Build a story

[UberMore]

I was just thinking that with so much untapped (and clearly well tapped) imagination on the Escapist, we, as a community, should write some sort of story.
Everyone does one sentance/paragraph/word and posts it, once they've read the previous post.
It think it'd be good if we wrote it on a the life of the Escapist, if it was a person in the real world (but that can contain as many imaginary features as you wish).

So, here we go:

Rubbing the sleep from it's eyes and turning of the alarm clock, the Escapist decided it was time it finally paid it's lawyers a visit after it ran over 3 grandma's on it's dragon the other day. It trudged downstairs and begrudgingly opened the pile of post gathering on it's dining room table, occassionally throwing bills and ads into it's overful bin.

 

[Internet Kraken]

"Threads like this are made all the time."

Escapist spat on the letter, ignoring the advice it gave it. Escapist then started yelling at people in a Church, claiming it was smarter than all of them.

 

[jasoncyrus]

He then picked up his trusty zippo lighter and flicked it. It didn't light. He flicked it again and again and yet still it would not light. It was then he realised he was flicking his bobble head doll of a dog named zippo. Infuriated he threw it at his tv which smashed, sending sparks everywhere, igniting the bin fill of bills, much to his pleasure since this was his original intention.

 

[UberMore]

-Not part of story-

How do you run over a granny while on a dragon?

It wasn't necessarily flying at the time...

 

[jasoncyrus]

-Not part of story-

How do you run over a granny while on a dragon?

It was quite literally running, over the grannies.

 

[0p3rati0n]

-Not part of story-

How do you run over a granny while on a dragon?

LOL only in the "escapist" world.

 

[ArcWinter]

He gathered his small tribe of worshippers, including a priest, a rabbi, a Texan, an imam, a homosexual and a bartender, and they danced long into midafternoon with the smoldering bills the centerpiece of their demonic ritual. Eventually, an unnatural wind blew through the door, signaling an otherworldly presence. It demanded the Escapist's attention. Unfortunately, his delicious morning toast was done. At the toasters ding, he smothered it with jam and entered the room with the spirit. The spirit began to speak...

 

[Tharwen]

"PLAY THE BEST SOOONG IN THE WORLD," it cried "or I'll eat your souls!"



(shouldn't this be in the forum games forum?)

 

[jasoncyrus]

At which point the escapist kicked the psirit in the crotch, stole it wallet and went on a massive fraudelent internet spending spree, purchasing viagra, vibrators and some disturbing latex items.

 

[Toners]

He then examined his broken TV, and realised there was a program on later he wanted to watch.
.. damn. He then realised that his addiction to shrooms (how else are you gonna run over an old lady on a DRAGON?) was causing turmoil in his life. He looked longingly at his cutlery drawer, where he kept his stash, but vowed he was never going to touch them again. He then proceeded to drink heavily and passed out on the kitchen table, sobbing quietly with tears of remorse for the crimes he had committed. He would have to face the music sooner or later...

that do anything for ya OP?

 

[Tharwen]

Several hours later, he awoke to the sound of police sirens sounding outside his window. He reached into the nether and activated his telekinetic powers, which he used to throw the smouldering wreckage of his smashed television set into the windscreen of the nearest car. The resulting explosion was enormous and amidst the ensuing chaos, he sprinted amongst the burnt out cars and charred corpses, pausing briefly to fire two telekinetic rounds into a yak from roughly 100 yds away. As he ran on, he thought he heard a distant voice cry "HEADSHOT!!!', but it must have been a plea for aid from one of the survivors of the explosion. He dived behind a fence to catch his breath and to plan his next move...

 

[Spleenbag]

Escapist decided that the situation left him no choice: time to pop some shrooms. After ingesting them, he realized that he was as free as a bird. He stole a police cruiser and began driving over all the screaming golden coins in the road, laughing wildly and watching his point total grow higher and higher. He managed to eke a couple one-ups out of the coins before driving his cruiser directly into the wall of the lawyer's office.

 

[Tharwen]

"What the freakin' hell was that I just had the office painted LAST WEEK!" shouted the lawyer.

 

[EeveeElectro]

"I'm sorry!" cried the Escapist, tears running down it's face. "May I offer you a velvet moon muffin in forgiveness?"
"Perhaps," replied Mr. Lawyer, taking the muffin from Escapists outstretched hand. "Now, go act like Gary Numan. Go!"

 

[ThePocketWeasel]

The lawyer whipped a lazer gun out of his top drawer and began shooting at the Escapist, however he was no match for the Escapist who launched himself out the window, despite the fact it was the ground floor.

 

[electric_warrior]

To which Escapist replied, "Umm, I err.... what? Man you got a funny head, its like square and shiny and echoey.... where am I?" He then noticed the pattern on his shirt and stared at his chest, focusing on the pattern. The lawyer tried to make himself heard, "What about my fucking wall? Your paying for it buddy!!" but escpaist could not be reached and started softly giggling. Giggling, interminably, at the pattern on his shirt.

 

[Tharwen]

It had ducks on it.

 

[ThePocketWeasel]

Ducks with pimp hats.

 

[Trivun]

The pimp hats then grew mouths and began to speak...

 

[Toners]

The resulting explosion was enormous and amidst the ensuing chaos, he sprinted amongst the burnt out cars and charred corpses, pausing briefly to fire two telekinetic rounds into a yak from roughly 100 yds away.

It would appear that the escapist's hidden identity is YOUNG NASTY MAN!
hell yeah!