Broken heart, any suggestions on what to do?

[Jazoni89]

Step 1 - Get a box of Kleenex preferably Mansize.

Step 2 - Listen to this song, preferably on loop for a while.


Step 3 - Cry your eyes out on the keyboard.

Step 4 - Then grow a pair of balls, and get over it. Their's plenty more fish in the sea, and be thankful you're not a socially inept retard like me, and you can get girlfriend's. It's possible that I might not even have a opportunity for a proper relationship in my lifetime.

 

[ELD3RGoD]

Honestly? What I do is delete all contact, block comms on FB and remove her number if you have it so they don't keep popping up, get rid of all the stuff that reminds you of her. Arrange to go out with the lads for a weekend clubbing, get absolutely lashed and - this is the important part - DON'T GO OUT LOOKING FOR GIRLS. Let your mates spot for you but NONE OF YOU should attempt to get women. Just dance and ignore any advances for the start of the night. Trust me, they'll love the fact you aren't coming on to them. Then by the end of the night, they are usually in your pocket and don't say, "Ohhh, I don't feel it tonight". JUST GET OUT THERE!!!!

 

[Terminate421]

Unleash a Cartharsis of emotion through Gears of war 3.

 

[3aqua]

I have no experience in such matters but when I'm feeling blue I listen to sweet, sweet music (the more familiar the better.)
Also try and make light of the situation, make jokes about your ex-girlfreind and her douche of a new boyfriend. And talk to friends or family, sometimes a bit of advice from someone who really knows you is extremely useful.

Good luck : )

 

[Project_Omega]

"Why do they want the muscly douches instead of nice guys"

That phrase right there killed any motivation I had to help you.

Dude, shut up.

Prepare for wall of text containing whining.

So about two months back my girlfriend for 3 years dumped me because she "couldn't handle" the same distance we had between our homes for those 3 years and she hadn't complained one bit before. We had started planning our future aswell, and out of the blue she didn't want me anymore. Coincidentally she also got a new boyfriend about a week after dumping me, a guy I introduced her to aswell. A guy with muscles and a guy that's a douche. They don't have anything in common either.

We're stil trying to stay friends, and I don't think she can really shut me out since I was there for her when her dad and both her grandmas died.

Why does girls always go for the muscular douchy guys when they say they want a nice guy?
And do any of you people have any suggestion on what I can do to ease the sadness I feel when I see them posting about their "eternal love" all over the place?

Thank you for letting me vent my shit all over your screen.

Anyway, Isolation is your best solution, as long as you also try to distract yourself.

Also, try counceling (Friend or 3rd Party). I found that talking to someone about it made me feel better, you have to remember that there are people out there that care for you.

And on the subject of *****?

I had an identicaly situation, but my ex was disabled, so you can see how much effort I had to put 'into' her (bow chicka bow wow?). Week later, she started dating a guy called David, as if nothing happened. The only difference was that I wasnt in a long distance relationship.

1 year after the break-up, I realised that I was dating an undead-corpse without feelings rather than a woman of my dreams.

OT : Oh, about the 'friends' thing? When she broke up with me, I left and slammed the door behind me (Theoritically, I was actually dumped through a text in middle of a lesson), wailed on how she was the most important person to me. Blah. Blah. Blah.

I disappeared without a trace and never came back. I want nothing to do with her.

I suggest you do the same, seriously dude. As one of the guys on here said :

The best thing you might want to do is make her feel that you got over her, that she is out of the picture and no longer important. Women hate that, and she will literally rage at you, you might even break her heart. Revenge is best served cold.

 

[One of Many]

Prepare for wall of text containing whining.

So about two months back my girlfriend for 3 years dumped me because she "couldn't handle" the same distance we had between our homes for those 3 years and she hadn't complained one bit before. We had started planning our future aswell, and out of the blue she didn't want me anymore. Coincidentally she also got a new boyfriend about a week after dumping me, a guy I introduced her to aswell. A guy with muscles and a guy that's a douche. They don't have anything in common either.

We're stil trying to stay friends, and I don't think she can really shut me out since I was there for her when her dad and both her grandmas died.

Why does girls always go for the muscular douchy guys when they say they want a nice guy?
And do any of you people have any suggestion on what I can do to ease the sadness I feel when I see them posting about their "eternal love" all over the place?

Thank you for letting me vent my shit all over your screen.

Mate, I'm in the same boat. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me about a year ago now and I'm still getting dragged down with sadness now and then. Of course it doesn't help that I dated her for about 4 years, a week after we broke up she started dating someone new (who is more muscled then me and looks like a douche but I can't tell you what his personality is like) and she's getting married to him in 9 months.

 

[Varrdy]

I dunno mate but if you find out, please let me know!

Wardy

 

[Ledan]

I don't have any experience to help exactly.
My girlfriend just broke up with me, due to long distance being to hard for her. But.... we are still friends, she tells me she is still the same amount of in love with me, and we are still in contact. So it feels much more like a long break than anything....
UNLESS,
As I have been reading: she shacks up with a douchy muscular guy...... is that inevitable?

OP: If she got together with another guy, pretty much immediately after you broke up, I say there is no point in keeping in contact with her. It's just going to make it harder for you to get over her, and she appears to be over you. Sorry. Hope you have some good friends, and good luck to you!

 

[TheLoneBeet]

I'll chip in my two cents but I can't promise results. It works for me but it takes a certain type of person to really pull this off.

The less you see or hear of her the better. I always do this. Even if the break up is mutual or I'm the one who dumps them. It's just easier if they're out of your mind and if you're still in contact (even little things like their posts on your facebook news feed or anything like that) it's hard to move on. I suggest taking at least a month without talking to her (you can respond if she talks to you but don't go out of your way to talk to her)

By the end of that month if you're not over her you'll at least feel better. If you need to, keep at it. I'm on level ground with all my exes. We're not friends but we're civil and I don't have lingering feelings. It's very difficult to save a friendship out of a break up. In my experience you're better off to just let go and move on.

Just my experience though, I can't promise success with this.

 

[___________________]

First thing. Don't be her friend. No matter what anyone tells you that is not healthy. Burn every single bridge you have with her.
Second thing. Restrict yourself from seeing those posts. Do whatever it takes to not see them. Third thing. Don't try to get a new girl right now. Wait until you've healed.
Fourth thing. Most women do not function like men but don't think they are not worth pursuing. Most of them just don't function like the following -> That person is not good to me = I despise that person. They tend instead to like that person more. Don't try to understand it as some women themselves admit they don't understand that behaviour either.

Final thoughts: There is no need to thank anyone for venting. You are a human like us and humans need to stick together especially in times of hardship; whatever the cause may be.
Keep your mind busy. Hang out with friends, concentrate on work/university or any activity that does not remind you of that person that betrayed your trust.

And here's some fast-paced music that might help your brain to feel distracted.

Spoiler

Stay proud, strong and head up high.

 

[DaedalusIcarus]

First off, that does not constitute a wall of text, hell I read 8 times that just taking a dump (are we really so scared of text these days that anything above 4 sentences is considered a wall of text ? )


What you're dealing with is basically chemistry and the need to procreate - you can rationalise it all you want but that's it - a girl is someone you get along with well enough while you desire her body, so you end up porking one another.

Realise that, and move the hell on - as has been stated previously, you need to tell her off and not be her friend otherwise you'll never move on.


The best thing you can do is to be rational about this:

a) she's *A* girl, not *THE* girl (this idea of "the one" is hopelessly romantic and stupid beyond everything - statistics really, what are the odds of you having (or being ABLE to, ever) find the best match for you ? Furthermore, can you even *know* how your "ideal" someone would look/act - if you think you know what you'd like the most then you need to swing by ice cream shops more, I'm certain you'll find some new flavour that will absolutely own everything you thought to be your favourite.

There really is much more reason in the old "plenty fish in the sea"

b) Chemistry - look up the chemical stages of love and you may be able to appreciate love for what it is and by that perhaps understand that what you're dealing with is really no different than quitting smoking.

I think most of the troubles people attribute to love is grounded in these old romantic views which still to this day are shoved down our throats by literature and films - it's just your body trying to make you procreate just like my body is telling me to acquire more chocolate.

 

[Eggsnham]

Prepare for wall of text containing whining.

So about two months back my girlfriend for 3 years dumped me because she "couldn't handle" the same distance we had between our homes for those 3 years and she hadn't complained one bit before. We had started planning our future aswell, and out of the blue she didn't want me anymore. Coincidentally she also got a new boyfriend about a week after dumping me, a guy I introduced her to aswell. A guy with muscles and a guy that's a douche. They don't have anything in common either.

We're stil trying to stay friends, and I don't think she can really shut me out since I was there for her when her dad and both her grandmas died.

Why does girls always go for the muscular douchy guys when they say they want a nice guy?
And do any of you people have any suggestion on what I can do to ease the sadness I feel when I see them posting about their "eternal love" all over the place?

Thank you for letting me vent my shit all over your screen.

Avoid contact with her and just do what normally makes you feel better.

Or copious amounts of marijuana and alcohol.

 

[winginson]

What I do is go out and get royaly pissed, then stop caring and find someone/something else to be obsessed by.

Never said it my method is a good one.

 

[Schmittler]

Prepare for wall of text containing whining.

So about two months back my girlfriend for 3 years dumped me because she "couldn't handle" the same distance we had between our homes for those 3 years and she hadn't complained one bit before. We had started planning our future aswell, and out of the blue she didn't want me anymore. Coincidentally she also got a new boyfriend about a week after dumping me, a guy I introduced her to aswell. A guy with muscles and a guy that's a douche. They don't have anything in common either.

We're stil trying to stay friends, and I don't think she can really shut me out since I was there for her when her dad and both her grandmas died.

Okie Dokie. A little over a year ago my girlfriend (of 4 years) and I parted ways, and (like you) she had a new boyfriend within a few months (even though one of our reasons was that she didn't want a relationship while pursuing her studies or some crap like that). At about the stage you're at now, I was doing the same thing, trying to stay 'friends'. Don't do it champ, it won't work, and you'll stay hung up on her for longer than you should. Endeavour not to see her or speak to her ever again. Let her know you don't want to be friends or stay in touch (This will be easier for you than it was for me anyway, because mine lives one street away, so, small miracles?). Otherwise, you'll have to keep hearing about how happy she is, how many new boyfriends she gets, all that crap, you don't need or want it.

Now is the time to do shit for YOU, and get your messed up little head completely off her. Hang out heaps with the friends you already have, and join a sports club or something, you don't even have to be any good. Just rock up to indoor beach volleyball or netball or something. Whatever, not even sports, just some interest group (But many cute girls play sports, just sayin...). Anyway, play your cards right and you won't have too much trouble, and you'll be happy, confident and awesome, just like me.

Huh, I think I've said enough. PM me if you really want, but this'll do. Don't listen to sad songs. Chin up laddy.

This was some great internet advice. I'm impressed.

Forgetting about it and moving on is the best part. Pick apart the things you didn't like about the relationship and be aware of them for next time. Life is, after all, a learning experience.

 

[Thundero13]

Until you feel better don't talk with her or anything, doing that will just remind you of her, do whatever you can to get your mind off of her until you feel better, then you can think about being friends

 

[Grey_Focks]

Citizen snips

What I would do? Does she have a sister (above the age of consent, ofcourse)? If not, I certainly bet she has a best friend or two. Or Hell, she has a mom. All joking aside, forget about her. As harsh as it sounds, just moving on is the best thing you can do, and don't even try to be friends with the *****. Or buy a jet-ski. It's pretty hard to be sad when riding a jet-ski.

As for women preferring muscular douches (oh god, the imagery...), that isn't always true, but when it is, it's because women prefer "Alpha males", guys who are confident, etc.....which is what they want you to think, and they might even believe it themselves, but that just isn't true. A lot of women out there just like assholes, plain and simple. Not saying they all do, as I don't consider myself an asshole but I'm happily married, but some just do. Learn to spot them, and avoid them, and your life will be much happier.

 

[LHZA]

People change? How old are you anyways? I'm not trying to rag on you, or say that you don't have reason to be upset (you certainly do) but especially if your young, like in your early twenties young, you can't expect your partner or even yourself to stay the same and always want the same things. Also the people who suggested you cut contact with her are right, at least until the pain has severely lessoned. Hang out with friends, play video games, or hey, if the break up is still new, spend a week of so not getting out of bed until 3 pm. Worked for me.

 

[Kair]

I hear you bro.

One solution is modern Stoicism. Just say "fuck it" and be over with it. It works very well.