Bullying: Stop the complaining.

[Luna]

The OP is right. lol at the strawman arguments in response to OP, 'no one deserves to be bullied'. Nice try.

 

[Gregory McMillan]

I was bullied... Was being keyword.
I learned, I stood up for myself.
I've been hung up on a dumpster, beaten near death, choked till I passed out once, and got knocked around so much that its not even funny

And I got punished because the school had a policy that I probably did something to deserved it.

My dad called a lawyer, It bought us a new car.
The bullies in question?
Well I kept up via the internet long into high school, and after.

They are all dead or in jail.
I've married with a new baby girl. I feel like I won.
I kind of agree with the OP in the sense that some kids are WWAAAAAYYYYY to sensitive and are in no way capable of handling the harsh reality that will befall them. Reality, the adult world, is full of bullies, you will be bullied so much by society in general that you'd wonder if humanity is even worth saving.

I don't think bullies, bullying are however you cut it, is fair, or good, or should happen.
But I have a hard time feeling for kids who choose to harm themselves instead of speaking out.
Yes I have attempted suicide, multiple times. And no amount of what happen to me can justify that crime.
I feel for their families, their friends, and maybe a tinge of pity for them too. but you just don't get to opt-out when the going gets tough. I'm glad I failed at it, I'm glad I had friends and family there to support me. But what I did to myself was fucking wrong. No matter what my reasons.




We coddle to much, and then expect people coming into adulthood to be able to fend for themselves. I don't blame the victim in that case, I blame this over-protective culture. It's about temperance and balance. Would I want my daughter to be bullied? No. Do I want her to be a bully? Hell no. Do I think she needs to learn to stand on her own when the time comes? Hell yes, because that's what made me the man I am today. Because I stopped crying tears of sorrow and started crying tears of anger and frustration. I trained my body on a punching bag for months, till my fists we're lighting fast and smacked with the force of an iron ball. I trained my mind to think of more clever insults and funny come backs that most the kids turned my side. I learned that life isn't easy and would never be. So I learn to grow a thick skin, a good attitude and a never say quit mentality. I'm not the most successful person, but coming back from suicide and mental illness hardened me, turned me into a more successful person. Do I blame victims? no, do I not care for those who are bullied, no I care deeply, but I'm not going to beat up the bully for them. I'm going teach that kid how survive.

Give a man a fish... well complete the rest. I think maybe the OP was little calloused in his posting, but some of the rest of the other posters are coming down a little too hard. You can't protect children always, life, nature itself is a cruel cruel *****, and its best to learn those lessons early on, so they can grow to be more successful. We as a culture are bullied every day, by rich bankers, corporate sociopaths, government bureaucracy, road rage drivers, and all manner of unsavory people in our society. No one's going to protect us always, protection comes when the bullied stand up and say "Enough". And only then.

The irony is that you say we coddle too much, but you're also thankful that you had friends and family that supported you. You are lucky by comparison to the ones who don't have that support.

 

[miketehmage]

So much bullying goes on because most students are under the impression that nobody cares, that it doesn't matter, or that they should "just deal with it" especially males which is why Irish males between 18-24 Have the highest suicide rate in the country

I think there is a similar statistic in the UK, though I'm reluctant to believe it is caused by bullying.

Being a 19 year old Scottish male, let me share with you some of the things that get me down.

I am and always have been single.

I can attract girls for one night stands but generally I find them to be overrated.

My course at university is alot of hard work, plus I have to work during my time off uni in order to pay rent.
This means I do not have a single "day off" during term time.

Outside of term time my menial part time job becomes full-time, and I am constantly reminded of where I could end up if I fail.

So currently, I'm not enjoying life.


My point from all this is that any negative emotion I have, certainly does not arise from bullying.

As for my response to the OP, I think alot of the time people blow stuff out of proportion.
People being mean to you? Thicken your skin. Learn to laugh at yourself. Learn to have banter.

Unless someone is actively kicking the shit out of you daily, man the fuck up.

 

[Gregory McMillan]

You're right. No one DESERVES to be bullied, but it's going to happen. Give me an example of where you can't just "deal with it." Also, give me some solutions to said bullying that works. Telling a teacher and ignoring it are two options (that in my life) have NEVER worked.

How about when you're being ganged up on by 4-5 boys in your class, and everyone else is pretty much okay with it or tells you to ignore them?

I told loads of different teachers, and the adults who represented the whole school year. They pretty much did nothing, and being the socially awkward person I am, I couldn't really deal with it on my own >.>.

Plus I was like the weakest girl in school, so I couldn't really fight them either.. :I

That's not bullying. That assault. ಠ_ಠ

The point is that bullying will happen, so people have to learn how to deal with it.

Bullying encompasses assault.

 

[miketehmage]

The best thing to do is get a teacher and let that asshole know that if he tries it again, he'll just end up with a detention.

You seriously think that the threat of detention is worse than the threat of getting your ass kicked?

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

snip

snip

Spoiler

So basically; 'I stopped being sad and started being awesome.' Sure thing there tough guy. Say, you know what's even less fucking helpful then churning out the same old platitudes of 'tell a teacher/just ignore it'? Giving out condescending and victim blaming platitudes like 'jus stand up fur yurself HURR DURR' as if the concept of throwing a fucking punch back at them would never have dawned on them had you not imparted this slice of fucking genius. You can have all the confidence/gusto/perseverance/courage/heart of the cards you like and try to take them on; but at the end of the day, if you're outnumbered or the aggressor in question is simply bigger and stronger, then you're quite simply going to get your ass handed to you no matter how fervently you fight back. Some kids just aren't cut out to solve their problems with their fits and in this day and age they shouldn't fucking well need to and you're being extremely myopic or extremely disingenuous to think that merely putting up a fight in and of itself is somehow going to magically resolve the issue. As others have pointed out, even if you do come out on top in an altercation there's still the looming prospect of the bully coming back with more of his friends and possibly brandishing weapons or you could end up getting in trouble with the school just for acting in self defense. I'm talking solely about physical bullying here, the other side of things gets kind of complicated and I'll admit forthright I have no idea what to suggest there, but standing up for yourself in a fight is fairly fucking self evident; that advice is hardly a revelation for people and it isn't necessarily going to solve their problem, circumstances vary from person to person and the solution for your problem may not apply and could in fact only exacerbate matters. I'm not going to pretend that I have any decent answers for this either, I never really experienced any kind of routine physical abuse so I don't know what state of mind that would leave me in or how to surmount this kind of problem, but this line of self-aggrandising victim blaming bullshit isn't going to do anything to improve their confidence, it's just adding insult to injury. Literally.

 

[Henkie36]

snip.

When I write down the name Tim Ribberink, everyone in the Netherlands, Belgium and even parts of Germany will instantly know what I mean. So for those of you who don't, here's his story in a nutshell: Tim was a twenty-year student attending college, but he killed himself not too long ago. His parents decided to put up his farewell letter in the obituary notice in the paper and it said this:

''Dear mom and dad, I've been bullied, teased and excluded my entire life. You are the best. I hope you're not mad at me. See you around, Tim.''

That is the letter loosely translated, but it sent a shockwave through the entire country that this is a very real problem, and it continues to exist, on a much larger scale then anyone thought. It's easy for one to say ''you shouldn't make such a big deal out of this'' but the simple fact is that you are wrong. People are commiting suicide with bullying as the reason and it still happens.
Your solutions are still a part of this problem, sadly enough. The victims don't do what you so easily write down here because either threats have been made what will happen if they do, they're scared to begin with or don't want to tell their parents because they worry about leting them down.
My advice to you would be: Take a milder standpoint, and talk to the people who have really experienced it. You are not one of them, because otherwise, you wouldn't have talked so lightly about it.

 

[Full]

With the brittle bones I have there was no "solving it on the playground". Unless I wanted to die, I mean I guess I would've technically won.

 

[Kinguendo]

Yeah, its the way the bullying is presented that makes people kill themselves... not the bullying itself. Good job blaming the victims, and you chose good victims too because these ones are too dead to fight back(!)

 

[Myndnix]

Like...a lot of people here, as far as I can see, I was bullied a ton- most of my life through school. The best solution I found is to fight back. Physically, if you have to. Teachers won't do anything if you tell them you're being bullied, nobody will. You have to show bullies that you can stand up for yourself.
Sure, I'd get all kinds of punishments for constantly getting into fights, but I'd rather be detained and shouted at than get my ass kicked.
Bullying sorta stopped later in my school life because I quickly became one of the tallest people in the school (As an adult, I stand at almost 6'5). Though that's not exactly a solution for most people...

 

[AngloDoom]

The best solution I found is to fight back. Physically, if you have to.

The problem is that this only works if you have a single bully. If there's two or more people trying to hurt you what can you really do about it?

OT:

People should, of course, learn to deal with bullies. The problem is, not everyone is in a position to do so so what do we do for them? How does the small child who gets thrown around fight back against a group of larger children? Who does a child turn to when informing a teacher or parent only makes it worse?

There's no easy answer for any of this, really. In the end, people have to grin and bear it as much as possible, learn to play the social games, or move area and start again. These aren't terrific options.

 

[Pandalisk]

So much bullying goes on because most students are under the impression that nobody cares, that it doesn't matter, or that they should "just deal with it" especially males which is why Irish males between 18-24 Have the highest suicide rate in the country

I think there is a similar statistic in the UK, though I'm reluctant to believe it is caused by bullying.

Being a 19 year old Scottish male, let me share with you some of the things that get me down.

I am and always have been single.

I can attract girls for one night stands but generally I find them to be overrated.

My course at university is alot of hard work, plus I have to work during my time off uni in order to pay rent.
This means I do not have a single "day off" during term time.

Outside of term time my menial part time job becomes full-time, and I am constantly reminded of where I could end up if I fail.

So currently, I'm not enjoying life.


My point from all this is that any negative emotion I have, certainly does not arise from bullying.

As for my response to the OP, I think alot of the time people blow stuff out of proportion.
People being mean to you? Thicken your skin. Learn to laugh at yourself. Learn to have banter.

Unless someone is actively kicking the shit out of you daily, man the fuck up.

Last guy said that too and i agree its not the reason, but certainly a factor especially if you add in social pressure regarding machismo.

I'm in the same boat as you though, too much work, no play and i've never even had a one night stand so i don't even know about its over-ratedness. I was assured that college was meant to be a blast, not so if you want to do well it seems.

 

[shrimpcel]

OP, you gotta understand that children don't necessarily have the same capabilities as adults. When you talk about using your fists to take care of your problems, it's not an option available to all. Kids can't work out to increase their muscle mass, and even practising sports at such a young age won't give them much of an edge in a fight. So naturally, some kids are bulkier and will take advantage of this to beat up other, less bulky kids, which have absolutely no way of fighting back.

I was bullied sometimes in elementary school, although never something serious as far as I remember and it mostly happened in the very early grades anyway. In high school, nobody ever bullied me, because I was by far the tallest. Again, not an advantage that all can have.

You could say that life is unfair, and that kids should learn to live with this idea in its various forms. The problem is, most bullies are idiots. Some of them are just assholes, but the majority are idiots. You can't reason against idiots. You can't win against idiots. An asshole might leave you alone after a while, either because he gets bored or because of some other change. With the idiot, it is BETTER to avoid the problem at any cost.

As a final personal experience to add to the "seriousness" of bullying... A young friend of mine (much younger than I am) hanged himself last year. He was thirteen or fourteen years old, I mix up the dates now. Bullying by his school colleagues is possibly the reason he took his life. This stuff is no joke.

 

[Kroxile]

Meh, if you can't get over it and off yourself its called social darwinism. Those who do tough it out or deal with it are rewarded with a very different life after high school when the social hierarchy bullshit is not anywhere near as prevalent.

I have confronted bullies twice in my youth and both times they stopped. Once because I finally just told the guy to put up or shut up and the second time because the guy decided to go with put up and he was made to shut up. Was I bullied by others even after that? Yes. But I toughed it out and found life to be much different after high school and here I am 10 years later with a wonderful girlfriend, a job, and bills to pay.

I am not blaming the victim and I do feel that bullies need to have their heads kicked in, but really... I am about as liberal as the next guy but all this coddling and pretending that there is nothing wrong with the person being bullied needs to stop. If one is weak enough to take things to the extreme over some bullshit then oh well, let them.

I'm aware that my views will win me few friends but on the internet you are all fictional characters anyway

 

[Andalusa]

Had a huge debate with someone on facebook about this a few days ago..

Spoiler: it's quite long

getting a bit sick of people bitching about 'cyber bullying', last time i checked its not possible to give someone a wedgy over the internet and believe me i have tried

but i think i have figured it out instead of teaching kids in school how to use the basic programs (Microsoft office adobe paint etc) they should teach kids that the browser the modem and the computer have an off button that is far more effective than the off button you put to your head...seriously chill the fuck out because if you don't value your life enough to hold onto it because some shit said on the internet then your life clearly isn't important enough for me to give you my sympathy
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Daniel - there....i finally fucking said it outloud...on the internet...
19 November at 00:06 · Like

Roxanne - Keyboard warriors
19 November at 00:07 via mobile · Like

Daniel - whiteknighting keyboard warriors
19 November at 00:08 · Like

Philip - It's possible for people on the internet, especially children, to get into a Stolkholme syndrome situation with forums. I was at one point. However I generally agree with you in teaching kids to use those basic functions to stop individual harrasment.
19 November at 00:13 · Like

Daniel - right phill but i don't see how it is even possible to harass someone over the internet just close the tab or browser its really simple...however i do understand when it starts to invade private (or 'real') life but even those people i don't have time for because at the end of the day the information used to pursue you in your real life was provided by you at some point therefore your own damn fault
19 November at 00:17 · Like

Philip - Abusive relationships, especially if it's a mixture of online and offline pressure, are far from simple. If someone is giving out their information it's not always due to ignorance. But as long as people know there are other places to go and tool to use, it shouldn't be an issue.
19 November at 00:20 · Like

Daniel - right but still if someone calls me a **** online i give not 2 shits because it dosnt matter
if they research me and find say where i work so they can come up to me and say it to my face id honestly laugh that they went to all that trouble over nothing
19 November at 00:22 · Like · 1

Philip - That's probobly because we as adults know that we can literally stop them giving us shit. That's the most basic level where easy things can be done.
19 November at 00:24 · Like

Daniel - thats what i mean those skills should be taught in school something like 'hey kids if you get trolled on the internet why not just close the window and do something else...%100 effective
19 November at 00:26 · Like · 1

Chelsea - Lol
19 November at 00:28 via mobile · Like

Morgan - What people say to others on the interner can have as much impact as when it's said face to face. It's not okay to bully anyone whether it's physical, verbal or emotional. It's not okay to tell someone to kill themselves in any way.
Basically what you're saying is that it's okay to do that.
People who are sensitive or have any kind of emotion will be affected by negative or abusive comments. Yes, it is easy to click that little X in the corner to get away from it, but unless you're some kind of ecotistical arse, it will still bug you. It will still hurt you. And anyone with low self esteem will be severely affected.
It's not okay to hurt people like that. Frankly, people who think it's okay to bully someone are not worth my time, because it hurts to be bullied, no matter how it happens.
19 November at 05:22 via mobile · Like

Daniel - no morgan thats bullshit im not saying its okay to bully someone what i am saying is that it is borderline stupid to throw your life away over something as pathetically trivial as someone says 'oh you should kill yourself lol xoxo' and the first response is not 'well fuck that guy imma go play team fortress' instead its to do what the asshole says permanent fix to a temporary problem and if what it takes to be offended by whats been said is reading then stop fucking reading it let it go jesus christ morgan i thought you knew better you know what trolling is like on the internet it starts small then snowballs but that's just it the snowball can be stopped by either side and the answer isnt a bullet in your brain lets take for example jessi slaughter (and one of the funniest memes in history) she posted naked pictures of herself (underage encase no one knows about this) and instantly started being trolled so instead of just leaving it alone and not giving a shit she put a video up saying how much of a gangster she is and how if she ever meets one of the trolls she will 'put a glock in your mouth and make a brain slushy' and you are telling me this girl is emotionally fragile? she was only fragile when it had snowballed so much and started to effect her real life that she was fragile and then what happened? oh yea the dad got involved equal moron and yet hilarious who starts yelling at the camera with her daughter crying then her dad goes to prison for child abuse/molestation and jessi goes into care...now when should she have stopped? well assuming right at the beginning isnt an answer right before she made the brain slushy vid if she couldnt stop herself from that then her parents should've stepped in and turned the internet off pure and simple
19 November at 09:34 · Like

Daniel - better yet lets go for something a little more personal elliot brown (cassius plejaren) when he was spouting his bullshit about being an alien and joining his ministry a lot of people told me 'he is just a troll leave it alone he aint hurting no one really' but i said every time 'what he is saying is dangerous because its a slippery slope to something more serious' and i had people telling me i was a cyberbully because i pursued it and yea i got some cheap laughs outta it but i was trying really hard for people not to take him seriously...but wait...then they did and his requests became more and more sinister and i contacted him to say 'hey you cant ask for that shit over the internet because impressionable people will get hurt over it so just wind it down a bit' then again IM the bully here

then a 14 year old girl gets involved...
suffice to say i have the chatlogs and while i haven't publicly released them more than handing them to the police its genuinely sickening to read where she is on camera with her top off covering herself up and asking him 'is this how to show my love to the plejarens' and he is essentially coaching her on what to do on camera saying he needs to see it for it to work and then saying (and this was the really sick bit) 'i cant feel you, you need to stand up and confess your sins' he then goes onto say 'i need to inspect your body before you can join us but its ok because i am a man of god and you will be forgiven' im not gonna describe it any further but

Spoiler

she does whatever he wants and shows him whatever he wants to see (it wasn't a videolog it was only a chat log so i can only assume what happened based on the chat) hell better than that a 11 year old girl contacted me and asked me to help her because she had been victimized in the same way...and all it boils down to in both cases is not knowing when to stop not being taught the general nature of the internet and not knowing that there IS a temporary fix to this temporary problem of people saying stupid shit on the internet and that the permanent fix should never be an option in the first place
19 November at 09:47 · Like

Daniel - also on that last one so far as i know elliot was arrested and interviewed by the police...i dont know if they charged him but he subsequently left youtube and blogtv (or) had his accounts banned
19 November at 09:48 · Like

Daniel - now if you think all of that is wrong morgan...fair enough but i never said it is ok to bully people what i said and will stand by is that people need to be more educated when it comes to the general nature of the internet so that they know to just close tab before it gets any worse

and if you have no time for me for that then im sorry you feel that way
19 November at 09:55 · Like

Morgan - When someone sends a message like that it's usually after prolonged abuse, and it's very rarely worded like that, no one would take a message like that seriously. The more common "You're an ugly fat slag, go kill yourself." will have a much bigger impact, and if it follows weeks of abusive messaging then it will be taken seriously.
It's not always easy to walk away from something like that.
The cases you use are quite extreme, not all cases of cyberbullying are like that. They're subtle jibes leading up to death threats, and if you think about it, there are many parallels between cyber bullying and domestic abuse. Why does the woman go back if the man hits her? Why do they go back to the same forum if that's where they're being bullied?
19 November at 12:06 via mobile · Like

Daniel - right but i kinda wanna say domestic abuse is different...i see where you are coming from and you are right but the thing is something like (im going to hell) 4chan isnt a spouse or love interest its a website when you say its weeks of abusive messaging that is my point...block people most websites have the feature built in like its the law...kinda like an abused wife taking up jujitsu
19 November at 12:35 · Like

Morgan - It's whether or not someone has the capacity to use it, some bullies go out of their way to harass others and sometimes it doesn't work, I appreciate the fact that it's an easy thing to prevent if people would just stop and think for a bit. It could also be stopped by people using the internet as a shield to hide behind while putting other people down.
I think that a lot of these cyber bullies wouldn't have the balls to say the kinds of things they do if they had to actually say it face to face with another person.
There are some very easy ways to resolve it, but so long as the internet exists it will a constant ground for abuse, which is a shame considering the capacity and potential of the internet.
19 November at 16:12 · Like

Connor - Seriously?
The broadsides you two are exchanging are fascinating, don't get me wrong... It was hard to read your return volleys Dan, extreme lack of punctuation going on.

People act how they act at the end of the day. And people have different personas for different things that they do. If all people who browse the internet were taught in schools that it is more than a place for playing Flash games or watching porn or being nasty to people who have a different opinion, then the web would be a nicer place, probably filled with funny .gifs and kittens, (read: Reddit)

Dan has a point. Morgan has a point. Both are equally valid.

The point being that the vast majority of people are fucking idiots.
19 November at 17:02 · Like

Daniel - couldent've said it better myself but its also exactly my point it shouldent be about weather you have the capacity to use it they should sit kids down and say (not in these words mind) 'hey if someone is being a dick to you on the internet and you feel upset over it then close the browser and/or do something else that isnt gonna expose you to that...dont feed the trolls' thats what i was talking about is kids should be educated about the nature of the internet before they start using it
19 November at 19:22 · Like

Daniel - (on a side note) 'HI BILLY MAYES HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT TROLL AWAY ALL PURPOSE TROLL REPELLANT'
19 November at 19:39 · Like

Morgan - But everyone has feelings and emotions that can be damaged by a single comment, you can't train children to not have feelings or emotions.
19 November at 19:45 · Like

Daniel - facebook is derping me out of a responce ...
19 November at 19:49 · Like

Connor - No, but that's not the point Dan was making. You can't wrap people in bubble wrap on the Internet, you go on there at your own risk and if you can't handle it, that's your own lookout. That's the point he was making.
19 November at 19:50 via mobile · Like

Daniel - kinda my point is that you can prepare people for it so when a bunch of trolls attack its taken for the big joke it is ment to be
19 November at 19:51 · Like

Daniel - it could just be because im dead inside...
19 November at 19:51 · Like

Connor - And if parents were responsible enough, they wouldn't let their children on the Internet unsupervised until they were old enough to look after themselves
19 November at 19:51 via mobile · Like

Daniel - right thats what i was saying about jessi slaughter's parents shouldve just cut the internet off because she clearly had no idea what she was doing instead of relying on the cyberpolice to fight the battle for them
19 November at 19:53 · Like

Connor - Yeah, I understand that.
19 November at 19:54 via mobile · Like

Morgan - The initial comment that prompts you to leave the internet will still be with them. I agree that you're on the internet at your own risk, but some things can't just be laughed off as a joke, especially if it's telling someone to go kill themselves, most people won't make anything of it, but there are some fragile people on the internet, if the attack is unprovoked then there's nothing they can do about it happening.
As for Jessi, she was a victim but she brought it upon herself and allowed it to happen to her, what she did was wrong, how people responded was wrong and in turn how she responded to that was wrong.
19 November at 19:54 · Like

Daniel Belcher not really like i say its a permanant solution to a temporary problem
19 November at 19:55 · Like

Daniel - i do see what you are saying i just dont agree with it
19 November at 19:56 · Like

Morgan - Then we can agree to disagree?
19 November at 19:56 · Like

Daniel - NO WE MUST FIGHT THIS OUT TO THE DEATH
19 November at 19:56 · Like

Connor - "Fragile" people don't belong in a place where criticism waits around every switch and router.
19 November at 19:56 via mobile · Like

Daniel - ^ this
19 November at 19:57 · Like

Morgan - It happens though, everyone has access to the internet, you can't ban people from the internet. It's everywhere. No, they don't belong, but they are here and while you don't have to top toe around them as if they might break, a little consideration and a bit less dickish and childish behaviour will go a long way to make it less of a problem.
19 November at 19:58 · Like

Daniel - but this is what i am saying if you cant ban people from the internet then educate them about it and make it part of the school system...hell i was 10 when i first went on the internet and yes it was a bit of a shock and yea i did get buttmad occasionally but eventually that passes...however the only reason it was difficult at first was because no one told me a damn thing about it till i experienced it myself

also this is partially because i wanna see a trolling 101 class
19 November at 20:02 · Like

Connor - Of course, but you can't ban dicks and trolls from the Internet either and they are going to take advantage. For them, that is what the web is for. If fragile people react so badly to an anonymous username or avatar on the Internet, they would probably detonate with the force of a city-buster if someone told them to kill themselves to their face. Just saying.
I also may be trolling a little ^_^
19 November at 20:05 via mobile · Like

Daniel - i have been trolling a little but the majority of this is serious
19 November at 20:07 · Like

Morgan - You can tell people what to expect, it won't necessarily prepare them. If it's done in schools, it's done in a controlled environment, in a very measured way, they won't be exposed the the full brunt of the internet. Believe me, they won't let kids onto 4chan.
Taking that particular corner of our dear internet into consideration, it's something of a legend. Someone who is new to the internet will venture there, if they have the good sense, they will go there once and only once.
And that's my point, if people didn't hide behind anons and had to actually consider what they're saying to someone and how it is perceived by them they probably won't do it.
Cyber bullying doesn't have a huge movement, people say what Dan is saying: "Don't take it seriously, they're only joking." But imagine if you got a death threat posted anonymously through your letter box? If you got multiple messages like this? You'd go to the police, it'd be taken seriously. But if it's on your Facebook wall? A forum? You'd be laughed out of the building.
I guess what I'm saying is the people doing the bullying need to stop and the victims need to be taken seriously.
19 November at 20:10 · Like

Daniel - i have had death threats before
19 November at 20:13 · Like

Daniel - right but im not saying they arent victims and im not saying its right to bully people what im saying is killing yourself over it is laughably pointless
19 November at 20:14 · Like

Morgan - Do you know why people commit suicide/self harm?
19 November at 20:15 · Like

Daniel - considering my suicide history im gonna go ahead and say yes
19 November at 20:17 · Like

Morgan - Okay, we'll say it's because people feel so low, so worthless and unloved that they feel that the only way to stop the pain is to take their own lives or cause themselves physical pain to take the focus off the emotional/mental pain?
Right, some dirty little scrote on the internet adding to that won't help.
People do not kill themselves solely because of someone saying that they should. It's not A:"Go kill yourself." B:"lol k /life"
That's not it. It's the anonymous person that knows nothing about them piling on more and more misery along with shit going down IRL that will lead them to this. A person that feels low might take to the internet as a form of escapism, of finding help. If they don't go to the right places horrible little cowards with nothing better to do actually make it worse. One place they thought they could get away from anger, hate and scorn and even that place doesn't want them.
19 November at 20:22 · Like

Daniel - right but i already said that as soon as it is in real life (posting death threat letters to your house) then its no longer cyber bullying
19 November at 20:25 · Like

Connor - Because they go the the wrong place makes it the Internets fault? There are places that appreciate people with talent, but even that appreciation is essentially anonymous.
19 November at 20:26 via mobile · Like

Daniel - ^ this...again
19 November at 20:26 · Like

Daniel - there is a website for everyone out there if the one you are on is causing you distress...leave...then look for one that dosnt
19 November at 20:27 · Like

Connor - ^ My turn... This
19 November at 20:28 via mobile · Like

Daniel - \o/
also A:"Go kill yourself."
B:"lol k
/life"
funny shit right there
19 November at 20:29 · Like

Connor - Anyone on the net tells me to kill myself, I fucking do it every time just to make them feel bad.
19 November at 20:30 via mobile · Like

Morgan - No, that's not the point I'm trying to make Dan. Compare the response of the police if someone called saying someone had been posting them letters with someone calling them saying someone had written that on their facebook wall. It wouldn't be the same.
I'm not blaming the internet, a person should be wary of where they post certain things, but if they do it in the wrong place, other people shouldn't respond in such an awful way. Once some has told you to kill yourself, yes, you can leave the site, but if you are in a situation where you feel so low, it isn't erased from your memory. It's still there eroding away. It doesn't matter if you never visit that particular site again, the damage has been done.
19 November at 20:30 · Like

Daniel - you...you realize i suffer from depression right...i get flashbacks of worse shit than someone telling me to kill myself daily ok i could be a harder person but yes you're right the police dont accept cyberbullying as a genuine issue

BECAUSE IT SHOULDENT BE
19 November at 20:33 · Like

Daniel B- im saying that it should be nipped in the bud before kids go out on the internet
19 November at 20:34 · Like · 1

Connor - Sure it has, but you shouldn't wait until someone tells you to kill yourself to leave a site, if you can't hack the criticism just leave. And it doesn't take long to work out if you're in the wrong crowd. If you're in the wrong neighbourhood and you provoke someone, even unintentionally or by accidental ignorance, you're gonna get shot and it's not really anyone else's fault but your own
19 November at 20:35 via mobile · Like

Morgan - But it is. It causes emotional damage whether you like or not. Because people don't think about the damage it causes when they do these things. There's no way to nip it in the bud without removing emotions, and that will never happen.
And don't throw personal mental issues into the mix, cause I'm there too, buddy.

Connor, so you're in a shit place in your life and you go to a site where the forum seems friendly and inviting, you want to share your problems hoping that someone might help, they respond in a vile way pushing you over the edge and it's THAT PERSON'S fault? Seriously?
19 November at 20:36 · Like

Daniel - yea there is a way to nip it in the bud ITS ALL A FUCKING JOKE simples
19 November at 20:39 · Like

Connor - I would probe it out first, see if it genuinely has a decent user base, like r/selfhelp on reddit before sharing a damn thing. I don't think that it would seem friendly if that happens. That's a very extreme view.
19 November at 20:39 via mobile · Like

Daniel - also im not gonna get in a psychological problem pissing contest with you but im pretty sure i got some shit that will shock you
19 November at 20:40 · Like

Morgan - But it isn't. It's bullying. Remove the cyber from it. Causing intentional harm to someone.. physical, mental, emotional, face to face, over the internet. It's bullying. It's wrong and it does drive people to suicide. It happens. Bullying in any way shape or form shouldn't happen, but it does.

And good for you, Dan. It's completely off topic, I feel for you depression sucks, you have the ability to shrug it off. Whatever you went through made you stronger, gave you the ability to protect yourself. Not everyone can do that though.
19 November at 20:42 · Like

Daniel - right but what im saying is when it happens irl the reality is no one gives a shit just because it happens on the interweb people loose their shit over it
19 November at 20:43 · Like

Morgan - Because it's still a new thing.
There are people out there trying to control it, to stop it, but it's happening. It's being publicised to bring it to people's attention, that it is happening, and that it can easily be prevented... not prevented but make people aware that it's not okay to abuse people on the internet because it is costing people their lives.
19 November at 20:47 · Like

Daniel - and you think that will stop people...look at the responce anon made to amanda todd after she drank a bottle of death
19 November at 20:49 · Like

Connor - I would say the internet has a fair clip to catch up with the number of cases of non-internet instigated suicides...
19 November at 20:49 · Like

Connor - Amanda Todd was a bit tragic... but by the same token. What the fuck was she thinking?
19 November at 20:50 · Like

Morgan - No, it won't stop people, some drugs are illegal, people still take them, murder is illegal, people still kill. I know it won't stop, but making people aware of the damage it can cause will make them realise that it's not okay to do it.
19 November at 20:51 · Like

Morgan - That is why people still flip out over it. AWARENESS
19 November at 20:52 · Like

Connor - I don't think anyone really thinks it's okay but the fact that it is the internet takes three vital things away from an encounter. From the perpetrator it takes both responsibility and consequence because it is the internet and anonymous so they don't have to deal with the havoc they wreak. From the victim it takes away faith in humanity, and justifiably so. The fact that repercussions are few and far between is unlikely to change due to the very nature of the internet.

So long as there are jealous people, angry people, people having a bad day or for that matter of fact, any kind of person, there will be bullies. Until humans have their emotions selectively bred out of them and logic bred in like Vulcans, that's just the way it's going to be.
19 November at 20:59 · Like

Morgan - THANK YOU
19 November at 21:00 · Like

Morgan - The fact that people are now getting arrested due to cyber bullying is a huge step.
19 November at 21:01 · Like

Connor - By then bullying will be justified and the person being bullied would have to kill themselves as a matter of course as there would be a logical reason for them to be bullied.

Yes. I suppose it is for conservatives forcing their views and laws onto an entity that is supposed to be free of all that. A good thing.
I applaud the efforts of cybercrime watchdogs in the big cases but I still reckon it'll be a while before the arrests become proactive instead of reactive measures.
19 November at 21:05 · Like

Morgan - Bullying isn't logical, there is no justifiable reason for it.
19 November at 21:09 via mobile · Like

Connor - Proviso: That we know of.
19 November at 21:10 · Like

Morgan - There is no reason in the multiverse that one person can justify causing deliberate damage another person.
There is no logic in bullying. It's an unprovoked attack on another person for no justifiable reason.
19 November at 21:14 · Like

Connor - Ah fuck it.
There's no proof of a multiverse but I'm getting bored of this now. I cba with the trolling.

Oh fragile one
19 November at 21:16 · Like

Morgan - I'm sorry, but as a victim of bullying, I take it rather seriously and any form of it sickens me.
19 November at 21:16 · Like

Morgan - Have a good night, brother-mine.
19 November at 21:17 · Like

Morgan - Also, does this mean I win?
19 November at 21:17 · Like · 1

Connor - I understand.
No, you win nothing because this is on the internet. Haven't you read a word of what we've been talking about?

Wait, I concede, here have a completely fake, non-transferrable, completely meaningless internet point.
19 November at 21:19 · Like

Morgan - awesome
19 November at 21:20 · Like

Connor - Been fun sparring with you. Have a good night
19 November at 21:21 · Like

It's mostly about cyber bullying, but all of my views (I'm Morgan) are exactly the same with non cyber bullying. Basically, bullying is bad, it shouldn't happen, but it does and unfortunately, there isn't much we can do about it

 

[Yopaz]

I disagree. Violence solves things, quite a few things actually.

Well you and I have had different experiences there it seems. I have tried violence as a solution to some of the bullying I have face in the past. The result was that I would just get ganged up on rather have one person against me. So the chance of getting beaten by one ended with me being beaten by 4 persons.

I have also seen people who have actually managed to beat up their bully and get into all kinds of problems because of it. Some getting off with a suspension and some getting a criminal record which made it all but impossible to get a job even decades afterwards.

Even if you have had positive results by turning to violence be aware of the possibility that it might not solve your problems. Your experiences aren't universal facts.

 

[miketehmage]

snip

My point is that if you CAN fight back, you should. I understand that in alot of cases people can't. But I think if you are able to fight back, that is a better deterrent than the threat of detention no?

 

[lacktheknack]

There's a great quote by Nancy Reagan that goes along the lines of "not letting others affect how you feel". I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but that idea goes a long way.

Not only is that a terrible idea (how will you ever learn you're doing something wrong?), it's inapplicable to bullying.

Years of being told you're undesirable makes you feel undesirable. It's simply how brains work. Saying "ignore it" is like telling a bulimic to "ignore" their desires to purge every time they eat. That's simply not how it works.

 

[A.A.K]

Bullying has been HUGE in the states of recent years. "HUGE" in the sense that it's been in the media more, not that it hasn't been around.

Growing up, I experienced my fair share of bullying. Ranged from insults, to actual fights. But, I was taught to always stand up to bullies and stick up for others who were being bullied. Disagreements or bullies that took things to far usually ended up in the park, where we settled things with fists. One of us usually got the point after that.

The issue is this. WHY is bullying being presented in such a way today that it seems to make people want to jump off tall building?

Yea, it sucks, I get that. But in life, bullies will always be around. In fact, you can still find them in the grown up world. They just usually come from the back with a knife instead of a punch in the face.

Wouldn't a more apt solution to the bullying problem be to teach kids to stand up for themselves and others? The most common solutions that are being presented today are some of the most asinine things.

1. Telling a teacher
2. Ignoring it
3. ETC.

Most responses to bullies seem to be running away from the problem or shirking off the responsibility of the problem to a third party, RATHER then dealing with the issue yourself.

Maybe I'm old school, but in life, you can't wait for someone else to rescue you from your problems.

TOPIC:

Is the issue of bullying in the states a serious matter as presented in the media? Should kids learn to stand up for themselves? What are your personal experiences of bullying and how you handled them? What do you think of bulling overall?


(bullies, bully's, having a hard time with the English language.)

Thank you.

Normally I would write you a fucking essay explaining why your entire viewpoint is just a bunch of masochistic macho bullshit and how you are projecting yourself onto others and expecting them to have the same capability to deal with bullshit as yourself. But since my girlfriend is here and demanding that I make this brief, however amusing she may find it, I will have to summarise my essential viewpoint thus:

- Not all bullying can be solved with violence. Not all bullying can be solved fullstop. Not everyone can simply ignore things, not everyone can win that fight, not everyone has somewhere to turn and run.

- Bullying comes in grades. Seriously. Someone being called a shithead for their shithead views could be classed as bullying. Someone being viciously followed, stalked, having vicious rumours spread about them, being forced out of their lessons, being forced out of school, being systematically torn to pieces on a daily basis in both emotional and phsyical ways, that is ALSO bullying.

- Violence solves nothing.

Ok, Puppy dog eyes. I have to stop. Seriously.

Fuck anyone who blames the victim.

Interesting.
This is part of the reason why I never participate in bullying arguments and conversations.

I was bullied for as long as I can remember, more often than not it was physical... For my ethnicity, my last name, my attitude (I was always antagonistic to others by nature), opinions, appearance and eventually because I wasn't fighting back. and I did fight back, and it solved problems. Then when I got bullied for fighting back, you know - coz kids are cunts - I continued.

Violence has solved most of my problems, and my violence has solved the problems of friends, and has gotten me paid exceedingly well.
Bullying (in my eyes, and my eyes alone) will never be stopped, and should never be 'fully eradicated' in the same way I hope world peace never occurs.
but I'm aware this isn't the common view, not everyone can fight, not everyone is willing to fight, not everyone is willing to risk their future with a criminal record, (I'm not glorifying this here. That's a potential risk, and it fucks shit up), and there's nothing I can do about any of that.
My little cousin listened to the teachers opinion, the brochures/pamphlets at school, his parents, my parents, his grandma and all that about dealing with bullying. It didn't work. Eventually he took my route and stuck sewing (sowing? I don't know how to spell it) scissors into the kids gut. After a year and a half of non-stop physical, emotional and cyber- bullying. You know what happened? He got suspended for a month, had to go to some anger-management bullshit class, and the bullying stopped overnight.
He hasn't been bullied since and it's been nearly 2 years now.

This is why I don't partake in these arguments.

Captcha: You are happy.

 

[Ragsnstitches]

The OP is right. lol at the strawman arguments in response to OP, 'no one deserves to be bullied'. Nice try.

Care to elaborate on how the OP is right? Is it the victim blaming? Or the inferred cowardice of putting pressure on the victim rather then confronting the bully? I mentioned this earlier already, but if your strong enough to stand up for yourself, what's stopping you from standing up for others?

Apart from having no backbone of course.

The irony of the OPs position is that his "logic" equates to bullying anyway. He assumes that the act of bullying stems from a fault in the victim and is merely exploited by the bully. That the victim has an inherent flaw and it's their responsibility to sort out. He forgets that bullying can in fact induce this flaw. A bully can whittle down a persons will until they become incapable of standing up for themselves, which in turn, emboldens the bullies actions.

What's more he forgets that bullies are RARELY individual threats, but instead a group of peers who derive pleasure from tormenting an individual. These are bullies that initiate and incessantly pursue aggressive/oppressive actions towards the victim. But we also have another sort, the ones who sit on the sides and let it happen, feeling some smug satisfaction or sense of superiority over the victim.

You, and the OP, are the latter.

This logic makes him (quite blatantly) unsympathetic to victims of bullying and ultimately belittles the struggles of said victims. Given the right situation, I wouldn't be surprised if he would harass someone or physically intimidate them himself, whether that person is deserving of it or not. You see, he has already convinced himself that the bully is not the problem, but the person with no courage to rebel against the bully is. So he would think all he's doing is giving the poor sod a taste of real life, rather then being completely objective about it and seeing that he's just being a fucking dick.

As I said earlier. If you actively promote opposing bullies, then why the fuck don't you act as you preach? Are bullies only a bully if they are bullying you? No. Then why not stand up to bullies on principle?

Oh yeah, the aforementioned absence of a backbone might be why.

Yeah, its the way the bullying is presented that makes people kill themselves... not the bullying itself. Good job blaming the victims, and you chose good victims too because these ones are too dead to fight back(!)

Building on what I said above, I'm guessing you see the Irony of the OPs standpoint too. He's pressuring the victims of bullies to grow some balls, which is both degrading and demeaning to the victim, which is coincidentally (or not) the same result as bullying.

Go figure. It really does feel like the OP is a bully himself, and is simply enabling his own actions. I mean, you can't blame him for being an ass, it's just those pussy kids that just get all pissy and sadfaced when someone tells them they are wimpy cowards... why don't they just stand up for themselves?

While were at it... depression? Cheer the fuck up!

(I'm sick of these threads. The OP thinks they are imparting some worldly wisdom, while all we receive is the stench self-gratifying arrogance).