Blatant Lies

[FPLOON]

That's a risk I ain't willing to take!

That and the uncontrollable sharting? 'Cos that'll happen.

In the words of Taylor Swift: The shart is gonna shart shart shart shart shart....

 

[Barbas]

In the words of Taylor Swift: The shart is gonna shart shart shart shart shart....

That song never deserved to beat 'Let It Douche' at the charts.

 

[FPLOON]

In the words of Taylor Swift: The shart is gonna shart shart shart shart shart....

That song never deserved to beat 'Let It Douche' at the charts.

That's because it was never about the face... 'bout the face... No shocker...

 

[Barbas]

That's because it was never about the face... 'bout the face... No shocker...

Taylor Swift's music is probably more pleasant to listen to than Jeremy Soule's.

 

[FPLOON]

That's because it was never about the face... 'bout the face... No shocker...

Taylor Swift's music is probably more pleasant to listen to than Jeremy Soule's.

Only one of those I know does it for the hatred of music...

 

[Barbas]

Only one of those I know does it for the hatred of music...

Jeremy Soule's not very talented. I find myself listening to his many video game soundtracks and wondering what it would be like to be mercifully deaf.

 

[FPLOON]

Only one of those I know does it for the hatred of music...

Jeremy Soule's not very talented. I find myself listening to his many video game soundtracks and wondering what it would be like to be mercifully deaf.

The fact that he won a fucking Grammy just hammers that point home even more...

 

[Barbas]

The fact that he won a fucking Grammy just hammers that point home even more...

Whatever, man, Grammys and Spammys and Emmys and Nummys and Plummys and Remmys are mainstream.

 

[FPLOON]

The fact that he won a fucking Grammy just hammers that point home even more...

Whatever, man, Grammys and Spammys and Emmys and Nummys and Plummys and Remmys are mainstream.

Don't forget the Mother, Father, Teen, Adult, Kids, and Elderly Choice... You can never have too many award shows...

 

[Barbas]

Don't forget the Mother, Father, Teen, Adult, Kids, and Elderly Choice... You can never have too many award shows...

You know the saying: "Award shows are part of a healthy, balanced lifestyle. Also cigarettes. Big ones."

 

[FPLOON]

Don't forget the Mother, Father, Teen, Adult, Kids, and Elderly Choice... You can never have too many award shows...

You know the saying: "Award shows are part of a healthy, balanced lifestyle. Also cigarettes. Big ones."

Except the Halo Awards... Clearly the menace of the American Awards Society...

 

[Barbas]

Except the Halo Awards... Clearly the menace of the American Awards Society...

I hope never to see such carnage and nudity at an awards ceremony again in my lifetime.

 

[FPLOON]

Except the Halo Awards... Clearly the menace of the American Awards Society...

I hope never to see such carnage and nudity at an awards ceremony again in my lifetime.

That's what happens when you let the network executive host it, after all...

 

[Barbas]

That's what happens when you let the network executive host it, after all...

I told them to stick with cute and cuddly marmosets.

 

[FPLOON]

That's what happens when you let the network executive host it, after all...

I told them to stick with cute and cuddly marmosets.

Oh, they heard you... but, chose to go with their organs with their decision-making...

 

[Barbas]

Oh, they heard you... but, chose to go with their organs with their decision-making...

Then I must remove their organs with orbital bombardment.

 

[FPLOON]

Oh, they heard you... but, chose to go with their organs with their decision-making...

Then I must remove their organs with orbital bombardment.

Then, you can forget the subliminal bombardment for good measure...

 

[Barbas]

Then, you can forget the subliminal bombardment for good measure...

Best not to include several waves of angry honey badgers for good measure.

 

[FPLOON]

Then, you can forget the subliminal bombardment for good measure...

Best not to include several waves of angry honey badgers for good measure.

Or the use of a good measuring stick for good measure...

 

[Barbas]

Or the use of a good measuring stick for good measure...

I will also make sure to inhale several martinis and coke beforehand.