Blatant Lies

[FPLOON]

Don't forget the Mother, Father, Teen, Adult, Kids, and Elderly Choice... You can never have too many award shows...

You know the saying: "Award shows are part of a healthy, balanced lifestyle. Also cigarettes. Big ones."

Except the Halo Awards... Clearly the menace of the American Awards Society...

 

[Barbas]

Except the Halo Awards... Clearly the menace of the American Awards Society...

I hope never to see such carnage and nudity at an awards ceremony again in my lifetime.

 

[FPLOON]

Except the Halo Awards... Clearly the menace of the American Awards Society...

I hope never to see such carnage and nudity at an awards ceremony again in my lifetime.

That's what happens when you let the network executive host it, after all...

 

[Barbas]

That's what happens when you let the network executive host it, after all...

I told them to stick with cute and cuddly marmosets.

 

[FPLOON]

That's what happens when you let the network executive host it, after all...

I told them to stick with cute and cuddly marmosets.

Oh, they heard you... but, chose to go with their organs with their decision-making...

 

[Barbas]

Oh, they heard you... but, chose to go with their organs with their decision-making...

Then I must remove their organs with orbital bombardment.

 

[FPLOON]

Oh, they heard you... but, chose to go with their organs with their decision-making...

Then I must remove their organs with orbital bombardment.

Then, you can forget the subliminal bombardment for good measure...

 

[Barbas]

Then, you can forget the subliminal bombardment for good measure...

Best not to include several waves of angry honey badgers for good measure.

 

[FPLOON]

Then, you can forget the subliminal bombardment for good measure...

Best not to include several waves of angry honey badgers for good measure.

Or the use of a good measuring stick for good measure...

 

[Barbas]

Or the use of a good measuring stick for good measure...

I will also make sure to inhale several martinis and coke beforehand.

 

[FPLOON]

Or the use of a good measuring stick for good measure...

I will also make sure to inhale several martinis and coke beforehand.

Just don't use the mentos that didn't come with the coke, though...

 

[Barbas]

Just don't use the mentos that didn't come with the coke, though...

I'm just going to play it by ear.

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

I'm all about that bass.

 

[FPLOON]

Just don't use the mentos that didn't come with the coke, though...

I'm just going to play it by ear.

That's a deplorable idea...

I'm all about that bass.

No tremble?

 

[Evil Smurf]

I'm just going to play it by ear.

That's a deplorable idea...

I'm all about that bass.

No tremble?

Nah, I'm on new meds now.

 

[FPLOON]

I'm just going to play it by ear.

That's a deplorable idea...

I'm all about that bass.

No tremble?

Nah, I'm on new meds now.

You must have all the right pills from all the right places, then...

 

[dalek sec]

Not busy reading at all tonight.

 

[FPLOON]

This isn't already an interesting week for me in the scheduling department...

 

[Barbas]

This isn't already an interesting week for me in the scheduling department...

If it makes you feel better, I've just accidentally splashed my tights. I'm going to have to wait until the department store closes before I can leave unnoticed.

 

[FPLOON]

This isn't already an interesting week for me in the scheduling department...

If it makes you feel better, I've just accidentally splashed my tights. I'm going to have to wait until the department store closes before I can leave unnoticed.

Sounds like a typical day at my job at Home Lowe's...