Bisexuality doesn't exist

[Iron Mal]

To be fair most of those judgements of 'you're this' or 'you're that' are probably the result of how people percieve your current choices and interests.

If you're with a guy then to others it will probably look more like you're predominantly gay, if you're with a girl then it'll probably look more like you're just bi-curious more than anything (at least that's how I would imagine the general perception would go).

There's no reason to assume bi-sexuality doesn't exist but seeing as most of us frown on polygamous relationships it's often going to be hard to actually 'demonstrate' your equal interests towards both sexes (unless you date a guy and a girl at the same time but that could result in other problems).

Given how bi-sexuality has become somewhat popular now (especially amongst teenage girls) it's probably resulted in a lot of us adopting the same attitude we hold towards people who claim they have Asperger's on the internet (I am aware of the hypocrisy of me bringing that comparison up), for the uninitiated, it's along the lines of 'yeah, sure, show us some proof because we're sure as hell not gonna take your word on it'.

 

[ShakyFiend]

So escapist people. What do you think of bisexuality? Is it a bunch of bullshit?

Modern attitudes to sexuality are hugely perverse and strange; the idea of lust OR love that is gender specific is actually an idea thats: a. Mostly Western. and b. Mostly modern (ok there are exceptions, such as in countries that have had monotheistic faiths for a long time but this is generally true). In Japan for example traditionally homo/hetero/bi-sexuality dosen't exist; you fall in love with whoever you are attracted too and thats the end of it.

Basically i'v always thought that bisexuality is pretty much the universal human condition; all of us are capable of falling in love with men and women, and its the modern obsession with categorizing everything that is the actual bullshit.

 

[mrblakemiller]

I don't really get what's frustrating. Some people think you are something you're not. That was, what, all of high school? For all of us? Those four years taught me that what people who aren't my friends think about me makes absolutely no difference in my life. Some people think my belief in God makes me either the most intolerant person on the planet or an idiot that deserves to die (at least that's what they said). That changes nothing about who I am or how I intereact with the people I want to interact with.

I know it's going to sound homophobic, but I think the best way of never having to deal with this annoyance is not bringing it up in front of others, either in word or deed.

 

[Something Amyss]

I hate it too. In my heart of hearts I consider myself to be bisexual, but for a woman to say that out loud is to either be told you're just gay-for-attention or that you're a whore who will sleep with anything. The majority of my attractions are to men, so I tend to just bite my tongue and say that I'm straight.

All hail the Kinsey scale [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale] is all I'm saying.

Too limited for me, to be honest.

At this point, any "scale" or similar will probably fall short.

 

[x-machina]

As an Asexual I am confused by all of you. So don't worry!

It's probably not bullshit. Real bisexuals are easy to spot next to the "lol look I kissed my own/other gender, I am so hip." crowd.

I see this all the time on this site, and I do not understand it at all. Obviously I am not a doctor or anything, and yes I am talking out of my ass. But, it seems like a healthy adult should have some kind of sex drive. If you legitmately lack any kind of sex drive, doesn't that mean there is something wrong? Like a hormone deficiency or something?

 

[DanielDeFig]

First of all, despite bisexuality sometimes being used as an "excuse" for completely homosexual ppl who are not comfortable with being completely open about their sexuality or are simply unsure, no-one will know better about their sexuality than yourself. Even if you suspect someone to "actually" be homosexual/heterosexual, you don't go around telling that person, because if you suspect it, then they probably do too, and are taking their time dealing with it.

Finally, bisexaulity is a real thing. In fact, there is evidence to suggest that we are all on a "bisexual scale", with most ppl leaning more towards attraction to a single gender on on end of the scale. But as very few ppl are "all the way" to one end, then we are all at least a little bit bisexual. I'm guessing the biological explanation would be that it helps us identify if others of the same gender are more or less attractive than us, and measure how much of a threat they pose to taking attention away from possible mates.


On a side note: Personally, I feel that the world would be a better place if we were all fully bisexual.
We would have more ppl to pick from as romantic interests, the world might be less exploitative of a single gender (Not exactly gender equality, but it's something), and since overpopulation is actually a problem, I don't think a lot of ppl should complain that there's a 50% a person may never have children of their own (I say "should" because I know ppl are currently complaining).

 

[xplosive59]

Sure Bisexuality exists and there are plenty of bisexual people, including yourself, but whenever I hear people say they are bisexual I usually take it as bullshit, no offense to actual Bisexual people at all but out of all the people I know who say they are Bisexual only like 10% actually are, the rest just say they are for attention.

 

[Daverson]

Bisexuality exists. Questioning this is like questioning if Homosexuality really exists, or is just the work of Satanic corruption! (If you've having trouble with that predicament, I can give you my assurance, as a learned scholar, that it is, in fact, not the result the Satanic corruption)

The weirdest thing I've seen is gay people who insist that bisexuals are just homosexuals who don't want to out themselves proper. I have no idea how people who should know better about this sort of thing can be so persistently ignorant.

 

[repeating integers]

As an Asexual I am confused by all of you. So don't worry!

It's probably not bullshit. Real bisexuals are easy to spot next to the "lol look I kissed my own/other gender, I am so hip." crowd.

I see this all the time on this site, and I do not understand it at all. Obviously I am not a doctor or anything, and yes I am talking out of my ass. But, it seems like a healthy adult should have some kind of sex drive. If you don't wouldn't that mean there is something wrong? Like a hormone deficiency or something?

I think at least half of the people on this site who claim to be asexual are probably just trying to justify their inability to get dates - but this is the internet, where the people society would normally consider "weird" gather and talk about their preferences, so I think there's a high chance a lot of them genuinely just don't have any sex drive for some reason.

 

[TheGreatAndPowerfulZOG]

I laugh when people claim bisexuality but never pursue sex with one or the other gender (read almost all moderately attractive female "bisexuals"). Guys I'm more likely to believe, since they typically have nothing to gain socially from outing themselves. Anyway, I would never tell someone "you are not a bisexual", that would be a dick move... Doesn't mean I don't think it.

 

[Ham_authority95]

In order not to confuse anyone, I need to tell you that I'm a dude.

I've heard this. A lot of times.
Wherever I go, whomever I talk to, this is the thing that pops up in their mind.
Their gender or sexuality doesn't matter, it's always the same.
If I tell someone I chose a guy in front of a girl, I have always got this as a response; "Maybe you are just completely gay". Every. Single. Time.

The same works the other way around. Except this time, the heterosexuals say that "maybe you were just experimenting with homosexuality" and the homosexuals say that "you are in denial bladibibla".
Even the last guy I was dating was like this. He was convinced I was homosexual because I was in love with him (and him being a guy).

This was okay in the beginning. I didn't really mind this. I know what I am and I don't care what anyone thinks of it.
However. This has been going on for several years. It's not really about the years. It's about the fact that this has been going on for as long as I have been open about my sexuality.
Now, this is pissing me off incredibly. Of course, this makes these people say "oooooh why are you getting so upset huh? :3 You know what it means when you take it personal riiiiight?"
I'm not taking it personally, I am just tired of hearing how I am and what I am is a lie and to be told I am something else. I know what I am and nothing is going to change that.
Point is, people are hell bent on telling me bisexuality is bullshit.
That's my rant.

So escapist people. What do you think of bisexuality? Is it a bunch of bullshit?

Bisexuality isn't bullshit. In fact, it's further to the truth than "Gay" or "Straight" because almost nobody is completely one way or the other. It's all on a sliding scale that may or may not change throughout your life.

As for the people telling you bisexuality is bullshit, ignore them. You'll prove them wrong when they see you with both guys and girls as time goes on.

 

[LastHour1]

Bisexuality exists. Like everything else in life, sexuality is not a "black and white" thing. There are many, many shades of gray. Besides, as many other Escapists have said, no one would know your sexuality and who you are attracted to better than you, so if they ever tell you "Lol, you're just gay," give them a nice "Fuck off."

However, that said, I do think that most people who...well, advertise themselves as bisexuals only do it for attention, as if being bisexual would make them seem like a better person, or make them "cool."

 

[Kathinka]

why apply this stupid kind of categorization anyway? just date and have sex with whoever it's fun to you (and who consents, of course) and don't worry about terminology.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Personally, I count bisexuals as the luckiest people on the planet. I mean, just think of the selection they have at their disposal!

Alas, there is no guarantee anyone of that selection will have any interest towards us. Forever alone and so forth, but yeah there does generally seem to be an air of skepticsm about bisexuality, usually formulated from anecdotal evidence when encountering those more desperate for attention. To be fair, I have seen this sort of thing back when I was at school there were 2 or 3 pupils who went through periods of confusion saying they were gay/bisexaul then ending up straight by the time they reached sixth form and one particular guy calling himself bi to damn near everyone in school, apparently to impress a girl (fucking idiot -_-) then going back on it. Speaking as someone currently closeted it makes me worry about the facepalmingly obnoxious reactions I'll likely get, which I just know are going to be built on these same anecdotes about vociferous attention whores. But I suppose I shouldn't be so cynically presumptuous as them, I guess the only thing you can really do is grit your teeth, shrug, say 'haters gonna hate' and try to just continue pursuing what you want and not to let the comments faze you. Que sera sera and whatnot. That being said if I have to go through years of that like OP's situation I'll probably have punched someone in that time...

And can someone please make that damn scale go away, its gibberish, you are what you are you dont need a scale to define you.

I think the scale exists more to merely illustrate that there are in fact bisexuals with a preference rather than finding an arbitrary number or percentage to measure your attraction patterns or whatever. I just find the scale useful to present to those with a more binary view on sexuality, but I don't necessarily identify with it. I see people as individuals, either you find certain people attractive or you don't, I just don't really feel the need to tally percentages on it.

 

[bean burrito]

The singer Mika, who I have a lot of respect for, said this about his sexuality: "I've never ever labelled myself. But having said that; I've never limited my life, I've never limited who I sleep with... Call me whatever you want. Call me bisexual, if you need a term for me... I consider myself label-less because I could fall in love with anybody - literally - any type, any body. I'm not picky."

I think that there are some people that label themselves bisexual because they ARE unsure, or in denial, etc etc. But I think that the majority of mature adults who really think about their sexuality will be able to identify themselves (or chose not to) as whatever they feel describes them best, including bisexuality.

 

[DracoSuave]

So escapist people. What do you think of bisexuality? Is it a bunch of bullshit?

I am hetero. If someone were to walk up to me and say 'You can't be hetero, that's just a label!' I'd be insulted. Frankly, my sexual attraction to the female gender, and conversely, nonattraction to the male gender isn't a choice, it's just how I'm wired. Maybe it's how I'm raised, maybe it's biological, but outside of intellectual examination, I really don't give a fuck.

I am hetero. No one has my experience or feelings, and cannot define me based on their own.


Does that sound familiar, OP? You're attracted to some guys, and you're attracted to some girls. You're bisexual! How dare anyone tell you what it is or is not! They don't have your hormonee! They don't have your genitals! They don't know what thrills you go through when you meet that person you like! They don't know shit.

Don't ask ME if bisexuality is bullshit! I should be asking YOU! Is bisexuality bullshit? Your response is probably going to be no. And, well, you're more of an expert on the subject than I (or anyone) can be!

 

[wolf92]

As dumb as it is, that's just how we think these days, if a girl says she is bisexual then its hot, but if a guy says it suddenly he's just gay, no excuses

^ This

 

[ultimateownage]

Any gay who says something like that needs to shut up, because they don't even have the ignorance excuse.
To be honest, I don't think we should consider sexuality. Either you're attracted to someone or you aren't.