Breaking up, and how to deal with it.

[mshcherbatskaya]

In summary: How to deal with breaking up? Find out whatever I did and do the opposite. There you go. That's my best advice.

what if you were just yourself?

I was myself, for about three months at a time, and then I'd spend a month being someone else, someone with a lot more anxiety, a lot more hostility, and a lot less tact. (Yes, that's right, less tact! Hard to imagine, I know.) Then I'd go back to being myself, just with more fatigue and more blowback to deal with. I'm looking forward to the option of being myself on a more consistant basis now.

 

[opium of the people]

i just go out to get really drunk, find a girl who looks like my ex, take her home and then dump her as soon as she enters my apartment. it gives me a feeling of closure

 

[rayxofxsunshine]

I honestly don't believe there's a "method" to getting over someone. Physically you have to break the neuron pathways in your brain and make new connections overpassing the old ones, but mentally, you just do. I think everyone does whatever it takes to keep them above clinically depressed or insane until that pivotal moment in which they just snap and get over someone, and yes, I believe it's a solitary moment. One that takes forever to get there, though.

But, let's see. My last break-up (in a long line of really weird break-ups that I will someday write about because they're just that damn weird/comical/whatever) was with a guy much older than myself. He was everything I could want in a guy - physically attractive but not crazily so, emotionally stable, a gamer, sarcastic - so of course I was smitten. After a few great months, I don't hear from him for a few days (which wasn't a huge stretch because he had problems with a broken screen on a cell phone). Then one day (after which I was getting pissed at his absence) he sends me a text message saying it's not working out. No reason whatsoever (so I assume he's banging someone else). I'd like to point out I was 21 at the time and he was 26. *sigh*

I just told myself that yeah, I was sad he was gone, but that would pass. I reminded myself of all the little inklings that told me it wouldn't work out, and then the way he broke up with me spoke volumes for his idea of the relationship and his own self-worth. One day I actually believed what I said, and that was that.

 

[Fret098]

hmm honestly ive seen my share of bad examples of women like at every turn..crazy/whore either one fits at least 80-90% of the women ive met in my lifetime. Though i have met one women that stands above them as a shining example of a human being, hardworking,careing,and never giveing up what she wants. my girlfriend/soon to be wife /yay for me. But it takes awhile to find that certain person if you ever end up finding him/her at all and you have to keep an eye out for crazyhoes along the way. What im trying to say here is that if you did noting wrong and got dumped by him/her dont feel bad, I know it hurts ive been there done that. I realized that if they are willing to dump you for no reason its because they want to be with someone else and/or they never wanted you in the first place or at least not what you thought they wanted you for. Keep your chin up and keep walking along that road until you find someone worth being with dont settle for that crazyhoe that cheats on you every time you turn your back, look for that person that will be with you though good times and bad,that will talk to you for hours and not realize it and care for you when your feeling down. Hang in there PPLZ

 

[WlknCntrdiction]

Yeah, I know... Maybe, if I start thinking about it, I can forgive humanity.. (And yes, I DO hate humanity as a whole... or at least mistrust it...) I know that for every shining example of a shitbag there is at least one good person. You and Angel.Slayer are examples. And yes, I do resent myself a little for my past mistakes... Mainly because I can't seem to stop picking up the burden of my past mistakes, and fear I am not doing things in the correct manner again... I love Jallil and want to be with her because she maes me happy, but on a deep level, I am afraid I am just like every other scumbag I have known... I don't want to hurt her again, she doesn't deserve it. And I fear that my lack of trust may be hurting her... I think I need some more time to contemplate WHY I have this deep mistrust of people so I can finally get over it... And I know JUST where to start....

im right with ya there mate. its not that i hated humanity or ever did really but ive just had a really hard time trusting ppl, like they were always out to stick a knife in my back, i mistrusted ppl long before i cud ever remotely trust them in my eyes, even my parents, which was really bad. i have my friends in college to thank for making me see that there are some ppl you dont trust(like a certain ex girlfriend stealing ex "friend" bastard who shall remain nameless)and ppl you trust, well not with your life but you trust them to be there for you and for you to be able to talk to them about anything like i know i can with my friends.

when i was going out with my ex 5 months ago my old mistrust issue crept back up again cause this was my first relationship and i didnt want to give away my heart if i knew it was going to be broken straight away, however my ex did truely love me and i ended up hurting her because of my mistrust, we only broke up several weeks ago but there isnt a day i dont think of how stupid i was not to trust her, she did so many things for me and i let her down. it didnt help that she instantly started going out with someone i regarded as one of my "true friends", which just proves i mistrusted the wrong person in the grand scheme of things. i dont automatically distrust ppl anymore, but i will careful who i trust after wats happened in this episode.

needless to say that guy has been cut from my life, him and my ex wont last and i know she will be back but im not gunna stoop down to his level and grab her as soon as they break up, im gunna wait for her to come to me cause i know she will, eventually, and ill be waiting to make everything better. she even told me she trusts me more than her current "bf", he just got pwned lol.