. We're attracted to people, not genders.

 

[Sinspiration]

Nope, just Chuck Testa.

But seriously, if you know what you are and what you like, in terms of bisexuality that means men AND women of course, then you are bisexual. If the thought of either is satisfying to you, then you are Bisexual.

Not to mention this means you have many MANY more sexual options than straight or full on same-sex couples. Gay men will only like gay men and consider the thought of sleeping with a woman wrong, and vice versa for women.

Never try to get an opinion on it from a gay man or a woman, especially a partner of yours, because they'll want to believe you could only love them, so clearly you're orientated towards them alone.

You yourself know what you are, you can be proud of it and any opinion otherwise can shove it far up where the sun doesn't shine (and probably enjoy it)

 

[Loonyyy]

Who cares whether it's "real" or not. If you want both genders, you want both genders. That's an observable phenomena. Just because it isn't explained doesn't mean it doesn't occur. And most research into the causes of homosexuality tend towards a spectrum definition of sexuality anyway.

Whatever you want, whatever you are attracted to, is entirely your affair. Anyone tells you different, ask them what next weeks lottery numbers are, since they appear to be psychic.

 

[Emperor Nat]

Bisexuality, same as heterosexuality and homosexuality, is a label.

Bisexuality is the label used to describe people with sexual attraction towards both genders.

It therefore cannot be said not to exist. It is a grouping term. :/

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

I thought it was scientifically more likely to be bi than anything else. Especially with women.
seems kind of odd to me that anyone would come to that conclusion

 

[AnarchistFish]

Sexuality is too ambiguous sometimes to fit into three categories but denying that bisexuality exists is idiotic. I haven't really seen this although I do see people referring to bisexuals as homosexuals, as if they were the same thing. That annoys me.

Sexuality doesn't exist. We're attracted to people, not genders.

lolwut

 

[Ilikemilkshake]

You're retarded stfu

Did you even read what the OP said? Way to go on contributing to the discussion.

If it was true then I have been switching back and forth for a very long time. :O I might just be undecided yet then! ^^

I call bull on it. I am bisexual. I like both sexes and if it is the right type, both are equally attractive. For me there is no clear "best" and I go both ways all the time.

I think most people are just trying to place you somewhere... If you are bisexual you are in that grey area, inbetween everything else and that is not okey apparently for some. At least that is what I felt when I read your post.

Well from experiance, 95% of "bisexuals" i know are just doing it for attention, oh look at me i kissed someone of the same sex im so cool, give me attention.

But speaking as a pansexual with quite a few actual bisexual friends, yes bisexuality is a real thing, its not just for people who cant make their mind up or are in denial.

Thank you for saying from your experience and no generalization.

I should probably clarify that most of the people im talking about who are bi because its cool, are teenage girls who well, think its cool and so arent really bi.

 

[AnarchistFish]

But speaking as a pansexual with quite a few actual bisexual friends, yes bisexuality is a real thing, its not just for people who cant make their mind up or are in denial.

Can you please explain to me the difference between pansexuality and bisexuality?

 

[Jamie McLaughlin]

last time i checked bisexuality is still considered a mental illness
i've never met a bi-sexual, always self labeled, who challenged my perception of this theory be it through dialogue or actions.
I'm too old now to have to think about it anyways as all the people i've met who used to think it was hip to be Bi have grown out of it.
Though there can be no doubt that having a Bi girlfriend was the closest i ever got to a 3-way, funny how unappealing that can be when you're the only stable participant.

Hah. You're cool, bro.

 

[EvilPicnic]

To be honest, I think sexuality is more of a continuum than the series of distinct labels that it often gets described as- in my opinion therefore 'bisexual' is a better descriptor of human sexuality than most.

I think this 'you are either HETERO or GAY' dichotomy is false, and mainly caused by societal pressure to conform to one group or the other, principally aimed at men. Notice how girls can make out with each other and still comfortably identify as heterosexual, yet the same is not true for guys.

Personally, although I consider myself mainly 'heterosexual' that is only because so far I've been only attracted to members of the opposite sex, and have never really felt any urges in the other direction. It would, however, be a disservice to myself to lock myself up in that box and deny other possibilities (however unlikely) in the future.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Doesn't make sense to me. If you have had sex with both genders and enjoyed it, how could anyone argue you are anything other than bisexual?

 

[Ilikemilkshake]

But speaking as a pansexual with quite a few actual bisexual friends, yes bisexuality is a real thing, its not just for people who cant make their mind up or are in denial.

Can you please explain to me the difference between pansexuality and bisexuality?

Its sort of hard to explain, so i'll let the magical font of knowledge known as wikipedia do it for me.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality

Basically im attracted to People, rather than any specific gender. And i dont really have to find someone specifically physically attractive in order to be romantically involved with them.

To put it humourously, its basically like being Super-Bi

 

[spartandude]

I get turned on by both men and women, simple as that

 

[intheweeds]

The same works the other way around. Except this time, the heterosexuals say that "maybe you were just experimenting with homosexuality" and the homosexuals say that "you are in denial bladibibla".

While I agree with that being bullshit, maybe I can explain at least the female homosexual view on this. Please understand that I am speaking in general and not about my specific views, but views that I have heard told to me in some cases combined with my own personal experiences.

Straight women ruin it for bisexual women. I will tell you why: Straight men find two women kissing hot. So straight women will sometimes 'fake it' to impress guys at the bar. They are also quite likely to go home with you one night and tell you they were just 'experimenting' the next day.

Straight men on the other hand(generally the same ones who like to watch the girls kissing in the first place), have a tendency to not take gay relationships seriously and are most commonly of the two sexes(in my experience) to be brutally homophobic(It's sexy when a straight girl does it, but a girl who doesn't sleep with men? That's just a crime against nature.). Probably because they are used to straight women for whom being gay is just another way to attract a straight partner. No one wants to date someone who is likely to bring another person into it, especially one who doesn't see you as a real person in the first place and perhaps actively hates you for existing.

I'm sure both sexes have this problem, but I don't know a single gay women who has dated a bisexual woman who at some point wasn't faced with them asking to sleep with men(i said I don't know one, not that they don't exist). This is disgusting in my opinion, those are the bisexuals who contribute to ruining it. If you make a commitment, you make a commitment in my eyes, period, full stop. Some people have a hard time believing that bisexual people can be monogamous with either sex though, for this reason.

After all straight people are straight all the time, gay people are gay all the time, but if a bisexual person has a three year relationship with either sex, they're bisexuality becomes invisible. I can see this being an issue for some who may want to continue with both so as not to 'lose' themselves. Its a long story, but invisibility is a big deal to some. 'Lipstick' lesbians have this problem, so do straight-acting or butchy gay guys. I'm a bit of a butch dyke myself so I don't have personal experience with this. Everyone knows I'm gay when I walk down the street, but personal identity is a big deal. Ask an albino black person.

No one likes to be somebodies experiment, or find themselves in a situation where someone they are dating is telling them they won't be happy unless they let them fuck strangers who probably hate them, so a lot of gay women refuse to date bisexual women or have anything to do with women who date men.

If all of your experiences with bisexuals are straight people trying to attract other straight people by using you as a 'lure', you tend to refuse to want to date this type and not take anyone seriously who tells you they are bisexual.

For the record, I don't know anyone who doesn't think bisexuality exists, just that you have to sift through so much 'fake' bullshit to get to a real upstanding one, that they might as well be leprechauns. If only one in 100 people who tell you they are bisexual are actually truthful, you will start to assume everyone who tells you they are bi is full of it.

Hell, 10% of the population is apparently gay, but you still have pretty much everyone everywhere assuming people are straight first and asking questions later.

Bah, this will be an interesting conversation! I will check back later, but I have to cut to go to a meeting. BOO!